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EXTRACTS 



THE JOURNAL 



OF THE LATE 



MARGARET WOODS, 



FROM THE YEAR 1771 TO 1821. 



" All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change 
come."— Job, xiv. 14. 



SECOND EDITION. 



LONDON: 



PUBLISHED BY JOHN & ARTHUR ARCH, CORNHILL; 

W. ALEXANDER AND SON, YORK; AND DAVEY 

AND MUSKETT, BRISTOL. 



1830. 



^ 



C. BAYNES. Primer. 
Duke Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields. 



PREFACE. 



The Manuscript, from which the follow- 
ing pages are extracted, was bequeathed by 
the writer to her daughter and grand-daugh- 
ters, with views which may be best explained 
in her own words ; " Not that I consider 
them as containing any thing new, or par- 
ticularly valuable, but because I think the 
remarks made by one for whom we retain an 
affectionate remembrance, are often more at- 
tended to, than those of persons to whom we 
are indifferent." 

Those who have received consolation and 
encouragement from the perusal of this 
Manuscript, believe that their estimate of its 
value is not derived solely from their own 
feelings of love and respect for the Author, 



IV 

and hope that its usefulness may be extended 
to a wider circle by the present publication. 
It is scarcely necessary to add, that in pre- 
paring this for the press, a few merely verbal 
alterations have been admitted. 

Margaret Woods, a member of the Society 
of Friends, was the eldest daughter of Sa- 
muel* and Grizell Hoare, many years resi- 
dent at Stoke Newington, near London. She 
was born in 1748, and was married to Joseph 
Woods in the spring of 1769. They at first 
settled in London, but after two or three 
years removed to Stoke Newington ; and she 
continued to reside in that village, till her 
seventy-fourth year, when she peacefully de- 
parted this life, on the fifth of the seventh 
month, 1821, little more than a week after 
writing the last paragraph in the Journal. 

* Son of Joseph and Margaret Hoare, of Cork. 



CONTENTS. 



1771. Page 

" Set thine house in order, for thou shalt die," &e. L 

" Hear, O Heavens, and give ear, O earth" 2 

1772. 

Self-examination 5 

1773. 

A sense of the mercies of God tends to humility 9 

The danger of self-indulgence 11 

Consolatory reflections on the providence of God 12 

Reflections arising from a visit 14 

" In thy presence, O God, is fulness of joy" 15 

On attending meetings 17 

1774. 

The comfort and support of religion 18 

On attention to the words of ministers — Gratitude 

to God 19 

Silent meetings 21 

Happiness here, dependant on the hopes of im- 
mortality 22 

Necessity of keeping close to our Spiritual Guide 23 

On some expressions of S. Fothergill 24 

1775. 

The influence of the Holy Spirit 27 

" Into thine hand I commit my spirit" 28 

Speculative reasoning — Catherine Phillips 29 

On patience under anxiety 32 

The difference of customs 34 

On Scripture Commentaries 35 

The benefit of a humbled state 37 

On vexation of spirit 39 

Afflictions should not lead to discontent 40 

" He that doeth righteously is righteous" 42 

The love of retirement 47 

The benefit to be derived from reproof 50 

On the doctrine of perfection 52 

a 3 



VI 

Page 

Thoughts on the ministry 54 

The government of the passions 57 

1776. 

The shortness of time, and the pursuit of knowledge 61 

On appearances of neglect from friends 64 

Death of A. G 66 

The happiness of trust in God 67 

On self-confidence 68 

Knowledge, speculative reasoning — Duties of wo- 
men 69 

Reflections 74 

Love of the world — Need of watchfulness 75 

" Unto the pure all things are pure" 77 

1777. 

" Except a man be born again," &c 79 

" My sheep hear my voice" — Earnest desire for 

acceptance 81 

The necessity of perseverance < 83 

Family cares, and miscellaneous observations. ... 85 
" Days should speak, and a multitude of years 

teach wisdom" 89 

1778. 

Remarks during indisposition — Gratitude for 

mercies 91 

Influence of mind and body on each Gther 94 

On the disposition to self-excuse 95 

1779. 

On comparingour Society to the children of Israel 97 

Spiritual worship and forms of worship 99 

On meekness 100 

The desire for happiness, and the means of attain- 

ingit 102 

17S0. 

Faith is the gift of God 104 

Benefit of the Cross 105 

" Without me ye can do nothing" 107 

" In the world ye shall have tribulation" 109 

On the desire of applause Ill 

The need of consistency and perseverance 112 

On zeal and faith 114 

1781. 

Thankfulness under weakness 116 



Vll 

Page 

On judgments 117 

Difference between theory and practice 118 

On censorious remarks 120 

1782- 

The disposition to build on happiness here 122 

Inoculation of children 124 

On tenacity in argument — Love of power 125 

Danger of thinking too well of ourselves 127 

On the miseries of life 129 

1783. 

Death of a relation 136 

On discipline 137 

Review of life 139 

Benefit of being out of the way of temptation. . . . 141 

On a jealous temper 143 

1784. 

Comparison of temporal blessings 145 

1786. 

" We must through much tribulation enter," &c. 146 

Duty of compassionating the failings of others .. 148 

1787. 

" Lead us not into temptation" 1 50 

Desire for watchfulness and humility 152 

1788. 

Desire for patience — On good humour 153 

On zeal for the church 155 

Visit to Winchmore-hill Meeting 156 

" Lord, remember me when thou comest," &c. . . 157 

" If in this life only we have hope," &c 159 

On liberality of sentiment 161 

Estimate of earthly things in theory and practice 163 

" My son, give me thine heart" 165 

1790. 

Sense of humiliation from human depravity .... 166 

1792. 

Solicitude of parents, and advice to children 168 

1793. 

The poor, and our duties towards them 172 

Hot weather 175 

1794. 

New year — Need of watchfulness in small trials 176 



Vlll 

Page 

Death of a near relation 178 

T. Scattergood — No progress while religion is a 

task 179 

1795. 
Frost and thaw 181 

Serious state of public affairs 1 82 

" When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy 

fingers," &c 183 

1796. 

Exhortation to be religious 184 

Internal revelation 185 

Death of the writer's father 187 

" God is our refuge and strength" 188 

Thoughts in illness 190 

1797. 

The goodness of God 191 

" Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also 

reap" 193 

Confidence and fear 195 

" A prophet is not without honour but in his own 

country" , , 196 

At Hastings 198 

" Many are the afflictions of the righteous" 199 

1798. 

We get forward by little and little 200 

" Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of" 201 
" Good is the word of the Lord which thou hast 

spoken" 202 

1799. 

Famil y cares 204 

The guidance of youth 205 

Mercy in affliction 208 

The query respecting love 209 

The corruption of human nature 211 

1800. 
"Lord, I have loved the habitation of thy house" 214 
Death of a little grand-daughter, and reflections 215 
" Friends counsel quick dismission of our grief" 216 

Transient nature of human joys 217 

Marriage and burial 218 

1801. 
A new century — " Canst thou by searching find 

out God" 220 



IX 

Page 

Man to be judged according to the light received 223 

* As for me arid my house, we will serve the 

Lord" ". 226 

Death of a friend, and reflections 22S 

" Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" . . 232 
" Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee" 234 
" The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous 

man," &c 236 

" Give me now wisdom and knowledge," &c 237 

1802. 

Children begin life as their parents leave off 240 

The danger of self-exaltation 242 

Duty of improving the one talent 244 

" He has no hope who never had a fear" 245 

On the failure of faculties 247 

" I will fear no evil, for thou art with me" 248 

Our need of Divine mercy 250 

Death of the writer's mother 252 

1803. 
" I can do all things through Christ, which 

strengtheneth me" 254 

Progress sometimes by small steps 255 

Approach of summer — On the ministry 257 

Recollections associated with May-day 259 

Winchmore-hill Meeting and burial-ground 260 

" The lot is cast into the lap"— Public affairs . . 262 
Storm — Reflections arising from public affairs 264 

Fast-day 268 

State of the poor 269 

" All the days of my appointed time will I wait" 270 
Prayers, usually repetitions 271 

1804. 

Serious reflections 272 

The doubting disciple 274 

" Oh, send out thv light and thy truth" 276 

* What lack I yet" 277 

" Love your enemies" 278 

" Be not weary in well-doing" 280 

1805. 

All our desires should tend towards heaven 282 

On serving God and Mammon 283 

Controversy proves the fallibility of human nature 284 

Soliloquy 286 



X 

Page 

"For all I bless thee, most for the severe" 287 

On marriage between persons of different per- 
suasions 288 

1806. 

" My heart is fixed" 290 

" A man's enemies are the men of his own house" 291 

The hopes and fears of parents 292 

The danger of familiarity with vice 295 

On self-love 297 

Contemplation of Infinite power — " Love one to 

another" 300 

1807. 

Kindness should be ungrudging 302 

Stand in your allotments ■. 303„ 

Reflections on the anticipation of evil . , 304 

Hope in affliction 306 

The present an evil world 307 

1808. 
" Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" .... 310 

On seeking the Lord 313 

On the fear of being accused of hypocrisy 315 

On love 317 

On evangelical preaching 320 

1809. 
Floods — Unprofitableness of gloomy anticipations 323 

The distribution of talents 325 

On prudent limitation of expenses 328 

What is religion 329 

On duty and fashion applied to the education of 

the poor 331 

" Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right" 333 

Watch over one another for good 337 

On detraction 339 

1810. 

Remarks on some opinions of Locke 340 

Self-retrospect 343 

On truth 344 

Meditation 345 

On sympathy 346 

Reflections 347 

"Remember now thy Creator," &c 349 

On dissimulation 353 



XI 

Page 

1811. 

Duties in a sick chamber 35S 

" We walk by faith and not by sight" 360 

Death of a young friend 363 

On disinterested love 365 

" Commune with your own heart" 366 

" Men and brethren, what shall we do" 367 

" If any man will come after me, let him deny 

himself" 370 

" God so loved the world," &c 373 

1812. 

On the manifestations of Christ in the heart .... 374 

The consolation of faith and trust 376 

Qn spiritual communion 379 

" Great is the mystery of godliness" 380 

" My righteousness I hold fast" 382 

Thankfulness for the feeling of love 384 

Remarks in the Yearly Meeting 386 

Decease of the writer's husband 388 

Gloomy prospects — Reflections under anxiety .. 391 

1813. 

Infinite goodness beheld through faith 397 

On prayer 402 

Trust in God 403 

On the parable of the labourers in the vineyard. . 404 

The temptation of riches 406 

" One event to the righteous and to the wicked". . 408 

The unprofitableness of ease and indulgence 409 

" If God will indeed be with me," &c 41 1 

On evil thoughts 413 

1814. 

The Gospel, glad tidings to sinners 415 

On Gospel doctrine 416 

" In the day of prosperity be joyful" 419 

Meditation 420 

Comfort under depression 421 

" Behold, I am vile" 422 

Desire for rest , , . . . 424 

Reflections 426 

1815. 

On the management of children 427 

" Is any among you afflicted, let him pray" 429 

" Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven". . 430 

On devotion 433 



Xll 

Page 
1816. 

Remarks on reading Law's Works 435 

Letters of Locke andMolyneux 436 

Various motives for leaving the Society of Friends 437 
On reading Owen's History of the Bible Society 442 

On forms of baptism 446 

Prayer 447 

On the duties of women 448 

1817. 
" Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me," &c. 450 

Prayer ". 452 

On hope and assurance 454 

" Who can understand his errors" 455 

Family visit 457 

Yearly Meeting — Death of Princess Charlotte .. 458 
" All the days of mv appointed time will I wait" 459 
1818. ^ 

Birth-day 461 

" Who is among you that feareth the Lord" .... 463 

Indisposition , \ . . 465 

Family visit — " If thou doest well," &c 466 

" Could ye not watch with me one hour" 468 

The Society of Friends 471 

Dangers of prosperity 472 

The instruction of Eli to Samuel 475 

Not "to put a stumbling-block before the blind" ib. 

The comparative happiness of different stations . . 478 

1819. 

Ulness and death of a sister 479 

" Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift 

you," &c 481 

Mixture of evil in our best performances 483 

The comfort of resignation 484 

1820. 
Acquiescence in the will of God — The love of God 487 

Advice to stand in our allotments 488 

Illness 488 

Wish to live only to be useful 490 

1821. 

" All the children of Israel had light in their 

dwellings" 490 

Retrospect of the state of society 492 

Increase of infirmities — Death of a relation .... 493 

Illness 494 

Religious visit 495 



EXTRACTS 
FROM THE JOURNAL, 

fyc. 



1771. 

oet thine house in order, for thou shalt 
die and not live."* It is a necessary en- 
gagement of mind frequently to look for- 
ward beyond the limits of this world, and 
ponder in our hearts whether we are fit to 
receive this awful message, " Thou shalt die 
and not live." However lightly we may 
treat these matters in the days of health and 
strength, yet the time will inevitably arrive, 
when we shall see the importance of them, 
and consider the gain of the whole world as 
nothing in comparison of our own souls. 

When the prospect of the grave seems to 
* II Kings, xx. 1. Isaiah, xxx^iii. 1. 
B 



2 177L 

open before us, the scene closing upon us in 
which we must bid adieu to all this world 
can afford, we are necessarily driven to the 
thought of what may be hereafter, and what 
account we shall be able to give before the 
Judge of the whole earth. Happy are we if 
we can appeal to God as did Hezekiah, 
" Remember now, O Lord, I beseech thee, 
how I have walked before thee in truth, and 
with a perfect heart, and have done that 
which is good in thy sight."* If our con- 
sciences condemn us not, then shall we have 
confidence towards God, and rest assured that 
when this earthly tabernacle is dissolved, and 
the message is sent, which informs us that 
we must die and not live, we shall have a 
habitation in the heavens, a crown of glory, 
that will never be taken away. 

" Hear, O Heavens, and give ear, O earth : "f 
This solemn call seems to fill the mind with 
a peculiar awe, and prepare it for attention 
to the most important truths. The same call 
is yet extended to us, in this generation. Be 
instructed, O my people, is the voice of the 
Father of Mercies. To hear the words of 
instruction, we must withdraw from the al- 
luring pleasures of a sinful world, come out 
* Isaiah, xxxviii. 3. t Isaiah, i.2. 



1771. 3 

of Babylon, and partake not of her idolatries ; 
for though the visitation of the Most High 
is extended to all mankind, that all may re- 
pent and live ; yet the first command is, 
" Cease to do evil,"* and then shall we be 
instructed how u to do well." In the hour 
of cool meditation, how frequently do we 
hear the soft whisper of conscience, not only 
condemning the evil, and leading us to re- 
pentance, but pointing out to us the way by 
which we may arrive at happiness and glory. 
Inward retirement helps to show us our- 
selves ; the weakness and poverty of our situa- 
tion, and the necessity of receiving strength 
and consolation from Him, who can remove 
all difficulties, and is " As the shadow of a 
great rock in a weary land."+ How earnest, 
then, should be our endeavours to make God 
our friend ! How necessary is it for us to 
retire inward, that we may hear and receive 
with deep attention the voice of instruction, 
knowing that it is only by obedience that we 
can inherit the promise. But let us not de- 
ceive ourselves with vain imaginations, and 
think that a form of godliness will serve, 
without the power. 

" My son, give me thine heart,";): is the 
call to each individual. It is not a partial 

* Isaiah, i. 1G, 17. t Isaiah, xxxii. 2. \ Prov. xxiii. 96. 



4 1771. 

obedience with respect to moral rectitude, 
that will do for us; but the obedience that is 
by faith : for without faith no man can please 
God. If we would be heirs of the kingdom, 
we must be disciples of Christ. Self-righte- 
ousness must be brought low. All pride must 
be laid in the dust, all high-mindedness be 
done away. We must learn meekness and 
humility of heart, and sit as at the footstool 
of Jesus, waiting for the gracious words 
which proceed out of his mouth. 

O Father of all creatures, Author and 
Creator of all good, condescend, I beseech 
thee, in thy never-failing mercy, to instruct 
us, who are the workmanship of thy hands, 
how we shall come before thy throne with an 
acceptable sacrifice. 

Whilst in this world of doubt and per- 
plexity, wandering in the mazes of error, and 
bewildered in the paths of uncertainty, do 
Thou, O God, enlighten our understandings, 
and make us perfect in that knowledge, which 
maketh wise unto salvation. Suffer not our 
minds to be cast down with finding our in- 
capacity of clearly discovering those things, 
which thou hast placed beyond our reach ; 
but grant, O Father of Mercies, that we may 
rest satisfied with those capacities which 



1772. 5 

thou hast given us ; and be content to walk in 
humility and fear before thee, waiting for 
the glorious appearance of our Lord and Sa- 
viour Jesus Christ, when that veil which now 
obscures our sight shall be drawn aside, and 
we shall see things clearly, as face to face. 
Suffer not our minds to be puffed up with the 
vanity of fruitless inquiries into things be- 
yond our depth, but rather let us endeavour 
to acquire meekness and humility of heart, 
the most truly valuable accomplishments; 
that, through the assistance of thy holy 
Spirit, we may shine as lights in the world, 
and live to the praise and glory of thy name, 
desiring that our spirits may be bowed before 
thee in awful reverence, and that we may 
return thanksgiving for all thy mercies, under 
a deep sense, O Lord, that thou art worthy 
of all adoration and praise, both from thy 
dependant creatures in this world, and those 
blessed spirits, who are ever ministering be- 
fore thy throne. 



1772. 

January. — Since the nature of man re- 
quires constant watchfulness, and a close 
inspection into our conduct is necessary, I 
think it may not be unprofitable to ask our- 



6 1772. 

selves the following, or similar questions, at 
the close of each day, before we go to rest. 

1st. Did I rise at a proper time in the 
morning, and, not having indulged sloth and 
laziness, endeavour to collect my thoughts, 
for the purpose of devotion ; with thankful- 
ness, reflect on the continued mercies of my 
Creator, and, from a deep sense of the neces- 
sity of divine grace, ardently pour out my 
soul, according to the ability given, in fer- 
vent supplications at the footstool of His 
throne, who is ever ready to give to those 
who ask aright ? 

2d. Have I endeavoured, in every occur- 
rence of the day, to preserve a meek and 
humble deportment : discarded every emotion 
to anger and resentment ; not given way to 
any perverse thought or act, but checked 
every imagination that tended to evil ? 

3d. Have I avoided all untruth and dissi- 
mulation ; endeavoured that my words might 
be few and savoury, and that temperance in 
all things might be preserved ? 

4th. Have I in no instance omitted to do 
good ; administering according to ability 
given, both to the spiritual and temporal 
wants of my fellow-creatures; remembering 
that time is not to be spent in idleness; and 
that it becomes those who have not their 



1772. 7 

hands fall with labouring' in the care of their 
own families, more especially to abound in 
works of charity, clothing the naked, and 
visiting the sick ? 

5th. Have I been sincere in my endeavours 
to act for the honour and glory of God; not 
playing the hypocrite, or seeking praise of 
men ; but keeping my heart pure and un- 
defiled, have I diligently improved those 
talents committed to my care, seeking to ap- 
prove myself a faithful steward to Him who 
judgeth righteously ? 

Should we be unable to answer these que- 
ries in the affirmative, let us not judge them 
unsuitable ; for though, finding we can an- 
swer them day after day, and year after year, 
with so little satisfaction, is apt sometimes to 
deter the mind from this close examination 
into our conduct, and the secret springs of 
all our actions ; yet let us remember that an 
all-seeing eye takes such an inspection, and 
discerns even the most private thoughts and 
intents of the heart. If we are yet strangers 
and aliens from God, it is high time to begin 
our acquaintance with him, and while his dav 
of visitation is still extended, turn to him 
with full purpose of heart, to serve him all 
the rest of our lives. 



8 1772. 

Let us observe where our conduct has been 
hitherto most defective, and endeavour more 
diligently to guard against those errors in 
future; having confidence, that the Power, 
which has hitherto protected us, will assist 
us in the performance of every good word 
and work. If we sincerely repent of our sins, 
we may rely on the mercy of God for forgive- 
ness, knowing that He is faithful who hath 
promised. Not that a Christian is to rest 
satisfied with a state of continual sinning 
and repenting; he must bring forth works 
meet for repentance, such an amendment of 
life, as shows his repentance to be sincere. ' 

He who wilfully or negligently commits 
sin, with the prospect that he shall repent, is 
not unlikely to forfeit the mercy of God, 
have his heart hardened, and be cut off in his 
transgressions. But if our errors have pro- 
ceeded more from weakness and infirmities, 
than an intent to rebel against his commands, 
if we sincerely desire to amend, and fully pur- 
pose a greater watchfulness, that, through the 
assistance of Divine Grace, we may be en- 
abled to withstand every temptation, there is 
then no doubt that he will compassionate, and 
suffer the penitential tear, through the me- 
diation of a Saviour, to blot out those stains, 
which are otherwise indelibly marked in the 



1773. 9 

book of life. When we have arrived at this 
experience, we may safely close our eyes in 
peace ; and though the day should no more 
dawn, nor these eyes again behold the sun ; 
if, in the silent darkness of the night, while 
our bodies are enwrapt in sleep, which is 
the emblem of death, our souls should be 
translated to another world, yet we shall 
there behold the Sun of Righteousness, and 
awake to the enjoyments of a celestial pa- 
radise. 



1773. 

February 7th. — A mind possessed of any 
sensibility, must often feel itself deeply hum- 
bled, under the consideration of its own 
unworthiness of the numberless blessings 
bestowed by a merciful Creator. When we 
perceive the mercies of God, and are led to 
reflect on his watchful providence, and care 
for our welfare, we can hardly forbear cry- 
ing out in the language of holy writ, " What 
shall I render unto the Lord for all his 
benefits ?"* I often feel myself deeply im- 
pressed with a sense of the manifold blessings 
bestowed, and in humble thankfulness of 
heart, pour out my supplication to the Most 

* Psalm cxvi. 12. 

b5 



10 1773. 

High, that I may no longer be the unworthy 
receiver of such multiplied favours; but that 
my heart may be so melted with gratitude, 
and warmed with celestial love, that thanks- 
giving and praise may ascend from the in- 
most recesses of my soul. " To obey is 
better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the 
fat of rams."* The praises of the lip, and 
of the tongue, or even secret aspirations of 
the heart, are little trouble ; but obedience to 
the cross of Christ, and complying with His 
terms of salvation — these are things quite 
contrary to the spirit of this world, and en- 
gage all his followers in a painful warfare. 
By a perfect obedience to divine commands, 
we most glorify that God who made us, show 
our belief in His supreme power, and acknow- 
ledge the right of government to be in His 
hands. But without this attention to the 
voice of instruction, and obedience to the 
precepts received, we can never expect a 
growth in religion, or a partaking of those 
celestial dews, which cause the spirit to as- 
cend in grateful praise. Let us, therefore, 
diligently hearken and obey, that our souls 
may live ; live, in that divine life, which is 
alone living to the praise of him who created 
us ; and advancing from one degree of per- 
* I Samuel, xv. 22. 



1773. II 

fection to another, be prepared, at the con- 
clusion of time, for translation to that king- 
dom where " this corruptible must put on 
incorruption, and this mortal must put on 
immortality."* 

February 13th. — A life of indulgence is 
not the way to arrive at Christian perfection. 
There are many things that appear trifles, 
which greatly tend to enervate the soul, and 
hinder its progress in the path to virtue and 
glory. The habit of indulging in things 
which our judgments cannot thoroughly ap- 
prove, grows stronger and stronger by every 
act of self-gratification, and we are led on by 
degrees to an excess of luxury, which must 
greatly weaken our hands in the spiritual 
warfare. 

I was led to these reflections, by the con- 
sideration how lying late in bed of a morning 
creeps on by degrees. It appears a very tri- 
fling thing, and we can hardly believe, that 
half an hour's indulgence that way, amounts 
to a crime ; in itself it may not, and a general 
rule it would be impossible to fix ; but I be- 
lieve each individual is apt to determine onein 
his own mind, and the crime lies in extending 
our indulgence beyond that standard, which 

* I CorintlrMis. xv. 53. 



12 1773. 

our judgments have fixed. In every other 
action of life, the same reasoning takes place. 
If we do not endeavour to do that which is 
right in every particular circumstance, though 
trifling, we shall be in great danger of letting 
the same negligence take place, in matters 
more essential, and travel backwards all our 
lives, instead of experiencing that progressive 
state, which leads to a habitation, where care 
and sorrow never enter. We should keep a 
vigilant and strict watch over ourselves, 
knowing that the enemy of our souls has va- 
rious temptations to present, and where he 
cannot influence to sins of commission, fre- 
quently leads the mind to those of omission, 
on whose heels the former are likely soon to 
tread ; for we are gradually led on from the 
one to the other, and the mind, enslaved by 
indulgence, and unwilling to exert itself, 
is soon reduced to a sink of corruption, and 
can hardly be roused from such a state to 
a proper sense of duty, or animated to live 
such a life, as will alone lead to glory here- 
after. 

August 30th. — The comfortable reflection, 
that a watchful Providence regulates every 
event, and that nothing happens to us but 
for wise and good ends, greatly tends to 



1773. IS 

alleviate every earthly care, and prevent that 
anxiety, which would otherwise be the por- 
tion of mortals. 

If sickness, or even death approach us in 
our near connexions, if prospects of various 
sorrows present themselves to our view, how 
calm is that mind whose dependance is on the 
Lord, who considers all the evils of this life, 
as things, that endure but for a moment; and 
that they may work u for us a far more ex- 
ceeding and eternal weight of glory !"* It is 
often the earnest desire of my soul, that I may 
receive every dispensation with thankfulness; 
and that my will may be so wholly subjected 
to the Divine will, as to be able to say, with 
sincerity of heart, " Thy will be done on 
earth, as it is in heaven." 

If we feel that all is right within, why 
should outward events disturb our repose ? 
If the afflictions we meet with, are not judg- 
ments for past transgressions, and to rouse us 
more to a performance of duty in future, yet 
the sorrows that encompass us may be de- 
signed to wean us from this sublunary world, 
and engage us to fix our affections on hea- 
venly objects, and lay up for ourselves trea- 
sures, where no thief can steal. 

* II Cor. iv. 17. 



14 1773. 

September 26th.— On Thursday, the 23d, 
I went to pay a visit to a young woman lately 
married, with whom I have had a long inti- 
macy. Every thing around the new-married 
couple seemed to bespeak affluence, and the 
conveniences of this life were plentifully 
bestowed. Certainly, to have servants obe- 
dient to a call, and a carriage ready to at- 
tend, are agreeable conveniences ; and such 
circumstances as allow the dealing around 
us with a liberal hand, afford pleasing sen- 
sations to those who are possessed of sensi- 
bility of heart. But is not this elevation, 
too often, productive of pride ? For my 
own part, I should have reason to fear being- 
raised to such a state. A degree of self- 
sufficiency, and thinking more highly of our- 
selves for these goods of fortune, (which, in 
reality, make us no better than our fellow- 
creatures,) is apt to take place in the mind, 
and few sufficiently consider themselves as 
only stewards, accountable to their great 
Lord and Master, for all the blessings he 
bestows. 

A meaner state of life, when exempted from 
poverty, is generally less dangerous ; and 
many things we are obliged to submit to in 
such a condition, tend to humble the mind, 
and keep it in subjection. In most scenes of 



1773. 15 

life, there are pleasures sufficient to make us 
wish its continuance ; and feeling* this to be 
the case, we ought not to be desirous of 
greater temporal happiness, or ardent in its 
pursuit, knowing the necessity of having our 
affections set on things that are above, and 
being redeemed from the love of the world. 
Here we have no continuing city ; all around 
us is transient and fading. We are only as 
travellers hastening to our eternal home, and 
if the accommodations we may meet with on 
the road are not quite what we would wish, 
yet we shall shortly be free from the neces- 
sity of any of them; and we should consider, 
that if the conveniences of life were greater, 
we should be less apt to look forward to the 
end of our journey ; and, centering in present 
happiness, might quit our short-lived habi- 
tations with more regret. 

October 15th. — " In thy presence, O God, 
is fulness of joy, and at thy right hand there 
are pleasures for evermore."* In deep and 
awful silence, we are led to meditate on thy 
glorious kingdom, and feel ardent breath- 
ings of soul, that we may be made partakers 
of that blessed inheritance. Happy are those 
moments, in which we feel ourselves thus in- 

* Psalm xvi. 11. 



16 1773. 

fluenced, and drawing near to thee in spirit, 
worship before thy throne in reverential awe. 
Most gracious Being, more and more ani- 
mate me with a love of thee, and with fervent 
desires to feel my heart devoted to thy ser- 
vice. Strengthen, O Lord God, if it be thy 
will, the impressions of duty ; rouse me from 
sloth and negligence to a diligent waiting 
upon thee, and a watchful care that all may 
be done to thy glory. Let not the enticing 
pleasures of a deluding world steal my heart 
from thee, my everlasting Father ; but so 
strengthen my hands, that I may be willing 
to give up all at thy command, and knowing 
that neither father nor mother, husband nor 
children, are to be preferred before thee, run 
the race that thou hast appointed me with 
singleness of heart. O Lord God, Thou 
whose penetrating eye sees the inmost re- 
cesses of my soul, Thou knowest, that in 
the hours of serious reflection, I am desirous 
of serving thee above all, though in deep 
humility, and a feeling sense of my own 
weakness, I am led to lament that how to 
perform that which I will, I know not. As- 
sist my feeble endeavours, O gracious Father, 
and uphold me by thy power; remove every 
weight and every burden, and grant that T 
may so live, while in this tabernacle of clay, 



1773. 17 

as to look forward with a well-grounded 
hope of a glorious immortality ! 

December 22d. — I have sometimes thought 
that when the attendance of meetings for the 
worship of the Supreme Being, is accom- 
panied with inconvenience or danger, it 
serves rather as a spur to prompt us to dili- 
gence when there, that our labour and pains 
may not prove wholly in vain. A careful 
watch over the mind is as necessary for our 
final preservation, as over our actions. If 
the inside is polluted, the outside can hardly 
be kept clean ; and that disposition to ram- 
bling thoughts, which we so frequently find, 
when gathered under the pretence of inward 
worship, requires the greatest care to be 
speedily checked, otherwise, the important 
end for which we profess to be met, will not 
only be frustrated, but the hours thus neg- 
ligently passed will rise against us at the 
great day of condemnation, when we shall be 
called to an account for all those talents 
which have been committed to our care, and 
every man will receive a reward according 
to his works. 



18 1774. 



1774. 

2d, 1st Mo. — While encompassed in these 
bodies of clay, what trifling- events tend to 
discompose us ! Our happiness seems liable 
to be overset by every minute occurrence, 
and the least cross event disturbs that tran- 
quillity of mind, without which true felicity 
can never be enjoyed. Surely this life is of 
little worth, when withdrawn from the pros- 
pect of a glorious immortality. It is thy 
blest province, O Religion, to sweeten the 
bitter cup of life, smooth the rugged paths 
which we are obliged to tread, and comfort 
the soul with a lively hope, that when freed 
from these tabernacles of clay, she may soar 
aloft into the regions of a blessed eternitv. 

However discomposed, however afflicted 
we maybe, yet this hope still remains, a never- 
failing source of peace; and the mind that 
sincerely desires so to overcome every pro- 
pensity to evil, as to be accepted in the sight 
of a most holy God, will feel a renewal of 
strength to get the better of all those pas- 
sions which war against its peace, and to run 
with patience the race that is set before it. 

When we take a view of that boundless 
Eternity which awaits us, and contemplate 



1774. 19 

the glories of a celestial kingdom, we can 
scarcely forbear feeling* surprise, that a soul 
destined for such a mansion, should be liable 
to be ruffled by the insignificant things of 
this life. Yet so it is ; probably to keep us 
in that state of humility, which makes us 
sensible of the necessity of learning in the 
school of true wisdom ; and that, feeling our 
own propensity to error, we may implore 
that grace which can alone enable us to over- 
come, and depend on that Power who is all- 
sufficient, and will preserve, in every tempta- 
tion, the mind that diligently seeks counsel 
from Him. 

4th, 2d Mo. — A particular attention to the 
words of a minister, so as to imprint them 
on the memory, with a design afterwards to 
set them down in writing, I have sometimes 
thought tended to lessen the benefit that 
might otherwise be received from his minis- 
try ; the design of which is to draw the mind 
nearer to the true Minister of the Sanctuary, 
and which has often been found effectual to 
inspire with heavenly affections, and ardent 
breathings of soul to the Source of all good. 

20th, 3d Mo. — Every earthly blessing seems 
to inspire a sensible mind with a lively grati- 



20 1774. 

tude to the great Author of every gift, and 
raises an acknowledgment of our unworthi- 
ness, even of the least of his favours. Happy 
would it be, if this sensibility awakened in 
us lasting impressions, and made us diligent 
in serving so beneficent a Master. If tem- 
poral enjoyments can raise this thankfulness 
of heart, how much more gratitude ought we 
to feel for those blessings which are of in- 
finite duration, the visitations of that Power, 
which would not only conduct us through 
life, but, at the period of time, receive us into 
those mansions, where His presence causes 
the fruition of durable joy ! What shall I 
render thee, for all thy mercies ? has been the 
frequent language of my soul. A conscious- 
ness of deserving judgment rather than 
mercy, has frequently been the feeling of my 
heart, when the Lord's hand has been boun- 
tifully opened, and liberally poured forth of 
his blessings. How much shall I have to 
answer for, if I keep back that which is 
required ! If, instead of being melted with 
the fire of pure love, and brought into humi- 
liation of spirit, I remain still as gold min- 
gled with dross, shall I not have cause to 
fear that the furnace of affliction will be 
heated seven times hotter than its usual heat ; 
or that my heart will become as stone, which 



1774. 21 

increases its hardness by the heat of the 
same furnace, which melts and purifies the 
gold ? 

27th, 3d Mo. — Hearing some persons men- 
tion that their preference of silent meetings 
was increasing, I was led to consider the 
happiness of having bread in our own houses, 
and water in our own cisterns ; when we need 
not the help of man, but can worship, in aw- 
ful silence, the Father of spirits, in spirit and 
in truth. For my own part, I feel at present 
far from this desirable attainment; clouds and 
darkness seem to overshadow me. In this 
state of mind, outward help is frequently be- 
neficial : and if the spring lies deep, and we 
have no strength to dig, the joint labour of 
others assists us in coming to that refresh- 
ment which we know not how to obtain. 
Nevertheless, I am well convinced, that a 
dependance on outward help will avail us 
nothing. If we are nourished by the bread 
of life, it must be by sinking deep into our 
own hearts, and experiencing the living pow- 
erful word to be near us, which will guide 
us into all truth. We are too apt to let a 
careless negligence take hold of our minds 
when assembled together for the purpose of 
worship; instead of keeping them diligently 



22 1774. 

fixed on the supreme Author of our being, 
and endeavouring- to wait in the silence of 
all flesh, to hear that inspeaking word which 
would not only show us our states and 
conditions, and inform us what we ought 
to do ; but, in his own good time, prepare 
a sacrifice acceptable to himself, and cause 
us to rejoice in the overshadowings of his 
love. 

18th, 9th Mo.— The duty of many of us lies 
very much in scenes of active life, and va- 
rious occupations may take up a considerable 
part of our time; but in this hurry and bustle, 
without setting apart proper seasons for re- 
tirement, the mind is very apt to get bewil- 
dered, and too often settles in a false rest. 
We are ready to adopt opinions that are 
suited to our inclinations, without sufficiently 
examining their tendency, and occupy our- 
selves beside the proper business ; or suffer our 
minds to be engrossed by such things as make 
work only for repentance. This I at times 
experience to be my own case, and though I 
would by no means make the path of virtue 
appear dismal or gloomy, yet, I confess, I 
could never yet find it to be strewed with 
honeysuckles and roses, but have been rather 
inclined to embrace the saying of our Sa- 



1774. 23 

viour to his disciples ; " In the world ye shall 
have tribulation," but in me peace.* Great 
part of our happiness, while in this present 
state of being, arises from a well-grounded 
hope of a glorious immortality; and though 
we are to receive with thankfulness the va- 
rious undeserved blessings that are bestowed 
upon us in terrestrial things, yet the uncer- 
tainty of their duration makes it improper 
that we should set our affections on them; 
but using the things of this world as not abus- 
ing them, we should endeavour to maintain 
an equal mind in prosperity or adversity, and 
with humble resignation of heart, say, " Thy 
will, O God, not mine be done :" trusting 
that all things will work together for our 
good, and being anxiously solicitous about 
nothing, but that we may be established in 
righteousness, and gain admittance into that 
kingdom which will never end. 

I have considered the very dangerous situa- 
tion of those who step before their guide- 
and have been earnestly solicitous that such 
sin might not be laid to my charge. Darkness 
is likely to overwhelm them : and though for 
a time the warmth of imagination may carry 
them on, without their perceiving that they 

* John, xvi. 33. 






24 1774. 

have outrun their leader, yet they will soon 
find the necessity of his guidance, and having 
lost him, will not know which way to take. 
Though I have nothing of this sort to up- 
braid myself with, yet I have some reason to 
fear that I may have fallen into the contrary 
extreme, and instead of walking in the bright- 
ness of that light which is as a lantern to 
direct our steps, have loitered so far behind, 
as scarcely to be able to behold its glimmer- 
ings. Though I ever judge this to be the 
safer state, yet I have felt it prejudicial to 
the health of the soul ; and though " he that 
believeth shall not make haste,"* yet neither 
must he suffer a lingering disposition to pre- 
vail, and stay so far behind his light, as to 
endanger its clearness being lessened. 

2d, 10th Mo.—" As I have lived, so I shall 
close, with the most unshaken assurance 
that we have not followed cunningly-devised 
fables, but the pure, living, and eternal sub- 
stance." These expressions of S. Fother- 
gill, brought to my mind sentiments that 
have often occurred, respecting our faith 
being strengthened by the assurance of a de- 
parting friend ; who can testify, that the way 
to arrive at a glorious immortality, is by 

* Isaiah, xxviii. 16. 



1774. 25 

taking heed, and diligently attending to that 
light, or inward manifestation of the Divine 
will, which is given us to direct our steps. 
Few of us, who seriously consider our latter 
end, can pass through this probationary 
state, without some seasons of doubt and 
anxiety. The fear of being led by a false 
light, or thinking those things essential 
which are not so, will sometimes prevail; 
and, from beholdingthe variety of sentiments 
in the world, we are ready to halt between 
two opinions, instead of giving up implicitly 
to divine instructions. But when we consi- 
der the end of those who have most dili- 
gently given themselves up to follow that 
which they believed to be their duty; their 
pleasing reflections on every instance of 
obedience, and satisfaction from having 
acted to the best of their knowledge, it seems 
to inspire us with resolution to pursue 
the same conduct, and to run with cheer- 
fulness and alacrity the race which is set 
before us. 

Though my mind seems, at times, enve- 
loped in darkness, and thick clouds gather 
all around, yet can I, from a degree of expe- 
rience, close in with the above sentiments, 
that in obeying that inward teacher, the light 
of truth, I have not followed cunningly-de- 

c 



26 1774. 

vised fables, but have felt that peace which 
is an earnest of acceptance with God. O that 
my mind were but more diligently engaged, 
to seek this Divine light, and to be guided 
by it, in every action of life ! 

However easy and negligent we may be 
in the days of health and prosperity, yet, in 
the days of adversity, keen reflections will 
take place; and when stretched on the bed 
of sickness we shall count all but as dross in 
comparison of gaining Christ; of having an 
assurance, that when this tabernacle of clay 
is dissolved, we shall obtain an admittance 
into his kingdom. Then it is, when divested 
of all earthly enjoyments, we behold things 
in their true light; we perceive the little- 
ness and vanity of every thing here, and are 
convinced that the only object worth our 
earnest pursuit, is that blessedness which 
shall be hereafter. I often think, if we did 
but use as much diligence to make our call- 
ing and election sure, as many of us employ 
in settling our worldly affairs, we should not 
be so much unprepared for our final period. 
But the mind of man is apt to busy itself 
about trifles, whilst things of real import- 
ance remain unnoticed. We fix our eyes on 
those things that nearly surround us, without 
being sufficiently attentive to prepare for the 



1775. 27 

time of our dissolution, which we are gene- 
rally inclined to behold as afar off. 



1775. 

I have often been made sensible that there 
is a spirit which giveth life, and whose in- 
fluence sweetens every bitter cup. However 
I may have sometimes feared a delusion of the 
mind, and that there was presumption in be- 
lieving a secret union with the Divine Spirit 
to be at times felt ; yet an impression, of which 
at other times we are powerfully sensible, 
seems to bring its own evidence that the Lord 
thus graciously condescends ; and we are then 
animated to worship him in spirit and in truth. 
If this be enthusiasm, it is such an enthusiasm 
as I wish to feel, and I rejoice in those sea- 
sons as festival days of Zion. If they are all 
a delusion, on what is our faith founded ? 
The Scriptures abound with testimonies to 
this Divine inspiration, and the New Testa- 
ment clearly enforces that there can be no 
acceptable worship, but that which is in- 
fluenced by the Divine Spirit, through the 
power of the Holy Ghost operating on our 
minds, of which we are made partakers 
through the sanctifying blood of a Redeemer, 



28 1775. 

who died for our sins, that fallen man might 
a^ain be raised unto life. It is alone by faith 
in him that we can be cleansed from our sins: 
by giving way to his power we shall be per- 
fected in all holiness, and be at last received 
into his glorious kingdom. 

5th, Mix Mo.— u Into thine hand," O Lord. 
" I commit my spirit."* This is the frequent 
language of the truly humbled soul, with ar- 
dent desires that He, who can alone guide us 
aright, would condescend to behold us with 
an eye of tender compassion, and conduct us 
safely through this vale of doubt and anxiety. 
O Lord, look down upon us, and help us. 
We are wholly unable of ourselves to per- 
form any good word or work; assist us, we 
beseech thee, in this our pilgrimage, and 
make us willing, yet more and more, to de- 
vote ourselves to thy service. " Into thine 
hand, I commit my spirit;" deal with me ac- 
cording as thou wilt; lead me through the 
valley of tears, and into the deepest scenes 
of humiliation, if they are necessary to purify 
my soul. But, O gracious God, blot out my 
transgressions from before thine eyes. Assist 
me to approach thee, O Lord, in humble 
faith; and, seeing my own insufficiency, let 

* Psalm xxxi. 5. 



1775. 29 

me depend wholly on thee, who can strengthen 
us for the performance of every good word 
and work, and enable us to come up in all 
thy commandments. Let a glorious, holy 
hope that thou wilt still preserve, animate 
my drooping faith, and encourage me more 
diligently to pursue those things which make 
for peace. In the seasons of humiliation, 
thou hast set before my view the vanity of all 
worldly enjoyments ; and that there is nothing 
truly desirable, but a place in thy favour. 
More and more confirm these sentiments, 
O Father of mercies, and cause me to rejoice 
in every dispensation that draws me nearer 
to thy holy power; that, being baptised with 
thy spirit, I may bring forth fruits unto holi- 
ness, the end whereof is everlasting life. 

7th, 6th Mo. — My mind has been consi- 
derably impressed with the advice which our 
friend C. Phillips gave us, at Devonshire- 
house Meeting yesterday morning, and it has 
occasioned a query to arise, whether I have 
not myself suffered by a too great taste for 
speculative reasoning, which, there is room to 
fear, much oftener tends to darken the mind 
than to illuminate it. 

Our friend, after having exhorted us to 
' consider our ways,' and enlarged, with her 



SO 1775. 

usual clearness, on the subject, expressed a 
fear, that many were amusing themselves with 
disquisitions that tended not to profit ; en- 
tering- deeply into inquiries concerning na- 
tural things, and what was doing in the 
world; which knowledge tended to puff up 
the mind, and that people were too apt to 
clothe themselves with it. That it would 
turn to no profit in the day of affliction, and 
that we should then want something better 
to fly to. , That we had no need of Egyptian 
knowledge to instruct us in things necessary 
to salvation; and that, however we might 
despise those, and reckon them enthusiastic, 
who sought for knowledge from God, yet the 
inspiration of his spirit had declared, " A 
good understanding have all they that do His 
commandments."* That all our acquire- 
ments in natural knowledge should be under 
the direction of this superior wisdom, which 
was alone able to instruct us in the way of 
Salvation. 

Observation, and the witness in ourselves, 
may convince us that these arguments are 
drawn from solid truth. The animating, 
quickening power of the Spirit of Christ, 
operating on our minds, is that alone which 
can perfect us in the path of holiness; and 
* Psalm cxi. 10. 






J 775. 31 

all our reasonings can never bring* us to this 
heart-enlivening faith, which will enable us 
to walk in the commandments of the Lord, 
and give us that peace which no outward 
afflictions can ever take away. I have some- 
times been ready to form resolutions, that I 
would never read any thing which might 
shake my faith in an inward principle, able 
to direct; or which might lead to such rea- 
sonings as I have found to end in a wilderness 
state, a state of doubt and perplexity, not 
easily passed through. But a dread of en- 
thusiasm seems greatly to prevail over my 
mind, and to make me fearful of giving up 
sufficiently to the heavenly vision. The great 
impropriety of conduct, in some who have 
pretended to be led by inward feelings, has 
often made me fear that a deception might 
take place in my own mind; and that, under 
the apprehension of doing that which was 
required by the Supreme Being, I might be 
acting against, rather than for the truth. 
Yet something is certainly necessary, besides 
moral rectitude; neither can that be kept to, 
but through the influencing power of a su- 
perior spirit. Experience more and more 
convinces me, that what may be known of 
God is made manifest within, and that no man 
knoweth the things of God, but by the Spirit 



32 1775. 

of God. Human learning, and human know- 
ledge must all be laid low in the dust, and 
we must count every thing as loss, that hinders 
us from the saving knowledge of our Lord 
Jesus Christ; coming to him, in the humility 
and nothingness of little children, that we 
may be instructed by him, and replenished 
with that knowledge, which maketh wise 
unto salvation. 

Human knowledge, if not necessary, is yet 
beneficial to us, in our intercourse through 
life, and in that view, by no means to be dis- 
couraged ; the acquiring it is often a pleasing 
amusement and relaxation to the mind, which 
cannot be constantly employed in spiritual 
exercises, and is not necessarily engaged on 
other objects. But let us carefully remember, 
that all our powers and faculties should be 
under the direction of the best wisdom, and 
that we ought not to be exalted in our minds, 
by any acquirements, for "Knowledge pufFeth 
up, but charity edifieth."* It is the love of 
God flowing in the soul, which will enable 
us to do most good in the world, and to keep 
a conscience void of offence, towards Him and 
towards men. 

1 \thy 6th Mo. — Not to be desirous of dis- 

* 1 Cor. viii. 1. 



1775. 33 

closing the state of our minds to a brother 
or a sister, was a piece of advice Ave had given 
us this morning, for that the Lord was suf- 
ficient to counsel and guide us through every 
difficulty, or words to the same purpose. 

I have often thought that a disposition was 
apt to prevail over the mind, when oppressed 
with anxiety, to seek for outward help and 
consolation. But if we seriously consider, 
we must know that God is the Author of ail 
comfort, and that we cannot meet with suit- 
able advice or consolation, but as it is admi- 
nistered through the influence of his power. 
If our minds are truly dependant on him, 
and we are seeking the knowledge of his will, 
with full purpose of heart to come up in obe- 
dience, his light will in due time enlighten 
our minds, and we may receive instruction 
from His Spirit, in solemn, awful silence. 

Disclosing our sentiments to a friend may 
often afford present relief, but it certainly 
requires caution how we exercise this free- 
dom, lest we endeavour to shake off a burden 
designed for our profit, and by impatience 
deprive ourselves of that inward consolation, 
which we might otherwise have experienced, 
by enduring patiently the operation of the 
Lord's hand. He is certainly all-sufficient, 
but we must witness his baptizing power. 

c5 



34 1775. 

and patiently bear those burdens he inflicts. 
If the weight seem heavy, let us not com- 
plain, or be too anxious to be relieved from 
it, before the appointed time. A way has 
often been made, where we have seen no way ; 
and by walking- in humble faith, and relying 
solely on God, we shall experience his spirit 
to be near us, and to support us through 
every dispensation. " Thou shalt guide me 
with thy counsel, and afterwards receive me 
to glory."* 

[Extract from letter.^ — We need not go 
far from home, to observe a difference in cus- 
toms and manners, from those we have been 
used to in our own little circle. Let us not 
reject, as improper, every thing to which we 
have not been accustomed, nor indulge a 
blind partiality for those habits in which we 
have been trained. A difference in many 
little particulars characterises different coun- 
ties ; and where the distance is greater, these 
distinctions and singularities are likely to in- 
crease. If the people about our own spot 
excel in some things, they are in their turn 
excelled in others. Let us endeavour to 
pick out the best in all, and having deter- 
mined from judgment, rather than education, 

* Psalm lxxiii 24. 



1775. ffi 

adopt those sentiments in every circumstance 
most likely to tend to our real benefit. 
Things really indifferent, we should be ready 
to treat as such, and not be inclined to cen- 
sure, or turn to ridicule, every thing that 
corresponds not with our own old notions, 
which may too frequently be adopted from 
prejudice rather than reason. 

21th, 1th Mo. — Having just finished read- 
ing an exposition of the New Testament, 
1 was led to consider, that without care, we 
might adopt explanations contrary to the 
truth, and receive hurt, rather than benefit 
from our labours. 

There is too much of a disposition, in most 
people, to embrace tenets which they are 
zealous to maintain ; and a writer, having 
formed his own system, is much inclined to 
such explanations as may enforce it, though, 
probably, without perceiving his own par- 
tiality in the case. To understand the Scrip- 
tures aright, we have certainly need of some 
divine illumination, a ray of that spirit 
by which they are inspired. This is the 
safest and most certain guide, and will 
assuredly so enlighten us, as to explain 
every thing necessary for our salvation. But 
since those books have been translated from 



36 1775. 

one language to another, and all learned men 
do not agree in the import of the same words, 
probably some may have been translated with 
a signification different from the original, and 
convey ideas that were not intended. By 
those who have a knowledge of the ancient 
language, a dark text may sometimes have 
fresh light thrown upon it, and be rendered 
less obscure ; and the difference of opinions 
should at least have this good effect — to make 
us careful not to be over zealous about those 
things which we do not thoroughly under- 
stand. We have sufficient knowledge to 
guide us safe to the harbour of rest. The 
precepts laid down in Scripture to regulate 
our conduct, are plain, and easy to be under- 
stood. But the inquisitive mind of man is 
apt to be impertinently curious, and search 
into those matters he was not designed to 
understand. This leads to natural reason- 
ing on things that cannot be comprehend- 
ed by our natural faculties, and we get 
more and more bewildered in the mazes 
of perplexity and error. If we read 
the Scriptures with diligent attention, and 
compared one part with another, observ- 
ing the general tendency throughout the 
whole, we should often see, more plainly 
than we do, the import of many texts, which, 






1775. 37 

selected by themselves, seem hard to be un- 
derstood. 

27th, 7 th Mo. — It is good for us to be hum- 
bled under a sense of our own imperfec- 
tions ; to feel our spirits broken and contrite 
before God. We have cause to follow the 
Apostle's exhortation, to rejoice in tribula- 
tion, as it often brings us into humility of 
heart; and whatever tends to pull down self, 
should be received with thankfulness. The 
nature of man likes not to be brought low; 
and when the enemy of our souls cannot se- 
duce us to gross acts of sin, he frequently en- 
deavours to exalt us with a glorying in our 
own perfections. Spiritual pride is the worst 
of all evils that can befal us ; it sets up with a 
notion of its own holiness, and leads from that 
humility which is so essentially necessary for 
us poor dependant mortals. 

If we take a view of our own state, a mo- 
ment's serious reflection must convince us of 
our weakness. What has enabled us to es- 
cape those sins which we have escaped, but 
the goodness of God, assisting us and guard- 
ing us from evil ? Without Him, we have 
no power, no might of our own, that can 
preserve us. Surely, these considerations 
must check every approach towards pride, 



38 1775. 

and engage us earnestly to pray to be kept 
before him in the innocence of little children. 
My spirits are often bowed under the 
awful consideration of the wretched state I 
should be in, unassisted with his divine power; 
and earnest prayers ascend from the inmost 
recesses of my soul, that I may ever be pre- 
served in humility and fear. Feeling the 
natural propensity of self to desire to be 
exalted, I have frequently received with 
thankfulness those dispensations which have 
caused severe mortification, and, under the 
painful exercise of such trials, have, in deep 
humility, put up this petition from thebottom 
of my heart, that the Lord would neither let 
his hand spare, nor his eye pity, until his 
judgments had consumed every thing that 
was offensive in his sight, and the whole will 
was subjected to his power : knowing that 
though his chastisements are for the present 
not joyous, but grievous andhardtobe borne, 
yet they will work for our sanctification and 
redemption. 

Save me from myself, from that natural 
spirit that would rule within me ; and pre- 
serve me by thy power, O Lord God. Keep 
me from thinking more highly of myself than 
I ought to think. Let me see myself as thy 
penetrating eye beholds me. Bow my spirit 



1775. 39 

in deep reverence and awful fear before thee, 
and grant that I may walk in that humility, 
which holds self in no esteem, but is ever 
ready to acknowledge thee, the Author of all 
good. Search me, O Lord, and try me, prove 
me, and know my ways, and if there be any 
secret sin, do thou it away. 

±th, 8th Mo. — In a disposition to be dis- 
pleased with ourselves, we can seldom be 
much pleased with others : mutual satisfac- 
tion is necessary to render any intercourse 
really delightful; and if, in the company of 
our friends, we suffer our ideas to dwell on 
the unworthiness of ourselves, and our many 
failings, it may lead us as far from deriving 
pleasure from their conversation, as if we 
were thinking of the imperfections we might 
find in them. It is pride (at least in part) 
that leads us to this vexation of spirit ; and 
we may be permitted to fall into many little 
errors, without warning, to keep us in hu- 
mility, to show us the necessity of constant 
watchfulness, and that we cannot depend on 
being able to support ourselves for a moment. 
True humility, though it leads us to sorrow 
for our faults, and deep repentance, yet is 
opposite to vexation of spirit. It engages 
us to walk with more circumspection, and in 



40 1775. 

that fear which can alone preserve us from 
evil, but suffers no murmuring-, no complain- 
ing, nor discontent, but patiently and meekly 
endures that censure which the failing may 
deserve. It leads us to charity in our judg- 
ments of others; to put the most favourable 
construction on their actions, and to that for- 
bearance which we find so necessary in our 
intercourse through life. Cheerfulness and 
discontent, as well as many other passions, 
are exceedingly catching, and the disposition 
of the people we are with, has great influence 
over our own. This should engage us to 
cultivate a sweetness and evenness of temper, 
that we may not cause uneasiness in the bosom 
of those we love; but possessing our souls 
in patience and resignation, we shall be in- 
strumental in diffusing that calmness and 
tranquillity, which will promote the happi- 
ness of others, and which will again circulate 
through our own breasts, fraught with the 
rich reward of peace. 



6th, 8th Mo. — In the morning we went to 
meeting at Winchmore-hill, and having sat 
in silence, towards the close of the meeting- 
some of the following reflections involuntarily 
arose in my mind. I was considering the 
uncertainty of every thing in this life, and the 






1775. 41 

necessity of resignation, when it occurred to 
me, that a pettish, discontented temper might, 
from feeling disappointments and mortifi- 
cations, be induced to reject the blessings 
which Providence is willing to bestow. But 
afflictions should work patience, and not 
make us peevishly refuse those favours that 
are still permitted us. If an acquaintance 
or friend were to offer us some civility or ac- 
commodation, something that he expected 
might afford us pleasure, he would think 
himself very unkindly treated, if we morosely 
told him we would not accept of his offer 
because he might happen to want a return, at 
some future period; and would not, very 
suddenly, again make us any fresh offer of 
friendship. And must it not be equally un- 
pleasing to the Father of mercies, if we re- 
fuse those blessings he is willing to bestow, 
from no other motive but because he may 
again call for them ; and that we wish to ac- 
quire such an indifference, as to put it out of 
his power to afflict us with any temporal 
things. This is very far from arriving at 
that resigned frame of mind, which is urged 
as a necessary duty. Resignation and indif- 
ference are two very different qualities, and, 
indeed, hardly compatible with each other; 
for we can never be said to be resigned to 



42 1775. 

that, about which we are wholly indifferent. 
A confidence in the goodness of God, and be- 
lief that he permits no evil to befal us but 
for some beneficial purpose, should engage 
us cheerfully to acquiesce in all his dispen- 
sations; but since "Our thanks are cold, for 
blessings unenjoyed," and a grateful heart 
is the most acceptable tribute of praise, we 
should endeavour to cultivate a disposition 
thankfully to receive his favours, though with 
that humility and resignation which submits 
every future event to the divine disposal. 

8th, 10th Mo.— "He that doeth righteous- 
ness, is righteous, even as" God u is right- 
eous. He that committethsin is of the devil."* 
This text seemed to dwell with a lively im- 
pression on my mind, when I met with it, after 
having been considering the difference of 
faith, more peculiarly those sentiments rela- 
tive to our Saviour, and his offering of him- 
self, and the Redemption of mankind. It seems 
a mystery hid from ages and generations, and 
yet remains beyond the power of our facul- 
ties to comprehend. Wherefore that method 
was chosen by infinite wisdom, to reinstate 
lost mankind in his favour, seems to be a 
query of no importance to us to be resolved. 
* John iii. 7, 8. 




1775. 43 

We have sufficient evidence to be convinced, 
that by the transgression of Adam, a curse 
was entailed on all the human race ; and 
that, by the coming of Christ, a door was 
again opened, which effectually made way 
for their entrance into a glorious immortality. 
That this power of Christ operated before, 
as well as after his crucifixion, and that all 
who followed the dictates of an inward law, 
written in their hearts, or the more imme- 
diate commands of the Most Holy One, when 
he was pleased, in that manner, to communi- 
cate his will, will be partakers in that inhe- 
ritance, which, in these latter days, is more 
plainly revealed to be the destined portion 
of the righteous. 

But that Christ's sacrifice for sin was such 
as excluded the necessity of our endeavour- 
ing to come up in righteousness and true 
holiness ; that we may rely on his merits, and 
rest satisfied that he has done all for us, 
seems a doctrine so repugnant to reason, and 
to our apprehensions of the Divine Being, 
who is infinite perfection, and cannot behold 
sin, but with abhorrence, that it is amazing 
to me it should ever have gained ground. It 
is a faith that opens a door to every evil 
work, and destroys the whole tenor of Scrip- 
ture, which so strongly enforces the necessity 



U 1775. 

of purity of life to render us acceptable in 
the sight of the Divine Being, and gain us an 
admittance into his presence. If Christ has 
done all for us, without us, then adieu to all 
virtue and morality; nothing remains for us 
to do but to consider our present good. 
With regard to every doubtful doctrine, it 
has frequently been the sincere and fervent 
prayer of my soul, that the Lord would 
establish my faith on the right foundation, 
and open my eyes, plainly to perceive those 
things that belong to my everlasting peace. 

Considering the darkness and obscurity 
that surround us while inclosed in these te- 
nements of clay, it has often been my wish to 
be so exercised in humility, as to prevent 
judging those who think differently from 
myself, and cannot agree in the same faith ; 
more particularly such as appear to bring 
forth good fruit. I would wish to leave 
Him to judge, who sees every secret purpose 
of the soul, and I have no doubt, will take 
great compassion on those, who, though they 
may greatly err, yet sincerely desire to ap- 
prove themselves in his sight. 

Reflecting a little on my own present faith, 
or articles of belief, I was led to set down 
the summary as follows : — I believe in one 
God, Father and Maker of the universe. 



1775. 45 

and in one Lord, Jesus Christ, our Saviour 
and Redeemer. I believe in the Holy Ghost, 
which seems to me but another definition of 
the operation of the Spirit of Christ ; and 
that Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, are One. 

This I believe, because there appears un- 
doubted evidence, that these are the declara- 
tions of Truth itself; and it becomes us to 
rely on the words of the Divine Majesty, 
though the things which he declares are past 
our comprehension. I believe the things re- 
corded concerning Christ's life, death, resur- 
rection and ascension, and that He is the 
means appointed by the Father, through 
which alone, we can gain admittance into 
an everlasting kingdom. That there is a 
necessity for such a faith in him, as showeth 
itself by good works ; and that there is such 
a spiritual life, or seed sown in every heart, 
as will enable us, by submitting to its ope- 
rations, to be created anew after the image 
of Christ Jesus, in righteousness and true 
holiness. That the many evil propensities 
we feel warring within us, are consequences 
of the fallen state of man, and which we, 
of ourselves, have no power to overcome, 
but sliould still continue enslaved by them, 
without the manifestation of the power of 
Christ in our hearts enabling us to get the 



46 1775. 

better of those enemies of our peace, and so 
purifying us by the operation of his spirit, 
as to present us faultless before the presence 
of the Father. 

This is the faith which I feel sufficient 
to engage me fervently to apply to that 
power which can alone enable me to over- 
come, without considering its various dis- 
tinctions : and, though I wish to form right 
apprehensions of them, yet the inquiry seems 
hitherto rather perplexing than edifying. I 
trust, the sincere in heart will be sufficiently 
enlightened to prevent their essentially mis- 
taking their way ; that He who formed, still 
careth for them, and points out that which 
is necessary for their salvation. I desire 
rather to wait, in awful silence, for the 
inward manifestations of the Divine will, 
(which I am fully persuaded He condescends 
to afford,) and exercise myself in the per- 
formance of those virtues he requires, than 
amuse my mind with speculations on things 
which are too deep for me ; not seeking 
applause from men, but the approbation of 
my own conscience, which bears witness for 
God. This will bring more profit than the 
nicest disquisitions ; and if we carefully im- 
press on our minds the necessity of holiness, 
and the different end of the righteous and 



1775. 47 

the wicked, and endeavour to obey that mo- 
nitor within, which is a secret reprover of 
every evil work, we shall witness that Power 
to be near, which can sustain in all difficul- 
ties, and experience those reviving sensa- 
tions from the growth of a spiritual life, 
which the mere speculatist can neither com- 
prehend nor feel. 

16th, 10th Mo. — When I have considered 
the very great fondness for retirement and 
solitude which has prevailed with some of 
the most religious people, and the little re- 
lish they had for any company, I have been 
tempted to think, that if it were embraced 
on right principles, they must enjoy a state 
advanced to a near communion with God. 
For, in the common course of things, we not 
only stand in need of the assistance of each 
other, but likewise feel a want of unbending 
our minds, occasionally, in the social conver- 
sation of our friends. 

For myself, I much love a portion of re- 
tirement ; and can with pleasure spend 
three or four hours in each day, in reading, 
writing, or meditating alone. But a kind of 
stupefaction often succeeds a long solitude, 
when the mind not only becomes unfitted for 
meditation, but every employment is irk- 



48 1775. 

some. In such a state, I believe a little con- 
versation is exceedingly profitable: it gives 
fresh vigour to the mind, and again fits it 
for action. Besides, this friendly inter- 
course and exchange of ideas is a principal 
means of improving our understandings ; and 
though, in general, practised more as an in- 
nocent recreation and amusement, than for 
any other purpose, yet is often not without 
its use, even in the most important interests. 
The truly religious man who wishes little 
converse but with himself and his Maker, 
may be drawn to solitude, partly from his 
natural disposition, or, it may be, from such 
a state of inward purity, as can raise his 
mind, almost wholly, to delight itself in God. 
Though we justly call this the highest state 
of happiness, yet the chusing, contrary to 
our inclinations, a very solitary life, might 
be far from a means of bringing; us to the 
enjoyment of it; and, on the contrary, only 
fill us with a gloomy discontent, and enfeeble 
our powers, which were probably designed 
for a station of more active virtue, and a 
greater portion of the necessary business of 
life. This station, a social disposition will 
contribute to make us fill up with greater 
cheerfulness; and we should endeavour al- 
ways to think our allotted place the best for 



1775. 49 

us, unless particular motives induce us to a 
change. 

It is not adopting one or the other mode 
of life that constitutes a religious man; and 
though it is necessary that our natural incli- 
nations should be governed, yet acting in 
direct opposition to them, often subjects us 
to more temptation ; since the heart and 
affections must be subdued under a right 
spirit, as well as our outward conduct regu- 
lated. 

By laying too great a restraint upon our- 
selves in innocent indulgences, we may con- 
tract a sourness of temper before we are 
aware, and a severity of disposition which 
might lead to want of charity, and censorious- 
ness. I would by no means plead for a liberty 
not founded in truth, or for the least indul- 
gence in those things which we feel in our 
own minds a secret witness against; but, be- 
cause we see this or that particular path 
trodden by those who are far advanced in 
piety, let us not immediately conclude, that 
to arrive at the same holy state, we must 
follow them in every external step ; since 
inward holiness, or devotion of the heart to 
God, consists not in this or that outward cir- 
cumstance of life, but in having a will wholly 
given up to him, and being resigned to fol- 

D 



50 1775, 

low wherever his secret manifestation may 
lead, even though it should be in a path 
wholly untrodden before. I believe Infinite 
Wisdom sometimes sees meet to draw to 
great particularity, in the mode and conduct 
of life, individuals who are devoted to his 
service; sometimes to prove their obedience, 
or at others, more strongly to testify against 
the excessive luxuries and corruptions that 
are in the world, and which reason must ac- 
knowledge to be contrary to the spirit of God, 
and the general good of mankind. 

To attend closely to these secret instruc- 
tions is the duty of each individual ; and, 
without seeking after particularities, care- 
fully to endeavour to avoid that which is 
evil, and pursue that which is good. 

21st, 10th Mo.— The reproofs of affec- 
tionate friends are seldom levelled against 
trifles; they wish to save us from all unne- 
cessary pain, and will hardly prevail with 
themselves to run the risk of giving us the 
least disgust about those things which seem 
not essentially important to our real happi- 
ness. If we search closely into ourselves, 
we shall, many of us, find that we have a 
greater repugnance to being told of those 
defects that hardly amount to faults, than of 

• 



1775. 51 

failings of more consequence : self-love seems 
to rise more powerfully, and we are apt to 
attribute it to something else than good-will, 
when such things are mentioned. We know 
other actions to be of much more moment, 
and from making them the principal object 
of our attention, are ready to conclude that 
a degree of jealousy operates on the minds 
of those who make lesser matters the object 
of censure. But this is far from using the 
means necessary to be pursued for our bene- 
fit. Very trifling circumstances not only pre- 
possess people in our favour, but frequently 
give them a better or a worse opinion of the 
cause in which we are engaged. This being 
the case, we should endeavour to think no- 
thing beneath our notice, and to arrive at 
such an habitual circumspection, as may ena- 
ble us to perform every action well, carefully 
guarding not only against essential errors, 
but against every thing that may occasion 
prejudice or unnecessary disgust. The ob- 
servation of these lesser failings is likewise 
a means of preserving us in more humility, 
and keeping down that proud spirit, which 
is so apt to exalt itself, and draw from the 
watch-tower. 

Though we have sufficient reason to be 
humble, from the consideration of our in- 



52 1775. 

ability, of ourselves, to perform the least 
action well, yet we are apt not to dwell in 
this frame; and I have sometimes thought 
that we should rather rejoice than be angry, 
at anything that may bring us into this state 
of humiliation, and make us, in our own 
eyes, of no reputation. This state frequently 
raises strong cries in our hearts to God, that 
he would be pleased to forgive us our past 
trespasses, and more powerfully support us 
in future, that we may not be vanquished by 
the enemy. And here, we are kept in a firm 
dependance upon God; and in praying fer- 
vently for the assistance of his grace, we shall 
find a renewal of strength; and, instead of 
sinking into despair, pursue our warfare with 
fresh vigour and alacrity of mind. 

[Extract from a letter.^ — I could wish, my 
dear friend, that we may put in practice the 
advice thou gavest, in a former epistle, to be 
ready to excuse the failings of each other. 
If we expect perfection, we shall most likely 
meet with disappointment; and a disposition 
to put the most favourable construction on 
the actions of others, is frequently a means 
of promoting our own happiness. Yet, let 
not the difficulty of attaining perfection deter 
us from the pursuit; the more we endeavour 



1775. 53 

after it, the nearer we shall certainly ap- 
proach towards it, and our labours will be 
crowned with some degree of success. It is 
not often that we keep too strict a hand over 
ourselves; and if we judge our own actions 
with severity, while we deal with a lenient 
hand towards others, it will probably only 
bring us to the impartial scale of justice. 

I have sometimes heard the doctrine of 
perfection spoken of as dangerous; as tend- 
ing to puff up the mind, and make us think 
we are arrived at that state. But I could 
never see it in this light ; and I think a state 
of humility and reverent fear so essential a 
part of perfection, that a high mind is a suf- 
ficient evidence of our being far from it. 

" What hast thou that thou didst not re- 
ceive?"* must be a striking answer to every 
proud boaster, and effectually silence him. 
When we consider, that of ourselves we can 
do nothing, that even if we have done well 
one day, some temptation may be too strong 
for us the next, and that we have no safety 
but in an humble dependance upon God, one 
would think it would check every presump- 
tuous thought, and lead us to fear and trem- 
bling. I believe, the more true religion 
operates on the mind, the more it will lead 
* 1 Cor. iv. 7. 



54 1775. 

us into this state of awful fear; and, seeing 
the multitude of temptations that surround 
us, our minds will be engaged in watchful- 
ness and prayer, that we may be preserved 
through the various conflicts of time, and 
find a resting-place in an eternal habitation. 

29th, 10th Mo.— The many difficulties of 
expression that a minister, whom I sometimes 
hear with satisfaction, seemed to meet with 
this morning, have led me to reflect on the 
difficulty of the true minister in dividing the 
word aright, and not suffering it to be mixed 
with his own conceptions and imaginations. 
Surely, nothing can do, but a firm and steady 
adherence to the light of life, and a close 
attention, strictly and simply to follow its 
dictates. This must create rather a back- 
wardness in speaking; and, when it appears 
to be a duty, will necessarily occasion it to 
be performed in much humility and fear. 
Yet I have sometimes thought, that good 
motives may induce a minister to speak, with- 
out feeling himself sufficiently baptized into 
living power. When he beholds a multitude 
of sheep as without a shepherd, and seeking 
for something to direct their wandering steps, 
a heart warmed with the love of mankind 
may sometimes wish to point out the path 



1775. 55 

which would lead from the barren mountains, 
and conduct them to the fold of Christ, 
Here, I believe, self sometimes may get 
uppermost, and that work may be set about 
in his own will, which can only be truly pro- 
fitable, when performed under the direction 
of our supreme Head. But I would en- 
deavour to guard against too freely judging ; 
there may be those who are ministers on the 
right foundation, who may be permitted to 
feel themselves at a loss when the word of 
command has been given, with a design to 
keep them in humility, and preserve them 
from a confidence in self. Besides, the dif- 
ference of disposition which we find in our- 
selves should lead us to caution, lest Our 
want of unity with what is said, should pro- 
ceed wholly from the deficiency in our own 
state, and our incapacity forjudging aright. 
Speaking to others is certainly an awful 
and important work; the desire of applause 
from men must be entirely laid aside, and 
ministers must seek only to approve them- 
selves before God. The natural propensity 
to follow their own judgments, and contrive 
the most proper times and seasons when to 
speak or be silent, must be conquered; and 
they must endeavour to preserve a clean 
vessel, that it may be ready for the Master's 



56 1775. 

use ; it can only be truly serviceable in his 
hand, and when he is pleased to pour into 
it of the water of life, with the commission 
to distribute to others. I have frequently 
thought that the business of true ministers 
was like that of the rest of the people; not 
to attend to things outward, but endeavour 
to draw the mind into a patient, humble 
waiting upon God, that he may show us our 
own states, and our own insufficiency, and 
enable us to perform acceptable worship to 
Him, in the secret of our souls. In this 
frame of mind, without meditating on the 
state of others, or querying whether they 
can say any thing tending to their benefit, if 
they find present duty calls to reprove or 
advise, there is better certainty of its being 
influenced by the divine spring, and that it 
will flow pure and uncorrupted, to the be- 
nefit of the hearers. But where a contrary 
disposition takes place, and that contemplat- 
ing the depravity of many, is more their busi- 
ness than deeply entering into their own 
state, there is danger of suggestions arising 
from past experience, or that something will 
occur, which may be concluded to be de- 
signed for the benefit of those who seem 
farther from the divine life. This, it is 
to be feared, will not bring their hearers 



1775. 57 

to that state of humble contrition, and hun- 
gering* and thirsting after righteousness, 
which can alone truly profit the soul. The 
hearing with pleasure moral truths, may 
rather contribute to make them more satisfied 
with their own state, without seeking an 
entrance into the holy of holies, where the 
Minister of the sanctuary would speak con- 
vincingly to their souls. 

16^, 12th Mo. — We can hardly pass a day 
without meeting with some occurrence which 
convinces us of the necessity of keeping a 
constant guard over our words and actions. 
A calm command over ourselves in every 
scene, is exceedingly desirable; it should be 
our constant endeavour to acquire it: but 
we are too apt to let a warmth of temper 
arise at the misconduct of others, or even at 
their entertaining opinions different from 
ourselves; hence arise argument and contra- 
diction ; which are but seldom accompanied 
with that meekness which leads to the disco- 
very of truth. 

We may sometimes hear it pleaded in 
favour of warm and hasty people, that we 
see the worst of them, and that their passion 
having vented itself, is entirely over. This, 
I believe, may be the case; but how badly is 

d5 



58 1775, 

it over! By making themselves appear ridi- 
culous, and by showing their want of com- 
mand over themselves, convincing beholders 
how little they are able to instruct others. 
Besides, every indulgence of improper tem- 
pers, does but increase the propensity to them. 
Those who appear more calm, have, I be- 
lieve, sometimes an equal war within them- 
selves, and it may be longer before the 
conflict is over. But as we shall readily ac- 
knowledge the propriety, and even necessity, 
of having our passions under subjection, we 
should endeavour to use those means most 
likely to accomplish it. This, we shall find, 
will not be by the least indulgence ; the first 
motives to anger must be checked, if we 
would root it from our breasts. And for this 
purpose, the most effectual way is to lay a 
great restraint on the tongue, and not suffer 
it to plead those reasons which are urged by 
passion. If we allow our passions to disturb 
nobody but ourselves, we shall be more solici- 
tous to get the better of them, than if we some- 
times use them as weapons against others; 
and those who take a frequent and serious 
review of their conduct, will have deeply to 
regret any circumstance in which they have 
suffered their minds to be inflamed, or been 
led to expressions which were contrary to the 



1775. 59 

meekness and quietness of spirit becoming 
all those who profess themselves Christians, 
and essentially necessary for such as wish to 
possess their souls in peace. 

Every disturbance of the kind greatly un- 
fits us for religious duties. The mind cannot 
readily compose itself, after being much 
ruffled, and we seldom regain tranquillity 
but by the door of repentance. In our inter- 
course with others, a degree of conscious 
shame must fill every mind not lost to sensi- 
bility, from the consideration of errors it has 
committed ; and these are feelings that can 
never be experienced without pain. In short, 
every thing seems to urge us to acquire en- 
tire command over ourselves ; every view, 
both for time and eternity, warns us of the 
necessity of attaining this calm tranquillity. 
We must guard against committing faults, 
if we would avoid the sorrow of repent- 
ance ; and by keeping a constant watch over 
every suggestion of our own minds, we shall 
not only receive strength to resist tempta- 
tions to impropriety of outward conduct, 
but in due time be enabled to overcome 
every secret sin. But if, because we find we 
cannot at present command our minds, we 
neglect to pay a strict attention to our out- 
ward conduct, we shall be daily losing ground, 



60 1775. 

and omitting many little conquests, which 
were within our power ; the strength of our 
enemy will increase as our own diminishes, 
and we shall be in danger of being van- 
quished instead of becoming conquerors. 

25th, \2th Mo. — Suffer us to beseech thee, 
O Lord, more and more to enlighten us with 
divine knowledge, and having made us sensi- 
ble of thy will, enable us to obey it. 

Increase our faith, O Lord, that we may 
firmly rely on thy goodness and thy power, 
and rest in full assurance that a sincere en- 
deavour to please thee will not be in vain. 
Bring down every proud thought and lofty 
imagination, and effectually convince us, 
that all our powers and faculties are thy 
gift, and must be devoted to thy service. 
Lead us to true humility and self-abasement, 
that we may approach the throne of thy in- 
finite Majesty with awful reverence and fear ; 
and wholly depending on thee, implore thy 
compassionate regard, and that thou wouldst 
be pleased to afford us strength to come up 
in the discharge of those duties which thou 
requirest. Thus, O Lord, may we, to the 
best of our abilities, glorify thee whilst here 
on earth, and receive such evidences of ac- 
ceptance with thee, as will give a well- 



1776. 61 

grounded hope of being admitted into thy 
presence hereafter. 

1776. 

8th, 1st Mo. — We are sometimes tempted 
to complain of the shortness of time, whilst 
yet we feel various portions of it hang heavy 
on our hands. When oppressed with lan- 
guor or sickness, or our minds discomposed 
by any occurrences, we wish hastily to pass 
over that period, or even strike it from our 
allotted time of existence. These sensations 
will gain great strength in the minds of 
those who are ardently engaged in the pur- 
suit of terrestrial happiness ; they are dis- 
posed to repine at every thing that gives a 
check to their present enjoyments, and mur- 
mur at the dispensations of that Being, who 
has seen meet, in his infinite wisdom, so to 
order things here, as may convince us that 
this is not the place of our rest, and engage 
us to look forward to a station of more 
durable happiness. 

Every temporal pursuit is liable to disap- 
pointment ; and if we gain the object of our 
wishes, we frequently find that it adds no- 
thing to our real felicity. 

The endeavour to acquire a great fund of 



62 1776. 

knowledge, which seems as rational an amuse- 
ment as any in which the human mind cart 
be engaged, is attended with the same mor- 
tifications, and too often proceeds from im- 
moderate vanity, and a desire to be crowned 
with those laurels, which are of no use to 
the wearer. 

If we consider the end of deep learning 
and extensive knowledge, of what benefit 
in general are they to the possessor, or 
others ? The researches of some into natural 
things may have benefited mankind, with 
regard to their present state of existence ; 
but if we were able to speak of things, u from 
the cedar tree that is in Lebanon, to the 
hyssop that springeth out of the wall," and 
" of beasts, and of fowl, and of creeping 
things, and of fishes,"* we should, at last, 
be brought to the conclusion of him, whose 
wisdom excelled the wisdom of all the chil- 
dren of the east country, and of Egypt; 
that all beneath the sun is vanity and vexa- 
tion of spirit. 

I once greatly thirsted after knowledge, 
and mean not now to discard it as entirely 
useless ; but I would bring it to that state of 
subordination, which is its proper place, 
and carefully remember those expressions of 

* I Kings, iv.133. 






1776. 63 

the Apostle, " Knowledge puffeth up, but 
charity edifieth."* When the mind is deeply 
engaged in study, we are too apt to neglect 
many of the duties of life, and are elevated 
with the thoughts of our own importance; 
but the love of God diffusing itself over the 
soul, engages us to walk before him in hu- 
mility and fear, desirous that all our actions 
may be well pleasing in his sight. 

When we feel this love strongly implanted 
in our breasts, and consider ourselves as 
beings who may shortly be called from this 
state of existence, to be placed either in 
eternal happiness or misery, we can no longer 
look with strong desires after any temporal 
attainment, and shall count every thing but 
as dross in comparison of winning Christ, 
through whom alone we can gain an estab- 
lishment in divine favour. This is the pearl 
of great price, which it is worth while to sell 
all to obtain ; this, the one thing needful, 
which will stand us in stead, when all the 
pomps and vanities of this world shall come 
to an end. 

The prospect of a glorious futurity ena- 
bles us to pass, with calmness, through the 
various conflicts of time. While we consider 
this as only a state of probation, through 

* I Cor. viii. 1. 



64 1776. 

which we must pass, to arrive at durable 
happiness, it lessens the disposition to mur- 
mur or complain ; we can bear with forti- 
tude the shocks of adversity, and are not 
elevated by prosperity, but are rather en- 
gaged in fervent desires that all may work 
together for good; and that our souls may 
be so purified, as to be fitted for celestial 
habitations. 

26th, 1st Mo. — We should not too hastily 
attribute that to neglect, or want of affection, 
which may proceed from other causes ; there 
may be secret springs of action, to which we 
cannot penetrate, and we shall only add to 
our own disquiet, by expecting too much 
from our friends. Vexation and disappoint- 
ment seem united to every thing earthly. 
There is no stability in any human enjoy- 
ments, and some bitter seems mingled with 
almost every sweet. These reflections should 
not lead us to discontent at our present 
situation ; but rather to seek diligently an 
establishment in righteousness, that we may 
be made partakers of a glorious immor- 
tality. 

There are times, in which we feel that no- 
thing here is capable of satisfying an im- 
mortal soul ; in which even the most rational 



1776. 65 

and pleasing enjoyments lose their relish, 
and we can derive comfort from nothing 
but a sense of the Divine favour. It is, I 
believe, the experience of many of us, that 
afflictions and mortifications tend to increase 
this hunger and thirst after spiritual food. 
This should lead us to patient resignation 
under every trial, and to acquiesce in 
every thing that may be a divine appoint- 
ment. 

If we seem left without any human friend, 
yet,^ve have a never- failing one in the Su- 
preme Being, who sometimes sees meet to 
deprive us of this world's comforts and con- 
solations, that we may be drawn nearer to 
himself, and place our dependance wholly 
and solely on him. Let us rather look with 
an eye of faith towards him, believing that 
all things will work together for good to 
those who sincerely love him, than indulge 
a disposition to repine at any of his dispen- 
sations. 

Things which appear to our present un- 
happiness and disadvantage, have frequently 
at a future period proved a benefit, and we 
have been led to acknowledge that the Lord 
only knows what is best for us. These con- 
siderations of our weakness and incapacity, 
afford an instructive lesson of humility, and 



66 1776. 

should engage us to put up fervent suppli- 
cations to the Most High. Not my will, O 
Lord, but thine be done ! 

3d day, evening, — What a melancholy 
event is the departure of A. G. ! Such a 
flower nipped in the height of its bloom, 
hurried off with rapidity from a state of health 
and strength, seems to strike us with the most 
forcible impression. The aged and the infirm 
leave the stage of life comparatively unno- 
ticed ; their departure was expected :# but 
here we seem struck with the thought, that 
the same quick transition, from time to eter- 
nity, may be next our portion ; and how we 
are prepared for that awful period, is a con- 
sideration that naturally takes place in every 
reflecting mind. We can often look with 
calmness on death at a distance, whilst we 
yet shudder at its near approach. Too often 
these warnings are but like a transient 
shower ; they soften for a short time, and then 
our hearts return again to their former neg- 
ligence and insensibility. The cry of Lord, 
Lord! the desire to be prepared is soon ut- 
tered ; but to come up in obedience to his 
will, and walk with that care and circumspec- 
tion which is necessary; this is the task 
hard to be performed; the warfare which 






1776. 67 

we have need to pray for strength to accom- 
plish. 

28th, Mi Mo. — As I was meditating on va- 
rious subjects, my mind was led to reflect on 
the happiness of that soul whose dependance 
is upon God, and who, walking before him 
with integrity, can look with confidence to- 
wards the mountain of his holiness. A calm 
seems to cover the mind, while treading in 
the path of simple obedience, beyond what 
words can express; it enjoys that serenity 
which diffuses itself in measure on every thing 
surrounding it, and contemplating the Author 
of all good, ascends towards his presence with 
the incense of grateful praise. 

How little are these sensations experienced 
by those whose minds are perplexed with 
doubt; who, from endeavouring to penetrate 
into things beyond their depth, and searching 
into mysteries not designed to be revealed 
to the human understanding, lose themselves 
in the labyrinth of uncertainty ; and yet, 
puflfed up with their acquirements in human 
wisdom, cannot return to a child-like state, 
and submit to be guided by that principle, 
which too often appears contemptible in their 
eyes ! O, human wisdom, how little art thou 
worth, when put in competition with that 



68 1776. 

divine Wisdom which leads to purity and 
peace ! 

Preserve me, O Lord, in humble fear be- 
fore thee, is the frequent petition of my soul. 
Let me not be tempted to transgress thy law, 
by an improper thirst after the tree of know- 
ledge ; but considering my own weak state, 
and the necessity of thy guidance and protec- 
tion, without impertinent inquiries into the 
reason why things are so, or so, endeavour 
to make obedience my first object, and to 
walk in thy commandments, the delight of 
my soul. 

7th, 7th Mo. — At meeting this morning we 
were much disturbed by a friend not in unity 
as a minister, who would not be persuaded 
to keep silence. As his moral character is 
good, the circumstance led me to reflect on 
the danger of being deluded by false appear- 
ances, and the necessity of keeping in an 
humble frame of mind. 

What did Peter's great confidence in his 
own strength do for him ? It saved him not 
from most shamefully denying his Lord and 
Master, after all his assurances to the con- 
trary. His fall should be a caution to us ; 
and not only so, but considering how liable 
we are to be deceived in our opinions of 



1776. 69 

ourselves, should lead us to caution and dis- 
trust, and a disposition to submit our own 
judgment to that of others, in what concerns 
them as well as ourselves. Meekness and 
humility are characteristics of the disciples 
of Christ; and great confidence in the pro- 
priety of our own conduct, and persuasion 
that we are above the reproof of men, are 
sure signs of our being in a very dangerous 
state, if not already entangled in the snares 
which Satan has been laying to catch our 
souls. 

Those who are acting on a right founda- 
tion, will be rather inclined patiently to sub- 
mit their cause to God, than enter into the 
spirit of opposition ; not doubting, that if he 
has really called them into service, he will, 
in due time, cause his witness to reach the 
hearts of those who now oppose them. 

Sth, 7 th Mo. [Extract from a letter^. — 
Many reflections arose in my mind on reading 
my dear 's last kind favour. Her senti- 
ments have since been subjects for meditation, 
particularly concerning human knowledge, 
which, in its various branches, might occupy 
an unreasonable portion of our time. If we 
look only on another world, every thing may 
be deemed useless, which does not tend to 



70 1776. 

prepare us for that eternal abode. But when 
I consider the various beauties of creation, 
and the many blessings we enjoy whilst here, 
it rather gives room to believe that we may 
be permitted to gather some flowers in our 
way, and amuse ourselves with their beauty 
and fragrancy, so long as we keep the end of 
our journey in view, and consider that as 
what ought to be the principal object of our 
attention. In this light I have considered 
every walk into the fields of natural know- 
ledge, and I believe that the discoveries made 
therein have been sometimes beneficial to 
our present state, as well as kept the youth- 
ful mind from temptations, which would 
have had a more pernicious influence. 

Speculations on the mysterious govern- 
ment and providence of God, I have ever 
considered as much more dangerous ; fre- 
quently productive of scepticism, and a loss 
of that faith, which is as an anchor to the 
soul, supporting it under all the vicissitudes 
of this present life, and animating it with the 
glorious hope of a happy immortality. From 
whatever source may have been the origin of 
evil, or for whatever end it may have been 
permitted by Him who has all power, I firmly 
believe were not designed to be the objects 
of our inquiry ; and, however some specu- 



1776. 71 

lative minds may be buried in these things, 
yet observation may convince us, that they 
diminish, rather than add to their happiness, 
make them in general less fitted for social 
life, and sometimes worse than useless mem- 
bers of society. 

There is not a doubt with me, that our 
felicity both here and hereafter will be in- 
creased, by regulating our conduct accord- 
ing to that revelation which Infinite Wisdom 
has thought fit to communicate, without per- 
plexing our minds about that which is sealed 
mystery, and which must remain so, in spite 
of all our endeavours to unfold it. 

Those internal feelings of the mind which 
lead us to a sensibility of His goodness, 
and the near communion we may have with 
the Author of our being, are more desirable 
than the acquirement of all knowledge ; and 
I have frequently been inclined to adopt the 
language of one of our ministers, when speak- 
ing on similar subjects, " If this be enthu- 
siasm, it is such an enthusiasm as I wish to 
feel." To arrive at this happy sensibility, 
nothing can be too dear to part with : all 
that we have, or can have, it is worth our 
while to give for the purchase of this inward 
peace ; an assurance that we dwell near our 
Maker, and are the objects of his regard -. 



72 1776. 

for, to dwell near Him, implies a state of the 
most exalted felicity. 

Whilst we believe in the operation of His 
power on our minds, we shall act inconsis- 
tently in not readily giving up any thing he 
may require at our hands. Obedience, in 
small things, is more acceptable than a larger 
offering according to our own wills ; and if 
he sees our affections particularly engaged in 
that which may be otherwise innocent, I 
believe he frequently requires the sacrifice of 
it, at the same time that it may be allowed 
to other individuals. The difference of dis- 
positions makes the path necessarily nar- 
rower for some, than others ; some tempers 
are so untractable, that they require a very 
tight rein, whilst others may, without preju- 
dice, be allowed more liberty. 

I cannot quite agree with thee in thy ap- 
plication of the text concerning Zaccheus, 
though I know many of our friends have 
taken it in the same light. From the simple 
narration, I see no room to draw an inference 
of any particular height of mind; he seemed 
guided by the impulse of curiosity solely, 
when he ran before, and climbed the syca- 
more tree ; and as his design was only to see 
and know our Lord, it required no hesitation 
to obey the call of coming down immediately 



1776. 73 

when he found he should have so much bet- 
ter opportunity of being gratified by his 
intending to become his guest. I may be 
wrong in my apprehensions, or not sink deep 
enough into the text; but this interpretation 
no way invalidates the argument for the ne- 
cessity of humility, and coming down from 
every aspiring thought, before we can be fit 
to receive the Saviour of mankind. 

I hardly know what to think of thy opinion 
respecting the equality of the sexes. Though 
male and female are all one, in respect to 
the gifts of the spirit, and their entrance into 
futurity, yet a degree of subordination while 
here, seems strongly enforced; and, consi- 
dering the different stations we have to fill 
up in life, may tend to the greater union of 
the whole body, and be more for our edifica- 
tion, if we do but act with propriety in our 
different allotments. The word obey sounds 
harsh, but I believe it is a duty on our part, 
in every thing where a higher command does 
not interfere ; and if we began to look on the 
men as our equals, rather than superiors, we 
should find a much stronger repugnance in 
ourselves to the fulfilling this precept. Too 
many of us want to learn a submission of 
will, and to be governed by that meek and 



74 ■ 1776. 

quiet spirit which the apostle Peter recom- 
mends as the proper adornment of a woman. 

12th, 7 th Mo. — Whilst at meeting this 
morning, and much buried in a variety of 
earthly thoughts, the call of (I think I may 
say) a deeply baptized minister, seemed to 
rouse me from my lethargy, by desiring us 
to take a retrospective view of ourselves, and 
consider the situation of our minds, in the 
day of our first espousals. The doctrine 
seemed to come home to myself; and a pain- 
ful review passed my mind. Oh, the preva- 
lence of earthly things, was the secret cry of 
my soul, accompanied with sincere desires to 
be delivered from this bondage, and again 
illuminated with a ray of that divine light 
which once shone with more distinguished 
lustre. 

A progress in spiritual things can only be 
witnessed by steady adherence to this light ; 
and we must not sluggishly lie still, in expec- 
tation of having our fetters broken, but 
exert that strength which is afforded us, to 
gain our own releasement from the snares of 
sin and Satan ; in which state of conflict we 
shall not fail to receive such assistance as 
will enable us entirely to overcome. 



1776. 75 

The world has got too strong hold of us 
as a people, as well as others. We are 
deeply buried in the earth, and earthly con- 
cerns ; and though some of us may have 
broken the more obvious fetters of sin and 
Satan, yet we cannot sufficiently withdraw 
from temporal things, but bestow an im- 
proper portion of our time in the various 
cares and pursuits in which Martha was en- 
gaged ; neglecting first to seek the one thing- 
needful, and repose our confidence in God, 
trusting that all others necessary for us will 
be added. 

But much of this faith is wanting. We 
busy ourselves beside the proper business, 
and are anxious about that which is very 
little in our own power. Oh, how I long to 
be redeemed from this slavery, and expe- 
rience that glorious liberty which makes free 
indeed ! 

3d, 9th Mo. — In the hours of serious medi- 
tation, I am often led to reflect on the neces- 
sity there is for us to keep a constant guard 
over ourselves, and pray that we may receive 
strength to resist the many temptations that 
are daily occurring, in the common course of 
our lives. 

We are frequently overcome by trifling 



76 1776. 

temptations, when those that appear more 
powerful have been presented without effect. 
Whence can this arise, but from a want of 
that watchfulness which we have seen to be 
necessary on more important occasions? In 
a state of ease and tranquillity, we sometimes 
too readily conclude that we can withstand 
this or the other assault; but if we consider 
how often we have been vanquished in small 
skirmishes, or taken by surprise by the enemy, 
it would lead us to great distrust of ourselves, 
and to keep a vigilant watch against every 
attack. My own experience daily convinces 
me more and more of the necessity of this 
constant watchfulness. 

If we look only at the gloomy side of 
things, we shall be in great danger of being 
soured by discontent : all that partake of 
life, must partake of its various draughts ; 
and the bitter as well as sweet must be their 
mingled portion. Let us rather then, re- 
ceive with thankfulness those blessings with 
which we are favoured, than repine at the 
want of some comforts which Providence has 
seen meet to withhold. We have most of us 
cause to put the query to ourselves, " How 
much owest thou to my Lord?"* We may- 
trace his abundant goodness, notwithstand- 
* Luke, xvi. 5. 



1T76. 77 

ing our own unworthiness and manifold 
transgressions, and with the sense of unme- 
rited favours, have cause for being bowed in 
reverent, awful thankfulness, desiring to ren- 
der the tribute of a grateful heart. More 
and more, O Lord, impress me with these 
humbling sensations. Let me reflect how 
much thou hast bestowed, and how little I 
deserve, and with the sense of the many obli- 
gations I am under to thee, enable me to 
walk before thee in filial love and fear. 

13th, 9th Mo.— u Unto the pure, all things 
are pure."* As this text has much dwelt on 
my mind, I have been led to consider the 
necessity of inward purity, and the great 
happiness attending such a state. It would 
save us much trouble and anxiety about 
many trifling events which now greatly dis- 
compose us; and we should feel that serenity 
of mind which arises from a consciousness of 
endeavouring to have our thoughts, as well 
as actions, under the guidance of the Spirit 
of Truth. Here we find solid satisfaction; 
and though sorrow may be our portion, from 
outward circumstances, yet can we rejoice 
under a sense of divine favour. If we rightly 
considered, we should find it well worth our 
* Titus, i. 15. 



78 1776. 

while to endeavour after this inward purity. 
While discord reigns within, and various 
passions are rising in our breasts, an out- 
ward harmony of conduct can hardly be pre- 
served ; but if the inside be clean, the out- 
side will be clean also. If we sincerely de- 
sired to please God, we should be as soli- 
citous to keep our thoughts unpolluted, as 
we are to preserve a fair outside to the 
world; knowing that his eye searches the 
most secret recesses, and that he beholds, 
with displeasure, every thing that is impure. 
Whilst we are sincerely aspiring after rec- 
titude, and keeping our eye singly to the 
Lord, we can look with confidence towards 
him under every dispensation, and shall re- 
ceive strength to support, with patience and 
fortitude, any trials we may have to en- 
counter. But if we are indulging a vain 
imagination, or giving way to that which we 
perceive to be contrary to the manifestations 
of truth, we lose that hope which is as an 
anchor to the soul, and have to tread in the 
paths of lamentation and woe. 



1777. 79 



1777. 

14£/*, 1st Mo. — " Except a man be born 
again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." * 

This text has given rise to various senti- 
ments and conjectures, some of which have 
had no happy influence on the mind. 

A few thoughts occur to me, on the impro- 
priety of supposing (as many have done) that 
, regeneration is an instantaneous work, of 
which we are sensible at the time ; and from 
a state of death and darkness, feel ourselves 



translated into the kingdom of life and light, 
born of that incorruptible seed which is to 
inherit the promise. 

By the fall of Adam, we lost that glo- 
rious state in which we were at first created ; 
but through a Redeemer we maybe restored 
again to happiness and glory. Now, as our 
Lawgiver has thought proper to compare 
this restoration to a second birth, I have been 
led to consider that, according to his simile, 
it is impossible we should be instantaneously 
sensible of it, as some have imagined. With 
regard to the natural life, we find that we 
are born, but we neither know when nor how ; 
we feel that we have got a little strength, be- 

* John, iii. 3. 



80 1777. 

fore we begin to consider what we are. May 
we not suppose it so, spiritually ? We feel 
something- within us of a spiritual nature ; 
but we at first scarcely know what it is, or 
how it came there. If we treat it properly, 
it will, like our natural bodies, increase in 
strength ; but if otherwise, it will never 
thrive ; and though it cannot totally die, 
that is, be annihilated, yet it will be sepa- 
rated from the Divine life; which separation 
constitutes the death of the soul. 

From the supposition that the new birth is 
some sensible impression on the mind, at a 
particular time, we may be led to a hasty 
conclusion, that we are in a justified state, 
from feeling some tender emotions, or a 
warmth of spirit, whilst we still remain un- 
sanctified, and have not passed through the 
many dippings in Jordan, which are neces- 
sary to purify the soul. But this sudden 
transition from death to life, is an easy way 
of salvation; therefore, no wonder if it cap- 
tivate the unwary mind. " As in Adam all 
die, even so in Christ shall all be made 
alive."* This seems to me to imply, that as, 
by the fall of Adam, we lost our union with 
the Divine nature, and consequently our 
state of happiness and glory, so, through 

* I Cor. xv. 22. 



1777. 81 

Christ, each individual has the seed of life 

again sown in the heart, by faith in, and 

obedience to which we shall be asrain re- 
ts 

stored to a happy immortality. 

I believe, many are witnesses of the power 
of this new birth, who yet as to outward 
knowledge, understand little about it ; they 
would hardly be sensible what was meant by 
conversation on the subject. But the specu- 
lative frequently perplex themselves with 
words ; and endeavouring to explain the 
manner of the operation of a divine influ- 
ence, neglect retiring, in the silence of all 
flesh, to that inspeaking word, which can 
alone unfold the mysteries of a heavenly 
kingdom. 

The wayfaring man and the fool, who pro- 
bably find neither time nor inclination for 
deep studies, need not err in the path to 
happiness ; because, by a simple obedience 
to the leadings of a divine principle, which 
they inwardly experience, they are drawn 
nearer and nearer to the fountain of light, 
and thus, by faith in this power, they become 
more and more enlightened, and increasing 
in holiness and virtue, are made fit to be 
translated to an inheritance incorruptible. 

1st, 2d Mo. — O Lord, am I a sheep of thy 

e5 



82 1777. 

pasture ? How shall I know thy voice ? This 
is the frequent language of my soul, when 
thirsting after God. 

O Shepherd of Israel, let me not be de- 
ceived. Thou hast said, " My sheep hear 
my voice,"* and " they know not the voice 
of strangers. "+ O Lord, take me under thy 
protection, and guard me from all the sub- 
tile devices of the enemy. 

There are seasons, when the soul seems 
deeply humbled before God, and earnestly 
desirous to gain an incorruptible inherit- 
ance ; when all the glory of this world be- 
comes faded in its view, and it seems only 
desirous of inquiring, who shall show us any 
good ? " Lord, lift thou up the light of thy 
countenance upon us. "J This will chase 
away the gloom from our minds ; we shall 
see ourselves clearly through the ray of thy 
divine light, and knowing that to be the only 
sure guide, shall press forward, through a 
hope that maketh not ashamed. Lord, let 
thy light shine more and more clearly in my 
heart. Let it plainly make manifest what I 
ought to do, and what to leave undone ; and 
so strengthen me to come up in obedience, 
that it may shine brighter and brighter, unto 
the perfect day. And thus, walking in hum- 

* John, x. 27. t John, x. 5 ? % Psalm iv. C. 






1777. S3 

ble fear and dependance on thee, grant, if it 
be thy holy will, such an evidence that it is 
thy voice, as may stay my soul with confidence 
on thee, and that it may no more be in dan- 
ger of being blown about with every wind of 
doctrine. O Lord, sensible that I am no- 
thing, and that I can be nothing without 
thee, I am earnestly engaged to solicit thy 
favour. Cast not off, I beseech thee, the 
workmanship of thy hands; but so lead me. 
and strengthen me in the performance of 
that which is acceptable in thy sight, that T 
may grow up as a plant of thy right hand plant- 
ing; and when this corruption shall have put 
on incorruption, and this mortal immortality 
be received into a mansion in thine house. 

9£/i, 2d Mo, — It is much easier to run well 
for a time, than steadily to persevere in the 
path of holiness and virtue ; yet transient 
goodness avails but little, since it is only 
they that hold on to the end, that shall be 
saved. I am often led to take a secret review 
of myself, and, from my own feelings, am 
brought to acknowledge the truth of the 
above proposition. After having kept a 
pretty vigilant watch, and endeavoured to 
walk with care and circumspection, the mind 
sometimes begins to grow weary ; it expected 



84 1777. 

to find an early day of rest, and is disap- 
pointed, and is almost ready to cry out, I have 
" toiled all the night, and taken nothing."* 
The enemy of our soul's happiness is ever 
ready to present temptations, and our own 
corrupt nature is too apt to fall in with them. 
We grow tired of a patient waiting ; we 
want to be released from our station of watch- 
ing, and to reap some profit of our labours. 
Here the soul too frequently falls from its 
holy vigilance ; revolts from that government 
to which it had in part submitted, and wants 
to become the servant of an easier master. 
But the terms can never be altered. They 
" that shall endure unto the end, the same 
shall be saved. "t We must submit to con- 
tinue under the discipline of the cross, if ever 
we expect to receive the crown. It signifies 
not enlisting ourselves under the banners of 
Christ, unless we determine to fight till the 
warfare is accomplished ; deserters will not 
find an entrance with him into the promised 
land. " Let us not," then, " grow weary in 
well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, 
if we faint not.";}; Let this consolatory 
thought prevail over every secret murmur ; 
let us return to our station of a holy vigi- 

* Luke, v. 5. t Mat. xxiv. 13. Mark, xiii. 13. 
% Gal. Ti. 9. 



1777. S5 

lance of soul. Having* once stepped aside, 
we are in danger of being drawn swiftly 
backwards, step by step, till at last we shall 
not be able to find the way to return. 

4£/*, 3c? Mo. [Extract from a letter, .] — I am 
now sitting with my dear little cares, watch- 
ing them in their evening's repose. They 
(as thou justly observest) attach us strongly 
to life; and without a guard over ourselves, 
we are in danger of centering too much of 
our happiness in them. They may, indeed, 
in various ways, be deemed uncertain bless- 
ings ; their lives are very precarious, and 
their future conduct proving as one could 
wish, not less doubtful. I already often look 
forward with anxiety, and the most ardent 
wishes for their welfare, in a state of perma- 
nent felicity. They are now pretty play- 
things, and pleasing calls of attention, and 
should be received with grateful hearts, as 
additions to our present comfort ; but we 
should consider, that they may be blessings 
only lent for a time. 

We are so incapable of judging, with re- 
gard to our own happiness, or that of others, 
that it should lead us to a patient acquies- 
cence in the Divine will ; a resignation 
which would not only enable us to say, " Thy 



86 1777. 

will be done," but to feel that submission of 
mind which would preserve us in calm com- 
posure. 

With regard to , there seems room for 

the most consolatory thoughts. Though it 
may be exceedingly afflicting to be deprived 
of two amiable daughters, in the prime of life, 
whose company, she had probably flattered 
herself, would soothe her declining years, or 
support her in the hour of sickness or dis- 
tress ; yet, let us view them in scenes of 
futurity, centered in everlasting bliss ; con- 
sider the many evils they have escaped, 
and the resignation and composure with 
which they quitted every thing here : this 
should calm every tumultuous thought, and 
prevent every wish but that we may join 
them as soon as our work is accomplished, 
arid we are fitted for the same happiness and 
glory. 

It requires a very close and diligent search, 
to find out the true motives of action, and 
the different snares and subtilties which the 
enemy makes use of to entangle our minds, 
and, by degrees, draw us from the simplicity 
of truth. I have so often been led away 
by his deceptions, in unguarded moments, 
that it has brought me to great distrust of 



1777. 87 

myself, and ardent desires have been raised 
in my soul towards Him who has all power, 
that I might be preserved in the safe path of 
humility and fear. But this meek and lowly 
frame of mind, which would make us willing 
to become as nothing in the eyes of the 
world, yea, rejected and despised by many 
who are deeply centered in earthly wisdom, 
is very hard to be obtained ; and though we 
are sometimes favoured to see the noxious 
influence of the root of pride, and how much 
it tends to corrupt and hinder the growth of 
the good seed, yet we very unwillingly sub- 
mit to the painful operation of having it 
entirely dug out, and too frequently rest 
satisfied with only lopping off its branches, 
and slightly covering it over, not consider- 
ing how soon fresh branches will shoot forth, 
and flourish with increasing strength. 

I heard read, with satisfaction, the sermon 
thou mentionest of S. F. How few are there 
qualified to fill the station of that excellent 
man ! Free from narrowness of sentiment, 
he sought the good of all, and his mind 
seemed, covered with that universal benevo- 
lence that gained him general love and 
esteem. Indeed, I believe, the more we feel 
the influence of the love of God on our own 
souls, the more powerfully it extends to 



88 1777, 

others ; and we long- that they also may par- 
take of his mercy and goodness, and be ad- 
mitted to his solemn feasts. I never feel 
myself happier than when this holy love has 
overspread my soul. Here, all jealousies 
and heart-burnings are at an end. We no 
longer feel anger at the opposition, or con- 
tradictory sentiments of others, but would 
gather all under the wing of divine compas- 
sion, and receive the returning prodigal 
with unfeigned joy. Here, the various un- 
ruly passions seem entirely stilled, and the 
enemy of our soul's happiness is chained be- 
neath our feet. 

This, in our individual experience, bears 
a resemblance to the situation of that holy 
mountain, where nothing can hurt or destroy, 
and affords a satisfaction higher than can be 
derived from the increase of corn, wine, and 
oil. But, surely, this happy state of mind 
may be esteemed as one of the festival days of 
Zion. Our various necessary engagements of 
life subject us to almost continued scenes of 
temptation ; the lion and the lamb are not, 
at present, to lie down together; and though 
we may at times be allowed seasons of re- 
freshment, and some tastes of the pure water 
of life, yet we are not to think of taking up 
our rest, but press forward with fresh vigour 



1777. 89 

to the end of our race. Too many have 
been inclined to sit down at ease, after feel- 
ing the secret drawings of Divine Power; 
but if we expect to receive the crown at last, 
a holy vigilance must accompany our minds 
to the end of time; and we must not flatter 
ourselves that our warfare is accomplished, 
till a final period be put to our present state 
of existence. 

2ith, 8th Mo. — " Days should speak, and a 
multitude of years teach wisdom."* Alas, 
what profit have I gained by added years, 
or how have they instructed me in the line 
of experience? It is true, they make me 
more and more sensible of my own weak- 
ness ; they convince me of the vanity of the 
search after temporal happiness, and how 
little able I am to form a true judgment of 
what will be most conducive to it. But they 
have not yet taught me to bear with proper 
fortitude, the disappointments and vexations 
that are incident to human life. 

Troubles, in a greater or less degree, are 
the lot of every one; but we often think our 
own share particularly grievous, though, per- 
haps, a trial would convince us, that the 

* Job, xxxii. 7. 



90 1777. 

burdens of others would be less supportable 
than our own. I perceive, with regret, that 
I am too much discomposed by those things 
which may be looked upon as little evils ; 
and cannot sufficiently fix my mind on per- 
manent enjoyments, to support the various 
dispensations of this life with the tranquillity 
I ought. Aid me and assist me, O all-power- 
ful Lord God; enable me, I beseech thee, to 
cast my dependance wholly on thee; and 
strengthen me to support, with propriety, the 
conflicts which thy wisdom shall see meet to 
appoint. Bring down every proud thought, 
and every lofty look, and so humble me under 
the operation of thy power, that I may bow, 
in deep contrition, at the footstool of thy 
throne. Thus, O gracious Father, let me 
become the object of thy merciful and com- 
passionate regard, and so follow the footsteps 
of my Redeemer in the path of meekness 
and humility, as that the work of purifica- 
tion may go forward, and that I may live to 
thy praise. Thou hast brought me to ac- 
knowledge that all power is thine, and that 
I have no strength or sufficiency but as de- 
rived from thee. More and more strongly 
impress this sense, O Lord; and enable me 
to confess, from the very bottom of my soul, 



1778. 91 

that "thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and 
the Glory," and that thou alone art worthy 
for ever. Amen. 



1778. 

[Birth of a child.'] 22d, 2d Mo.— What 
shall I render unto thee for all thy mercies ? 
has been the frequent language of my heart. 
Melt my soul, O Lord, under the sense of 
unmerited favours, and yet add to thy va- 
rious other blessings, that of a humble anc} 
contrite spirit. 

23d. — Amidst the variety of attachments 
to earth, it is very difficult to withdraw the 
mind from them, and fix it with proper at- 
tention on the concerns of another world. 
We are very apt to think, that this, or the 
other period of time, will afford better op- 
portunity for reflection, and thus let the pre- 
sent moment fly from us unimproved. Con- 
tinued experience of this should teach us to 
be on our guard, and not look forward to a 
future time, which, if it should arrive, will 
bring with it its proportion of care. Ac- 
quaint thyself now with God, and be at peace. 
This early acquaintance with God, and hum- 
ble walking in his fear, will preserve us from 



92 1778. 

many of the snares and entanglements that 
are laid to catch our steps, and we shall be 
enabled to press forward through the crowds 
of opposition, to an " inheritance incorrup- 
tible," and " that fadeth not away."* 

1st, 3d Mo. — Great comfort arises from an 
habitual turning of the mind to God, and 
looking with calm composure on every event 
of this life, considering them as guided by 
his providence, and that not even a sparrow 
falleth to the ground without our Heavenly 
Father. But the blessings we are favoured 
with are apt to engross our attention : we 
centre in them, without sufficiently consider- 
ing the Giver with gratitude and praise, and 
neglecting to walk in humble dependance 
upon him, and submission to his will, are 
unprepared for those afflictions which are 
necessary to rouse the soul. Wisdom is most 
commonly learned in the school of adversity ; 
and there are few that make the needful im- 
provement in the calm and unruffled scenes 
of a prosperous life. 

6th, 3d Mo. — The time and the disposition 
to meditate are often at variance. When 
engaged in necessary employment, we fre- 
* I Peter, i. 4. 



1778. 93 

quently think we could retire to profitable 
meditation ; but when the hours of retirement 
come, how often have we cause to lament 
that our minds are not in a suitable frame to 
make the right improvement of such time! 

This should convince us of the folly of in- 
dulging vain fancies, that we should have 
more opportunity to profit, if this, or the 
other thing in life were different from what 
it is; since the best we can do, is to make the 
best use of the present time, according- to our 
ability, and rest assured, that whatever situa- 
tion we are in, it is such as is adapted for us 
to work out the salvation of our souls. The 
same circumstance and employments are not 
alike suited to every disposition, and by 
vainly thinking what we would do in the 
place of others, we sometimes neglect the 
duties allotted to our own sphere. 

The Lord, who sees the heart, and all the 
inmost recesses of our souls, sees likewise the 
true motives for every action; and if we sin- 
cerely desire to do that which is well-pleasing 
in his sight, and err only from fear of our 
own weakness and inability, or Gideon-like, 
desire to prove the fleece various ways, no 
doubt he will behold us with a compassionate 
eye, and so teach us to war, as that, in the 



94 1778. 

confidence of his assisting power, we shall 
not fail to overcome. 

[Extract from a letter.'] 9th, 7th Mo. — 
Anxiety of mind has a great influence on the 
body in which it is enclosed ; they are very 
nearly connected, whilst in this state of exist- 
ence ; and I have often thought, that weak- 
ness and infirmity, like anxiety and sorrow, 
have a great effect on minds properly dis- 
posed, to bring them to that true humility 
and resignation which gain admittance to 
the footstool of the divine Instructor, who 
not only condescends to lead us in the right 
path, but likewise pours the balm of conso- 
lation into our wounded souls. 

When we cast an eye on the afflictions of 
others, it brings us to the inquiry, what are 
we, that we should be so far exempt, or our 
portion of bitterness less than theirs : It 
seems humiliating to reflect on our unwor- 
thiness of the many favours bestowed, and 
should quicken our diligence in seeking trea- 
sures more durable than this world can afford ; 
lest our blessings should become a snare, and 
encourage us in a false rest. Prosperity, as 
well as adversity, is a trial of our faith: and 
I believe many are preserved in the latter, 
who would take their flight if surrounded 



177S. 95 

with the pleasures of a deceitful world. In 
all situations it is essentially necessary to 
keep low in the valley of humility, and I am 
fully persuaded, adds much to our happiness 
while here, whatever may be our portion. 
But self is ever ready to exalt itself, and get 
uppermost upon every occasion, not suffi- 
ciently considering that all excellences of 
body or mind are not at our command, but 
both subject to be invaded by disease, and 
may be taken from us in a moment. 

4^/i, 10th Mo. — We too often seek to cover 
our failings by plausible pretences, and neg- 
lect that close searching of heart, which 
would unveil all our deformities. It is, in- 
deed, very humiliating to see ourselves as 
we really are ; but let us consider how much 
more dreadful it will be, to be exposed to the 
view of men and angels, when all the hidden 
things of darkness shall be revealed. Lord, 
search me, and purify me, must be the lan- 
guage of every soul, while under these pain- 
ful apprehensions. We see the workings of 
evil under many a plausible appearance ; let 
us learn to distrust ourselves in all, and walk 
in humility and fear. 

" The heart is deceitful, above all things," 
" who can know it ? I, the Lord, search the 



96 1778. 

heart, I try the reins."* Search me, O God, 
and make me willing to know myself. I long 
to be in a state of purity, the only state of 
acceptance with thee. But how hard are 
the terms ! Every external conformity seems 
as nothing in comparison of this inward pu- 
rification of soul. Many of us are willing to 
walk with a degree of circumspection, who 
yet know not how to bear the furnace which 
is necessary to purge away all the dross. 
We would gladly find an excuse for such, or 
such a disposition, or allowance of some in- 
dulgence of resentment, for such, or such a 
provocation ; thus seeking a cover for some 
of the old roots of evil, instead of digging 
them thoroughly out. Trials and mortifica- 
tions frequently make us look deeper into 
ourselves than we otherwise should ; but 
there is a "strong inclination to avoid the 
secret discipline they would occasion. 

This observation belongs peculiarly to 
those little trials, which are sometimes the re- 
sult of, or are occasioned by, some degree of 
perverseness in our own wills. We see we 
have erred ; but we like not to acknowledge 
it, even to ourselves, and are still more averse 
to have it exposed to the world. Here 
then, the consideration that we must one 
* Jereui. xvii. 9, 10. 



1779. 97 

day appear as we really are, comes in with 
double force. Every serious thought seems 
to unite in raising desires really to become 
what we shall one day wish to be, spirits 
made pure, and fitted for a celestial kingdom. 



m9. 

21st, 3d Mo. — Our friends sometimes draw 
comparisons between our Society and the 
children of Israel, or enforce things upon us 
by their example. Israel must dwell alone ; 
therefore we must dwell alone. This method 
of reasoning seems not quite applicable to 
the present state of things, and rather carries 
the appearance of this pharisaical language 
— Stand off, " I am holier than thou."* 

The children of Israel were peculiarly 
under the immediate guidance of Provi- 
dence : the only family on the face of the 
earth (that we read of) to whom Jehovah 
openly revealed himself, enjoined them par- 
ticular rites and ceremonies, and strictly for- 
bade theircommunication with other nations. 

The Christian dispensation breathes a very 
different language ; we are all to look on 
one another as brethren, children of one 
common Father, and equally under his pro- 

* Isaiah, lxv. 5. 



98 1779. 

tection. It is true, that the manifestations 
of his light are still very different. The 
glorious truths of the Gospel are revealed 
only to a few, and sometimes, where they are 
in degree known, with great obscurity. Yet 
the Christian cannot say to the Mahometan, 
I am better than thou : let him rather query, 
if I have more light, do I walk consistently 
therewith ? Under the name of Christians, 
there are various sects ; each thinks itself in 
the right ; and under this persuasion may, 
with equal propriety, compare itself to the 
children of Israel, and judge itself peculiarly 
favoured. 

The above sentiments are not written to 
contradict the suitableness of enforcing the 
advice to withdraw from the world, and in 
great measure dwell alone ; because we are 
sensible that the world lies in wickedness, 
and that the love of it is enmity with God. 
But though our profession is high, we have 
but little cause to impute any peculiar good- 
ness to our own sect; too many of us are 
joined to the world, or make a part of that 
world which we condemn, and which may 
be as likely to lead us astray from the true 
fold, as many of other sects. The more we 
associate with religious people, the better ; 
and I would plead for keeping our coramu- 






1779. 99 

nications, as much as can conveniently be, 
within our own Society. I believe, (notwith- 
standing the above remark, that we have but 
little room to boast,) that there are more of 
us much farther advanced in true religion 
and goodness, than any other society can 
claim in the same proportion ; and whilst we 
associate with them, we are out of the way 
of many temptations, to which, with other 
societies, from their greater allowance of 
liberty, we should be exposed. But, how- 
ever good a thing may be, I am not for having 
it enforced by any principles that will not 
bear the test : there are arguments sufficient 
to support a good cause, without bringing in 
any weak ones to defend it. 

bth) 9th Mo. — I have often cause to lament 
the difficulty I find in keeping my mind in a 
retired frame when at meeting. It is too 
much like the inn, crowded with guests, 
where there is no room for the manifestations 
of that Power which can alone give life, 
and quicken for the true spiritual worship. 
Under these considerations, I have some- 
times been led to contemplate the satisfaction 
arising from that worship which can be per- 
formed in our own will and time, consisting 
in outward forms, which necessarily engage 



100 1779. 

the attention. The mind that can believe 
such offerings right and acceptable in the 
sight of God, can return from them with a 
degree of confidence, in the comfortable per- 
suasion of having done its duty ! while we, 
who see the necessity of that awful, spiri- 
tual worship, which can be performed only 
through the assistance of the Spirit, have 
frequently to return from our solemnities, 
humbled under the sense that we have per- 
formed no worship, and have to lament our 
weakness and incapacity, time after time. 

In this state, the pride of man is laid as in 
the dust; he feels his dependance upon God, 
and benefits by his humiliation : he cannot 
exalt himself like the Pharisee, he must 
mourn with the publican. And though he 
may have no gross sins to charge himself 
with, yet he sees that he is nothing, and can 
do nothing, but through the assistance of 
Him who has all power ; and is therefore 
convinced of the necessity of waiting, in 
lowliness and self-abasement, for the arising 
of that pure spirit, which can sanctify the 
heart, and prepare an acceptable offering in 
his own time. 

9th, llth Mo. — When I have been disposed 
to excuse myself, or justify my conduct, in 



1779. 101 

indulging dissatisfaction at things that were 
unpleasant or mortifying, I have sometimes 
set before me the character of persons I 
esteem as being truly religious, and governed 
by Christian meekness, and queried whether 
they would give way to such tempers, from 
such provocations. The answer has been in 
the negative ; I could not suppose that they 
would : when I have beheld their conduct, I 
have had reason to conclude that they were 
too much redeemed from the world, to be 
materially discomposed at little cross events ! 
their eyes were fixed on a better country for 
complete happiness, and they were looking 
towards it, with the faith that would enable 
them to bear and forbear. It seems foreign 
to a meek and quiet spirit to be displeased 
at slight offences and neglects ; it expects 
and looks for but little ; it is therefore less 
likely to be disappointed. 

But proud self, that seeks principally its 
own happiness, and cannot bear control, is 
feeding that fire with fuel, that must be put 
out. If, in the little things where self would 
fain justify, we cannot suppose a similar con- 
duct in a character which we esteem ; what 
stronger proof can we have of deserving con- 
demnation, and acknowledging that we stand 
in need of more meekness and humility (o 



102 1779. 

make us what we ought to be ? Let us then 
be humbled under a sense of weakness, rather 
than endeavour to justify ourselves; and 
pray for strength to overcome ail those tem- 
pers, which serve only to embitter life, and 
prevent our enjoyment of a meek and quiet 
spirit, which would add greatly to our hap- 
piness here, as well as hereafter* 

[Extract from a letter.]— 7th, 12thMo.— The 
thirst after happiness is so strongly rooted 
in our minds, that our impatience frequently 
leads us to the use of wrong means for accom- 
plishing our desires. If we would but en- 
deavour to bring our minds to be satisfied 
with things as they are, we should find it 
much easier than to alter the things them- 
selves. But that self-love and self-exalta- 
tion, which so powerfully maintain their 
ground in our hearts, too strongly oppose the 
meekness and humility which should preside 
in their place, not to occasion a frequent war 
within us. This I feel to be my own case, 
and can therefore readily sympathise with 
those who endure the same conflicts. For 
some of us, I believe, many baptisms are 
necessary, before we can become thoroughly 
purified, and the furnace must be heated many 
times hotter than its usual heat. If this 



1779. 103 

should be our own case, let us endeavour to 
stand firm in faith, and patiently endure the 
turning of that hand upon us, which would 
purge away all our dross, and take away all 
our tin. For my own part, I see frequent 
need to pray that my faith fail not, and to 
rejoice in feeling- the influence of that Spirit, 
through which alone we can cry, Abba. 
Father. But so much of the old leaven re- 
mains, as makes it generally a time of deep 
humiliation ; though, with the comfortable 
assurance that Divine regard is still ex- 
tended, and that he is yet willing, in his 
infinite mercy, to gather me into his fold of 
rest. The smooth and even path it has never 
been my lot to tread ; though favoured with 
many blessings, (many more than I deserve 
doth my soul often acknowledge,) yet I have 
not been without a share of deep, inward 
conflicts ; some of which may have arisen 
from a want of that true heavenly meekness 
of which others seem possessed. But how 
hard is that subjection of self, which can lay 
aside all the pleasures and glories of this 
fading world, and look upon every thing as 
dross and as dung, in comparison of Christ. 
Though my spirit breathes after it, I find it 
very difficult to attain ; and am sometimes 
ready to fear that I am very little nearer to 



104 1780. 

the kingdom of Heaven than when I first 



began. 



1780. 

2d, 1st Mo.— Faith is the gift of God. The 
more we know of ourselves! the more we are 
sensible that every good gift comes from him, 
and that we can neither do a good act, nor 
think a good thought, but as we are strength- 
ened and assisted by the efficacious operation 
of his all-sufficient grace. 

Here then, we might rest our dependance 
in every situation, if we could but consider 
that we had not rejected this grace, nor fallen 
by our own negligence and inattention : but 
how few can make this confession ! We have 
all erred, and fallen short of that state in 
which we might have been placed, and re- 
main subject to various corruptions of our 
nature, from which we might have been re- 
deemed through grace. 

Many visitations of Divine love remain 
still fresh in my memory, when, I think I 
may say, my heart has been humbled under 
the influence of divine power, and I have 
been ready to cry out, I can do all things 
through Christ that strengtheneth me. But 
how have these melting seasons passed away 



1780. 105 

as the morning dew ! They have even been, 
after a time, succeeded by doubts, concerning 
the immediate operation of this invisible 
Power ; and queries have arisen, does the 
Lord so condescend as to make each indivi- 
dual the object of his particular attention? 

But, why these doubts ? His power is be- 
yond our comprehension, and we have reason 
to believe that he can see, at one glance, 
the inmost recesses of our souls, and, with- 
out trouble to himself, influence them at his 
pleasure. 

To believe ourselves thus the objects of 
his regard, is a most comfortable faith. Oh 
that it might never fail ! saith my soul, and 
that I might, with holy reverence, approach 
the footstool of His throne, who is Lord of 
lords, and King of kings, (much higher than 
our capacities can reach,) under a confidence 
that he is a God hearing prayer, and will be 
attentive to the cry of even us poor worms. 

26^, Is* Mo. — Notwithstanding we often 
see the benefit of the cross, yet we are very 
apt to flinch from it when it approaches. 
We acknowledge that it is good for us to be 
afflicted, but we would choose our own af- 
flictions. We know that discipline is neces- 
sary, but we are disposed to point out the 

f5 



106 1780. 

time and manner of it for ourselves ; vainly 
imagining that this, or the other trouble 
would be productive of more benefit than 
those which we at present feel. I have no 
doubt that ideas of this kind have place in 
more minds than my own ; for there seems to 
be a strong- propensity in our nature to ac- 
quiesce more cheerfully with the will of our 
Creator, in those calamities from which we 
can see that some benefit may arise, than 
where we can behold no probable good 
from our afflictions. But here is a great 
failure of confidence in the wisdom and good- 
ness of the Supreme Being ; for if He, who 
can look into futurity, wills only the happi- 
ness of his creatures, we may rest assured 
that whatever happens to us is for the best, 
and that nothing can be more beneficial for 
us, than that which falls to our lot. 

While we indulge the disposition of carv- 
ing for ourselves, either what seems good 
or evil, we lose many advantages that might 
arise from making a proper use of our 
present situation. By giving way to such 
thoughts, we are in danger of getting, by 
degrees, to murmur against God, instead of 
receiving, with meekness and patience, what- 
ever he may appoint. If we feel the corrup- 
tion of our nature, and that the furnace is 



1780. 107 

necessary to purify it, let us rather cheer- 
fully take up those crosses appointed for us 
to bear, than endeavour to flee from them : 
resting in the firm persuasion, that they are 
such as are best adapted to refine our souls ; 
and whether they may be visible to the 
world, or confined only within our own 
knowledge, if we patiently bear, and make a 
proper use of them, they will be productive 
of a reward far exceeding all temporal gra- 
tifications. 

\Sthy 2d Mo.—'' Without me, ye can do 
nothing."* If these words of our Saviour 
were deeply engraven on our minds, we 
should be induced to walk with great care 
and circumspection, humbly seeking that 
strength and advice which could alone en- 
able us to act rightly. But we are too apt 
to walk forward in our own wisdom and 
our own strength, forgetting, that without 
Christ we can do nothing as we ought ; by 
which neglect we are frequently brought to 
shame, and have to repent our inadvertence 
and misconduct. When we have thus sunk 
in our own esteem, and seriously consider 
our backslidings, we are led to mourn over 
ourselves, and are ready to make fresh cove- 

* John, xv. 5. 



108 1780. 

nant with God, that if he will but release us 
from the burden of sin, and assist us through 
the difficulties into which our negligence has 
brought us, we will then ever look upon him 
as a God near at hand, and walk before him 
as obedient children. But, alas, how weak 
is our faith ! The return of peace of mind, 
and a degree of outward ease, is too apt to 
make us again sit down in a state of negli- 
gence, forgetting him who is the Author of 
all our mercies, and who alone can preserve 
us in the hour of temptation. 

O Lord, I beseech thee, increase my faith, 
and enable me to consider thee as a God 
always near at hand, and condescending to 
regard the poor children of men. Where I 
have erred, O Lord, enable me to mend, and 
to walk before thee in humility and simpli- 
city of heart. Without thee, I see that I 
can do nothing ; and, O, may this sense en- 
gage me to walk before thee in holy fear. I 
desire not to escape the discipline which thou 
seest necessary to purify my soul; let me 
rather pray that thy hand would not spare, 
nor thine eye pity, until thou hast brought 
forth judgment unto victory. Let the dread 
of being left of thee, stimulate me to walk in 
more perfect obedience, and without rea- 
soning with flesh and blood, to give up in 



1780. 109 

simplicity to all thy requirings. This is the 
only path of safety and of peace. O Lord 
God enable me to pursue it. 

12th, 4th Mo.—" In the world ye shall have 
tribulation,"* but in me, peace. 

This clear prediction of our Saviour we 
often feel verified, yet can hardly submit to 
the idea, that it must ever remain to be the 
case. 

When we feel the various struggles be- 
tween nature and grace, and the many out- 
ward things that surround us to create dis- 
quietude, we are ready to adopt the sen- 
timent, that " Man is born to trouble, as the 
sparks fly upward. "+ But these thoughts 
are too gloomy, long to possess our minds. 
Even the religious would grow disqualified 
for the various allotments of life, if some 
present blessings were not interspersed, to 
cheer the melancholy scene, and revive them 
with hope. But we are apt to build castles 
in the air, and depend upon something, in 
future, to make us happier than we at pre- 
sent find ourselves. This is seeking for con- 
solation where we shall never find it. 

We must be content, while in this world, 
to inhabit with affliction, and yet not let 
* John, x?i. 33. t Job, v. 7. 



110 1780. 

despondency prevail ; but consider how many 
blessing's are bestowed upon us, for which 
we ought to be thankful, rather than dwell 
on those ideal satisfactions, which Provi- 
dence, in infinite wisdom, has not seen fit 
should be realised. This is too much the 
disposition of man, and is, probably, a source 
of greater unhappiness, than all the real 
sorrows that fall to his share. We should 
let the declaration, " In the world ye shall 
have tribulation," be so far impressed on our 
minds, that when it approaches, we may not 
sink under its weight, but may seek for our 
support and consolation from the promise, 
that in our Saviour we may have peace. 
Every thing in life is checquered, and af- 
fords no sure foundation to build upon ; 
every thing around us not only speaks the 
language that " here we have no continuing 
city,"* but also, that this is only a state of 
probation, in which trials and afflictions are 
necessary to purify our souls. Why then, 
should we be cast down at the prospect be- 
fore us, seeing we are but pilgrims, and 
sojourners for a short time, travelling to- 
wards a better country, to seek durable 
happiness. 

O my soul, be composed with this thought, 

* Heb. xiii. 14. 



1780. Ill 

and seek that peace in Christ which will 
still all the boisterous waves, and support 
thy frail and tottering bark along the stream 
of time. 

A thirsting after some applause from men 
is too apt to prevail, even in religious minds ; 
to gain it, is but to be puffed up with false 
glory, to increase the appetite for it, and fill 
our minds with ambition, instead of having 
them governed by heavenly meekness and 
Divine love. 

Thus the fabric which was begun with the 
first sparks of emulation, and carried on by 
an increasing fondness for applause, must be 
entirely demolished. We must not only 
learn each man to u esteem other better 
than himself," but we must experience 
every root of bitterness and envy to be en- 
tirely eradicated, and the peaceable " fruits 
of righteousness," which comprehend Di- 
vine and universal love, substituted in their 
stead. 

Here are the fruits of that new birth, which 
though small in its beginnings, will, in time, 
leaven the whole lump. And as we feel this 
plant or heavenly seed to increase in growth, 
by which our minds become more and more 
enlightened, let us not endeavour to excuse 



112 1780. 

or justify our past conduct, but rectifying 
by degrees, as we go along, endeavour to in- 
crease in conformity to the Divine image ; 
confessing that we have heretofore walked 
in corruption, and continue in part to do the 
same, though supported with faith that we 
shall one day be more than conquerors, 
through Him that loved us, and who can 
enable us to gain the victory over death, hell 
and the grave. 

2lst, 9th Mo. — It is painful to observe how 
rarely we meet with a character of consistent 
goodness or propriety of conduct throughout. 
Some particular failings are apt to stamp the 
most eminent ; and some natural passion un- 
subdued, gains an ascendancy over us that 
eclipses all our virtues. Such is the miser- 
able constitution of the human frame, in its 
present fallen and degenerate state. But 
while we lament our depravity, let us reflect 
on the means of rising above it put into our 
power; and-though we observe one falling, 
as it were, on our right hand, and another on 
our left, let us not give ourselves over for 
lost, as if we must necessarily share the same 
fate, but use double diligence, and pray fer- 
vently to Him who can guard every avenue 
of the heart, and assist us to walk forward 



1780. 113 

with safety through all the snares of the 
enemy. 

I have sometimes thought that those who 
have been in part redeemed, and accustomed 
themselves to reflect on important things, 
have frequently been in danger of falling 
and coming under reproach, from inattention 
to lesser matters. Here the enemy of souls 
has found an entrance, and gained advantage 
where he would certainly have failed in more 
daring attempts. To be constantly on our 
guard and prepared for an attack, requires 
no small vigilance; and we are ready to 
shrink from such hard duty, as painful and 
laborious. But if we expect to be con- 
querors, we must endure the previous hard- 
ship and discipline which are necessary to 
qualify us for " valiant soldiers" in the cause 
of Christ. 

There are many who would reap the fruits 
of victory, without going through the toil 
necessary to obtain it ; and some who would 
be willing to exert themselves on extraordi- 
nary occasions, provided their general state 
might be that of ease and rest. But if we 
entertain any reasonable hope of enjoying 
permanent felicity when these earthly scenes 
are closed, it must be by an endeavour to ar- 
rive at that invariable uprightness of con- 



114 1780. 

duct which can result only from a strict ad- 
herence to the Divine principle and redeem- 
ing power, which can enable us to overcome 
all evil, and will lead us on, step by step, in 
little things as well as great, to such an ex- 
alted pitch of virtue, as to be brought to ac- 
knowledge that " all her ways are ways of 
pleasantness, and all her paths are peace."* 

3d, 10th Mo. — Our zeal and our faith are 
likely to bear a proportion to each other. 
A strong faith will be productive of a lively 
zeal, because there is a natural propensity in 
the human mind to be strenuous in support- 
ing those truths or opinions in which we 
firmly believe. Both are dependant, in some 
measure, on the passions and dispositions of 
men. Some imaginations paint every thing 
in strong colours, whilst others are disposed 
to take up with less light and shade: the 
former disposition is apt to be accompanied 
with an over-confidence; and the latter to 
fall short of the excellence which might be 
attained. 

From endeavouring to search into things 
beyond our depth, and giving way to doubts 
and perplexities, our minds become bewil- 
dered, and we may be in danger of getting 

* Prov. Hi. 17. 



1780. 115 

in time to doubt of essential truths. Hence 
must arise lukewarmness and indifference ; 
since we cannot be zealous about that of 
which our own minds are not fully persuaded. 

The man of strong faith and lively zeal 
will press forward through a thousand diffi- 
culties; but is in great danger of falling, 
from mistaking error for truth, unless his 
ardour be guided by a sound judgment, and 
he keep his mind open to the reproofs of in- 
struction: for "he that believeth shall not 
make haste."* 

On the other hand, the man, calm and com- 
posed, who, desirous of making the same 
port, weighs and examines every thing before 
he receives it, and even then, perhaps, re- 
ceives it doubtingly, should be careful not to 
stand on the borders of scepticism, but pray- 
ing fervently for a right faith, pursue dili- 
gently those truths in which he firmly be- 
lieves, that by walking forward in the little 
light, more may be granted, and his path may 
shine brighter and brighter unto the perfect 
day. He will then find zeal to increase with 
his faith ; and though he will press forward 
more calmly, it will be with more safety and 
certainty, than the opposite character ; and 
if his progress be slow, he will be in no dan- 

* Isaiah, xxviii. 16. 



116 1781. 

ger of making shipwreck, but arrive safe, at 
last, at the desired haven of rest. 

I am thankful that I can still rejoice in 
lowness, and find a little strength afforded 
to enable me to put up a secret prayer for 
support in the day of conflict; and without 
desiring to shrink from discipline, patiently 
endure whatever may be allotted me. 

O Lord God, enable me to look towards 
the holy habitation with unshaken faith, and 
steadily fix my eye on those durable riches 
which are independant on the breath of man. 
Then, every thing we meet with here, will 
be easily submitted to, and we shall travel 
forward as pilgrims, who are only solicitous 
to arrive safe at their journey's end. 



1781. 

[Birth of a son.'] ISth, 1st Mo.— It is some 
mortification to reflect on the necessity there 
seems for us to be taught our own weakness, 
by the experience of suffering. We fancy 
we can support many things, which, upon 
trial, we find ourselves inadequate to; this 
should lead us to distrust ourselves on all 
occasions, and likewise to sympathise with, 
and pity others, rather than with harsh se- 






1781. 117 

verity judge their failings. Our own powers 
can do but little for us; and in the hours of 
distress, of either body or mind, we cry out 
for the merciful hand of Heaven to support 
us. Without this superior assistance, we 
should sink under many trials ; but He whose 
providential care is over all his works, fails 
not to attend to the supplication of those 
who apply to him through faith, and will 
either relieve our sufferings, or enable us to 
bear them. 

I may thankfully acknowledge, that in all 
conflicts, either of body or mind, I have not 
been deserted by the supporting arm of a 
heavenly Father; and under a full sense of 
the benefit I have received by discipline, I 
would endeavour to consider " the rod, and 
who hath appointed it."* 

27th. — To be oppressed with lowness is 
painful ; but there is a kind of calm lowness, 
which sometimes overspreads the mind, both 
pleasing and profitable. In this state, meek- 
ness and love seem particularly prevalent ; 
and though we sensibly feel the many tender 
ties to earth, yet this feeling is mixed with 
such a resignation of will to the wise Dis- 
poser of all events, that we find our minds 
* Micah, vi. 9. 



118 1781. 

covered with tranquillity, and we indeed, 
possess our souls in peace. 

Here we seem built, as it were, on the sure 
foundation ; we stand with fortitude against 
the floods, the wind and the rain, and for a 
while remain unshaken. But the weakness 
of human nature again prevails, temptations 
grow powerful, and we are overcome. Let 
us then, fervently pray for the assistance 
of that Power, who can alone enable us 
to stand secure amidst surrounding difficul- 
ties. I believe he sometimes permits us to 
fall even very low, that all human pride 
may be laid in the dust, and that learning to 
distrust ourselves, we may depend solely on 
him. 

27th, 3d Mo. — In my own experience, I 
can often trace judgment to a previous failure 
of duty in some respect. This, I have some- 
times found to be profitable, and to have oc- 
casioned good resolutions of doing better in 
future, through the assistance of Divine 
Grace. But at the same time that I find it 
beneficial for myself, I think it highly in- 
jurious to form an opinion of the conduct of 
others, from any evil that may befal them. 
The sun shineth, and the rain descendeth on 
the evil and on the good. Prosperity and ad- 



1781. 119 

versity, with regard to this world, happen 
alike to both ; and the latter, though it may 
sometimes appear as a judgment for past 
offences, and be designed to rouse people to 
a sense of duty, yet at others, it may only be 
intended to prune the fruit-bearing branches, 
that they may bring forth more fruit, and to 
refine us in the furnace till every particle of 
dross and tin be utterly consumed, that we 
may come out as pure gold. 

It is only He who searcheth the heart, and 
can penetrate into every secret motive of 
action, who can form a just estimate of our 
conduct. Our knowledge is very superfi- 
cial ; and those who may appear to stand with 
the fairest characters, may have many sins 
and impurities known only to God; whilst 
others, in whom ive can behold many more 
faults, but who are, from their situations, 
either outwardly or inwardly subjected to 
more temptations, or have fewer helps, are 
less culpable in the sight of God, and like 
the publican formerly, are justified rather 
than the other. 

\7th,5th 3Io. — A review of some of my 
sentiments respecting education, has revived 

—■ — — 



120 1781. 

on the difference between theory and prac- 
tice. We must become parents, before we 
can feel the difficulties attendant on that 
station. We can quietly look on, and judge 
this, or the other thing, to be very easy ; 
but when it is our turn to be tried, we learn 
by experience, that the judgment we had 
formed was very superficial. The same in- 
ference may be drawn from observation on 
various other stations in life, many of which, 
our self-love may flatter us that we should 
fill with more propriety than those who 
already occupy them. But let our experi- 
ence in one particular, teach us so much 
wisdom as may prevent a wrong estimation 
of ourselves in others; and having been once 
deceived in forming an opinion of the ease of 
acting in a station which we have never 
tried, let us be warned to avoid future judg- 
ments of the kind, and rather compassionate 
the failings of others who may have more 
temptations to encounter than we are aware 
of, than censure them with harsh severity. 

6th, Sth Mo. — A few censorious remarks, 
the other evening, led me to consider how 
apt we are to get into the seat of judgment 
upon others, and censure every one that de- 



1781. 121 

viates from our own line of conduct. But 
we can have no surer sign of being in a 
wrong spirit ourselves, than when we feel 
that such a disposition prevails ; for true 
virtue not only leads to charity, humility, 
and distrust of ourselves, but likewise diffuses 
itself in love to all, in a concern for their 
welfare, and wishes for their perfection. 
There are seasons when we feel ourselves so 
far raised above every thing earthly, as to be 
free from envy or jealousy, and united in love 
to all mankind. And can we say that any 
seasons are equal to these ? or so strongly 
unite us to the Deity, who is the fountain of 
love ? Let us then rather endeavour to cul- 
tivate this overflowing love, than censure or 
condemn where there is no prospect of benefit 
by it. The mind that feels itself averse to 
the strait and narrow way, is sometimes 
pleased with the opportunity of seeing those 
stumble and fall who are endeavouring 
to pursue it. And some others, who see 
the necessity of striving to walk therein, 
feel so many difficulties attending it, that 
they are ready to think their own lot hard. 
Both these states may be disposed to cen- 
sure others, not having yet attained to that 
1 sweetness, which can testify that all the 




122 1782. 

ways of God are ways of pleasantness, and 
all his paths are peace. 



1782. 

22d, 2d Mo. — There is a strange propen- 
sity in some minds to be continually building 
upon happiness here ; and if they are dis- 
appointed in one situation, to look forward 
to another. But this is not the way to profit 
by the corrections we meet with. We should 
rather endeavour after a state of greater 
purity and abstraction from the world, that 
we may be fitted for more durable happiness. 
But some of us may acknowledge that it occa- 
sions many a hard struggle to get above the 
world, particularly to those who are too desi- 
rous of the praise and approbation of men. 
If they attain any degree of excellence, they 
will most likely meet with many obstacles, 
and many falls, before they learn to dwell in 
the valley of humility. The tall cedars of 
Lebanon, and the lofty oaks of Bashan, must 
all be bowed down. Every human excel- 
lence and perfection must become of no ac- 
count in comparison of winning Christ, who, 
through meekness and suffering, will lead us 
to glory. It is in vain to endeavour to mix 









1782. 123 

the pride of man with Christian perfection. 
They are opposite in their nature, and must 
be so in their end. An eager pursuit after 
the applause of men may spur people on to 
some things laudable in themselves; but at 
the same time, it leads to such self-compla- 
cency, and high opinions of ourselves, as can 
but ill brook the mortifications we may meet 
with, and much less submit to that cross of 
Christ, which appears foolishness in the eyes 
of the world. Oh how gladly would we escape 
a suffering, mortified state! The terms seem 
so hard, that we are almost ready to turn 
away sorrowful. But let us think on the 
peace and tranquillity accompanying the 
patient, suffering soul, which is wholly de- 
pendant on God, and whose chief solicitude 
is to please him. Freed from all the turbu- 
lent passions of fallen man, it can pursue its 
path with sweet serenity of mind ; it can look 
at every abasement and mortification it may 
meet with, as the kind chastisements of a 
heavenly Father, to draw to still greater 
purity and assimilation with himself: and 
thus supported with holy hope and faith in 
God, it can press forward from state to state, 
till, having filled up the measure of its ex- 
istence in time, it can forget all its sorrows 
in a boundless futurity. Oh glorious, happy 



124 1782. 

state ! May my mind be disposed to drink 
of the cup, and be baptized with the baptism 
so essentially necessary to salvation. 

23d, &th Mo. — If ever I undertook any 
thing in the fear of the Lord, I think I may 
say I have this day had my four children 
inoculated in that most holy fear. Yet it 
has been accompanied with trembling and 
ardent breathings of soul to the Most High, 
for their preservation. Though it has been 
done with a firm persuasion of its propriety, 
I feel deeply anxious for the event, beyond 
what I think I should feel from the appre- 
hension of any ill in which I could have no 
hand. 

\bth, 5th Mo. — Yesterday we left our lodg- 
ings in London, and returned with much 
satisfaction to our own habitation. I may 
truly say I desire to have my mind covered 
with thankfulness for this last, as well as 
numberless other unmerited favours which 
it has pleased the Supreme Being, in the 
course of his Providence, to bestow. What 
shall I render unto thee for all thy mercies, 
is sometimes the language of my soul. And 
knowing, that when we do our best, we can 
be but unprofitable servants, I have been 



1782. 125 

solicitous to be kept in that meek and hum- 
ble state, which is acceptable in the sight of 
the Most High, and to feel my heart entirely 
devoted to his service. 

12th, 9th Mo. — When we meet with oppo- 
sition to our own opinions, it is sometimes 
difficult to prevent being too tenacious in the 
support of them. But at the same time that 
we are advocates for what we are fully per- 
suaded is right, we should consider that 
others have the same privilege of judging, 
and endeavour to prevent opposition of sen- 
timent from breaking in upon true harmony. 
Men ever have differed, and most likely ever 
will (while the present constitution of the 
world remains) differ in their opinions on 
various subjects. If they are not productive 
of evil or inconvenience, it seems needless to 
controvert them ; and if they are, the most 
effectual way of opposing them, is by care- 
fully guarding against too much warmth or 
zeal in our opposition. 

\bthy 9th Mo. — An exertion of much dis- 
cipline seems very little adapted for females. 
There is certainly too much truth in the ob- 
servation, that they love power, and often 
make an improper use of it. Perhaps, if we 



126 1782. 

say that the human mind is prone to seek its 
own exaltation, and sometimes judges itself 
pursuing' the glory of God, and the good of 
the Church, while the spark that actuates it 
is its own importance, we may include men 
as well as women ; both are too apt to swerve 
from the path of meekness and humility, and 
estimate their own virtues by the crimes of 
others. In the present depraved state of 
human nature, a degree of discipline seems 
indispensably necessary to preserve order and 
harmony in any society. The less it is ex- 
tended beyond the laws of morality, (in gene- 
ral) I should think the better. And seeing 
how difficult it is to sit in condemnation on 
others, without being lifted up with an idea 
of our own superior righteousness ; we should 
rather derive satisfaction from the conside- 
ration that nature has, in some measure, ex- 
cused us from the exercise of these duties, 
than covet to be employed in them. Let us 
exhort one another with all sisterly love, 
endeavouring to strengthen and edify the 
Church, but leave to those, deemed the 
stronger vessels, the office of chastising, or 
cutting off its members ; never wishing to 
lend a helping hand in such business, unless 
present particular duty point the way. 



1782. 127 

1st, llth Mo.— Of all the temptations to 
which human nature, in this frail state of 
existence, is liable, there is none we are more 
apt to fall in with, than an opinion of our 
own perfections. We see many thus en- 
snared, who have been preserved from the 
follies and vanities of the world ; and the 
more knowledge and experience we gain. 
the more we see it necessary to stand upon 
our guard. " Stand off, I am holier than 
thou," is, I doubt, the language of some, who 
are less justified than the poor publican ; 
and the misfortune is, that we do not see this 
to be our language, but are probably, in- 
dulging ourselves with the idea that we are 
in the meek and humble state which is to in- 
herit the kingdom. Whenever we feel great 
zeal against contrary opinions in others, or 
set up our own consciences, or rule of life, 
for them, we may always rest assured that 
we are in great danger of indulging spiritual 
pride. From an extensive knowledge and 
study of mankind, we must learn that in all 
nations and times, there has been a variety 
of sentiments, both with regard to faith and 
practice, entertained by those, who, with sin- 
cere hearts, endeavoured to perform their 
duty. That the same differences should still 
subsist, therefore, ceases to be a wonder. 



128 1782. 

For what end they are permitted by Infinite 
Wisdom, is not for us to determine. 

Every thing around us, every observation 
we can make, may tend to confirm the know- 
ledge that we are poor, ignorant, fallible 
beings. Our reliance is on the goodness of 
God, who, we trust, will make us finally 
happy. And if we are endowed with clearer 
conceptions of the Deity, or more natural 
knowledge, it is no cause of boasting; seeing 
that all we are possessed of is his gift, and 
that we are but as clay in his hands. If we 
think that we can point out to our brethren, 
a more certain road to happiness than that 
which they are pursuing, let us do it in the 
meekness of wisdom ; remembering, that our 
opinions, as well as our practices, are liable 
to error, and must remain so, as long as we 
can see but as " through a glass darkly." 
These considerations would check that con- 
fidence in self, which is so apt to prevail, 
and help us to walk forward in humility and 
fear, the only safe state for such a poor 
dependant creature as man. On our first 
setting out in a religious life, we meet with 
many trials and crosses. We find we must 
give up many of the pleasures and gratifica- 
tions which are craved by our sensual appe- 
tites, and in the performance of these duties, 






1782. 129 

are apt to take merit to ourselves ; thus 
making an entrance for self-complacency and 
spiritual pride. We are then much in- 
clined to make a false estimate of things, and 
judge ourselves better for the many crosses 
we bear ; instead of which, we should look 
upon their being crosses, as signs of our great 
imperfection, and of a want of that union of 
will with the Supreme Power, which con- 
stitutes both our perfection and happiness. 
We do well, to take up the cross to our na- 
tural inclinations, and resign the flesh-pots 
of Egypt at the command of our heavenly 
Father ; but we shall certainly arrive at a 
better state, when our inclinations become 
conformable to our duty. 

llth, llth Mo.— Oh, the miseries of life ! 
This is the language of sensibility, when 
struck with the various scenes of wretched- 
ness which sometimes present themselves to 
our view. When we consider the hard lot 
of many, who can scarcely earn, with unre- 
mitted labour, daily sustenance for them- 
selves and their families ; of others, who are 
just ready to sink under the weight of pain- 
ful diseases; and of some, who are doubly 
oppressed, both with poverty and sickness; 
we can hardly forbear being touched with 

g5 



130 1782. 

sympathy for their distress, and putting up 
a secret prayer, that our portion may be less 
bitter than theirs. Nor are these all the 
miseries of life; its evils are too many to be 
enumerated. The loss of every near con- 
nexion that can make life desirable ; various 
other sources of anguish that must embitter 
every enjoyment; and, above all evils, the 
being- deprived of reason ; these are scenes, 
which, when we reflect on them, make us 
almost ready to tremble, for fear of what our 
future lives may produce. They likewise 
afford a strong presumption that a better 
life awaits us, in which we shall no longer 
regret the day that we were born, nor mourn 
that we were brought into existence. But 
we have been taking a view of life in its most 
gloomy recesses. It bears a very different 
aspect to a great part of mankind, some of 
whom, forgetting how soon their mirth may 
be turned into heaviness, and their joy into 
mourning, remain unhurt by the calamities 
of others, and are pursuing a round of plea- 
sure. There are many whose situations are 
more moderate; enough raised above cala- 
mity, to be thankful for the enjoyment of 
many temporal blessings, yet sufficiently 
checquered with anxiety and pain, to make 
them desirous of more substantial happiness. 



1782. 131 

In this review of life, we have taken things 
very much in their natural state, without 
considering the influence of religion on our 
minds. When we call in its aid to support 
us, and the hope of a glorious immortality; 
when we consider that these short afflictions, 
which endure but for a moment, will, by our 
making a proper use of them, work for us a 
far more exceeding and eternal weight of 
glory ; we then learn to rejoice in tribula- 
tion ; and abounding in that which alone is 
truly estimable, feel our minds renewedly 
filled with consolation and peace. Faith in 
God is the only sure anchor to support the 
soul under its various conflicts. When we 
say faith in him, it implies faith in his wis- 
dom, power and goodness, and in his provi- 
dential care over the workmanship of his 
hands. A view of the miseries of life, should 
not depress our spirits, or lessen our faith. 
We cannot sufficiently trace either their 
cause or their effect, to form any certain 
judgment for what end they were designed ; 
therefore, leaving conjectures, and vain in- 
quiries concerning them, let us confide in 
the mercy and goodness of God ; trusting, 
that in due time, we shall see through this 
veil that at present surrounds us. The many 
temporal evils to which we are exposed, the 



132 1782. 

errors which we are continually liable to 
fall into, (not to say the great wickedness 
which we lament in others, and from which 
we cannot say that we ourselves are safe,) 
are all lessons that should teach us great 
humility, and make us serve the Lord with 
fear and trembling, daily praying for his 
assistance and preservation. Perhaps, not- 
withstanding all the real and imaginary evils 
we have to encounter, many of us remain too 
strongly attached to this present life, to look 
upon it as we ought, a passage only to a bet- 
ter. If we considered ourselves but as tra- 
vellers, we should be better disposed to put 
up with the inconveniences we met with, and 
think nothing essential that affected not our 
everlasting home. 

12th, 12th Mo. — I have sometimes felt my 
mind so overspread with a sense of human mi- 
sery, that I have been ready to comfort myself 
that so large a portion of my own existence 
was already past, and likewise have felt a de- 
gree of regret that I have brought others into 
being, whose path, for any thing I know, may 
be strewed only with briars and thorns. The 
present enjoyment of them does not always 
immediately banish these gloomy thoughts, 
and I look forward with anxiety and fear. 



1782. 133 

When I contemplate all the various species 
of creation, it seems as if one race of beings 
were designed to be the sport and prey 
of another. Man too, falls in with the ge- 
neral propensity. Perhaps, superior beings 
look down upon us with as little concern as 
we behold a commonwealth of bees or em- 
mets. Our pursuits are not always dictated 
by more apparent sagacity ; and though we 
exclaim at the evils of life, instead of endea- 
vouring to lessen them, we take a pleasure 
in tormenting each other, and add to the bit- 
terness of that cup which we are ready to say 
is scarcely supportable, but that we know 
not how to avoid it. These are melancholy 
reflections; but are they not just, and adapted 
to the state of man, who, though he may 
sometimes consider himself but as a speck in 
the wide circle of creation, and as almost un- 
worthy of notice, yet is in general too much 
centered in the idea of his own importance, 
and that every thing visible is designed for 
his pleasure or use ? Every consideration 
seems profitable that may tend to keep us in 
humility, so long as it does not lead us to 
distrust. We cannot contemplate infinite 
Power, without being struck with wonder 
and amazement. Perhaps we, in our present 
state, join the spiritual world, as the vege- 



134 1782. 

tative joins the animal, so closely, that it ma 1 
be difficult to pronounce to which rank we 
belong. We shall not be depressed with our 
present state, while we consider it only as 
preparative for our translation to a better ; 
and though we may sometimes sink with the 
idea of our own nothingness, and say with 
the Psalmist, " What is man, that thou art 
mindful of him, or the son of man that thou 
visitest him ;"* yet, if we consider the Al- 
mighty as ever present with all his works, 
that he is on the right hand and on the left, 
though we cannot perceive him, and is inti- 
mately acquainted with the inmost recesses 
of our souls; does it not inspire us with a 
humble confidence that he will look with 
pleasure on those who reverence his name, 
and unite himself with those who thirst for 
the enjoyment of his presence. Comfort me, 
O Lord, with this reviving hope. Increase 
my faith and my love, and enable me, I hum- 
bly pray thee, to draw near to thee in spirit. 
Turn my mind from vain inquiries into those 
things which are too deep for me, and which 
lead not to truth. Condescend to assist me, 
O gracious God, in the performance of all 
practical duties, and cover my heart with uni- 
versal benevolence and love. Thus, guided 

* Psalm viii. 4. 



1783. 135 

by thy unerring wisdom, may I fill up the 
place which thou hast allotted me, and when 
the measure of my time is accomplished, be 
gathered into thy eternal rest. Permit me 
to offer up this ardent breathing of soul, for 
those who are near and dear to me, and for 
whose welfare I am anxiously solicitous. 
Gather us all to thyself, O Lord, and permit 
us to join that innumerable company of saints 
and angels who are already made perfect. 



1~83. 

1st, 2d Mo. — Yesterday, about noon, 

suddenly departed this life. In this remo- 
val, it is our own loss we mourn, not hers ; 
for the only important object in life is to be 
fit for death ; and when that period arrives, 
we can reap no advantage to ourselves 
from a longer tarriance in a world beset 
with anxieties and cares, even in its most 
happy state. This idea is a never-failing 
source of consolation respecting the deceased. 
And though we feel that the ties of nature 
and friendship cannot be broken without a 
severe shock, yet I believe the pangs of grief 
will be moderated, rather than augmented, 
by the consideration of that harmony and 
love, which we felt in full force with our 



136 1775. 

dear relation, who is the object of our present 
sorrow. A fond mother, a most affectionate 
and condescending wife, — and whose sweet- 
ness of disposition must ever remain as a 
pleasant memorial, in the hearts of all those 
who were connected with her. 

7th, 2d Mo. — Yesterday morning-, attended 
my sister's funeral. She was buried at Winch- 
more-hill, after a satisfactory meeting*, in 
which the words of consolation and advice 
were both administered. 

" How many go as sudden, not as safe," 
is a sentiment of Young's, which has often oc- 
curred to my mind since the late affecting 
event. We have frequent admonitions and 
warnings, that it is a solemn thing to live, 
and an awful thing to die. Oh that my 
mind may be deeply impressed with a sense 
thereof: and, considering that there may 
possibly be but a step between me and 
death, may I walk with that care and cir- 
cumspection, which will make me ready, 
whenever the awful messenger shall arrive. 
This day begins my 36th year. When I review 
the preceding years, I cannot but lament the 
many failings I have been guilty of, and the 
little progress I have made in true purity of 
heart. Yet I feel a reviving hope, that that 



1783. 137 

supporting arm, which has in some measure 
preserved me, is still near to help, and that 
by a more firm dependance on all its lead- 
ings, I shall press forward in a progressive 
state. 

Great indeed are the advantages of true 
living faith. I often feel my heart deeply 
engaged in the desire to acknowledge, with 
proper thankfulness, the goodness of God, 
having had frequent cause to adore it in his 
various dispensations, whether of mercy or of 
judgment ; and an ardent breathing of soul 
often accompanies my mind for an increase 
of this precious faith, which can indeed still 
all the boisterous waves, and conduct us 
through the ocean of life to an inheritance 
amongst those that are sanctified. 



•©" 



12th, 3d Mo. — Some sentiments dropped in 
conversation the other evening, seemed to 
imply an idea that pride might sometimes 
operate in our religious disownments. I was 
led to many serious reflections on the sub- 
ject, and on the great difficulty of acting 
right in the exercise of discipline. 

I think I feel a warm attachment to the 
Society, and sincere wishes for its welfare. I 
see many led astray into various deviations 



138 1783. 

from our professed principles, and from the 
truth itself: but I would not have these so 
blended together, as always to put the one 
for the other, lest, by too zealously attempt- 
ing to support the former, the latter should 
sink to the ground. 

That truth remains unchangeable, the 
same for ever, we cannot doubt : but perhaps 
its modifications may be different, and there 
may still be room to put the query, " What 
is truth ?" Moral rectitude and obedience 
to God's commands, have gained his favour 
in all ages of the world. But very different 
things have been prescribed as tests of obe- 
dience, and different laws been enacted at 
different periods. A prohibition to taste of the 
fruit of the tree of knowledge was all the re- 
straint we read of, as being laid upon our first 
parents. After their fall, as man increased, a 
variety of other laws became necessary ; and 
when the Jews were selected for a peculiar 
people, it was by the observance of a multi- 
plicity of laws, that they were to gain divine 
favour. These seem to have been designed 
but as the shadows of a more perfect dispen- 
sation yet to be revealed; under favour of 
which we now rejoice in the hope of im- 
mortality. Moral rectitude, and obedience 



1783. 139 

to the inward manifestations of light, as now 
revealed, remain essentially necessary duties, 
and what we may, with safety, press home 
upon all mankind. But much greater care 
is necessary in endeavouring to enforce upon 
others the opinions and doctrines of men, 
even though we may have the strongest 
evidence to believe that they were guided 
by divine counsel. 

It does not appear to me, that even the re- 
putation of our Society is likely to be in- 
creased, by a rigorous exertion of discipline. 
Many may be cast out, who are, as it were, 
halting between two opinions, and who, in 
time, might be turned into a safer path. 
Others might quit us with anger, though, 
probably, without reluctance; and some, 
under an hypocritical garb, would, by the 
obvious improprieties of their conduct, bring 
more dishonour upon the Society, than all 
the outgoings of others. 

17th, 3d Mo. — I often love to take a review 
of my life, and traverse over its various scenes, 
from an early period to the present time. The 
more I contemplate it, the more forcibly I 
see the necessity of humility, and of guarding 
against all self-righteousness or exaltation. 



140 178S. 

There is nothing I more fervently pray for, 
than to be kept in an humble dependance on 
the Supreme Being-; earnestly desiring to feel 
my mind covered with that charity, which 
sincerely wishes the welfare of all mankind, 
and that they maybe gathered under the wing 
of Divine love. I think there is no part of 
my life to which I can look back, wherein I 
may not acknowledge that my mind was 
under religious impressions; yet, at some 
times they have been more powerful than at 
others ; and, perhaps, at none stronger, than 
when I was led into the path of great self- 
denial, and a more perfect acquiescence in 
our professed religious opinions. 

The judgment we can form of others, is 
often superficial. Their inward purification 
may be going forward, whilst a concurrence 
of outward circumstances may rather lead us 
to an apprehension that they are losing that 
ground, which they had once conquered. 
Many deep probations are necessary for 
some minds, before they acquire a right view 
of things, and learn to estimate themselves 
as they really are: whatever tends to pro- 
mote humility, and an entire resignation and 
submission of will to the Divine Being, is 
evidently for our benefit. 



1783. 141 

25th, 3d Mo.— I believe many people are 
hardly aware how much they are indebted, 
for what may be esteemed their virtue and 
prudence, to being placed in some degree out 
of temptation. Self-applause seems so na- 
tural to the human mind, that we can hardly 
be too careful in our endeavours to watch 
against it. If we consider that we only know 
how we should act in those stations in which 
we have been tried, and that respecting all 
others we can only form conjectures ; at the 
same time remarking the many deficiencies in 
our own conduct, which, with all our self- 
flattery, must appear conspicuous ; it will cer- 
tainly lead us to greater charity and humility, 
and less severity in censuring the failings of 
others, who may have many allurements to 
vice or improprieties, with which we have 
been happily unacquainted. Indeed, with 
regard to ourselves, we dare not look forward 
to the future, and say that we shall act with 
as much propriety as even we have hitherto 
acted. The only ground of hope is not by a 
dependance on our own strength and abilities ; 
but by humbly seeking that divine Power 
which alone can enable us to walk forward 
with safety. I think, I may say, the more I 
increase in years, the more ardently I pray 
to be kept in a meek and humble frame of 



142 1783. 

mind. It preserves us from many dangers, and 
is, indeed, the foundation for the greatest hap- 
piness we can attain, respecting- this present 
life. For whoever has experienced the con- 
flict of passions, of envy, emulation, ambition 
and a thirst of praise, though they may have 
been in part gratified, yet will readily acknow- 
ledge that they have made a happy exchange, 
if ever they come to experience the tranquil- 
lity arising from a meek and humble spirit. 

I believe it rarely happens that those who 
are least serious, form an idea of enjoying 
the happiness of heaven with all those pas- 
sions within them. They rather look for- 
ward to it, as a state of purity and holi- 
ness, wherein they shall be freed from all 
those restless pursuits and anxieties that 
now attend them. Could they but be per- 
suaded that the nearer they draw toward that 
heavenly state, the nearer they draw to real 
and substantial happiness, they would surely 
be prevailed upon to begin their progress 
towards it. But temptations on the one hand 
or the other too often shut out this faith, and 
they indulge the hope of as sudden a tran- 
sition in all the affections of the soul, as there 
appears to be from life to death, in the state 
of the body. Yet every thing we can observe 
will, I think, lead to the conviction that our 



1783. 143 

minds are in a progressive state, and that we 
advance but by slow degrees in the road to 
perfection. Whether we can ever arrive at 
it in this life, in the full acceptation of the 
word, seems but a vain inquiry, since, if ever 
we fancied we had got there, we must be in 
an exceedingly dangerous situation. But it 
is our interest, as well as our duty, to press 
after it as fast as we can, knowing that our 
continuance here is very uncertain, and that 
we cannot be partakers of a state of unmixed 
felicity without purity of heart. Moral laws, 
and moral righteousness, are acceptable in 
the sight of God, and highly beneficial to 
mankind. But it is the soul refined, freed 
from all earthly pollutions, devoted to the 
will of God, and thirsting for the enjoyment 
of his presence, that prepares us for the full 
fruition of that heavenly happiness which 
must consist in our union with God : and 
wherein, as we advance nearer and nearer to 
perfection, we may probably experience a 
change from glory to glory, till we arrive at 
the most consummate happiness that can be 
enjoyed by created beings. 

12£/j, 1th Mo. — Jealousy is a very torment- 
ing passion of the human mind; and if in- 
dulged, must inevitably destroy domestic hap- 



144 1783. 

piness. That jealousy which is felt by a 
husband or wife, from an apprehension of 
their partner's affections being engaged with 
some other object, is not what comes under 
my present idea; but rather those more 
trifling circumstances which frequently ex- 
tend to family and friends, and occasion the 
heartburnings and want of harmony, which 
we often see cause to lament. Persons who 
entertain notions that they are not treated 
with proper respect or proper confidence, are 
continually seeking out to themselves sources 
of uneasiness : they catch at every shadow, 
and picture it into a reality ; and though 
their friends, who love and respect them, may 
wish to guard against giving them offence, 
yet it requires so much vigilance and atten- 
tion, and after all their care, sometimes so 
undesignedly happens, that the generality are 
much more likely to give it up entirely. If 
we would consult our own happiness and 
peace of mind, we must endeavour to get the 
better of these irritable feelings, which, if 
we search into their true source, I believe 
we shall be obliged to acknowledge spring 
from pride. If, by a proper line of conduct, 
we know ourselves deserving of friendship 
and respect, why should we be haunted with 
the idea that we do not receive it, when 



1784. 145 

general observation will lead us to conclude, 
that it is most commonly bestowed where 
due. And it may not be unprofitable to con- 
sider, that a jealousy of want of confidence 
in those we are connected with, is very un- 
likely to increase it : since the real confi- 
dence of the heart, and the continual fear of 
offending, are incompatible with each other. 



1784. 

[Extract from a letter.]— 11th, 7th Mo.— I 
believe happiness is much more equally 
distributed amongst mankind, in their va- 
rious ranks, than at the first glance we might 
be able to perceive. The trials of some are 
so obvious, that we cannot help commiserat- 
ing their condition. We think of their state, 
and derive comfort for ourselves, from the 
consciousness of being possessed of more tem- 
poral blessings. Yet could we look into the 
hearts of those whom we sometimes are al- 
most ready to envy, we should probably find 
them little correspondent with their outside 
appearance ; and they would prove subjects 
for pity, equally with those whose condition 
we deplore. Some things, very painful and 
disagreeable, seem to be annexed to the con- 
dition of human nature; and I believe we 

H 



146 1786. 

shall, in general, find it easier to bring our 
minds to contentment with outward things, 
than to bring those outward things to a con- 
formity with our inclinations. The first lies 
in a great measure within our own power; 
the latter is dependant on others, and on a 
»reat many contingent and unforeseen events. 
1 have heard it remarked, that the mistress 
of a family should resemble the principal 
wheel in a watch : which puts all the rest in 
motion, while it seems scarcely to move it- 
self. I have generally observed that much 
bustle only creates confusion. A great deal 
may be done by regularity and method, while 
those who want it scarcely know how to get 
through with only a small portion of business. 



1786. 

17th, teh Mo. — " We must through much 
tribulation enter into the kingdom of God."* 
Whether this prediction was designed chiefly 
for the immediate followers of our Saviour, 
or to be taken more comprehensively, as for 
the generality of those who were to enter 
into a state of blessedness ; yet, observation 
will lead us to conclude, that many have so 
run their race, as to obtain an immortal 
* Acts, xiv. 22. 



1786. 147 

crown, without experiencing any uncommon 
portion of suffering, which the text, taken 
literally, in an extensive sense, seems to 
imply. " Man is born unto trouble, as the 
sparks fly upward."* The most prosperous 
situation is surrounded with trials of various 
kinds : but if good and evil happen alike to 
all, and if the sun shines, and the rain de- 
scends on the just as well as the unjust, there 
seems no inference to be drawn that the 
righteous are particularly tribulated respect- 
ing the outward, (excepting in some parti- 
cular states of persecution, where the above 
text appears to me most applicable ;) and 
with regard to the inward, we are certainly 
taught to believe, that though they may have 
many trials of faith and patience, yet they at 
times feel that consolation which is an un- 
failing support, and can make them rejoice 
even in tribulation. The disposition to mag- 
nify our sufferings, I have often thought in- 
creased by the prediction, that " We must 
through much tribulation enter the king- 
dom.' ' Some, perhaps, may fear that it is 
not sufficiently fulfilled in their own case, 
and therefore, instead of submitting with 
cheerfulness and resignation to the evils 
which fall to their lot, they are disposed to 
* Job, v. 7. 



148 1786. 

think more of them than they deserve, lest 
they should be in danger of receiving the 
sentence, thou hadst " thy good things" in 
this life. Others may perhaps be inclined to 
believe, that the greater the suffering, the 
greater the reward. Both are certainly in 
an error, though it may proceed from a reli- 
gious motive : for it is not voluntary suffer- 
ing or humiliation that will gain us any re- 
ward, but that cheerful acquiescence with 
the Divine will, and patient resignation to 
whatever he may allot us in our various 
stations, that will render us acceptable in 
his sight. 

l&th, 10th Mo. — Those whose minds are 
thoroughly purified, will look only with a 
compassionate eye on the failings of others, 
desirous of doing them good from the preva- 
lence of universal love ; and in that dispo- 
sition, pointing out the path that may lead 
them to eternal peace. But how hard is it 
to arrive at that state, in which we feel a 
cheerful acquiescence with all the orderings 
and dispensations of Providence towards us; 
and, when we think hard things are required 
of us, how necessary is it to keep a strict 
watch over ourselves, lest any jealousy 
should arise at the liberty of others. For in 



1786. 149 

this mortified state, there is some danger of 
seeking consolation in the idea that we are 
better than they. 

Here too, we may be led to attempt dic- 
tating to others, instead of waiting for the 
openings of that pure spirit of light and love, 
which seeks to save and restore that which 
is lost, rather than cast out and destroy. 
Many are the dangers and temptations which 
we are liable to fall into, in our progress 
towards a spiritual life : this makes it neces- 
sary for us to keep a diligent watch over 
ourselves, strictly examining the motives that 
influence our actions, and desirous that all our 
ways may be ordered of the Lord. The more 
we become redeemed from the love of the 
world, and the various inordinate lusts there- 
of, the more we shall feel true peace and 
tranquillity of mind ; and the love of God 
increasing according to our progress heaven- 
ward, temporal things will proportionably 
sink in our estimation ; we shall experience 
that hard things are indeed become easy, and 
that our delight is to walk in his command- 
ments. Instead of longing for the Babylonish 
garment, or the wedge of gold, we shall 
rather comfort ourselves that we have been 
drawn from such things ; and though the 
giving them up might be a great cross to our 



150 1787. 

natural inclinations, yet, feeling the superior 
happiness of a religious life to all the gra- 
tifications that this world can bestow, we 
shall be induced ardently to wish that every 
obstruction may be removed that tends to 
separate " between us and our God ;" and 
that through the future course of our lives, 
we may be enabled to walk in all the law of 
the Lord blameless. 



1787. 

11th, 3d Mo. — " Lead us not into tempta- 
tion : but deliver us from evil."* This pe- 
tition will be likely to occur to a mind 
awfully impressed with a sense of its own 
weakness, and under some of those painful 
conflicts which fall to the lot of most thinking 
persons in their passage through life. " The 
heart knoweth its own bitterness. "+ Many 
trials may assault us, unseen and unknown to 
our companions, or even to our most inti- 
mate friends ; and though, when under the 
sweet influences of divine love, we may be 
led to acknowledge, that the ways of virtue 
are pleasant, and that all her paths are 
peace, yet there are other times, when our 
faith and our hope seem almost ready to for- 

* Matt. vi. 13. Luke, xi. 4. t Prov. xiv. 10. 



1787. 151 

sake us, and we have to traverse the barren 
wilderness, and the land of doubt and uncer- 
tainty, assaulted by various foes that war 
against our peace, tempting us to fresh 
hankerings after those worldly indulgences 
which we have seen it right to forsake, and 
afresh perplexing our minds with queries, 
whether the Lord hath indeed, said so and so ; 
When we have passed through some severe 
conflicts, and feel the reward of heartfelt 
peace, we too often conclude the day of trial 
over ; but we may stand in need of many 
further conflicts for the purification of our 
minds ; many trials of our faith and obedience 
may be yet to come, and many dippings in 
Jordan may be required, before we shall 
come out thoroughly cleansed and healed of 
all our leprosy. Oh that in these proving 
seasons, our faith may not fail ! Let us put 
our trust in God, and pray for a renewal of 
strength, that through the influence of his 
power, we may hold out to the end. Our 
temptations are often very different, from the 
difference of our situations in life. Those 
cups are at one time very bitter, which at 
another we swallow without much difficulty. 
This should lead us to great charity and 
caution respecting the judgment we form of 



152 1787. 

others; not to expect too much from them, 
but consider that their temptations may be 
very different from ours ; and that so far 
from daring to say, that in this, or the other 
case, we ourselves should stand, we should 
rather, from a feeling of our own weakness 
and insufficiency, be led humbly and fer- 
vently to pray, " Lead us not into tempta- 
tion ; but deliver us from evil." 

5th, 6th Mo. — Oh, saith my soul, that we 
may more and more watch over our own 
spirits, and keep them in subjection. Words 
are of little avail ; we may say we prefer 
others before ourselves, and look upon our- 
selves as the least of the flock ; but if we are 
truly humble, we shall be content that others 
should think so too, and not wish to receive 
honour from men : praying that he who sees 
the inmost recesses of the heart, would pre- 
serve us from spiritual, as well as all other 
pride ; and that, even when we can look 
back with a self-approving consciousness 
that we have performed our duty both to 
God and man, by pursuing those things 
which we have believed acceptable in the 
sight of our great Creator, we may not be 
lifted up in our minds, nor think more highly 



1T88. 153 

of ourselves than we ought to think; re- 
membering that what we are, we are by the 



grace of God. 



1788. 

2£th, 1st Mo. — It has often been the ear- 
nest, fervent prayer of my mind, that patience 
might have its perfect work, that I might 
not flinch in the day of discipline, but submit 
to that fire which would thoroughly purify, 
and make me perfect and entire, wanting 
nothing. I often feel my mind impressed with 
a fear, that though I may have made some 
progress towards the spiritual Canaan, there 
should yet remain so much of the old leaven, 
as might occasion me to fall short of the pro- 
mised land. Oh, that I may not perish in the 
wilderness, or in the day of battle ; but feel 
a renewal of that faith which will enable me 
to follow the pillar of cloud by day, and the 
pillar of fire by night, and in due time over- 
come every opposition ! 

\0th, kth Mo. — Good humour is, I think, 
that habit of mind, which is disposed to 
please, and to be pleased with the surround- 
ing objects ; perhaps, not so essentially ne- 
cessary as a good temper, its influence being 

h5 



154 1788. 

chiefly in the trivial concerns of life; but the 
want of it will embitter the most pleasing 
scenes, cause fear to be substituted in the 
room of freedom and confidence, and throw a 
gloom over every enjoyment. It is a quality 
as beneficial to the possessor as to the rest of 
mankind; we should, therefore, endeavour to 
cultivate it, for the sake of our own happi- 
ness, as well as that of others ; and I am 
firmly of the opinion that much depends upon 
ourselves, though we may be sometimes dis- 
posed to conclude that it is chiefly influenced 
by things foreign. 

From the little regard for each other's 
happiness expressed by the general conduct 
of mankind, one would be almost ready to 
query, whether they thought it a sponta- 
neous production, natural to the soil of hu- 
manity, and flourishing on every branch. 
But if we hear them speak, it will be in very 
different language; vexation and disappoint- 
ment, they will say, is the lot of mortals, 
and each individual will be apt to forget 
how many unnecessary grains he adds to the 
weight of human misery. That benevolence 
and goodness of heart which delights in 
making others happy, will return, fraught 
with additional happiness to the breast of the 
possessor; and if we consider good humour 



1788. 155 

as a fruit almost necessarily produced by 
good dispositions, we shall endeavour to 
cultivate it as much as we can, and see the 
propriety of guarding against that sourness 
or pettishness, which would inevitably coun- 
teract the most serious purposes and best 
wishes of our souls. 

17th, 5th Mo. — Sentiments expressive of a 
lively zeal for the benefit and welfare of the 
Church have often afforded me subject for 
meditation. 

How far individuals ought to go, in 
the giving up their own private duties to 
fulfil those of a public nature, I would wish 
to leave each one to determine for himself. 
But it has often occurred to me, that as the 
whole body is made up of individuals, or 
distinct members, if each of those members 
performed its proper functions, and kept in a 
sound, healthy state, there would be very 
little for the Church, as a body, to regulate. 
And though the love of God, diffusing itself 
over the soul, naturally begets a zeal for his 
service, and for the welfare of others, yet I 
have ever had the idea, that it must begin 
with ourselves, and spread gradually; and 
I have sometimes thought, that the express- 
ing too strongly an approbation of those 



156 1788. 

who devote themselves to what is termed 
church service, may stimulate others of whom 
it is not required to follow their example, by 
which they may be led to neglect those duties 
which were more properly within their 
sphere, and thus make work for their bre- 
thren, whom they intended to help. 

6th, 7th Mo. — Yesterday afternoon, we 
walked from home to my mother Woods' at 
Winchmore-hill, to spend a little time with 
her. This morning, R. Jones and C. Hustler 
visited the meeting here, and we were called 
to the awful consideration that we are but 
dust; to the necessity of being humble under 
the power of God ; and of seeking a safe 
place of refuge when all temporal thing's 
must come to an end. Under that solemn 
covering of spirit which we sometimes feel 
to animate our minds, we are not unfre- 
quently led to renew our covenant with the 
Father of spirits, to pray for an increase of 
faith, and for his preserving power. Under 
this sacred influence, we are ready to con- 
clude that we can do all things; and feeling 
our minds comfortably affected, acknowledge 
his favour to be the one thing needful ; that 
pearl of value which it is worth while to 
give up all to attain. But temptations again 



1788. 157 

assail us, doubts and reasonings take place in 
our minds, and we too frequently neglect 
walking steadily in that holy fear which 
would preserve us from evil, and is the ap- 
pointed means to lead us to true wisdom. 

O merciful Father, thou who seest our 
weakness, and rememberest that we are but 
dust, assist, we beseech thee, our feeble efforts 
and secret breathings of soul to become ac- 
ceptable in thy sight. We feel that the 
spirit is ready, though the flesh is weak, and 
under a sense of the influence of thy power, 
are sometimes animated to pray for an in- 
crease of faith, and that we may witness thee 
to be our preserver in the hour of tempta- 
tion. We may thankfully acknowledge that 
we have found thee, our never-failing refuge 
in the hour of distress, and that our afflic- 
tions have been sanctified to our benefit; and 
under a grateful sense of thy favours, are 
desirous that our love may increase, and that 
neither heights nor depths, principalities nor 
powers, things present nor to come, may ever 
be able to separate us from the love of thee 
in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

3\st, 8th Mo. — " Lord, remember me when 
thou comest into thy kingdom."* This 
* Luke, xxiii. 42. 



158 1788. 

prayer to be remembered in future by Him 
who alone can make us happy, must at times 
take place in every serious mind that looks 
forward with hope, that when all the tran- 
sitory scenes of this life are past, it may meet 
with permanent felicity in that which is to 
come. And to be remembered here, as well 
as hereafter, will be the frequent petition of 
those who are solicitous to obtain the appro- 
bation of their heavenly Father ; for we 
have much need of faith and patience to con- 
duct us through all the various scenes of life, 
and sometimes feel our minds so clouded by 
doubts and perplexities, that we scarcely 
know which way to turn ourselves, without 
the kind remembrance of the Father of mer- 
cies, who, at some seasons, is graciously 
pleased to illuminate our minds, and renew 
our faith, so that through the uniting in- 
fluence of his love, we feel him indeed to be 
our riches in poverty, our health in sickness, 
and a present helper in the needful time. 
Though a woe was denounced against the 
rich, as having received their consolation, 
though they may seem to be placed in the 
midst of prosperity, and live as on the fat of 
the land ; yet a near view of them will con- 
vince us that they are often troubled as other 
men ; that they eat the bread of adversity, 



1788. 159 

and drink the waters of affliction; and that 
instead of taking consolation in their outward 
substance, they stand in need of the prayer 
of faith, to support them under their various 
probations, and sometimes through those 
peculiar trials which arise from their eleva- 
tion. In all stations of life it is necessary 
to guard against centering our minds in the 
enjoyment of this world's happiness. The 
southern lands will be but of little value 
without the springs of water. And though 
we may be thankful for the good things which 
we enjoy, yet we should consider them as not 
essential ; and that if not properly used, they 
may prove a curse instead of a blessing. We 
had need to watch and pray that we enter 
not into temptation, and whether in pros- 
perity or adversity, should endeavour to keep 
in an humble frame of mind, earnestly de- 
siring that in all our pursuits we may be 
guided by Divine counsel. 

28th, 9th Mo.—" If in this life only we have 
hope in Christ, we are of all men most mi- 
serable."* This was the language of the 
persecuted apostles, who had given up every 
earthly satisfaction to follow Christ ; and it 
is still sometimes the language of those who 

* I Cor. xv. 19. 



160 1788. 

feel themselves depressed in spirit, and who 
are ready to look back and consider the many 
self-denials they have practised for the sake 
of Divine favour. Though we are often told 
of the happiness of virtue, and sensibly feel 
that it has its reward, yet the steady ad- 
herence to it in all points will not be unat- 
tended with conflicts, which we shall find the 
need of superior strength to enable us to pass 
through. " If any man will come after me, 
let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, 
and follow me."* This could not have been 
a necessary exhortation of our Saviour, if he 
had seen that the path of rectitude he pointed 
to would be smooth and even, and unattended 
with difficulty : but He who knew the secrets 
of the heart, knew how prone it was to evil, 
and the necessity of constant watchfulness 
and self-denial, to subdue its various corrupt 
passions and inclinations, which were conti- 
nually warring against the soul. It is there- 
fore vain to expect an exemption from these 
trials; we should rather endeavour to sup- 
port them with meekness and patience, and 
endeavour to bear with fortitude even re- 
proach and persecution, if it should happen 
to be our lot. A consciousness of our own 
integrity is a sure source of consolation in 
* Luke, ix. 23. 



1788. 161 

the severest trials ; and if we can but appeal, 
as some did formerly, " Lord, we have left 
all and have followed thee,"* we shall like- 
wise receive the consolatory promise of an 
aburdant reward. 

30th, 10th Mo. — Liberality of sentiment is 
so often commended in conversation, that it 
has sometimes led me to the inquiry, what 
liberality is ? Whether it has any settled 
definition, or is only arbitrary, according to 
the notion of the person who uses it? If we 
look for liberality in the dictionary, we shall 
find it, " Bounty, a generous disposition of 
mind, exerting itself in giving largely, sy- 
nonymous with generosity, denoting freedom 
of spirit." Now, as our sentiments are va- 
rious respecting bounty, generosity, &c, and 
as one man would be apt to call that stingy 
or mean, which another might style generous ; 
so likewise are we various in the opinions 
we form respecting liberality of sentiment. 
And when we hear one man speak of another, 
as being a liberal man, we form our idea of 
the person spoken of, from what we know of 
the character of him who speaks. 

A religious man, a merely moral man, or a 
profligate, would never be likely to agree in 
*MarkjX. 28. 



162 1788. 

their notions of liberality. The last would 
call him illiberal who judged his profligacy. 
The man of common morality would call in 
question the liberality of him who thought 
the duties of religion essential ; and the re- 
ligious man would think him sufficiently libe- 
ral, who, endeavouring to fulfil the duties 
of his own station, entertained a charitable 
hope respecting others, who differed from 
him in opinion. There are some who pride 
themselves on their liberality, who seem to 
forget, that if it be a real generosity of mind 
or charitable spirit, it must operate equally 
with respect to the bigot and the infidel ; 
and that in all the intermediate stages to- 
wards bigotry and infidelity, the former has 
the same claim to their charity as the latter. 
But almost every man, in the judgment he 
forms of others, is disposed to bring them to 
the standard of his own ideas, and as they 
advance towards or recede from this standard, 
measures them accordingly, in the line of 
right or wrong. This is human nature, and 
to guard against its propensities to selfishness 
should be our constant endeavour. The 
more we feel virtue to be our happiness, get 
the better of this corrupt, fallen nature, and 
feel ourselves renewed into the spirit of real 
goodness, the more we shall experience the 



1788. 163 

extending^ of love and charity towards all 
mankind. But, till this warfare is accom- 
plished, we shall have many things to strug- 
gle with, and have need to pray that our 
faith fail not, and that we may be preserved 
in the hour of temptation. 

7th, 12th Mo. — When we look around the 
world with a philosophic eye, and consider 
the short duration of all its joys, or all its 
sorrows, we are ready to form an idea that 
they are too transient to be worthy of 
anxious solicitude with regard to the one or 
the other. But however these sentiments 
may do in theory, we have too often cause to 
lament that they have but little influence in 
practice. We feel ourselves extremely dis- 
contented at the prospect of losing only some 
of our little enjoyments, or the disappoint- 
ment of our expectations ; and if greater 
trials or vexations occur, we are too apt to 
forget all our philosophy, and gi\e way to 
an unavailing regret. We can often reason 
well till our feelings become interested, and 
we then find the insufficiency of philosophy, 
and that we have need of something superior 
to enable us to stand firm in the day of trial. 
To see, and to feel, are two very different 
things. When we only see, we think that 



164 1788. 

this or the other trial should be supported 
with propriety; but when we feel, we too 
frequently flinch under the pressure of the 
evils which we had imagined we could have 
sustained. Surely, we have nothing of our 
own to boast of; we are made up of weak- 
ness and infirmity ! 

Preserve us, O Lord, in this state of 
nothingness and abasedness of spirit before 
thee, that feeling ourselves incapable of any 
good, we may be earnestly solicitous to be 
helped by thee, who art the only sure helper. 
And under a deep sense of the many failings 
we have been guilty of, enable us to pray 
that we may be forgiven, and preserved in a 
state of unfeigned repentance and true humi- 
lity before thee. 

A consciousness of being under the eye of 
the Supreme Being will support us when 
all earthly help fails ; and if we can but feel 
that union of spirit which arises from wit- 
nessing the overshadowings of divine love 
upon the soul, it will enable us to cleave still 
faster to the Rock of ages, and to think no 
afflictions too great to be endured, if they 
are the means of obtaining the Divine favour, 
and purifying our souls, so that they may be 
acceptable in his sight. 



1788. 165 

11th, 12th Mo. — " My son, give me thine 
heart."* The language of scripture is fre- 
quently expressive of the necessity of perfect 
obedience; a giving up the whole heart, will, 
and affections, and desiring to devote our- 
selves entirely to the will of the Supreme 
Being. If we consulted our own happiness, 
we should endeavour, as much as possible, to 
arrive at this state of resignation : neither 
wishing for, nor seeking after any thing, but 
to fulfil the will of Him who created us, and 
to walk with acceptance in his sight. We 
cause ourselves many needless struggles, by 
the endeavour to serve God and Mammon. 
We want to retain this or the other practice, 
this or the other indulgence, which our con- 
sciences testify against ; thus keeping up a 
continual warfare in our minds, and exclud- 
ing from ourselves that tranquillity of soul 
which can only be experienced by an entire 
acquiescence with the divine will. But self 
is very hard to be entirely subdued. If we 
have gained some conquests, we are too apt 
to sit down at ease, as if our work were ac- 
complished ; and when temptations are again 
presented, we are apt to murmur and repine, 
and say to Him who formed us, u Why hast 
thou made me thus ?"+ But this is a very un- 

* Prov. xxiii. 26. t Rom. ix. 20. 



166 1790. 

profitable query ; and while such a disposi- 
tion prevails, it will prevent our partaking 
of those refreshing streams, which. frequently 
comfort the weary traveller in his journey 
towards the promised land. 

Oh that self may be entirely subdued, is 
the fervent prayer of my soul; that I may be 
supported through the hours of probation 
and conflict, and receiving every dispensa- 
tion as from the hand of God, be finally 
accepted of him when my warfare is accom- 
plished. 



1790. 

7th, 2d Mo. — When we feel various pas- 
sions warring in our souls, and struggling to 
gain dominion over us, we may well lament 
the depravity of our fallen nature, and may 
sometimes be ready to fear, that all our past 
labour to get the better of them has been in 
vain. But in this state of painful conflict, if 
our minds are engaged ardently to pray for 
help from Him who can alone bind the strong 
man armed, we shall find those passions, that 
may be compared to evil spirits, subdued 5 
and the Prince of Peace will establish his 
reign within us. But we must sustain many 
combats in the course of our journey through 



1790. 167 

life. We have many evil propensities and 
dispositions to conquer, many trials and 
temptations to undergo, before we are in 
that subdued state which will preserve us 
in meekness and humility. When we take a 
review of all our past life, nothing occurs 
that brings so bitter a remembrance, as the 
many faults we have committed. We may, 
indeed, hope for mercy from Him who has 
promised pardon to all upon true repent- 
ance ; but it is a humiliating lesson, to con- 
sider how apt we are to fall in the day of 
temptation, and that nothing but a state of 
prayer and watchfulness can preserve us 
from evil. We know that temptations and 
mortifications will again arise, and may well 
fear, lest we should again fall. Many things 
occur, which might teach us, " not to think 
more highly" of ourselves than we ought to 
think ; but we are too much disposed to find 
excuses for ourselves, without sufficiently 
submitting to that cleansing power, which 
through various modes of discipline, would 
root out all evil, and effectually subdue 
those passions that war against our peace. 
Have we not need to pray that our faith may 
be increased, and that we may be enabled to 
do all things through Him who strengthens 



168 1792. 

us, and will assist our weak endeavours, as 
we are engaged to rely upon Him, and trust 
in his supporting arm. 



1792. 

22d, 1st Mo.— When the days of the feast- 
ing of Job's children were gone about, he 
sent and sanctified them, and offered burnt 
offerings for them, lest they should have 
sinned and cursed God in their hearts : the 
text adds, " Thus did Job continually."* 
This account seems very expressive of the 
religious care of Job for his children : and I 
believe the same care rests upon the minds 
of many parents in this day, who would gladly 
make offerings for their children lest they 
should have deviated from right, and who 
feel an anxious solicitude that they may be 
preserved in the hour of temptation, and 
enabled to walk forward in righteousness 
before the Lord. How to guide and instruct 
them in this path, how far to indulge, and 
where to restrain, are subjects of frequent 
inquiry in the mind of an anxious parent. 
And may we not hope that parents will be 
so far enlightened, that they may be capaci- 
* Job, i. 5. 



1792. 169 

tated to give right instructions, and that 
their endeavours properly to train their ten- 
der offspring, will be (in some measure at 
least) blessed with success. Under these im- 
pressions, I have sometimes felt a wish to 
address my children, and made some attempts 
towards it ; but my ability has been hitherto 
so inadequate ta my wishes, that I seem ready 
now to give it up, and only transcribe a few 
sentiments, which some time ago occurred to 
my mind. 

My dear children, I often feel an anxious 
solicitude for your welfare, both in time and 
in eternity; and what I can do to promote 
it, is an inquiry that frequently accompanies 
my mind. Sensible of the uncertainty of 
time, and doubtful whether I may have the 
opportunity of giving much verbal instruc- 
tion, I have sometimes felt drawings in my 
mind to leave a few sentences behind me, and, 
if possible, point out what may conduce to 
your lasting peace and satisfaction. The 
fear of making religion a burden has pre- 
vented me from much conversation on the 
subject: till we love religion, we have very 
little relish for such conversation, and unless 
the youthful mind feels some touches of di- 
vine love, and desires to do that which is 
right in the sight of God, I believe all that 

i 



170 1792, 

we can do will avail but little. Yet I think 
I may say, that I have watched over you with 
desires, that I might not neglect any oppor- 
tunities of impressing your tender minds with 
useful and important truths, dropping here 
a little, and there a little, whenever there 
appeared any opening. 

Religion took hold of my mind at an early 
period, and has been my solace through life. 
I believe many are the objects of its impres- 
sions, but temptations are often too powerful 
for its restraints; and the youthful mind, de- 
lighting in liberty, is endeavouring to throw 
them off. But be assured, my dear children, 
that there is no real happiness without the 
approbation of our own consciences, and that 
approbation can only arise from the endea- 
vour to pursue virtue in all our actions. If 
we practise little wilful deviations from the 
paths of rectitude, the temptations to greater 
will succeed, and we shall probably be led 
farther into the line of immorality than we 
at first intended. We should early endeavour 
to cherish every thing in ourselves that is 
j;ood, and carefully abstain from all evil : 
never saying, even within ourselves, this, 
that, or the other little thing is of no conse- 
quence, if it in the least infringes on our ap- 
prehensions of duty ; for it is step by step, 



1792. 171 

that many are led on into those paths of vice 
and folly, from which it is very difficult to 
return. Never be afraid of weighing your 
actions, and searching their motives to the 
bottom : if you are disposed to do right, there 
can be no bar to examination ; and if we feel 
a wish to shun it, we may consider it as a 
certain proof that we are wrong. 

Respecting recreations, it seems very dif- 
ficult to draw any positive line. Every em- 
ployment practised solely for amusement, 
(even a ride or a walk) may come under that 
denomination ; and between the innocent and 
the vicious there are many gentle gradations. 
We maybe always certain that we have gone 
too far, when our minds become so dissipated, 
that they are incapable of returning to any 
serious employment, or the practice of any 
private or social duty: or, if we cannot look 
back with a belief that we have been indulg- 
ing ourselves in those things only, which are 
not disapproved by Him who sees the inmost 
recesses of the heart, as well as our more 
public actions. If we are afraid to examine 
our conduct, and wish to hide ourselves from 
ourselves, it is a certain proof that we mean 
to continue in the indulgence of such things 
as will not bear a strict scrutiny, and must 
be consequently in an unsafe state. Neither 



172 1793, 

shall we act prudently in going to the utmost 
verge of right. Walking at the edge of a 
precipice is always dangerous, and though 
we may get to the end unhurt, yet it would 
be wiser to keep at a distance more secure. 

That there is no harm in this, that, or the 
other, is frequently pleaded by those who 
very little consider the nature of the things 
they plead for, or their dangerous tendencies. 
We are placed in the midst of temptations: 
and by giving way at first to those things 
which our consciences cannot approve, we 
fall by little and little, and at last arrive at 
that state, which, when our minds were 
clothed with more innocence, we should have 
beheld with abhorrence. By rejecting the 
impressions of conscience, they become less 
frequent and less forcible. 



1793. 

17th, 3d Mo.— The state of the poor is a 
subject that often comes before the view of 
my mind, with those sympathetic feelings 
which excite the wish for their relief. We 
are sometimes told, that to give to the poor 
is an abuse of charity, and an encouragement 
in idleness. To encourage idleness is cer- 
tainly not for the benefit of mankind. It is 






1793. 173 

ordained that man shall eat bread by the 
sweat of his brow; and this decree seems so 
fully verified, that those whose situation in 
life may apparently plead their exemption, 
are nevertheless obliged to labour in amuse- 
ments of exercise, that they may taste the 
enjoyment of health. But though idleness 
should not be encouraged, there are proper 
bounds for labour, beyond which it becomes 
wearisome, and is of prejudice to the consti- 
tution. 

If labour were more equally divided, I 
believe it would be a benefit to mankind in 
general ; but while it is considered as a bur- 
den, every one is desirous of shaking it oft' 
from himself, though the consequence may 
often be that of imposing an unreasonable 
portion upon others. 

If we did but look upon the poor as our 
brethren ; equal, relating to every thing of 
importance, and beneath us only in those ex- 
ternal circumstances which are continually 
shifting about in life, I think we should con- 
sider them as having some claim to the en- 
joyments of life, and an occasional remittance 
of persevering labour. Instead of this, we 
now see the industrious parents of a large 
family toiling all day, (and perhaps adding 
part of the night,) without being able, with 



174 1793. 

all their industry, to feed and clothe them- 
selves and family comfortably. This seems 
a proof, that labour has not its adequate re- 
ward ; and though many, like some of the 
present rich, might improperly use the be- 
nefit of greater temporal accommodations, 
we can scarcely consider that as a sufficient 
argument against the propriety of an allow- 
ance of such gain as might enable the poor 
not only to subsist, but to enjoy some com- 
fort in life. 

How far there might be a possibility of 
bringing this about, is a political question, 
of which I can form no adequate judgment. 
But while things are in their present state, 
it must be deemed an indispensable obliga- 
tion upon the rich, to lend assistance to the 
poor, besides those parish charges which 
they cannot withhold, and which too often, 
perhaps, only keep life in existence, without 
affording it any other comfort. A bene- 
volent-minded man will derive satisfaction 
from contributing to the happiness of others. 
If he enjoys prosperity, he feels his heart 
raised in thankfulness to that Being, from 
whose goodness he receives all the temporal 
blessings of life; he will consider that it is 
not for him alone that the sun shines, and 
the spring puts forth all its beauties, but 



1793. 175 

that the lower ranks of life are equally the 
care of the Eternal Parent ; and that in 
the endeavour to diffuse happiness amongst 
others, he increases his own. 

The present state of luxury is by some 
reckoned useful, by increasing employment , 
but if we consider its prevalence through all 
the middle ranks of life, we shall rather con- 
clude, that to support it, many are led to 
" grind the face of the poor," and impose on 
those who labour for them unnecessary bur- 
dens, instead of that reasonable portion of 
work which should procure a maintenance. 

18th, 7th Mo. — This day, there has been a 
little refreshing rain, after two weeks of the 
hottest weather we have had for many years in 
this country. The thermometer rose to above 
80°, most days, and was frequently between 
80° and 84°; sometimes 85° or 86°, and once 
near 87°. We observed it generally rise 
higher upon being put out of doors (though 
in the shade) than it was within; the sky 
was uncommonly clear most of the time, and 
there had been a great want of rain before 
the hot weather commenced. 



176 1794. 

1T94. 

5th, 1st Mo.— A new year has commenced. 
The alarm has been often sounded in our 
ears during the last few months; sometimes 
amounting- to almost prophetic warnings. 
We have had line upon line, and precept 
upon precept, accompanied with lively ex- 
hortations, to consider the importance of 
religion, and to submit to its humbling in- 
fluence in the regulation of our lives and 
conduct. That her ways are pleasant, and 
her paths peace, I believe is in degree ex- 
perienced, as we feel a resignation to the di- 
vine will concerning us. 

11th, 9th Mo. — To watch our own spirits, 
is an injunction which, I believe, we shall 
often find it necessary to practise, in our in- 
tercourse through life. Many of the little 
trials and mortifications to which we are so 
frequently liable, seem in a peculiar manner 
to call forth the exercise of this duty. If 
we are taken unprepared, we are less able 
to withstand any assaults of the enemy ; and 
what can keep us in a state of preparation, 
but a constant watch over our own spirits, and 
a supplication of soul to Him who can alone 



1794. 177 

sustain and strengthen us ? If we use our 
best endeavours to maintain this watchful- 
ness, and have but faith to pray for an in- 
crease of strength, in due time we shall feel 
its efficacy. And though, upon application 
to be cleansed from our spiritual leprosy, we 
may not immediately receive the answer of, 
u I will, be thou clean,"* yet, I believe, as 
we patiently wait in faith, we shall expe- 
rience the purification to go forward, and 
those evil tempers and inclinations to be 
subdued, which would be a hindrance to 
our admission into the realms of everlasting- 
light and peace. But, " we have toiled all 
the night, and have taken nothing"! is not 
unfrequently the discouraging language of 
our souls. We have struggled much with 
temptation, we have taken up the cross to 
many of our natural propensities, and endea- 
voured, at times, to subdue those evil tem- 
pers, which we have seen have proceeded 
from a corrupt root, and after all, feel so 
much of the old leaven remaining, that we are 
almost ready to conclude we are but where 
we first began. Yet, I believe there is room 
to hope, that our labour and conflicts have 
not been wholly in vain : we may feel ourselves ~ 
far short of what we might have expected, 
* Luke, v. 13. t Luke, v. 5. 

i5 



178 1794. 

and therefore be almost ready to despair of 
conquering" the enemies of our souls ; but if 
we take a review, we shall perhaps, be 
obliged to acknowledge that we have some- 
times given way, instead of endeavouring to 
stand our ground. We have neglected the 
silent, gentle admonition, that has some- 
times warned us to flee from danger, at 
other times, to collect all our forces, and 
stand against it, in the confidence of His 
strength, who is all-sufficient: we have given 
way to a perverse temper, or a hasty ill- 
humour, a disposition to retaliate, or render 
evil for evil, instead of patiently bearing" 
those allotments which have fallen to our 
share. Thus have our souls' enemies gained 
strength to renew the conflict after many 
battles, and to excite the painful suggestion 
that we have fought but in vain. But let 
not our faith fail. Though we have toiled 
for a long season with so little benefit, yet 
let us renew our diligence at the command of 
the Master, not doubting, that as we are 
obedient in faith, and watchful over our own 
spirits, we shall in due time experience his 
strength to enable us to overcome, and re- 
ceive an abundant recompence for all our 
labours. 



1794. 179 

16th, 10th Mo.— My mother Woods quietly 
departed this life, in the ninety-third year of 
her age. She was down stairs, as usual, the 
evening before. Such an event must, at the 
time when it happens, be an affecting stroke 
to near relations, and we must feel the loss 
of a kind and affectionate parent, which she 
has ever been to all her family ; but we 
scarcely ought to regret her release from a 
state of suffering, which seemed likely to in- 
crease at her advanced age ; and I believe 
she has for some time back rather wished 
than feared a change. To those who have 
lived well, death loses much of its terror, 
and they look forward with a comfortable 
persuasion of entering upon a state of more 
permanent happiness than this world can 
bestow. 

5th, 11th Mo. — Yesterday morning, Tho- 
mas Scattergood sat about an hour with us, 
in the course of a family visit to the members 
of our meeting. An extraordinary man in 
the line of spiritual communications, and his 
mind evidently covered with that love, whose 
attractive influence powerfully operates on 
the minds of his hearers. 

11th Mo. — Observation will lead us to 



180 1794. 

conclude, that many people practise religion 
as a task, without any idea of receiving 
pleasure from the exercise of devotion. They 
are willing sometimes to go to a place of 
worship, and perform some religious duties, 
because they think it reputable in the eyes of 
the world, or believe that something is ne- 
cessary to be done, to enable them to get to 
heaven ; but any steps beyond this, they are 
unwilling to take. 

It is not very likely that we shall make 
any progress in religion, while we consider it 
in this light, or that we are only serving a 
hard master. Love must be the prevailing 
motive that can render even temporal ser- 
vices acceptable, and certainly is not less 
necessary in our endeavours to please that 
Being who is continually calling for the 
whole heart, and who rejects even those 
offerings which are not accompanied with 
the affections of the soul. 

If we believe in the goodness of God, we 
must consider his calling for our hearts as a 
proof that such a surrender is conducive to 
our happiness ; and I believe, if we are but 
disposed to turn our hearts to him, and 
cherish the desire to feel the animating in- 
fluence of divine love, we shall no longer 
consider it as a task to worship and serve 



1795. 181 

the Lord, but rather seek after a union with 
him as our highest felicity. 

" Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with 
all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and 
with all thy might."* " Love is the ful- 
filling of the law. ? '+ While divine love 
prevails, and we can say, under its sacred 
influence, I desire to do thy will, O Lord, we 
experience its supporting power to sustain 
us in all our difficulties, and through all the 
probations we may meet with in this state of 
existence, and have a degree of confidence, 
that though we may pass through the water, 
the billows will not overwhelm us; though 
we may pass through the fire, the flame shall 
not kindle upon us. 



1795. 

On the %bth of the 1st Mo, the thermometer 
was onl) 2J° out of doors, and on the 27lh of 
the same, 43° out of doors. A rapid thaw had 
taken place in the preceding night ; and the 
difference of climate within and without 
doors was so remarkable, that the rain and 
melted snow, which overflowed the gutters, 
and ran through the ceilings, froze as it ran 

* Deut. vi. 5. t Rom. xiii. 10. 



182 1795. 

down the bed-curtains, and formed icicles at 
the bottom, and cakes of ice on the floor ; 
neither of which completely thawed till after 
the admission of outward air in the morning : 
the following day it froze again. 

12th,4:th Mo. — One can scarcely help some- 
times making serious reflections on the awful 
state of public affairs at the present period. 
Every future prospect seems more than com- 
monly precarious, and the calamities im- 
pending over us are frequently the subject 
of conversation. 

How soon the ravages of war may be at 
our door, appears very uncertain; and the 
havoc it has already made of our fellow- 
subjects, must give rise to painful sensations 
in every feeling mind. Can we do any thing 
to avert the present, or ward off approaching 
evils ? If not, the more still and quiet we 
keep ourselves during the present fermenta- 
tion the better ; endeavouring to rely solely 
on that power which can preserve us through 
all difficulties, and support the mind in calm- 
ness and resignation, though a reverse of 
fortune should be our lot. 

" Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, 
whose mind is stayed on thee."* This, if 

* Isaiah, xxvi. 3. 






1795. 183 

we turn over the leaves of our past lives, we 
shall acknowledge to have been in measure 
experienced ; and the more our faith is in- 
creased, the more disposition we shall feel to 
be resigned to all terrestrial things ; and 
having food and raiment, therewith to be 
content. 

30th y 7th Mo.— u When I consider thy 
heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon 
and the stars, which thou hast ordained, what 
is man, that thou art mindful of him, and the 
son of man, that thou visitest him ?"* This 
was the language of the Psalmist; and when 
we behold the wonderful works of God in 
the creation, and consider how immense must 
be that power, which sustains and governs 
the universe, we are ready to conclude our- 
selves very insignificant in his sight. But, 
if his wisdom and goodness has seen meet to 
create us, we may rest in faith, that he will 
not think us beneath his care ; and when we 
consider the union of the soul and body, and 
our alliance with the spiritual world, we are 
certainly not the least wonderful part of the 
visible creation. We are perhaps made but 
" a little lower than the angels," and, with 
regard to our dominion over all other crea- 
* Psalm Yin. 3. 



184 1796. 

tures of this earth, " crowned with glory and 
honour." There seems then, no room for 
despondency ; but relying with faith on Him 
who formed us, we should endeavour to cul- 
tivate that spiritual union, which will exalt 
us to a better state. Thus filling up, as we 
ought, our appointed station in this life, to 
the praise of Him who created us, we may 
look forward with hope to a more glorious 
and durable habitation, when all things ele- 
mentary shall vanish from our sight. 



1796. 

17th, 1st itfo.— -My son, " get wisdom.' 1 * 
This was the advice of a wise man formerly, 
who well knew the value of true wisdom, 
and the insignificance of every thing else in 
the comparison. Something similar to this 
is the exhortation, Be religious, encourage 
in yourselves the love of God. Consider 
yourselves as under his omniscient eye, and 
let all your actions be regulated by that wis- 
dom which comes from above. 

This language often seems to breathe 

through my soul to the multitude, as well as 

to individuals. Through all the varieties of 

forms and shadows, and every thing external, 

* Prov. iv. 5. 



1796. 185 

I feel as if I could unite myself in the bonds 
of love and union, with all those who se- 
riously desire and endeavour to please God. 
To be religious, includes a great deal. It is 
not only to be morally good, but to be good 
from a principle of love to God, and the de- 
sire to do that which will be acceptable in 
his sight. To be religious, implies the per- 
formance of our duty both to God and man ; 
and though we may consider religion in the 
first instance, as subsisting between God and 
our own souls, yet all the various duties of 
life must How from it, and are as necessarily 
produced by it, as good fruit is produced by 
a good tree. Therefore, under whatever 
appearance, or whatever external form or 
mode of worship, let real, vital religion ope- 
rate in your hearts, and influence your lives 
and conduct. You will find it give addi- 
tional pleasure to the innocent enjoyments of 
life, afford consolation in the hours of grief 
and anxiety, and give that hope of a better 
state, the sweetness of which is the only thing 
that can make this life desirable. 

24^, 5th Mo.— Draw me, O Lord, and I 
will run after thee. This is frequently the 
language of my spirit, when humbled under 
a sense of my own weakness, and the inability 



186 1796. 

I feel either to think a good thought, or per- 
form a good, act without divine assistance. 
Still less do I feel power to draw near to the 
Father of Spirits, without some prevalence 
of that holy influence on the soul, which can 
enable us to cry, Abba, Father. " No man 
can come to me, except the Father which 
hath sent me, draw him."* This is the lan- 
guage of Scripture; and I believe many may 
acknowledge, that it is through this divine 
energy or influence that they have been 
brought to believe in Christ inwardly re- 
vealed in the heart, and witnessed his power 
as far as it was given way to, to preserve 
them from all evil, and become their sanc- 
tification and redemption. Historical evi- 
dence may tend to confirm our faith, and 
enable us to give a reason for the hope that 
is in us, with meekness and fear. But the 
history of the life, death, and resurrection of 
our Saviour, as recorded by the Evangelists, 
if it gain no other assent of the mind, than 
that which arises from the evidence of out- 
ward testimony, will, I believe, have but 
little influence in purifying the heart ; and it 
is in the simplicity of little children, desiring 
to be instructed, that we shall behold Christ 
pointed out to us as our guide and director, 
* John, vi. 44. 



1796. 187 

an inward spiritual teacher, who will lead 
us into all truth. 

" I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven 
and earth, because thou hast hid these things 
from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed 
them unto babes."* This text, taken in an 
exact, literal sense, may seem strange ; for 
why should it be cause of thankfulness, that 
the way of salvation should be hid from wis- 
dom and prudence ? What it appears to me 
to imply, is, a thankfulness that human wis- 
dom and prudence were not the means to find 
out Christ ; for then indeed, would he be 
found by but few ; but that in a state of inno- 
cence and simplicity, his power would be 
revealed, and known to preserve even the 
wayfaring man and the fool from erring in 
the way of salvation. 

On 3d day evening, the 30th of 8th Mo. my 
father departed this life, in the eightieth year 
of his age. I was in the room with him at the 
awful closing scene, which was quite quiet. 

To be prepared for the same solemn 
change, is a wish that seems naturally to 
arise in the mind from such an event. Every 
connexion in life that is thus broken, is a 
warning to ourselves ; and I believe it is ra- 

* Matt. xi. 25. 



188 1796. 

ther profitable to indulge the meditations 
arising from such a scene, than too hastily to 
turn from the house of mourning. A view 
of surrounding life convinces us that many 
trials must occur in our passage through it, 
and observation may likewise lead to the 
conclusion, that it will be more conducive 
to happiness to endeavour to arm our minds 
with fortitude to bear with calmness those 
that may fall to our lot, than to endeavour 
to flee from every thing that disturbs us. I 
am far from pleading the propriety of im- 
posing unnecessary trials upon ourselves, or 
courting scenes of affliction, which can be 
attended with no use ; but I believe, if we 
studiously endeavour to avoid every trou- 
ble for ourselves, that we do not immediately 
see can be productive of benefit to others, 
we shall be in danger of drawing the line so 
close, as to be likely to omit what might 
prove to our satisfaction. 

On 3d day morning, the 6th of 9th Mo. we 
attended my father's funeral at Winchmore- 
hill. 

29th, 10th Mo. — " God is our refuge and 
strength, a very present help in trouble."* 

* Psalm xlvi. 1. 



1796. 189 

Happy it is for us, if we can adopt this as a 
truth, in our own experience, and in the 
hours of trouble and anxiety rest our minds 
upon God, as a sure refuge, a counsellor to 
guide us, and a comforter to relieve our dis- 
tress. Few of us pass through life without 
many probations ; many trials of our faith 
and patience ; during" which seasons we feel 
the necessity of divine aid, to assist us in our 
struggles, and enable us to get through them. 
Often may the dependant soul adopt the lan- 
guage, Whom have we in heaven but thee, or 
in the earth in comparison of thee? We feel 
as if we must be miserable if we could not 
apply to God as our friend, with a confi- 
dence that he will look down upon us with 
compassion, and be our never-failing support 
in the hour of trouble. Often in the course 
of my life have I found the consolation aris- 
ing from this faith. When my mind has 
been clouded by disappointment, when I 
have looked at the past with regret, or for- 
ward with an anxious solicitude ; how often 
has my perturbed mind been calmed by cast- 
ing my care upon Him who careth for us, 
and who often out of seeming evil produces 
a most solid good. Oh that I may but be pre- 
served in uprightness, is the language of my 
spirit ; and cherishing a resignation of mind 



190 1796. 

to the all-wise Disposer of events, may I be 
enabled to be thankful in prosperity, and 
patient in adversity, looking forward with 
hope to that final period when both must ter- 
minate, and to be prepared for which is the 
only object of importance ! 

28^, llth Mo. — I have been confined to the 
house about a fortnight with a feverish dis- 
order ; during which time, as well as at other 
periods of indisposition, I have been led to the 
consideration how little can be done in such 
a state towards preparing ourselves for a fu- 
ture existence. Indeed, in times of sickness 
and debility, it appears to me that we can do 
little more than pray for patience and resig- 
nation, for submission of our will to the 
Divine will, whatever it may be, respecting 
us. Do thou, O Lord, direct, and then all 
things will be for the best. Whether sickness 
or health, life or death, thou knowest best 
what will be for good to ourselves or others. 
We are short-sighted, but thine eye compre- 
hends all things. We are weak and ignorant, 
thou hast all knowledge and power. What 
can we do but trust in thee, praying for the 
forgiveness of our sins, and that we may find 
mercy and acceptance with thee. 



1797. 191 



1797. 

13th, 1st Mo. — That God is good, we must 
believe, or be wretched ; for what can poor 
weak man look to, as a source of hope and 
consolation, but infinite goodness ? When 
we look round and behold the beauties of 
creation, and the numberless sources of varied 
blessings from which pleasure may be de- 
rived, we shall perhaps feel a ready assent of 
the mind to the truth that God is good. But 
we sometimes take a different view of the 
picture. We behold sickness, pain and po- 
verty, distress and anguish in various shapes ; 
war, famine and pestilence, perhaps, form not 
a very distant view. Whilst contemplating 
such scenes, we may be almost ready to query, 
where is the Lord ? or be tempted to fear, 
that whilst such things are permitted, his 
goodness extendeth not to us. But I believe, 
by looking into ourselves we shall be more 
ready to acknowledge the goodness of God, 
than from any outward observation. We 
have received blessings for which we have 
felt our hearts raised in thankfulness; we 
have experienced support and consolation in 
the hour of trial ; many secret warnings to 
escape from evil, and suggestions to pursue 



192 1797. 

good ; and the all-sustaining hope, that we 
are travelling to a better country for which 
this state of pilgrimage is only a preparation. 
And if upon a serious review of ourselves the 
evidence appear clear that God is good, we 
may reasonably suppose that other indivi- 
duals, in the examination of their own expe- 
riences, will come to the like conclusion ; not- 
withstanding that their outward situations, in 
the eyes of others, may appear to militate 
against it. I mean not to infer that happi- 
ness, any more than other things, is equally 
distributed ; some have evidently a larger 
portion than others ; but our sources of com- 
fort lie very much within our own breasts, 
and are often not laid open to outward ob- 
servation. 

The designs of God in the government of 
the world are beyond our comprehension. 
Of his infinite power and wisdom, we have 
evidence that can admit of no doubt ; and the 
more we look into ourselves, the more ready 
we shall be to acknowledge his mercy and 
goodness. This faith will enable us to love 
him more perfectly, and as our love in- 
creases, we shall be more and more sensible 
of his goodness, and of its extension to the 
whole human race. 



1797. 193 

2c?, kth Mo. — " Whatsoever a man soweth, 
that shall he also reap."* If this text were 
deeply impressed on our minds, I think it 
would lead to great caution in our various 
steppings through life. And it appears to me 
not only applicable to our religious con- 
cerns, but may often be seen verified in the 
things belonging to this life. That causes 
produce effects, is a position to which we are 
generally disposed to assent. If a man be 
careful to sow good seed in his ground, he 
looks forward with the expectation that he 
shall reap the same ; for though " the race 
is not (always) to the swift, nor the battle to 
the strong,"+ yet where it is not so, we con- 
sider it as something extraordinary, and not 
conformable to that, which we might in the 
common course of things expect. Various 
circumstances may occur between seed-time 
and harvest, which may prevent a man's ex- 
pectations from being fully answered ; but 
yet care and labour are generally blessed 
with a degree of success ; if it were not so, 
we should feel but poor encouragement for 
our activity in the endeavour to remove the 
evils relative either to the body or mind. 
But such as we sow we may expect to reap. 
If we indulge pride and self-conceit, the 

* Gal. vi.7. t Eccl. ix. 11. 

K 



194 1797. 

fruit we shall reap will most likely be con- 
tempt ; if we give way to malevolence and 
ill-humour, we shall find the fruit it pro- 
duces will be the dislike of those who feel its 
influence. If we are kind and beneficent, we 
expect to meet with love in return. To 
these things we, in genera], readily assent ; 
but yet we are not sufficiently attentive 
always to sow good seed. The cause and 
the effect are frequently at a distance from 
each other, and we do not properly consider 
what fruit will be produced by sowing any 
corrupted seed. Sometimes we have almost 
forgotten what seed we sowed, till the badness 
of what we reap leads to retrospection ; at 
others, we perhaps repent, after having sown 
the bad, and would do all in our power to 
eradicate it ; but this is almost as difficult as 
for the Ethiopian to change his skin, or the 
leopard his spots ; and notwithstanding our 
endeavours, we shall most likely find that 
some of the evil seed remains to be reaped. 
Often, very often, in the review of either our 
own lives, or those of others, we may trace 
good or bad effects to their respective causes ; 
and I often feel a zeal that the young and 
thoughtless might be aware of the danger of 
sowing such seed as they would not wish to 
reap ; that they would consider their ways, 






1797. 195 

and be wise, and by a prudent and circum- 
spect conduct, guard against those effects, 
which sooner or later they will be brought 
to lament. 

4£A, 6th Mo. — David, expressing his faith 
in the power of God, says, u Though an 
host should encamp against me, mine heart 
shall not fear; though war should rise 
against me, in this will I be confident."* 
This is the language of strong faith and con- 
fidence in the protection of our Heavenly 
Father. But notwithstanding the caution 
of our Saviour to his disciples, " And ye 
shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, see 
that ye be not troubled, "t I believe many 
of us are ready to fear and tremble, lest we 
should fall in the day of battle ; and when 
the judgments of the Lord seem more pecu- 
liarly in the earth, and we hear the warning 
voice to try our foundations, and consider 
how we are prepared to stand the shocks of 
adversity, we are many of us humbled under 
a sense of our own weakness, and in earnest 
breathings of soul to Him who can alone 
help, petition that we may neither spiritually 
nor temporally fall by the hand of the 
enemy, but be enabled to bear those trials 
* Psalm xxvii. 3. t Matt. xxiv. G. 



196 1797. 

and temptations which may fall to our lot. 
" Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall 
drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism 
that I am baptized with ?" was the query 
formerly. I should only dare to reply, like 
Ezekiel, to the question, " Son of man, 
can these bones live ?" " Lord God, thou 
knowest."t If I am enabled to drink the 
bitter cup, it must be through thy power 
strengthening my weakness ; for though to 
will is present with me, how to perform that 
which I will (or desire) I know not. That 
thou, O Lord, wouldst be pleased to look 
down upon us with mercy, forgive us our 
transgressions, and compassionate our infir- 
mities, is the prayer of the truly humbled 
soul. And whether we are supported by 
confidence, or depressed by fear, still enable 
us to believe, that as we are endeavouring to 
trust in thee, and to look towards the moun- 
tain of thy holiness, nothing will ever be 
able to separate us from thy love. 

lith, 1th Mo.—" A prophet is not without 
honour, but in his own country, and among 
his own kin, and in his own house. "J There 
appear several reasons why a prophet is 
more likely to receive honour from strangers, 

* Matt. xx. 22. + Ezek. xxxvii. 3. \ Mark, vi. 4-. 






1797. 197 

than from his own family, or from those 
amongst whom he dwells. One perhaps, 
arises from the depravity of our nature, 
which is apt to behold with envy an equal 
raised above us, either by temporal or spi- 
ritual gifts; another more obvious reason is. 
that the failings and weaknesses of a person 
residing amongst us, are so frequently under 
our notice, that it prevents our holding him 
in such high estimation, as if we saw only 
his bright side. This latter remark could 
not be applicable to our Saviour, in whom 
no imperfection could be found ; but I be- 
lieve it frequently operates in our minds to 
the disparagement of his followers, who 
though called to preach the same truths 
that he taught, and desirous to follow his 
footsteps, yet are at times so under the do- 
minion of a corrupt nature, that they seem 
far distant from that perfection to which 
pure religion must ultimately tend. A com- 
monly adopted language is, ' I have no opi- 
nion of such a one's religion, if it does not 
teach him to keep his passions in subjection, 
to fill up every station of life with propriety, 
to be meek, humble, &c.' in short, if it does 
not teach him to be perfect. Religion will, 
no doubt, teach all this to those who are en- 
deavouring to be subject to it ; but it is often 



198 1797. 

by slow degrees that the old corrupt nature 
is put off, and the new nature brought to 
perfection ; and whether this work is, or is 
not going forward in others, we can form but 
an inadequate judgment; neither if we ob- 
serve in a person many faults, can we judge 
how they might be multiplied, if it were not 
for some influence from religion. The pro- 
phetic, or any other office in the Church, we 
cannot suppose should be filled by any but 
those who are in a good measure redeemed 
from evil, and if such are sometimes held in 
superior honour by strangers, it seems no 
cause for self-exaltation ; and it may have a 
tendency to keep them in humility, to con- 
sider, that it may in part arise from their not 
meeting with so many occurrences to throw 
them off their guard, and that those failings 
and imperfections remain concealed, which 
are often obvious to those whom they are 
more generally with. 

At Hastings, 17th, 9th Mo. — The constant 
pursuit of pleasure, however innocent, I be- 
lieve has a tendency to dissipate the mind ; 
and though rambling about a beautiful coun- 
try, contemplating the charms of nature, and 
the grandeur of the boundless ocean, may 
sometimes lead our minds to the great Au- 



1797. 199 

thor of all, to Him who made the sea roar 
and the fulness thereof, yet we too frequently 
admire his works, without considering- the 
greatness of his power, and reverently wor- 
shipping him : being led on from the things 
that are visible, to contemplate with an eye 
of faith, those more glorious scenes which 
shall be revealed hereafter. For, if so much 
power is displayed for the use of the mate- 
rial creation, which is but the subordinate 
part, how much more glorious will be the 
display of infinite power in the spiritual 
creation, when " this corruptible shall have 
put on incorruption, and this mortal shall 
have put on immortality."* 

20th, Uth Mo.— u Many are the afflictions 
of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth 
him out of them all/'t If the righteous can 
only lay hold on this promise, who shall 
dare to say it belongeth unto me ? But 
when this text has been revived in my mind, 
it has often been accompanied with a conso- 
latory hope, that though we cannot claim, as 
our due, a deliverance from trouble, yet that 
the mercy of God is extended to those who 
put their trust in him, that he will in his own 
time pour healing balm into the wounded 

* I Cor. xv. 54. + Psalm xxxiv. 19. 



200 1798. 

soul, and sometimes deliver us from affliction, 
even when hope seems ready to fail. And 
often has the dependant soul been led to 
acknowledge, that blessings have been dis- 
pensed to us in the form of afflictions ; they 
have had a tendency to humble our minds 
and subdue self, and brought us into that 
state of resignation and trust in God, that, 
even respecting those things which appear 
most desirable, we can almost say, " Thy 
will be done." 



1798. 

25th, 3d Mo.—' We get forward by little 
and little.' This sentiment was expressed 
by an esteemed friend, in answer to a remark 
of mine, and made such an impression on my 
mind, that it has been often since revived in 
my remembrance with the persuasion of its 
truth. Yet we are sometimes ready to despise 
this slow progress, as much as Naaman, the 
Assyrian, did dipping in Jordan. We want 
to do something of consequence, or some- 
thing that seems manifestly to put us for- 
ward ; thus we too often neglect the little 
good we might do in one thing, and the little 
matter we might set to rights in another, 
because they seem so trifling, as to be hardly 






1T98. • 201 

worth our attention ; not sufficiently consi- 
dering that every little will bring us for- 
ward, though by almost imperceptible de- 
grees ; and that if we neglect these small 
advancements, we shall be in danger of fall- 
ing by little and little, in the same proportion 
that we might otherwise have got forward. 
Every conquest that we gain over ourselves, 
every effort of the mind to cleave to the 
good and avoid the evil, even though it be 
but in little things, is accompanied with 
some efficacy ; and if we are habituated to 
constant discipline and watchfulness, we shall 
find an increase of strength beyond what we 
could expect. 

25th,5th Mo. — " Ye know not what manner 
of spirit ye are of,"* was the gentle reproof 
to the disciples formerly; and may we, in our 
turn, who are disposed to censure, endeavour 
to weigh well what spirit we are of, and keep 
down a disposition to retaliate ! 

Evidence is continually arising, that weak- 
ness is ours ; and if the decree is constantly 
going forth, cut off, cut off, till nothing but 
what is whole and sound remains, I believe 
the reduction will be to a small number in- 
deed : and how often have we cause to lament, 

* Luke. ix. 55. 

k5 



202 1798, 

that those most zealous to pull the mote out 
of a brother's eye, are seen by impartial ob- 
servers, to have a beam in their own. How 
consolatory to some minds, was the expres- 
sion of a friend, this morning, that the end or 
design of discipline was to reclaim. Sensible 
of the benefit accruing- to young minds from 
a religious education, and firmly persuaded 
of the advantages arising from many of the 
restrictions of our Society, some of us who 
are parents, cannot but regret the disposition 
prevalent in some friends, to draw the cords 
of discipline so tight, as to endanger the ex- 
clusion of our families from membership in 
that communion, where we have believed 
them surrounded by a particular hedge of 
preservation, from many of the temptations 
to which others are more exposed. 

I believe there are some of us who may 
have wished for more conformity in our chil- 
dren, to the simplicity of appearance amongst 
friends, from a belief in the propriety of it, 
and its tendency to preserve them from many 
snares, who can yet conscientiously say, that we 
have notseen it right to impose positive restric- 
tions, or exert an undue influence over them. 

24^, 6th Mo.—" Good is the word of the 
Lord which thou hast spoken." — u Is it not 









1798. 203 

good, if peace and truth be in my days ?"* 
This was the language of Hezekiah, when 
forewarned by the prophet Isaiah, of the 
dreadful calamities that should befal his 
posterity. How different often are the feel- 
ings of my mind, when I consider the per- 
turbed state of things in the present day ! I 
seem as if I could cope with many evils my- 
self, if I could but see the prosperity of my 
descendants ; yet I dare not for them, any 
more than for myself, covet riches or long life. 
I rather feel desirous that they may be pre- 
served in that state most conducive to their 
good ; not possessed of such riches as may 
make them in danger of being lifted up, and 
forgetting God, the author of all their bless- 
ings, nor in that state of poverty which is 
hard to be borne, and may tempt them to de- 
viate from integrity of conduct. Resigna- 
tion to the all-wise Disposer of events, re- 
specting our children as well as ourselves, is 
a desirable attainment. But it is difficult to 
consider ourselves as pilgrims and sojourners 
on the earth, having here no continuing city. 
Often, when we are favoured to see what our 
state should be, we may lament how far dis- 
tant Ave are from it : yet, if we can but say, 
we are, through divine assistance, endeavour- 

* II Kings, xx. 19. 



204 1799. 

ing to press after the mark, we may hope 
that we shall meet with acceptance from 
Him who knows our infirmities, and remem- 
bers that we are but dust. 



1799. 

ls£, 2d Mo. — Often are our fairest pros- 
pects of satisfaction blasted in a moment. 
We see, and sometimes feel, that nothing 
here is permanent ; yet, though we can mo- 
ralise on the subject, we seem scarcely able 
to support the shock, when the reality comes 
home to ourselves. May we profit by the 
sufferings allotted us, is frequently the prayer 
of my soul; and whether we drink the bitter, 
or enjoy the sweet, may we receive either as 
from the hand of a merciful Father, and 
with true, patient submission, adopt the lan- 
guage of Him, whose example we ought to 
follow, " Not my will, but thine be done." 

Very little room is there for those who 
have families, to suppose that their cares will 
lessen as their children grow up and settle 
for themselves : often, I believe, there is an 
increase of care and anxiety to those who 
wish to render themselves useful, and take 
an active part in life ; and without interest- 






1799. 205 

ing ourselves in the welfare and happiness 
of others, how insipid must every thing ap- 
pear respecting this world ! 

3d Mo.— The love of liberty and inde- 
pendence is strongly implanted in the human 
mind. How far it should be indulged in the 
education and conduct of youth, will, by many 
people, be differently determined. Some 
parents throw the reins on the necks of their 
children at a very early period, and hold 
them with a very slack hand ; while others 
seem scarcely willing to loosen them a little, 
so long as they are able to keep hold of them. 
Either extreme, I believe, is prejudicial. 
Too tight a curb sometimes makes young 
people fret under it, and produces an impa- 
tience to be entirely free, when more gentle 
discipline might have produced submission. 

Little benefit can arise from mere compul- 
sion, either in doing or forbearing, further 
than as it may gain time for the understanding 
and judgment to ripen ; and if they can be 
kept in the practice of good, and preserved 
from evil, till that time, it will be a great 
point gained. The body acquires strength, 
and the power of its own movements, but by 
slow degrees; and the mind still more slowly : 
both want the assistance of superior strength 



206 1799. 

and intellect, to bring them forward, and in- 
struct them in the means necessary to attain 
the end they aim at. 

I believe there are few who are arrived at 
years of maturity, who, in lookingback, could 
wish to have been in a state of absolute 
liberty at a very early period. We may 
observe many instances where the effects of it 
are to be lamented. And the consideration 
that effects will follow causes, and often such 
effects from early imprudence, as cannot be 
remedied through future life, should be an 
inducement to parents to exert all their in- 
fluence to guard their children, as much as 
possible, from those things which have a ten- 
dency to evil : it may be impossible to do it 
wholly, without incurring the danger of 
greater evil, and we should endeavour, as 
their years increase, rather to enlighten their 
judgments than exercise authority. A thief, 
or a liar, however sincerely he may repent of 
his misconduct, will find it a long while be- 
fore he can gain that confidence and esteem, 
which, as a virtuous character, he would al- 
ways have enjoyed. The considering part 
of the world, knowing how difficult it is to 
eradicate the root of evil, will not hastily 
depend upon that tree bringing forth good 
fruit, which has been accustomed to bring 



1799. 207 

forth bad. There is too much deception in 
the world for us immediately to credit every 
appearance, and many proofs of repentance 
and amendment will be requisite, before con- 
fidence can be re-established. It is in some 
degree the same with faults of less magnitude. 
If repentance could immediately set all our 
failings to rights, it would perhaps not be of 
equal importance to guard against them ; but 
very often no repentance or future conduct 
can rectify the effects our errors have pro- 
duced ; and things are so dependant on each 
other, that we may have to mourn through 
our future lives the errors and mistakes of 
our youth. A man's principles and practice 
have often an influence entirely beyond his 
power and control : if they have been bad, 
and he come to a state of repentance, he may 
mourn their baneful effects through his future 
life, when, perhaps, all his efforts can do but 
little in setting them to rights. This view 
of things should not lead us to continual fear 
and irresolution respecting the guidance of 
our children. Having once weighed matters 
well, considered the evil and the good, and 
sought the best advice, we should endeavour, 
either in restraint or indulgence, to pursue 
our best judgment, and trust to the event. 
But we should take care that selfishness, or 



208 1799. 

our own gratification does not predominate 
in influencing- the conduct of our children; 
more particularly that other motives are not 
held forth, while the true one is concealed. 
They will soon see through deceptions of this 
sort, and may be led to suspicion in cases 
where zeal for their good solely operates. 

25th, kth Mo.— -Many are the seasons of 
anxiety and solicitude we have to pass 
through in this state of existence, and how 
far they may be profitable or necessary to our 
well-being we know not. Of one thing we 
may rest assured, that we are under the 
government of a wise and good Being, who 
knows much better what is good for us than 
we do ourselves ; and perhaps scarcely any 
of us can take a retrospective view of our 
own lives, without acknowledging that mercy 
has been mixed with j udgment, and that, even 
in seasons when we have been most tried, he 
has sometimes been graciously pleased to 
pour in the balm of consolation. 

12th, 5th Mo.— We live but to die, seems a 
motto written in my mind, and which has fre- 
quently of late been brought before my view. 
Those whose lives are most desirable, have ■ 
frequently the thread of their existence cut 



1799. 209 

at an early period, whilst the less useful and 
the less virtuous remain longer on the stage. 
But we may remember, that those who are 
most fit to live, are most fit to die, and con- 
sole ourselves with the thought that if such 
go, it is to enjoy a better inheritance. 

12th, 6th Mo.— Last 4th day, attended 
our monthly meeting as usual. It was the 
time for answering some of the queries, 
and that respecting love being preserved 
amongst us, produced (as is generally the case) 
much doubt and hesitation. I have often 
been led to query, what state can we be in, 
to occasion so much difficulty in answering 
it ? or, are other people's ideas respecting it, 
different from mine ? If, as an individual, I 
can look round upon all the members of our 
meeting, that I have any knowledge of, with 
the disposition to help them, either spiri- 
tually or temporally, as occasion may offer, 
I should not think it presumption to give an 
answer, that love is preserved, believing it 
all that the query can imply. And if, upon 
reflection, we, as individuals, feel ourselves 
in this state, will it not lead to the chari- 
table conclusion that others are so likewise, 
unless any thing is obvious to the contrary. 
But if a particular affection for our own 



210 1799. 

members, or a zeal to promote their wel- 
fare, is understood as the import of the query, 
then no wonder such difficulty should arise. 
" Be kindly affectioned one to another,"* is 
a Scripture precept; but, like most other pre- 
cepts, to be useful, it must be brought into 
common life, and habitually influence our 
conduct. Speculatively to consider it, and 
acknowledge its divine origin, will do but 
little good: it must be ready on every occa- 
sion to operate as an antidote to self-love; 
and when we feel a disposition to take 
offence, or think ourselves in any respect 
injured, if we did but allow ourselves a mi- 
nute's recollection, and consider how far we 
were fulfilling the precept, it would have a 
tendency to calm our disturbed minds, lead 
us to contemplate with pity, rather than 
anger, the weaknesses of human nature, and 
excuse the failings of each other with bro- 
therly love. 

Here we should feel that charity, which 
is disposed to cover the multitude of sins; 
and to be kindly affectioned one to another, 
would flow from it as a stream from the 
fountain. 

Many are the warnings we have, that this 
frail tabernacle is wearing out by degrees, 

* Rom. xii. 10. 






1799. 211 

even though we may enjoy a good share of 
health and strength. Should it not lead us 
to consider how far we are prepared for its 
final dissolution ? To endeavour as far as 
we are able to set to rights what has been 
amiss, and press forward towards the mark 
of the prize of our high calling. 

3d, llth Mo. — The corruption of human 
nature is a subject that has been much dwelt 
on by some writers, particularly by two late 
authors. By others it has been controverted : 
partly on the ground of its being derogatory 
to the glory of Him who created us, by de- 
basing human nature ; and that to find fault 
with the building, is only another way of 
finding fault with the architect. Perhaps 
seriously to consider our state, may be al- 
ways profitable, but rather let us consider 
it as it is, than as our mighty wisdom may 
see meet it should be. The depravity of 
mankind in general, in a greater or less de- 
gree, is too obvious to be controverted : and 
I believe, if we take a review of ourselves, 
and candidly appeal to our own feelings, we 
shall acknowledge that we cannot look back 
to the period when we could say, that we 
had no evil thoughts, and no propensities to 
evil. 



212 1799. 

If, from the earliest period of remem- 
brance, we were not free from corruption, it 
seems to afford a strong presumptive proof 
that it is interwoven in our nature. But if 
we inherit corruption, we are assured that 
grace is given to us to counteract its opera- 
tions : that the evil begins to work, no sooner 
than its antidote is at hand. And perhaps 
this is most conducive to our happiness, and 
best calculated to prepare us for a happy im- 
mortality, the original and continued de- 
sign of our present state of existence. Ac- 
cording to the Scripture account, man was 
but a short time in Paradise, before he fell 
by a transgression of the divine law. 

Even in this state, wherein the Almighty 
pronounced that all was good, our first pa- 
rents, before the entrance of actual sin and 
death, were no doubt (though in a state of 
innocence) in some degree weak and help- 
less, or they would not so soon have forfeited 
their happy situation, by yielding to the first 
temptation. And may we not suppose that 
our all-wise Creator, who sees through futu- 
rity, and knoweth all things, foresaw that 
the fall of man, with the antidote already 
prepared, even u The Lamb slain from the 
foundation of the world,"* would best an- 
* Revelations, xiii. 8. 



1799. 213 

swer his gracious designs respecting us, in 
preparing us for glory, honour, and immor- 
tality. 

The fall of man is a standing lesson to us 
not to endeavour to be wise beyond what our 
Maker designed us, nor to trust in our own 
strength ; but humbly apply to Him, who is 
ever willing to lend succour to his dependant 
creatures, and simply fulfil his commands, 
though they may appear to militate against 
our preconceptions of what might be for our 
benefit. A firm faith and reliance on God, 
with the persuasion that this probationary 
state is adapted to promote our final happi- 
ness hereafter, is the only thing that recon- 
ciles us to either the physical or moral evil 
that is in the world. We may fancy that He 
who has all power, could have made us better 
and happier than we are at present: that, in 
short, we might have been angels instead of 
men. But we who are formed, can very little 
enter into the designs of the Former, further 
than he is pleased to reveal them ; and Scrip- 
ture, reason, and our own feelings, all unite 
in leading us to the conviction, that so much 
has been done for us, that we may rest secure 
in the faith, that He who formed man still 
careth for him, and imparts that grace and 
strength which will enable him to struggle 



214 1800. 

with, and, in due time, to overcome the cor- 
ruptions of nature, and make us more than 
conquerors through Him that loved us. 

1800. 

12th, 3d Mo.— u Lord, I have loved the 
habitation of thy house, and the place where 
thine honour dwelleth."* Whether engaged 
in the necessary business of life, or in the 
gratification of its innocent enjoyments, the 
immortal spirit that thirsteth for God, re- 
turns to him again, as its proper centre. As 
the dove sent forth from the ark, before 
the waters were dried up, could find no rest 
for the sole of her foot, and returned to it 
again, so we, after our various excursions, 
find nothing solid to rest on, and return again 
to Him who is the only sure resting-place. 

And will it not be wisdom, sometimes to 
inquire whether, in our various excursions, 
we have kept within the prescribed limits of 
the holy inclosure, lest, by stepping beyond 
the bounds, we should get entangled in the 
floods of temptation that surround us, and be 
scarcely able to find our way back to our 
Father's house. That every word and 
thought may be brought into judgment, and 
our sins blotted out from the book of remem- 

* Psalm xxvi. 8. 



1800. 215 

brance, must be the prayer of every devout 
soul. 

Sensible, O Lord, that we have none in 
heaven but thee, nor in the whole earth, in 
comparison of thee, we look forward with 
earnest hope and expectation, that when 
these frail bodies are laid in the dust, we 
may have a dwelling-place with thee for 
ever ; in that habitation which our souls 
have loved, and which we have considered 
as our chiefest good. 

6th, 5th Mo. — Yesterday, we went to 
Winchmore-hill, to the interment of our 
dear little one,* and remain, with painful 
anxiety, watching the progress of the same 
disease in her father. 

9th. — The prospect of his recovery is a 
subject for thankfulness ; and often in our 
most trying seasons we have to acknow- 
ledge that mercy is mixed with judgment, 
or perhaps we should rather say, with our 
afflictions ; for we are too short-sighted to 
distinguish the one from the other, relative 
to any thing in this world ; and I think 
I never felt liberty to put up an unquali- 
fied prayer for the life of those most dear 

* A grandchild of the writer. 



216 1800. 

to me, believing that I should pray for I 
knew not what ; perhaps for evil to them, 
as well as to myself. 

18^.— 

" Friends counsel quick dismission of our grief: 
" Mistaken kindness ! our hearts heal too soon. 
" Are they more kind than He who struck the blow ? 
" Who bid it do his errand in our hearts." 

And what is the errand it should accomplish 
in my heart ? What counsel does it give ? 
What instruction does it convey ? The above 
lines have been often brought to my recol- 
lection, and I have wished to let the query 
sink deep into my mind. 

The uncertainty of this world's happiness, 
and the awfulness of futurity, are subjects 
that I often ponder. They are now feelingly 
brought before me : not as a new or a strange 
thing, but such as are frequently presented 
to our view in the course of human events. 
Do I feel myself too strongly attached 
to the blessings of life ; too apt to be en- 
grossed by its enjoyments, and occupied by 
its cares ? I wish not to flinch from any re- 
trospective view of myself, but to profit by 
every dispensation ; not to put aside the in- 
quiry, with the idea that the affliction, 



1800. 217 

though I must bear a part in it, is designed 
for the benefit of others, more than for me ; 
but I desire that every individual may re- 
ceive with resignation, the allotted portion, 
and endeavour to profit therewith. Not by 
encouraging a disposition to reject future 
gratifications that may be offered us, because 
they may be soon withdrawn, for " Our 
thanks are cold for blessings unenjoyed;" 
but from the consideration that we are under 
the government of a wise and good Being, 
who can order every thing for us better than 
we can for ourselves, and who, we are as- 
sured, " doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve 
the children of men."* I believe it will 
always be a pleasing reflection, that we have 
loved with tenderness, any near relatives 
who have been removed from us; that we 
have promoted their welfare and happiness 
as much as lay in our power, and have never 
wanted to call in the aid of duty to stimulate 
us to any of our exertions. To have loved so 
well, must make the parting bitter; but the 
feelings of regret where this has not been the 
case, or that we have any thing to reproach 
ourselves with, must be still more bitter. 

7 th Mo.— [Birth and death of a second 

* Lam. iii. 33. 



218 1800. 

grandchild.'] — Thus vanish human joys ! Let 
us remember that sorrows too have an end. 
If human joys are transient, so likewise in 
degree are human sorrows. An alternate 
change seems to be the lot of our nature. If 
a large portion of affliction has fallen to 
our lot, may we not look forward with the 
iiope, that brighter days will beam upon us 
in future ? I can remember from an early 
period, that the ardour of prosperity, and 
the bitterness of adversity, have both been 
tempered by contemplating the vicissitudes 
of life. Perhaps, sometimes more effectually 
than from the consideration, that " here we 
have no continuing city :"* for, however 
short may be the span of our existence here, 
when compared to eternity, yet to look for- 
ward to years of sorrow, unallayed by hope, 
would be almost beyond human nature to 
support. To submit with patience and re- 
signation, is the counsel given by philosophy 
as well as by religion: and may we avail 
ourselves of the consolation which the latter 
holds forth, considering that He who afflicts 
can also heal ; and that, in the emphatical 
language of Scripture, " In all their afflic- 
tions he was afflicted, and the Angel of his 
presence saved them."+ 

* Heb. xiii. 14. + Isaiah, lxiii. 9. 



1800. 219 

16th, 11th Mo. — On third-day morning, 
there were two couple married at Devon- 
shire-house meeting. This morning there 
were two persons buried from Gracechurch- 
street-meeting ; the latter circumstance more 
singular than the former. We can hardly 
cast our eyes around us on the world, with- 
out observing on the one hand mirth and 
gaiety ; on the other, mourning and lamenta- 
tion. These different scenes seem the allot- 
ment of humanity ; and we shall be u eating 
and drinking, marrying, and giving in mar- 
riage," until the end come. Often as my 
thoughts revolve, do I look back to last 
May-day, when the voice of mirth was heard 
in the streets ; and within doors, mourning 
and sorrow. Yet not a sorrow without hope, 
and a desire patiently to acquiesce in the 
will of Him, who, we may trust, orders all 
things for the best. And how transient is 
the May-day mirth of the milk-maid and 
poor chimney-sweeper ! They play and dance 
one day in the year, and perhaps are confined 
to hard labour most of the rest. Surely, to 
the life of the latter, we should prefer an 
early grave, either for ourselves or our 
posterity. 



220 1801. 



1801. 

1st, 1st Mo.— This day commences a new 
century as well as a new year. With re- 
gard to public affairs, how gloomy is the 
aspect with which it enters ? The ravages 
of war still continue, and without a prospect 
of peace ; provisions so dear that famine 
seems almost to stare us in the face ; even 
bread scarcely attainable for the poor, and 
it is only by extraordinary assistance, that 
they are enabled to live. But hope, that 
cordial of life, still accompanies us in our 
most dreary prospects. We hope that a 
plentiful harvest this year, will crown our 
wishes. We hope that pestilence will not 
follow famine, and that all things will take a 
better turn. And let us continue to hope, 
rather than repine ; endeavouring to fill up 
with propriety our own allotment, and pa- 
tiently acquiescing in those afflictive dispen- 
sations, whether public or private, which, 
under All-wise direction, are, no doubt, de- 
signed for good. 

19^, 1st Mo. — " Canst thou, by searching^ 
find out God ? Canst thou find out the Al- 



1801. 221 

mighty unto perfection ?"* When we en- 
deavour to raise our minds to the contem- 
plation of the One Supreme, we often feel 
ourselves lost in wonder and amazement; 
for how can finite comprehend infinite ? or, 
the creature, Him who created it ? The 
more we attempt to fathom the wisdom and 
power of God, the more we get bewildered 
in our imaginations. If we can trace him in 
his works, his designs are wholly unknown 
to us any farther than he is pleased to reveal 
them ; and when, from beholding the things 
that are visible, we are led by the eye of 
faith to see those that are invisible, we shall 
be inclined to adopt the language of the 
poet, 

" Mankind was made to wonder and adore." 

As the same sun, by his influence, hardens 
some bodies and melts others, according to 
the quality of the bodies on which it acts, 
so does the study of theology differently 
affect different minds. Some it seems to lead 
to scepticism ; others to confidence. Our en- 
deavour should be to steer a middle course. 
Not presumptuously determining what were 
the designs of Infinite Wisdom when he 
first created man, and placed him in Para- 
* Job, xi. 7. 



222 1801. 

dise ; and in his various subsequent dispen- 
sations to mankind, not deciding what it was 
fit he should do, or not do, but coming to 
him like little children, sensible of their 
want of knowledge, and willing to be in- 
structed ; desiring to walk in obedience as 
far as we know, and open to receive any far- 
ther revelations of his truth. We cannot 
contemplate the structure of our own bodies, 
without acknowledging with the Psalmist, 
that we are " fearfully and wonderfully 
made," and much less can we comprehend the 
nature of the union which subsists between 
the soul and body. Even the structure and 
growth of a plant or tree that is daily be- 
fore our eyes, how it unfolds and receives its 
nourishment, is beyond our conception ; and 
many fancy they know, with certainty, those 
things which have puzzled ages and genera- 
tions; and for any thing we can foresee, 
will still continue to involve the thinking 
part of mankind in the same perplexity. 
Will it not then be wiser to let those things 
rest, which are beyond our comprehension, 
than to enter into controversy respecting 
them, remembering the exhortation of the 
prophet, " He hath showed thee, O man, 
what is good ; and what doth the Lord re- 
quire of thee, but to do justly, and to 






1801. 223 

love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy 
God."* 

22d, 3d Mo. — Religion seems so congenial 
to the mind of man, that we can scarcely 
doubt its being- impressed by the hand of the 
Deity in his original formation. Almost all 
nations form ideas of something to reverence 
above nature: some invisible power that can 
punish their misconduct, or afford them pro- 
tection in the hour of danger. The influences 
of religion are a source of consolation to 
most minds ; and I believe, few are disposed 
to shake them off, but those who feel them at 
variance with their corrupt passions and in- 
clinations. Where there are only some faint 
glimmerings of light, we may trust that but 
little will be expected ; but where Divine 
knowledge is more diffused, a proportional 
improvement of the light afforded will be 
expected. The unlettered savage will not 
be judged by the law of the comparatively 
enlightened heathen, nor the heathen by 
the light of the Christian. This is the doc- 
trine of revelation, and accords with our 
best reason and judgment. It will then be 
wise to consider the dispensation we are 
under, and the obligations it requires ; for 

*Micah, vi. 8. 



224 1801. 

we shall assuredly be accountable for the 
benefits that are offered to us, whether we 
receive or reject them. To the serious in- 
quiring mind, we have every reason to be- 
lieve that light will be afforded ; and when 
anxiously solicitous that we may both be- 
lieve and practise what is right, we may re- 
ceive encouragement from these words of 
our Saviour, " If any man will do his will, 
he shall know of the doctrine whether it be 
of God."* To do his will by following the 
precepts laid down by Jesus Christ, is to 
obey the most excellent laws that can be 
framed to promote the happiness of mankind. 
To practise every virtue and to avoid every 
vice, to dwell in harmony and universal 
love. As we feel the disposition to endea- 
vour to conform to such pure and heavenly 
doctrines, our minds will be enlightened to 
perceive that they must be of God ; of Him 
who being intimately acquainted with the 
human heart, and all its evil propensities, 
best knows how to administer to its disor- 
dered state, and lead it by progressive steps 
to that purity, which fits the soul for im- 
mortal happiness. 

I believe we shall find it most conducive to 
our benefit, to make use of every help that 

* John, vii. 17. 






1801. 225 

is offered to us, to conduct us through this 
pilgrimage of life, this land of doubt and 
perplexity, of darkness and confusion. Every 
good gift cometh from God. Scripture, 
reason, and revelation, are all good in their 
proper places ; but if we endeavour to exalt 
one by depreciating another, we shall lose 
the advantages that would be derived from 
their joint influences on the human mind. 
Many instances have occurred of people who 
have been led astray, by what they have 
thought supernatural impulses, even to the 
violation of the lavys of common sense. I 
have no doubt, but that every Divine im- 
pulse will bear to be well weighed, and will 
never contradict our best reason and judg- 
ment. Many instances occur in our Society, 
of those who stamp their feelings very high, 
not uniting in their views of particular sub- 
jects that come before them. After all, a 
man's feelings can only properly operate on 
himself: if there is any subject on which he 
wishes to influence others, he must propose 
some motives besides his own feelings. For 
though, when we respect a character, we may 
be disposed to a serious attention to his 
feelings, yet it must be by a coincidence with 
our own, and a consideration how far they 
agree with our ideas of wisdom and rectitude, 

l5 



226 1801. 

that we shall be brought to unite with him 
in sentiment ; otherwise, we should indeed be 
led by a blind faith, which would not bear 
the test of any trial. We are at best, but 
poor short-sighted creatures, full of frailties 
and imperfections. Why we are placed in 
this vale of doubt and obscurity, prone to 
evil and struggling for good, He who has 
formed and placed us here best knows. Our 
business is, through the Divine aid afforded 
us, to overcome the evil, and press after 
the good: not by a confidence in our own 
strength, which has often been found to fail 
us in the time of need ; but by a reliance on 
His power, who has promised his grace to 
the humble, and that he will guide the meek 
in judgment. Thus, praying for a right 
faith and a sound mind, we may press for- 
ward with hope, having a firm assurance, 
that when we have passed through this state 
of probation, and are entered into the vision 
of light, we shall then acknowledge that 
" Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither 
have entered into the heart of man, the 
things which God hath prepared for them 
that love him."* 

1st, &th Mo. — After the expostulation of 

* I Cor. ii. 9. 



1801. 227 

Joshua with the children of Israel, he con- 
cludes thus : " As for me and my house, we 
will serve the Lord."* In the present day, 
there are not many heads of families who 
can come to such a declaration respecting 
their household, or even their children. I 
fear the most that many can say is, as for me, 
I will serve the Lord. Though I am very 
far from believing^ that the anxious care and 
attention of parents, who are solicitous for 
the welfare of their offspring, will prove 
wholly in vain, yet independence, step by 
step, increases with their increasing years, 
and they are often tempted to take many 
wide excursions from the path which leads 
to safety and peace. At first, the deviations 
may be small, and not appear of much im- 
portance; but one step aside frequently leads 
to another, and we see the future so clouded 
by obscurity, that we are ready to fear what 
may be the issue. In this state of anxious 
solicitude for our children, we sometimes feel 
as if all the powers of exertion were sus- 
pended, and that we could only pray to Him, 
who can turn the hearts of all men at his 
pleasure, as a man turneth the water-courses 
in his field, that He would be pleased to im- 
press their minds with a just sense of things, 
* Josh. xxiv. 15. 



228 1801. 

and turn them from folly and vanity to the 
practice of religion and virtue. Indeed, to 
say or to do but little, is, I believe, often the 
best; and where counsel or exhortation 
seems proper, it should be given in the meek- 
ness of wisdom; for any thing like compul- 
sion is so abhorrent to the human mind, 
that it often produces aversion to those 
things to which otherwise we should have no 
objection. However consolatory it may be 
to us to consider that we have done our duty, 
yet persons are little acquainted with the 
feelings of parents, who suppose they can 
rest contented with that alone. We shall 
rather wrestle with importunity for the 
blessing to descend on the heads of our 
children, and leave no stone unturned that 
may forward them in the right way. To 
have them walk in the line of moral duty, 
affords no small satisfaction ; and we may 
hope, that where the ground is not over- 
run with weeds, there will be some room 
for good seed to be sown, and that the time 
may arrive, when we shall see the desire of 
our souls satisfied respecting them. 

7th Mo.— On the 20th, departed 

this life, well prepared for a better, as far as 
we are capable of judging. Often does the 



1801. 229 

query arise in my mind, how am I prepared 
for the same awful change ? I sometimes 
feel a languor, and a degree of oppression on 
my breath, that leads me to conclude that 
my constitution will not hold out to a late pe- 
riod; and I am much more solicitous that I 
may be ready when the time comes, than to 
have it lengthened out. To exist beyond 
our faculties, or the ability to do good, 
would be only a painful prospect. 

The way to be prepared, is daily to do the 
business that comes before us, be it little or 
much. It is not always great things, or great 
actions, that are particularly beneficial ; 
but to do as we ought what our hands find 
to do. Some may be ready to think within 
themselves, u I can do very little good ; my 
sphere is too much contracted to afford much 
opportunity for usefulness." But this is 
not the point. Do we endeavour to walk 
with propriety in that sphere in which we 
move ? Do we watch over our own spirits, and 
keep them in subjection ? Do we set a good 
example in our little circle ? Considering 
the eye of Omniscience as ever present, do 
we endeavour to do all things as in his sight ? 
If we can review each day with the belief 
that we have done our best, and cultivated 
those dispositions that are acceptable to Him 



230 1801. 

who sees the heart, I believe, whether it has 
been the much, or the little that we have 
found to do, we shall in the end receive the 
welcome sentence of " Well done, good and 
faithful servant," " enter thou into the joy 
of thy Lord."* 

I think my aunt B 's expressions to her 

surrounding family, when near the closing 
period, were, " See how a Christian can die, 
with hope and confidence in her God." I 
trust, many go equally well, who have not 
fortitude thus to express themselves, or con- 
fidence to utter such triumphant language: 
who though possessed of a degree of faith, 
and humble trust in the mercy of God, find 
it more needful for them to pray that they 
may be preserved in calmness to the end, 
than to call upon others to behold how they 
quit the stage. Yet I do not mean to infer 
that it was the language of presumption ; in 
the recent instance, far from it. I should ra- 
ther suppose it arose from the strong desire, 
that others might be encouraged to pursue 
the same path, from beholding its happy ter- 
mination. Many have been the instances of 
those who could talk with composure of 
quitting every earthly connexion, and of 
feeling themselves wholly resigned to the 
* Matt. xxv. 31. 



1801. 231 

Divine will. Others may have the same 
feelings, without that fortitude or command 
over their own sensations which is necessary 
to express them. 

We often hear it queried respecting* the 
deceased, was he or she sensible of their dan- 
ger ? That nothing was expressed by the 
parties, is all we can ever answer on such an 
occasion ; of what they have thought, we can 
judge but little. Many seem to inquire, as 
if they concluded there was always some- 
thing to do at the last ; for my own part, I 
consider that as the time in which very little 
can be done. A good life is the best pre- 
paration for death ; and though if we had a 
choice, it would most likely be, to be re- 
moved from this life in the performance of 
religious acts, or serious meditations, yet I 
never can consider it of importance, being 
fully persuaded, that if we are fit for heaven, 
we shall as easily gain admittance there, if 
taken suddenly from our lawful vocations, as 
if we were in the midst of heavenly consola- 
tions. 

The account of the penitent thief en- 
courages us to hope that mercy may be ex- 
tended to the repenting sinner, even at the 
latest period. But we can little depend on 
a death-bed repentance ; and I fear, if we 



232 1801. 

have not been careful to have a supply of oil 
ready for our lamps, all the hurry and bustle 
we may be in to procure it at the last, will 
not prevent the danger of having the doors 
shut against us. 

13th, 9th Mo.— u Though he slay me, yet 
will I trust in him."* This is the utmost 
extent of human confidence. Though the 
greatest trials and the heaviest afflictions 
fall to my lot, and every thing around me 
seems enveloped in impenetrable darkness, 
yet my trust in God faileth not ; and I feel 
supported with that firm persuasion of mind, 
which enables me to rely on his wisdom and 
goodness, even though he were to put an end 
to my existence. This seems to have been 
the confidence of Job, at a period when we 
have reason to believe there were only faint 
glimpses of that future state, which the gos- 
pel dispensation has now clearly revealed. 
Happy will it be for us, if in all the trials 
and afflictive dispensations we have to pass 
through, we can look up with the same con- 
fidence to Him who made us ; for, if not 
in God, in whom, or in what can we trust ? 
If we seriously look into ourselves, we shall 
perhaps be ready to acknowledge respecting 
* Job, xiii. 15. 



1801. 233 

the past, what David anticipated with regard 
to the future, that, " surely, goodness and 
mercy" have followed us all the days of our 
lives. They have, in severe conflicts, whis- 
pered to our souls the language of peace; 
they have poured the balm of consolation 
into our wounded spirits ; and when we have 
been ready to query, why am I thus afflicted ? 
or from the obscurity that surrounds us, say, 
what doest thou ? — the answer has been in- 
telligibly conveyed to our minds : " What 
I do, thou knowest not now ; but thou shalt 
know hereafter."* 

In this confidence, O Lord, God of all 
mercy and goodness, enable us to approach 
the footstool of thy throne. Though what 
thou doest we know not now, neither can we 
comprehend it ; yet we beseech thee, give us 
faith to believe that thy wisdom and good- 
ness preside over all, and that the mysterious 
workings of thy providence are accomplish- 
ing those ends, which thy wisdom has de- 
signed. Touch our hearts with such a sense 
of thy love, that we may exclaim with the 
disciple, wash not only my feet, but my head 
and my hands also, if it will promote my 
having a part in thee. Grant that we may 
attend to every secret intimation of thy will 

* John, xiii. 7. 



234 1801. 

respecting us ; that we may go in and out 
before thee, as docile and obedient children, 
willing to be washed and purified from every 
thing that is offensive in thy sight. And 
feeling our own insufficiency, either to judge 
or act aright, we are engaged fervently to 
pray for an increase of faith ; for we are 
sometimes ready to fear that it is not suf- 
ficiently strong to remove mountains, and we 
tremblingly adopt the language of the father, 
anxious for the recovery of his child, u Lord, 
I believe, help thou mine unbelief." 

29th, 10th Mo. — After our Saviour had been 
conversing with the young man who had 
great possessions, and pointing out to his 
disciples the danger of riches, Peter says to 
him, iC Lo, we have left all, and have fol- 
lowed thee."* This appeal to our Lord 
drew from him no particular commendation, 
no praise, that could set them up with the 
idea that they had done great things, or per- 
formed any extraordinary actions. But the 
answer was simple and general. " There is 
no man that hath left house, or parents, or 
brethren, or wife, or children, for the king- 
dom of God's sake, who shall not receive 
manifold more in this present time, and in 

* Mark, x. 28. 



1801. 535 

the world to come life everlasting"."* Does 
not this teach ns a lesson of humility, and 
not to boast of what we have done, or what 
we have given up for Christ's sake ? If we 
love God above all, we shall not find it very 
bitter to give up any thing that we are firmly 
persuaded he calls for at our hands. If with 
such persuasion we do find it bitter, it may 
lead us to conclude that self is not yet suffi- 
ciently subdued ; and instead of being ex- 
alted in our minds by considering the great 
sacrifices we have made, we shall have more 
cause to be humbled under the fear that our 
hearts are not yet right before Him, who can 
penetrate their most inward recesses. 

If we love any fellow-beings with ardour, 
we seldom think of any trouble we are at on 
their account. And if we were equally de- 
sirous of pleasing the Supreme Being, and 
our love to him were pure, we should want 
nothing but faith and confidence, that we 
were doing what would meet with his appro- 
bation, to enable us to press forward with 
that zeal and alacrity which would lead 
us to consider what more we could do, 
rather than look back with self-complacency 
on what we had already done. 

* Mark and Luke, xviii. 29, 30. Matthew adds, that they 
were to sit on thrones, judging Israel. 



236 1801. 

27th, 12th Mo.—" The effectual, fervent 
prayer of a righteous man availeth much."* 
Thus stands the text in our translation. 
But, since to prove effectual, implies more 
than to avail much ; the sense it conveys to 
my mind, is, that the fervent prayer of a 
righteous man will be effectual, or, at least, 
avail much. This is, no doubt, held forth 
to us as an encouragement to persevere in 
prayer. But the query that naturally arises 
is, who are the righteous ? Who shall dare 
to intercede with the Almighty, in the confi- 
dence that his own righteousness will make 
his prayer accepted ? If we are zealous to 
have any of our requests granted, we shall 
rather pray that our own righteousness may 
not be the measure of acceptance. We can 
scarcely turn an introverted eye upon our- 
selves, without feeling a consciousness of our 
manifold transgressions. Weakness and in- 
firmity [seem ours, even when we are most 
desirous of walking with circumspection and 
integrity : and the humiliating language we 
see it needful to adopt, is, deal with me, O 
Lord, not according to my deserts, but ac- 
cording to thine own rich mercies. Yet, as 
we are engaged to seek wisdom and strength 
from Him who can alone impart it, we feel a 

* James, t. 16. 



1801. 237 

renewal of our confidence, that he will assist 
our feeble efforts, and that even the en- 
deavour to be righteous will make our 



i » 



prayers availing 



31st, \2thMo. — " Give me now wisdom and 
knowledge, that I may go out and come in 
before this people."* This was the prayer 
of Solomon upon coming to the throne, when 
the Lord asked what he should give him. 
Few like Solomon have a great and mighty 
people to govern ; but many have families, 
before whom they ought to be zealous to go 
out and come in with propriety, whom it is 
their duty to govern as a good king governs 
his subjects ; and in the best manner they are 
able, endeavour to guide in the road that will 
tend to promote both their temporal and 
eternal welfare. In this anxious solicitude 
respecting them, do we not often feel our 
hearts engaged in fervent supplication, not 
only for their preservation, but that we may 
be enabled to assist and guide them properly. 
I believe we sometimes so sensibly feel our 
own insufficiency, that we are ready to cry- 
out unto Him, who alone can effectually help 
us, What shall I do, O Lord ? or how shall 
I preserve, through this thorny wilderness, 
* II Chrouicles, i. 10. 



238 1801. 

those whom thou hast committed to my care? 
Solomon's request was pleasing to the Lord, 
and abundantly granted : and I humbly trust 
that those also who are desirous of wisdom 
and knowledge to conduct themselves pro- 
perly, will be favoured to receive it, and 
strengthened to pursue that course, which 
will upon the review be productive of peace 
to their own minds. 

In the arduous task of training up others, 
I have often found it beneficial to look back 
to the period of childhood and youth, con- 
sider what were my own feelings and senti- 
ments on various occasions ; what benefited, 
and what retarded my progress in well-doing; 
what effect restraints or indulgences had 
upon my mind ; or what influence the senti- 
ments and conduct of others. We must look 
back to the period of temptation in ourselves, 
to judge of the feelings and desires of others 
in similar situations. Not perhaps so much 
when moral duties are the point in question, 
as in those less important matters, where they 
will find people more various in their opi- 
nions ; and which ? though our mature judg- 
ments may clearly decide respecting them, 
appeared not so clear to our view when under 
the prevalence of temptation; when our own 
wishes lent their aid to blind our judgment. 



1801. 239 

and reason was warped by our passions, in- 
stead of maintaining its power over them. 

By thus deeply considering ourselves, and 
studying the human heart, we shall be better 
able to lend a hand of help to others, to 
counsel or guide them through the various 
vicissitudes of life. Let us always be dis- 
posed to query, can I do any thing more? 
rather than sit down with the conclusion that 
we have done all that is necessary. It is not 
the slothful that will find the increase of 
wisdom and knowledge : to make our prayers 
effectual, they must be accompanied with 
exertions. I believe we shall never be able, 
before the last closing period arrives, (if we 
are then) to say " it is finished." So to work 
while the day lasts, that we may be ready at 
the approach of night, should be our constant 
care ; that we may be able to look back with 
the hope that, through the holy aid of Him 
whom we have implored mercifully to assist 
us, we have done our best, and be able to say, 
" I have finished the work which thou gavest 
me to do."* 

* John ,'xvii. 4. 



240 1802. 



1802. 

25th, 2d Mo.— u Suffer little children to 
come unto me, and forbid them not,"* was 
the language of our blessed Saviour, when on 
earth. And wilt thou not, O most merciful 
God, permit all those who sincerely desire 
it, to come unto thee ? To come unto thee, 
not only for a blessing, but for counsel and 
direction, and for help in the hour of need ? 
Deplorable indeed, must our situation be, 
if we may not approach thee as a kind and 
merciful father. All our own exertions 
will avail us little, unless thy blessing attend 
them : if thou help us not, " vain is the help 
ofman."+ And under the firm persuasion 
that we have none in heaven but thee, nor 
in the whole earth in comparison of thee, we 
are engaged earnestly to pray for thy help 
and protection. That thou wouldest com- 
passionate us, thy dependant children, and 
assist us through all the various struggles of 
life. 

7th, 3d Mo. — That young people begin 
where oldones leave off, is a remark very com- 
mon with those who are advancing in life ; 

* Luke, xviii. 16. t Psalm lx. 11. 



1802. 241 

that is, children upon setting out in life, often 
adopt that style, and those indulgences to 
which their parents have only attained 
by much previous industry and economy. 
Though this plan cannot always be consi- 
dered as prudential, and indeed, is more often 
otherwise, yet perhaps it is the most natural. 
As parents get forward in the world, their ease 
and indulgences are likely to be increased, 
and it seems reasonable that in some mea- 
sure they should be so. Their children par- 
take with them those increased gratifica- 
tions, and their ideas are formed accord- 
ingly. And as we always with reluctance 
give up those pleasures or conveniences to 
which we have been accustomed, it of course 
follows that our children will adopt them as 
far as they can, and probably farther than 
the maxims of prudence will allow. These 
considerations hold forth a strong motive to 
keep our expenses in moderation, and must 
have some weight with parents, who are 
anxious for the happiness and prosperity of 
their children. For though the endeavour 
to hoard up wealth for them, will very often 
defeat the end which it aims at, of making 
them rich ; and if it did not, would perhaps 
tend but little to promote their happiness ; 
yet the keeping them in that moderate style 

M 



242 1802. 

of life, which may prevent their having much 
to give up, when they settle for themselves, 
will, I think, as far as human foresight can 
go, be the most likely method to promote it. 

The internal feelings of our minds, I be- 
lieve, sometimes carry an evidence with them 
that we cannot doubt. But let us not reject 
other means of instruction as useless. Rea- 
son, judgment, hearing, eye-sight, and all 
our other faculties and perceptions of body 
and mind, are derived from the same eternal 
source ; all useful in their proper places, 
and their testimony frequently corroborating 
each other. 

27th, 6th Mo.— To be fitted for the king- 
dom of heaven, is the most important busi- 
ness of life. What means are most condu- 
cive to that end, is a point not so easily 
decided. The Pharisee who approached 
boldly to the temple, enumerating his good 
works, no doubt thought that they would 
prove a sufficient passport, while the Publi- 
can, convicted in his own breast, could only 
intercede for mercy. The Apostle Paul, 
who, we may conclude, well understood the 
matter, mentions his care to keep himself in 
subjection, lest, after all his preaching to 



1802. 243 

others, he should himself be a cast-away. I 
believe it will be well for all who move in 
conspicuous spheres, who have the power 
and the disposition to do much good, some- 
times to examine whether their own sancti- 
fication be going on at the same time with 
their bodily exertions, and put the query, 
what am I ? as well as, what do I ? Are my 
own evil tempers and dispositions overcome ? 
Is every thing done from a pure motive, 
and in subjection to the Divine will ? Am I 
nearer to the kingdom of heaven than when 
I first set out ? When those who do much, 
either spiritually or temporally, and even 
from good motives, contemplate themselves 
with a degree of approbation and compla- 
cency, they will often be in danger of self- 
exaltation, which if not carefully guarded 
against, leads to spiritual pride. In this 
state they will be apt to look down upon 
others, forgetting from whence they receive 
all the gifts and graces they possess, and 
that though some have five talents given 
them to occupy with, others have only one. 
We should ever remember that meekness 
and humility are requisites, necessary for 
Christ's kingdom. And if we are ever fit 
for the heavenly soil, we shall certainly be 
transplanted there, whether we may be com- 



244 1802. 

pared to the humble plant of the valley, un- 
noticed except by the botanist ; or the more 
towering" shrub, adorned with rich flowers, 
that may attract general admiration. 

4£/a, 7th Mo. — Notwithstanding that it is 
right for those who have five talents to oc- 
cupy with them without boasting, it is also 
equally necessary for those who have only 
the one, to obey the injunction of the master, 
and occupy with that one. Neither envious 
at the greater gifts of others, nor depressed 
with the smallness of their own, they should 
consider that the giver best knows what is 
suitable for them ; and that if they make a pro- 
per improvement of that which is committed 
to their trust, they will most assuredly re- 
ceive their reward. 

8^, 7th Mo. — Enable us, we beseech thee, 
() Lord, to receive every thing that draws 
us nearer to thee with thankfulness, whether 
it be of the humiliating or elevating kind. 
Thou knowest best what is profitable for us, 
whether to be raised and encouraged by 
hope, or depressed and kept low, under the 
various baptisms which have a tendency to 
purify the soul. Increase the longing- desire 
we at times feel, to be made fit for thy king- 



1802 245 

dom : and check the inordinate attention to, 
as well as affection for, the things of this 
perishable world. Thus considering it as 
our meat and drink to do thy will, O Lord, 
grant that we may, by progressive steps, 
advance nearer and nearer to thy heavenly 
kingdom ; and accepting those means which 
thou hast appointed, be made fit for a habi- 
tation with thee for ever. 

\\th y 7 th Mo.— 

" He has no hope who never had a fear • 

" And he, that never doubted of his state, 

" He may, perhaps — perhaps he may, too late." 

COWPER. 

However we may sometimes flatter our- 
selves with the safety of our situation, yet ] 
believe there are seasons when fear seems 
almost ready to prevail, and doubts will 
arise in the mind respecting our admittance 
into that glorious state, which our souls 
have ardently craved. And Oh, that I may 
continue to have seasons of fear and doubt, 
if they will in any degree tend to my final 
preservation ! 

When on the verge of an awful futurity, 
every thing must wear a solemn aspect. We 
can form no idea of the place to which we 



246 1802. 

are hastening, and but faint ones of the at- 
tributes and perfections of our Creator. We 
cannot retrace our lives without acknowledg- 
ing that we have done those things which we 
ought not to have done, and neglected to do 
those things which we ought to have done. 
We have been rebellious, as well as unpro- 
fitable servants. The multitude of our fail- 
ings seems to rise up as a hand-writing 
against us, and we can almost fancy we hear 
the sentence pronounced, " Thou art weighed 
in the balances, and art found wanting."* 
That we are wanting, we must with all re- 
verence and humility own. We can only 
pray that our repentance may be accepted, 
and our sins blotted out from the book of re- 
membrance ; for who can stand before a 
Being of infinite purity and holiness, and 
find any thing to plead in his sight ? Yet 
there are seasons when hope revives, and we 
feel enabled to cast all our care upon Him 
who died for us. Upon Christ, who came 
into the world to redeem us from sin, and 
became our eternal salvation. Our hope and 
confidence are in him, as the appointed of 
the Father, to bring us to glory; who, hav- 
ing so loved the world, as to give his only 
begotten son, that those who believe on him 

* Dan. v. 27. 



1802. 247 

should not perish, but have everlasting life, 
we trust will shew mercy to our transgres- 
sions, and with him, give us all things. 

23d, 10th Mo. — There is scarcely any thing 
more humiliating, than to behold those whom 
we have been used to look to with respect 
and esteem, debilitated in their intellectual 
faculties. To see the relatives or friends, 
whose counsel we could ask, and on whose 
judgment we could rely, no longer capable 
of giving us their advice, or even of conduct- 
ing themselves, gives rise to many melan- 
choly reflections. With painful sensations, 
we contemplate the imbecility of human 
nature ; and are taught a more complete 
lesson of humility, than it would be in the 
power of language to convey. 

What poor, weak creatures we are, both 
in body and mind, is continually intimated 
to us by surrounding objects. And yet, how 
proud and self-sufficient is this poor, frail 
creature, man ! Even in his best state, he is 
but like the flower of the field, which flourishes 
but a short time, before it is cut down and 
withereth. And, to pursue the metaphor 
further, if he is not cut down in his prime, 
how often does he fade, droop, and wither, 
before the scythe of death reaches him ! 



248 1802. 

To lay down these mortal bodies, while 
the mind retains its vigour and self-posses- 
sion, has always appeared to me desirable. 
But where Providence ordains it otherwise, 
we may have this consolation, that if, while 
we have faculties, we make use of them ac- 
cording to the will of the Creator, we shall 
be received into the mansions of eternal 
felicity, whenever we are released from this 
state of bondage, though our minds may have 
been so closely imprisoned, as to be shut up 
in impenetrable darkness. 

30th, 10 th Mo.— 

" But where's the passage to the skies ? 

" The road through death's dark valley lies." 

Happy will it be for us, if, when passing 
through this dreary passage, we can adopt 
the language of the Psalmist, " Though I 
walk through the valley of the shadow of 
death, I will fear no evil : for thou art with 
me : thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."* 

* Psalm xxiii. 4. Blair considers the rod here meant as 
emblematical of a shepherd's crook, or something of that 
sort; and, from the general tendency of the psalm, it seems 
most likely to be so : but in many places David mentions 
the benefit of afflictions, and acknowledges that chastise- 
ments have been profitable to him. 



1802. 249 

" Thou art with me." This is the ground 
for confidence, and the source of consolation. 
If our Creator, the Father of mercies, and 
Dispenser of all good, is with us, his rod as 
well as his staff will comfort us. We dis- 
cern his hand in the chastisements that he 
inflicts, and are sometimes enabled even to 
rejoice in tribulation, under the persuasion 
that he afflicts but for our good ; to wean us 
from earthly things, and draw us nearer to 
himself. In the desolate wilderness a table 
is prepared for us, and Ave can acknowledge 
such an extension of mercy as to say, " my 
cup runneth over." And if, in sincerity of 
heart, and confidence in the presence and 
protection of God, we are brought to the 
entrance of this awful, gloomy passage, that 
leads us to another world, it will not be im- 
portant whether we are a longer or a shorter 
time in passing through it, being assured of 
preservation to the end. 

But as we neither know the hour nor the 
day when we shall arrive at it, nor whether 
we shall approach it gradually, or come upon 
it suddenly and unawares, it will surely 
be our best wisdom to endeavour always to 
keep in a prepared, watchful state, cast- 
ing all care upon Him who careth for us, 

m 5 



250 1802. 

and best knows what will be conducive to 
the benefit of the poor, weak creature, man. 

l&th, 11th Mo.— I know and feel the weak- 
ness of human nature, and the necessity of 
Divine assistance, to enable us to do that 
good which we seriously wish. We can 
scarcely review ourselves, without lamenting 
that much remains to be done respecting the 
purification of our hearts and affections, to 
be fitted for that habitation where nothing 
that is impure can ever enter. But it seems 
to me, as if most of us must at least throw 
ourselves on the Divine mercy, and pray for 
the remission of our sins ; though with a de- 
gree of confidence that we shall obtain it, if 
we have been desirous to wrestle for the 
blessing, through the aid of that power which 
can alone enable us to overcome. I believe 
it is often a satisfaction to surviving friends, 
to know that the deceased were sensible of 
their near approach to another world, and 
resigned to leave this : more particularly if 
their hope and confidence is strong, and they 
are comforted and animated with the prospect 
of a happy futurity. But the expression of 
such sentiments has nothing to do with their 
own state, however gratifying it may be to 



1802. 251 

their friends. And if nothing of the kind 
occur, it seems no real cause for regret with 
those who have endeavoured always to keep 
in a prepared, watchful state; often contem- 
plating the slender thread of their existence, 
and knowing how soon it may be cut. If we 
are not prepared, I often think how little 
can be done on a sick-bed, when the anguish 
of the body not unfrequently overpowers all 
the faculties of the soul. 

From youth to middle age, and advancing 
years; in the days of health and strength, I 
have been accustomed to meditate on my 
latter end; and, like the young man in the 
gospel, query, " What shall I do that I may 
inherit eternal life ?"* The days of sickness 
have, I think, seldom overtaken me, at least 
of later times, without the consideration 
arising, whether it were a sickness unto 
death ? If the apprehension were brought 
close, and a degree of resignation accom- 
panied it, I have often felt doubtful whether 
it would stand the test of expressing any 
thing respecting it; and I should perhaps 
rather meditate in silence, than enter into 
conversation on the subject. If I leave these 
sentiments behind me, survivors who are in- 
terested may know, that now, at the age of 
* Mark, x. 17. Luke, xviii. 18. 



252 1802 

nearly fifty-five, I feel the reviving' hope, that 
the mercy which has hitherto accompanied 
me, will continue with me to the end — that 
I feel a firm persuasion of the goodness of 
God, and that a religious life and heavenly 
affections not only insure to us the happiness 
of another life, but greatly conduce to our 
happiness in this. I have felt religion (a 
word that comprehends a great deal) increase 
the joys of prosperity, when my heart has 
been lifted up in thankfulness to the giver of 
every blessing. I have found it alleviate 
the stings of adversity, and administer con- 
solation in the hour of trouble. A never- 
failing resource to fly to, on all occasions ; a 
covert from the heat, and a shelter from the 
storm; and " as the shadow of a great rock 
in a weary land."* 

On the 7th of 12th Mo. my mother sud- 
denly departed this life, in the seventy-ninth 
year of her age. A few months back, when 
unwell, she expressed her thankfulness for 
the many blessings she had received ; said 
she had no solicitude to live, but only that 
she might be fit to go, when the time came. 
For this change I think she patiently waited, 
and often looked forward : and we derive 

* Isaiah, xxxii. 2. 



1802. 253 

satisfaction from the consideration that she 
had her wish gratified, in not suffering much 
pain, nor long confinement. Her affectionate 
solicitude for the welfare of her family, and 
desire to promote their happiness in every 
respect, will, I think, remain engraven on 
their hearts : her disposition to afford them 
or her friends any accommodation that was 
in her power, will long be remembered by 
many ; and the poor within her compass will 
have reason to regret her loss. 

For myself, I must expect almost daily to 
miss her, as a kind friend and parent, deeply 
interested in every thing that concerned me 
or mine ; and I seem almost to wonder at my 
own composure on the occasion. But I feel 
consolation from the idea that she is removed 
from all sorrow, and that if we suffer, she 
will no longer partake of our suffering. 
And however strange it may seem, I feel 
some satisfaction from considering that, if I 
am removed from this state of existence, she 
survives not to lament my loss. As the en- 
joyments that this life affords are gradually 
receding from us, I believe afflictive dispen- 
sations lose much of their poignancy. 



254 1803. 



1803. 

3d, 1st Mo. — Into thy hand, O Lord, we 
are at times enabled to commit all things, 
without feeling an over-anxious solicitude 
about the concerns of this world. Increase, 
we beseech thee, our trust and confidence in 
thee, who doest all things well, and canst do 
for us more abundantly than we could even 
ask or think. Grant that as we advance in 
years, we may also advance in fitness for that 
kingdom, towards which we are approaching ; 
that not being entangled with the things 
pertaining to this life, we may use this world 
as not abusing it, and seek first thy kingdom 
and the righteousness thereof. 

Thou who hast been the guide of our youth, 
whenever we have sought unto thee in hu- 
mility, continue, we pray thee, to be our 
counsellor, through every succeeding period. 
Be thou our hope and our confidence, and 
our staff to lean upon in old age. 

26th, 1st Mo. — Whilst at meeting this 
morning, the strong language of the Apostle 
was brought to my remembrance, " I can do 
all things through Christ which strength- 



1803. 255 

eneth me."* I believe the more we are bap- 
tized into this living faith, the more we shall 
feel, that through Christ strengthening us, 
we shall be enabled to overcome all the 
enemies of our souls, and press toward the 
mark for the prize of our high calling. And 
as we submit to the operation of his power, 
who is able to subdue all things unto himself, 
we shall experience those warring passions 
which have raised a tumult in the soul, gra- 
dually to subside, and be made sensible that 
his word will be efficacious, whether he says 
to the tumultuous passions of the soul, or the 
tempestuous waves of the ocean, " Peace, be 
still." 

27th. — When we hear a few sentiments 
expressed in our meetings, we are some- 
times ready to say, c this is but insignifi- 
cant, it informs me of nothing but what I 
well know.' Perhaps little that is new can 
be told us ; or little that is old be set in a 
new light : but if the call only remind us of 
what we already know, or awaken us to our 
own reflections, it may still be profitable, and 
tend to our edification. The mind of man 
seems prone to be gratified with great things. 
If to heal us of our leprosy, the prophet were 
* Phil. iv. 13. 



256 1803. 

to come out with pomp and parade, and wave 
his hand over us, we should Jike it better 
than to receive a message with the command 
to go and wash in Jordan. But great and 
surprising events seldom happen. One little 
step after another is the usual progress. One 
day after another brings us to the close of 
life ; various small particles form the moun- 
tain ; and our increase in wisdom is generally 
gained by one small acquirement after ano- 
ther. It will be in vain for us to endeavour 
to counteract the general order of nature. 
To arrive at the great, the good, or the per- 
fect, we must make use of all those interme- 
diate steps, which will by gentle gradations 
at last lead us to the summit. And if the 
step be ever so low or short, when we find 
the ability, it will be wise to make use of it ; 
for if it be but on, or towards the ascending- 
ladder, it will bring us so much nearer to 
our journey's end. 

When we take a view of the various scenes 
which nature presents to us in the material 
world, we may observe that the grand and 
sublime appear but seldom. The lofty moun- 
tain and the rushing cataract occupy but a 
small space, in comparison with the level 
plain, and the slowly rising hill ; and how- 
ever we may be struck with admiration in 



1803. 257 

contemplating such stupendous scenes, I be- 
lieve we shall return with pleasure to the 
fertile valley, by the gently gliding stream, 
and most frequently make that the choice of 
our settled habitation. For here would be 
associated the ideas of peace and plenty, and 
all the calm and tranquil enjoyments of life. 

23d, 2d Mo. — Summer is approaching. 
How often of late have I said this to myself, 
when my spirits have been disposed to low- 
ness. And has summer such powerful charms, 
that it will chase away the remembrance of 
a particularly gloomy winter? Certainly 
not; neither do I wish to have all trying 
scenes and afflictive dispensations oblite- 
rated. I believe we may often recollect them 
to our profit. But at the same time it seems 
reviving to behold some rays of light pene- 
trating through the gloom, and we shall do 
well to accept even those little consolations 
that present themselves to our view. 

\\th, 3d Mo. — If a man do not open his 
mouth in public, till fifty years of age, he is 
not likely to attain eminence in that line. 
The faculties may remain unimpaired, and 
the judgment clear; but the quick perception 
and energy of younger years will be wanting ; 



258 1803. 

there will perhaps, too, be a defect of utter- 
ance and bodily strength, and the difficulties 
to be encountered will be more insurmount- 
able. Some may suppose, that being called 
to the duty of preaching, the ability will of 
course be given. But the ability to perform 
what may be our duty is one thing, and the 
ability to rise to eminence (though under 
the same influence) is another. A man with 
a moderate understanding, or a defect in his 
pronunciation, may utter truths beneficial 
to his hearers; but if another with talents 
and abilities equally consecrated, is called 
forth into service, the effect will, in all human 
probability, be very different. 

If we look round, we shall generally see a 
gradual progression in preaching as well as 
in other things. People do not start up at 
once into the exercise of a large gift, though 
some may advance much quicker than others. 
Many seem to stop short, when they have 
advanced but a little way; others proceed 
much farther, and attain to some excellence. 

If the talents committed to our care are 
properly occupied with, whether it be the 
one, or the two, or the five, we need o not fear 
but that the due improvement of them will 
be accepted ; for where only the little is 
given, but little will be required. In the 



1803. 259 

downhill of life, I believe we sometimes give 
ourselves credit for more improvements than 
we have in reality made. As the passions 
lose their strength, we fancy we have con- 
quered them, and of course, in the review of 
life, think ourselves better than we were a 
few years back ; but this is not always the 
case ; and if we wish to make a just estimate, 
we must consider what evil propensities are 
lessened by increasing bodily debility, and 
the advancement of age, and set them aside, 
always remembering that if we are under the 
influence of that which produces real im- 
provement, it must operate throughout, and 
produce a reformation, not partial, but ex- 
tending through our whole life and conver- 
sation. 

1st, 5th Mo. — How strong is the association 
of ideas ! When will a May-day arrive, when 
I shall not think of our dear little L. ? This 
day three years closed the period of her 
existence here : but her figure, her words, 
and actions are still present to my mind, and 
the sorrowful scene I then witnessed, remains 
fresh in my memory. May we recollect such 
scenes to our profit, is the desire of my soul. 
Many are the lessons we receive, not to set 
our affections too strongly on any thing in 



260 1803. 

this world. They pass away as a shadow 
and tarry not : we also are gliding along 
with the same stream. We should endeavour 
to preserve equanimity, and look forward 
with hope to the end. Our melancholy 
musings should not lead us to be dissatisfied 
with life, but to set upon it only its proper 
value. Many sweets are mingled with its 
various bitters : and when we justly estimate 
the importance of the end proposed, even to 
prepare us for immortality and eternal hap- 
piness, we shall receive with thankfulness 
and resignation all the dispensations allotted 
to us, considering them as means leading to 
that desirable end. 

5th, 6th Mo. — This morning, went to meet- 
ing at Winchmore-hill. The last solemn 
occasion that led me there was fresh in my 
remembrance ; but I think I may say, the 
recollection was accompanied with sensa- 
tions of thankfulness, rather than regret. 
For however painful it might be to part with 
my dear mother, I think I should not have 
dared to breathe a wish to recal her to life if 
it had been in my power. " Blessed are the 
dead which die in the Lord,"* for they 
" rest from their labours." They are cen- 

* Revelations, xv. 13. 



1803. 261 

tered in that state towards which we are 
pressing after them, and removed from all 
those troubles and conflicts, which the sons 
of mortality may have yet to sustain. I 
often feel a melancholy pleasure in visiting 
the repositories of the dead. I have no idea 
of wishing to shun the place where many 
that I have loved are entombed in the silent 
grave. I like to cherish the remembrance 
of them, to unite myself to them in mind, and 
consider that the time is hastening on, when 
we shall meet to part no more. We who 
remain, stand in jeopardy every hour. Dis- 
ease or accidents may suddenly overtake us, 
which we have neither foresight to prevent, 
nor ability to cure. In the providence of 
God we trust for protection ; to His good 
providence we also trust to direct all things 
right. We often feel how little we can do, 
in preserving either ourselves or others from 
danger. We are sometimes in the way of in- 
fectious disease, without being aware of it; 
the accidental overturn of a coach, or even a 
fall in walking, may bring mischief suddenly 
upon us, and perhaps as severe as sudden and 
unexpected; yet, whatever evils may befal us, 
we shall derive some satisfaction from con- 
sidering them not imputable to ourselves. 
If our own imprudence or negligence have 



262 1803. 

brought them on, we shall have to encounter 
the bitterness of regret, as well as the afflic- 
tive dispensation. To pray for preservation 
from evils of my own making, I often feel 
the engagement of my mind. Lamenting 
the state of human weakness and frailty that 
I feel, I have no resource to fly to but thy 
protection. O most merciful Father ! be 
thou my strength and my support, and enable 
me, both spiritually and temporally, to pur- 
sue those things that make for peace. 

26th, 6th Mo.— u The lot is cast into the 
lap, but the whole disposing thereof is of the 
Lord."* This consideration may have some 
tendency to tranquillise our minds, and calm 
our spirits, when agitated with the prospect 
of dangers and difficulties that seem likely 
to overtake us. The present view of public 
affairs is an awful one. The flames of war 
are again kindled, and so much threatening 
of an invasion from the French, that great 
preparations are making to repel the blow. 
How far this will operate on individuals, 
seems doubtful, and there is great room to 
fear, that it will be attended with particular 
difficulties. In all situations, we should en- 
deavour to do the best we can; remember- 

* Prov. xvi. 33. 



1803. 263 

ing, with humility, from whence all our help 
and strength must be derived, and relying 
on the good providence of God for protec- 
tion. If "the lot is cast into the lap;" if 
every thing future seem doubtful, and we 
are anxious respecting the issue, yet the 
consideration that all events are in the hands 
of a merciful Creator, should revive our 
confidence, and encourage a degree of hope, 
that however gloomy the prospect may be, 
it will, under all-wise direction, ultimately 
terminate in good. I believe it is not ad- 
vantageous to our minds to dwell much on 
scenes of horror, or frequently to read de- 
scriptions of them. They seem to harrow up 
the feelings of human nature without benefit, 
and often make so deep an impression on 
the mind, that they are not easily effaced. 
To prepare for such scenes would be almost 
impossible; to endeavour after it would em- 
bitter life ; perhaps, comparatively, it is but a 
few to whose lot they fall, and when they 
have happened, however dreadful they may 
have been in contemplation, some alleviating 
circumstance unforeseen, may have accom- 
panied them, or there has been an internal 
support, beyond what could have been ex- 
pected. 



264 1803. 

%\st, 7 th Mo. — Yesterday we had a violent 
storm of wind and rain, accompanied by 
thunder and lightning. I am not particu- 
larly fearful of a thunder storm ; but I ge- 
nerally feel it productive of a degree of 
awfulness in my mind, and giving rise to 
serious reflections. Yet, if I considered it 
more dangerous than it most commonly is, 
and that I had my choice of some inevitable 
evils, I think I should not hesitate to say, 
with David, " Let us fall now into the hand 
of the Lord, for his mercies are great : and 
let me not fall into the hand of man."* Let 
me have that punishment, or affliction, which 
seems to have most of his immediate appoint- 
ment and influence. I have often expe- 
rienced him to be a God of mercy and long- 
suffering : and though I know that all events 
are under his all-wise direction, yet faith is 
not always sufficiently strong to prevent 
some dismay at prospects that at times come 
before the view of our minds. 

llih, 10th Mo. — In the present state of 
public affairs, I do not always feel my mind 
as tranquil as I could wish. Notwithstand- 
ing an endeavour to put our trust in Him, 
* II Samuel, xxiv. 14. 



1803. 265 

who can over-rule all events, apprehensions 
of danger will sometimes agitate the mind ; 
for our confidence in the Supreme Being, is 
not a confidence that we shall be guarded 
from the evils and afflictions of this life ; 
observation and experience must convince 
us, that those most desirous of devoting them- 
selves to his service, and coming up in the 
performance of all the duties of life, are yet 
liable to the afflictions attendant on huma- 
nity, whether from public calamity, or of a 
more private nature. A rational confidence 
arises from the belief, that He who governs 
the universe will cause every thing ulti- 
mately to terminate in good, though we may 
be very unable to comprehend the means he 
makes use of. This faith in his power and 
goodness is a source of consolation under 
every dispensation ; and when afflictions are 
brought home to individuals in this humble 
state of dependance upon Him, I believe 
they will sometimes experience a renewal of 
their faith, and a vigour and strength of 
mind beyond what they could expect. A 
comprehensive view of the goodness of God 
towards all his creatures, does not equally 
affect our minds, with the contemplation of 
his goodness to us as individuals. Nothing is 
too great for him, nor is any thing too small. 

N 



266 1803, 

We are separately, as well as collectively, 
the objects of his providential care ; and we 
are assured by revelation, that the humble 
and contrite in spirit are the peculiar objects 
of his regard. 

16^, 10th Mo.— Wilt thou not spare the 
city, for the sake of the righteous that are in 
it ? was the pleading of Abraham with the 
Lord formerly, on behalf of Sodom; and may 
not we be permitted to plead with the Lord 
for this hitherto prosperous island ? Though 
we must acknowledge that in the strict sense 
of the word, " there is none righteous, no 
not one ;" yet we trust, there are many who 
delight to walk in the law of the Lord, and 
to obey all his commandments. Wilt thou 
not spare, O Lord, for the sake of these, 
and preserve us from those who threaten us, 
and who would bring us into bondage ? When 
we humble ourselves before thee, and repent 
of the sins which we have committed, have 
mercy upon us, we beseech thee, O Lord, 
as thou hast heretofore had mercy on the 
children of Israel, when they humbled them- 
selves before thee, and sought thy protec- 
tion ! We trust we may intercede with thee 
for the blessings of peace, or indeed for 
other temporal blessings, so long as we feel 



1803. mt 

such a submission to thy all-disposing Power, 
as will enable us to say, " Thy will, not 
mine, be done." 

And Oh, saith my soul, that the nation at 
large may truly humble itself before thee, 
and not vaunt itself in its own strength, but 
earnestly pray for thy protection ; with 
awful seriousness of mind, putting up peti- 
tions to thee, and interceding with thee to 
bless those means, which the people believe 
themselves warranted to use, for self-pre- 
servation and defence ! And as individuals, 
let us not say, our prayers will be of no 
avail, because the purposes and decrees of 
the Most High will not be altered for our 
intercessions ; for how knowest thou, O man, 
what are the decrees of heaven ? or whether 
humiliation, intercession, and prayer, may 
not be the means appointed by infinite wis- 
dom, for averting those evils that seem ready 
to fall upon us ? Many are the incitements 
recorded in Holy Writ, to stir us up to re- 
pentance, and to seek the Lord : many the 
instances in which repentance and humi- 
liation have averted the calamities that were 
threatened. Therefore let us be encouraged 
when we feel his secret influence on our 
minds, to beseech the Lord, that he would 
be graciously pleased in his mercy to turn 
the battle from the gate, having faith that 



268 1803. 

our cry will reach the ears of the Lord of 
Sabaoth, and that he will answer according 
to his wisdom and good pleasure. u When a 
man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even 
his enemies to be at peace with him."* He 
can turn all hearts at his pleasure, as a man 
turneth the water-courses in his field ; and 
they that devise mischief against others, he 
can turn it back upon themselves. 

19^, 10th Mo.— Ordered to be a fast-day. 
" Is not this the fast that I have chosen ? to 
loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the 
heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go 
free ?"+ Many other good deeds are also 
enumerated. We are to feed the hungry and 
to clothe the naked, if we wish to perform 
an acceptable fast to the Lord. It is not for 
a man " to bow down his head as a bulrush, 
and to spread sackcloth and ashes under 
him." Kings and legislators may proclaim 
an outward fast ; but their orders cannot 
reach the heart. It must rest with indivi- 
duals to make the assemblies that are called, 
truly solemn assemblies ; to put away all 
manner of wickedness from amongst us, and 
universally practise that righteousness, which 
it is said exalteth a nation. 

* Prov. xvi. 7. + Isaiah, lviii. G. 



1803. 269 

31st, 10th Mo.— 

" Not more than others I deserve, 
" Yet, God hath given me more." 

These lines, with the rest of the hymn, 
were impressed on my memory at an early pe- 
riod of life, and have at various times since 
been brought to my recollection. Why I 
enjoy so many blessings, is a query that 
sometimes arises in my mind, with a desire 
to be properly thankful for them, to Him 
who dispenses to every one as he sees meet ; 
and not only to be thankful, but to do good 
according to the ability received, and dis- 
charge those duties allotted to my station. 
Those sentiments are never more prevalent 
than when I visit the infirm and aged poor 
in their solitary habitations. Scarcely able 
to do for themselves, and frequently without 
friends, or connexions to solace them in the 
decline of life, their situation appears almost 
melancholy ; particularly when their po- 
verty hardly allows them the necessaries of 
life ; and a scanty pittance from the parish, 
with an occasional charitable donation, is all 
they have for their support.* 

* Perhaps, a scanty pittance is all that the parish can 
with propriety allow. If the maintenance for the poor were 
collected only from the rich, the case would be different ; 
but many are obliged to contribute, who can but ill spare 



270 1803. 

In this situation, much need is there for 
faith and patience to prevent sinking under 
their misfortunes ; and perhaps a little kind 
attention sometimes cheers their drooping 
spirits, and affords them as much comfort as 
pecuniary assistance. If we have more than 
others, without particularly deserving- it, 
which I think most people will acknowledge, 
it seems but our reasonable duty to contri- 
bute to their happiness ; and is likewise the 
best mode of evincing our thankfulness to 
Him, who has declared that in as much as we 
have shewn kindness to the poor and needy, 
he accepts it as done to himself. 

9th, llth Mo.— u All the days of my ap- 
pointed time will I wait, till my change 
come."* There are seasons when we feel all 
the energies of our souls suspended, when 
we seem incapable of any exertion, and as if 
we could do nothing but wait till our change 
come. In this state it feels delightful to pour 
out our souls before God, and rely on his 
goodness and mercy towards us. This seems 
our only source of consolation. 

it ; and it would seem hard to be obliged to assist in sup- 
porting others, in a way better than they can support them- 
selves. 
* Job.xiv. 14. 









1803. 271 

We have none but thee, O God, to apply 
to, for help and succour. When we are so 
sunk that we are ready to doubt whether we 
shall not be a burden to others, instead of 
being capable of affording them any help, 
then do we put up our cry to thee, the God 
of our salvation. When tried with outward 
circumstances that perplex us, or with fears 
that we shall fall in the day of trial ; still 
thou canst send us help from thy sanctuary, 
and revive us with a little hope. Thou hast 
enabled us to get through many difficulties ; 
and we feel a confidence that thou wilt yet 
be the support of those who trust in thee for 
help and preservation. Grant that the trials 
and difficulties we may have to encounter 
may have a beneficial effect on our minds, 
and, we beseech thee, suffer us not to be 
tempted beyond what we are able to bear ; 
but with the temptation also make a way for 
us to escape. 

12th, 11th Mo. — Prayers must be repeti- 
tions. The same wants are continually re- 
curring ; and the same petitions, in substance, 
if not in words, must be put up for their re- 
lief. We must pray daily, for our daily bread. 
No doubt He who formed us and directed 
us to do so, sees it to be beneficial for us. 



272 1804. 

It strongly impresses on our minds our de- 
pendence on him, his omnipotence, and om- 
nipresence. When we pray, we consider him 
as a God near at hand, and not afar off, whose 
ear is open to our cry, and who has power to 
relieve our wants. It keeps up the constant 
sense of his presence, and his superintending 
providence over us ; and through this means 
we have access to him, and feel a renewal of 
our faith and confidence. 



1804. 

28£ft, 1st Mo. — In all our distresses, in all 
our anxieties, enable us, we beseech thee, O 
Lord, to cast our care upon thee. Thou hast 
brought us into this state of existence with- 
out our choice or consent, by the word of thy 
almighty Power. We acknowledge with 
thankfulness that thou hast hitherto assisted 
us to pass through the vicissitudes of life, and 
that the more closely we have clung to thee, 
the Rock of ages, the more firm has been our 
support. Even though we walk in darkness 
and can see no light, still enable us to rely 
upon thee, our God; and grant us an un- 
shaken hope that, as we are humbly depen- 
dant on thee, and follow thy leadings, we 
shall be brought through this probationary 



1804. 273 

state, to that blessed inheritance which thou 
hast ultimately prepared for us. 

Dark indeed do we feel ourselves, when we 
endeavour to search into the mysterious go- 
vernment of God's providence over his crea- 
ture man; we see and know but in part. 
Very minute is the circle of observation to 
which we are confined; yet in that small 
space, how little of what we observe can we 
comprehend. Often are we led to the con- 
clusion, that " he that increaseth knowledge 
increaseth sorrow,"* and that studying to 
find out things beyond the reach of our fa- 
culties, is weariness to both flesh and spirit. 
According to the wise man, the conclusion of 
the whole matter is, to " fear God, and keep 
his commandments : for this is the whole duty 
of man."t Our reasonings and inquiries 
should never lead us from the plain and 
simple duties of life. Without fulfilling 
them, we can never stand in our allotted sta- 
tion, and occupy that place appointed by 
Providence. When we contemplate the 
whole of the visible creation, we are lost in 
wonder and amazement : but our sphere of 
action is confined within very narrow limits, 
and that knowledge imparted which is neces- 
sary. 

* Eccles. i. 18. t Eccles. xii. 13. 

n5 



274 1804. 

To keep in our proper ranks is the essen- 
tial thing to promote the order and harmony 
of the whole. And notwithstanding all our 
doubts and perplexities, we should endeavour 
to keep our eye single, and our faith stead- 
fast on Him who can make the crooked paths 
straight, and the rough ways smooth, and 
darkness light round about us. 

1st, &th Mo.— When the disciples told 
Thomas they had seen their Lord, his mind 
was in such a state of doubt and perplexity, 
that he could not believe them. He thought 
that even the evidence of his own eyesight 
would not be sufficient, and that he must feel 
the print of the nails, and the hole in his side, 
before he could be convinced. But how 
different were his feelings when our Lord 
appeared and spoke to him! his faculties and 
perceptions were quickened; he no longer 
felt the need of all that evidence which he 
before thought necessary, but joyfully ex- 
claimed, "My Lord and my God!" Some 
of those who have obeyed the call of Christ, 
and been desirous of becoming his disciples, 
have yet at times felt so clouded by doubt 
and perplexity, that all their past views and 
sensations have seemed ready to vanish away 
as a dream, and they have scarcely known 



1804. 275 

what to believe or think. Whether they look 
outwardly, or take an internal view of their 
own minds, still they are involved in ob- 
scurity, so that hope seems almost ready to 
fail. They cannot comprehend God's deal- 
ings with his creatures; nor discern, nor un- 
derstand all the intermediate means which 
he makes use of to accomplish his ends. In 
this state of desertion and depression, when 
their faith seems at so low an ebb, that they 
can scarcely believe the good tidings that are 
told them, how readily can they sympathise 
with the doubting disciple ! And if a gleam 
of divine light beam upon the soul, and they 
feel the presence of their heavenly Master, 
and a renewal of their faith in him, will they 
not be ready also joyfully to exclaim, " My 
Lord and my God!" 

It may be queried, what shall we do when 
in this low, depressed state; when He to 
whom we looked is withdrawn from us, we 
know not where, nor wherefore ?--- Wait in 
patience his return. Wait as servants who 
are daily expecting their lord ; who are de- 
sirous to have every thing in order and ready 
for him, let him come at what hour he will. 
If he tarry long, let us not say, "my Lord 
delayeth his coming," and neglect fulfilling 
our various duties, but endeavouring to obey 



276 1804. 

his commands as far as we know them, trust 
that he will again more fully enlighten our 
understandings, and speak peace to our souls. 

27th, 5th Mo.— u Oh, send out thy light and 
thy truth ; let them lead me."* In times of 
doubt and anxiety, how often do we feel a 
deep solicitude that this may be our expe- 
rience : that in all our trials we may act as 
Divine Wisdom would have us act, that we 
may feel the reviving hope that his light will 
lead us and guide us, and point out that line 
of conduct which we ought to pursue, through 
all the perplexities of life. Often have my 
spirits been calmed with this supporting faith. 
And as my mind has been turned to the Su- 
preme Controller of all events, with a desire 
to feel submission to his will ; a degree of 
hope has arisen, that notwithstanding the 
gloom that may attend some of our present 
prospects, those evils which we most fear may 
be remedied, or mitigated beyond what we 
could expect. Happy is it for those who in 
a state of trial can turn to the only true 
comforter. Here alone we can find a shelter 
from the storm, and rest for our weary spirits. 
And in the renewed faith that his light and 
his truth will lead us, and that we shall, as 

* Psalm xliii. 3. 



1804. 277 

we are engaged earnestly to apply for it, be 
strengthened with his strength, we are en- 
couraged to press forward in the arduous 
race, and thus surmount all the difficulties 
that surround us. 

9th, llth Mo.—" What lack I yet?"* As 
we feel ourselves drawing towards the con- 
fines of another world, and approaching u that 
bourne from whence no traveller returns," 
the query is likely to be frequently revived 
in our minds. If we give way to serious re- 
flections, we shall be impressed with the 
idea, how important it is for us to be ready 
when our long journey is at hand; and fre- 
quently ask the question, what more we can 
do, to make us fit for those regions to which 
we are hastening ? 

When we take a retrospective view of our 
lives, I believe few can say, with regard to 
their obedience to the divine laws, as did the 
young man in the gospel, " All these things 
have I kept from my youth up."+ We can- 
not look back without the acknowledgment, 
that we have done those things which we 
ought not to do, and have left undone those 
things which we ought to have done. We 
have too often neglected the secret inti- 
* Matt. xix. 20. t Ibid. 



278 1804. 

mations of duty ; we have given way to a 
corrupt nature, and suffered temptations to 
prevail over our better judgment. All these 
things we know ought to be struggled 
against; and perhaps we have never more 
effectually conquered, than when we have, in 
meekness and humility, craved and relied on 
Divine help. Those who have been deeply 
solicitous to do their best, that they may 
stand approved to their heavenly Master, will 
be likely to be most zealous in the inquiry, 
what more they can do to be fitted for his 
kingdom. They have no wish to dwell with 
self-complacency on what they have already 
done, but are eager to press forward toward 
the mark, and not leave any thing undone 
that may help them to gain the prize. 

14^/i, 12th Mo. — "Love your enemies, bless 
them that curse you, do good to them that 
hate you, and pray for them which despite- 
fully use you and persecute you."* Happy 
is it for mankind, that their exertions are 
seldom called forth to comply with these 
precepts in their full extent. Comparatively, 
perhaps, there are but few individuals who 
have enemies to love; but few who are 
cursed, or hated, or persecuted, in any exten- 
* Matt. v. 44. 



1804. 279 

sive sense of the words. Yet, when self-love 
predominates in the mind, every thing that 
interferes with it is beheld through a mag- 
nifying glass; we are ready to fancy we be- 
hold those evils which have scarcely, if any, 
existence. We think we see enemies, when 
it is only a phantom of the imagination. 
Though we may not go so far as to think 
ourselves hated and persecuted, yet we give 
way to the idea, that we are not treated with 
that love and respect which we have a right 
to claim; and thus foster in our bosoms 
those unhappy prejudices and heartburnings, 
which are not only inconsistent with Chris- 
tianity, but needlessly embitter the cup of 
life. Now, if we consider the injunctions 
of our Saviour in their full force, and in a 
serious point of view, we must be convinced 
that if it be necessary to comply with them, 
in things so contrary to our corrupt nature, 
as loving our enemies, &c, it must be highly 
improper to give way to any bitter passions, 
on subjects of less provocation, or indulge 
those rancorous feelings, which generally 
take their rise from holding self in too much 
estimation. I am firmly persuaded that the 
more self is subdued, the more sweet and 
tranquil will be our passage through life. 
If we feel Divine love influence our minds, 



280 1804. 

it will naturally spread itself through all our 
actions : and, as our hearts become more and 
more purified from evil passions and propen- 
sities, we shall find an increase of those good 
dispositions, which tend to our happiness 
here as well as hereafter. But it is difficult 
to dig up the old root of corrupt nature; 
too often it can only be kept under; and, 
when we have bestowed much labour in en- 
deavouring to eradicate it, we see a bud put 
forth in one place, and a shoot in another, 
which make constant vigilance necessary to 
prevent its again flourishing. In this state 
of mind we must not give way to despon- 
dency; but, applying to Him, who can help 
our weaknesses and infirmities, trust, that in 
due time, he will subdue all things to him- 
self, and purify our hearts from all evil 
affections. 

29th, \Wi Mo. — " Be not weary in well- 
doing."* I am not weary with well-doing, 
but with ill-doing. Weary of doing those 
thing's which I wish I had not done, and of 
thinking those thoughts which I wish I had 
not thought. Weary of feeling those im- 
proper propensities and dispositions so often 
arising, which tend to destroy that meek and 
* II Thess. iii. 13. 



1804. 281 

humble frame of mind, which it is our greatest 
happiness to possess. To reflect on our well- 
doing, is always a source of satisfaction. 
But when we feel various struggles in our 
endeavours to pursue the right path, and 
despondency is almost ready to prevail, we 
may be encouraged by the promised reward 
annexed to perseverance, and revived with 
the faith, that, notwithstanding our various 
trials, we shall assuredly in " due season 
reap if we faint not."* When we consider 
how often we have failed in duty, how often 
we have given way to temptation, and suf- 
fered wrong tempers and dispositions to arise, 
it sometimes leads to the inquiry, whether 
we should now be better able to resist and 
stand firm, if we were again tried with the 
same things. The sense of our own present 
weakness, in many instances, may lead us to 
doubt, and serve as a lesson of humility: but 
I believe it will be more profitable for us to 
bend our minds to the steady pursuit of right, 
in those things that at present occur and 
claim our attention, than to dwell too much 
on the past; remembering, that "sufficient 
unto the day is the evil thereof."t 
* Gal. vi. 9. t Matt. vi. 34. 



1805. 



1805. 

20th, 1st Mo.—- All our desires, thoughts, 
and actions, should have a tendency towards 
heaven, the ultimate end of all our wishes 
and all our hopes. To have our thoughts 
thus turned will not diminish, but increase 
our happiness ; for our nature is so consti- 
tuted, that without looking* towards futurity, 
we can have no rational enjoyment. It will 
be no bar to the innocent gratifications of 
life. In many instances, our duties and our 
pleasures are connected, as in promoting the 
welfare and happiness of our families, and in 
the exercise of the benevolent affections. 
Whenever our minds get so engrossed by the 
pleasures or the business of the world, as to 
lose this tendency towards heaven, they may 
be compared to a bow that has lost its proper 
spring, or, perhaps, even become bent the 
wrong way ; and when this is the case, it will 
require no small force and exertion to bring 
them back again. After getting too deeply 
buried in the world, an afflictive dispensation 
sometimessuddenlybringsthemindbacktoits 
proper centre, and is that force which proves 
effectual in turning it, when milder applica- 



1805. 283 

tions would be tedious in their process, if not 
wholly inefficacious. 

20th, 2d Mo. — I can look back to the time, 
when, though I will not say that I thought 
God and Mammon might both be served, yet 
I flattered myself that what are termed the 
pleasures and vanities of the world, might be 
reconciled with a good degree of religion. 
Thus, I believe, many continue to think; and 
their endeavours to unite things so opposite 
in their nature and tendency, produce a con- 
tinual struggle. But in the progress of the 
contest, one or the other generally loses 
ground; and, I doubt, it too frequently 
happens, that the side which would produce 
the most durable satisfaction, gives way. He 
who has been trained to religion and virtue, 
and used to serious reflection, finds at first 
some hesitation in adopting any thing that 
may lead from it. He perhaps queries, can 
I do this without losing the approbation of 
my Maker ? Is it consistent with a religious 
life ? He does not inquire whether a reli- 
gious life be proper and necessary ; but how 
far he may go, without transgressing its laws. 
Thus doubting and hesitating, he falls in 
with one little temptation after another, en- 
deavouring to keep up the practice of reli- 



284 1805. 

gious duties at the same time. But, as one de- 
viation from the dictates of pure truth is ge- 
nerally succeeded by many more, the feelings 
which at first operated are overcome ; and 
thus way is made for the total neglect of those 
duties which were once thought essential. 

I believe many, if they entered seriously 
into an examination of themselves, would 
acknowledge this to be the case : and obser- 
vation on the conduct of various individuals 
will lead to the same conclusion; convincing 
us of the danger of endeavouring to mix 
those things which cannot be mixed, and that 
the first step we take contrary to conviction, 
is in danger of leading us into a vortex of 
folly. 

I6th,5th Mo. — There is one point to which 
all controversy seems to lead; that is, the 
weakness and fallibility of the human mind. 
For whilst we see men of integrity, who 
appear to have equal clearness of understand- 
ing and soundness of judgment, differing so 
much in opinion on various subjects, it must 
be presumption, indeed, if we consider our- 
selves as having arrived at such a certainty, 
that we cannot be mistaken, seeing that we 
also are but men. 

Of late years, much controversy has arisen 



1805. 285 

among; us as a religious society, respecting 
articles of faith. That it can be of any be- 
nefit, appears to me quite improbable. I 
consider it as a privilege, that, in our little 
community, there are no articles of faith to 
which we, as individuals, are obliged to 
subscribe; no creeds drawn up by human in- 
vention, which we are called upon to confess 
that we believe, however incapable we may 
be of understanding or comprehending them. 
I think, in general, we have concluded the 
tree to be good, which has brought forth 
good fruit : and while a decent, orderly 
conduct has been maintained, without any 
flagrant breach of our obvious, known, par- 
ticular principles, inquiries have seldom, if 
ever, been made respecting our private sen- 
timents, or in what manner we understand 
particular parts of Scripture ; though, to pro- 
mulgate doctrines inconsistent with the sene- 
rall\ adopted principles of our Society, would 
at all times be reprehensible. 

That we may " stand fast, therefore, in the 
liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free,"* 
is my sincere desire ; not making it a cloak 
for any unrighteousness, but remembering 
that if it is in that liberty we stand free, it 
must lead to adding one virtue upon ano- 
*Gal. v. 1. 



286 1805. 

ther, till the whole catalogue is complete; 
and amongst which not the least is charity. 

3d, 8th Mo. — Here we are, O Lord, poor, 
weak, and ignorant. We turn our eyes round 
the world, and behold the various orders of 
beings, and the immensity of thy creation, 
and are struck with wonder and amazement 
at the infinitude of thy power. We con- 
template man in his different situations, from 
the savage to the most polished nations. In 
some places born to toil, oppression, and 
misery; and in all verifying-, in a greater 
or lesser degree, the assertion that " Man is 
born to trouble as the sparks fly upward." 
But the inquisitive mind rests not here. It 
confesses, with awfulness, the infinitude of 
thy power, and reverently adores that Ma- 
jesty which created the heavens and the earth, 
and all that is therein. But the why; the 
wherefore ? next obtrude. Questions as far 
beyond the power of human faculties to 
solve, as the extent of the earth is beyond 
the powers of the visual ray to compass. 

We must then return into ourselves to be- 
come acquainted with thee ; to feel that thou 
art good as well as great. Here, by thy 
gracious influence over our minds, thou art 
evincing to us, that though we are poor, 






1805. 287 

weak, and ignorant, thou art willing to en- 
rich, to strengthen, and enlighten us, so far 
as the situation in which thou hast placed us 
requires. And with the knowledge thou art 
pleased to impart, and to give us capacities 
to attain, we desire to rest satisfied : not en- 
deavouringpresumptuously to penetrate into 
that obscurity which thou hast caused to 
surround us ; but with an eye of faith, wait- 
ing patiently till thou shalt ordain light to 
arise out of darkness, and in humble, sub- 
missive dependanceon thee, endeavouring to 
fulfil all thy commands. 

12th, 10th Mo.— 
" For all I bless thee ; most for the severe." 

This line of Young's was quoted on the last 
solemn occasion on which we were at Winch- 
more-hill : since which period it has often 
occurred to my mind, accompanied with the 
query, why bless God most for the severe? We 
bless him for all, because we have faith to be- 
lieve, that his mercy and goodness preside over 
all ; that he afflicts not willingly the children 
of men, but is leading them through disci- 
pline to a state of permanent felicity. We 
acknowledge him as the Author of all good : 
and when we feel ourselves surrounded with 
the enjoyments of life, our hearts are na- 



288 1805. 

turally warmed with gratitude to Him from 
whom they flow, and we bless and thank 
him for his abundant mercy. 

If we " bless God most for the severe," it 
is not likely to be whilst we are under the 
immediate pressure of the afflictive stroke ; 
but at a future time, when we become sen- 
sible of the beneficial influence it has had on 
our minds. This past experience leads to a 
more patient submission under the Divine 
hand, and resignation to his trying dispensa- 
tions. To be patient and submissive under 
all the evils of life, and thankful for all the 
good we enjoy, is no small attainment. 

26th, llth Mo. — I think I have clearly seen 
the impropriety of marriages between per- 
sons of different persuasions, and their ten- 
dency to produce dissatisfaction. In so close 
a connexion, the more the united couple 
are of one mind, the fairer prospect there 
is of conj ugal happiness. Religion often sits 
light upon the youthful mind ; but as years 
increase, seriousness sometimes increases with 
them ; and if there are children, they excite 
in parents a joint interest in their welfare, 
and an affectionate solicitude to promote it, 
as far as is in their power. They feel the ne- 
cessity of their united efforts, and a cc-ope- 



1805. 289 

ration in all their plans ; and if a difference 
of opinion prevail even in small matters, it 
is apt to produce dissatisfaction : how much 
must this be increased, if the difference relate 
to those things deemed essential. In the 
most prosperous situations in life, many trials 
and anxieties will occur ; and in the conju- 
gal connexion, they will be greatly increased 
or mitigated, according as the parties are 
united in friendship, confidence and love. 

With regard to children, it appears to me 
that there is only one line of conduct to pur- 
sue ; that is, to do them all the good we can : 
collectively, as far as their joint interest is 
concerned, and individually, as far as it can 
be promoted, without infringing on the rights 
or claims of others. From infancy, through 
all the intermediate steps to mature years, 
this should be our simple and steady object, 
and even last as long as we have the ability 
to render ourselves useful to them. Yet 
we must not expect that they will always 
think or act as we would wish them, or as we 
think prudence requires of them. Our ex- 
perience has been often bought ; perhaps 
theirs must be so too. Liberty is a precious 
enjoyment ; and if we had the power of in- 
fluencing the conduct of our children on all 
points, I believe it would not be desirable, 

o 



290 1806. 

unless their judgments were convinced. We 
must expect that at years of maturity, they 
will decide and act for themselves ; and if 
they let our advice and counsel have its 
due weight, it is all parents have a right to 
expect or claim. Our influence over them 
may be greater in some things than it is in 
others ; and without feeling any displeasure 
where our judgment is not coincided with, 
we must keep the main object steadily in 
view, and influence them for good, when and 
where we can. If this conduct were pursued, 
1 think it would tend to preserve affection, 
keep up harmony in families, and be pro- 
ductive of mutual happiness in the end. 



1806. 

loth, 1st Mo. — Under thy sacred influence, 
O Lord, I trust I can say, " My heart is 
fixed ;"* fixed in its purposes and desires to 
be what thou wouldst have me to be, and to 
do what thou wouldst have me do. Strengthen 
my resolutions, O Lord, to be conformable 
to thy will ; and enable me so to overcome 
my corrupt nature, that I may not only walk 
with uprightness in outward act, but be re- 

* Psalm lvii. 7. 



1806. 291 

deemed from every evil suggestion and per- 
verse thought. 



llth, 2d 3Jo. — " A man's enemies are the 
men of his own house."* This is often the 
case spiritually. Some people feel a promp- 
titude to do good. Meek, humble, and be- 
nevolent, they are ready to promote the 
happiness of all within their reach. Others 
are more powerfully under the corruption of 
their nature ; greater selfishness prevails ; 
they feel strong emotions to pride ; they are 
quick, instead of slow to anger ; apt to re- 
turn evil for evil, with many other wrong 
propensities. Many of these see the neces- 
sity of a change ; they know where help is to 
be obtained ; they apply for it ; make war 
against these secret enemies, and find they 
can be conquered, at least in degree. By 
continued vigilance, one foe is vanquished 
after another, and they are encouraged to 
hope that all will be subdued. But we must 
not be elevated with victory. Though we 
have done well so far, there is no room for 
boasting. To be obliged to struggle im- 
plies defect : if it require an effort to do 
right, it is a proof that some weakness or 
imperfection remains. Even if we had 
* Micah, vii. 6. 



292 1806. 

got the better of all our evil inclinations, 
and entirely overcome the old man with 
his deeds, still we should only have at- 
tained to the character first described, and 
have more cause for humility than exal- 
tation. 

13th, 7 th Mo. — " I have no greater joy than 
to hear that my children walk in truth."* 
I do not know any thing that comes nearer 
to the feelings of affectionate parents, than 
the welfare and prosperity of their children. 
Even with regard to the things of this life, 
how many anxious wishes do we feel that 
their lot may be comfortable ! Still more is 
our anxiety respecting their happiness in 
futurity. And when we estimate things ac- 
cording to their proper value, we shall feel 
a willingness to give up for them, as well as 
for ourselves, those temporal gratifications 
which would retard us in the progress of 
duty, or be any hinderance to us in our spi- 
ritual concerns. Often do we fear, and often 
do we rejoice, according to the reports we 
hear respecting our children, and as our own 
observations on their conduct lead us to form 
opinions concerning them. Sometimes fear- 
ing that they will be drawn by one little 

* John, i. 4. 



1806. 293 

deviation after another, from the path of 
safety and peace ; at others gratified with 
hearing their commendation. If we can say 
we have no greater joy than to hear that our 
children walk in the truth, we shall endea- 
vour whilst our lot is cast amongst them, to 
watch over them for good. Sometimes drop- 
ping a caution or a hint in season as oppor- 
tunity may offer ; and under the influence of 
that love, which can bear and forbear, not 
only endeavouring to persuade them to the 
practice of those things which are most ex- 
cellent, but likewise putting up our prayers 
to the throne of Grace for their preservation. 
I believe few can know the anxiety of parents 
for their children, till they are in the same 
situation themselves. Then all the tender 
sensibilities are called forth : and as they 
look forward with increasing solicitude, and 
sometimes cast a retrospective view on them- 
selves, even those who have been attentive 
to their own parents will be apt to wish they 
had been still more so, and more disposed to 
consider their feelings; whilst those who have 
not acted properly by their parents, will feel 
an unavailing regret. And, alas! how often 
do we feel an unavailing regret for many of 
the past actions of our lives ; unavailing at 
least, so far as respects the present life. 



294 1806. 

Often have I wished to impress upon young 
people the difficulty of setting- wrong to 
rights, or retracing those steps which have led 
us into the wrong path. Though the first 
few steps may appear shallow, and even their 
termination doubtful, yet steeper ones will 
soon succeed, and we shall be almost imper- 
ceptibly pushed forward without seeing 
where we can make a stand. Hitherto shalt 
thou go, but no farther, can be only the lan- 
guage of Omnipotence; and though poor, 
frail man may sometimes adopt it in seasons 
of confidence, yet he may as often have to 
lament the frailty of his resolves. 

One thing, and one action unexpectedly 
involves another, and if we once step aside 
from the line of propriety, we always find it 
very difficult to return, and frequently cannot 
remedy the evils arising from the deviation, 
in the future course of our lives. While we 
are thus humbled under a sense of the weak- 
ness of human nature, may we be induced 
fervently to pray to Him who has said, u My 
grace is sufficient for thee,"* and leaving 
u those things that are behind," endeavour 
through His help to press forward toward 
the mark, that we may gain the prize. 
* II Cor. xii. 9. 



1806. 29.3 

20th, 7th Mo.— Every degree of familiarity 
with vice has a tendency to blunt the moral 
feelings. Hence arise the various opinions 
of mankind respecting the turpitude of many 
of ouractions. Those who have been brought 
up in an innocent line of life, and had any 
religious principles instilled into their minds, 
would feel shocked at many actions which 
pass with little censure in the fashionable 
world. But fashion cannot alter the genuine 
precepts of Christianity, neither can it make 
wrong right ; and morals must be at a very 
low ebb indeed, when authors who pretend 
to write to reform mankind, treat lightly of 
great vices, or think it proper to lower the 
standard of moral rectitude in compliance 
with fashion, instead of holding it up to view 
in its proper elevation. 

2lst. From the above considerations how 
necessary does it appear for youth to have a 
guarded education, that moral and religious 
principles may be firmly rooted in the mind, 
before they are called forth to much exertion. 
In the natural course of things many circum- 
stances will occur that excite the evil pro- 
pensities of our nature, without our putting 
them in the way of temptation with the in- 
junction not to be tempted. 



296 1806. 

19th, 10th Mo.— I will humble myself be- 
fore the Lord. I will abase myself before 
the most high God. When my transgressions 
are set in order before me, and I behold the 
handwriting that signs my condemnation, I 
will prostrate myself before the throne of 
Mercy, and plead guilty before God. Yet 
not without the consoling hope that my re- 
pentance will avail, and that through the 
mediation of a Saviour, my pardon will be 
pronounced. There are times when we feel 
all self-confidence laid in the dust : when we 
see that we have nothing of our own to de- 
pend upon, nothing to plead in our own be- 
half, and that our only covering is confusion 
and shame ; when we reflect how often we 
have sinned in thought, word and deed, and 
how far we are from having attained that 
purity which the Gospel requires, we are 
ready to cry out with the Apostle, " Who 
shall deliver me from the body of this death? 
I thank God, through Jesus Christ our 
Lord."* Through the efficacy of his power 
operating on the mind, I trust the old cor- 
rupt nature will be more and more subdued, 
and that we shall not only hear the sentence 
pronounced, thy iniquities are pardoned and 
thy sins are blotted out : but as we patiently 
* Rom. vii. 24, 25. 



1806. 297 

submit to its continued operation, we shall 
experience a new nature formed in us, and 
advance to that purity of heart and affections, 
in which it is said we shall " see God." 
" Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall 
see God."* 

5th, 11 th Mo. — An inordinate self-love is 
the bane of all happiness. Its natural con- 
sequence is self-indulgence, and an endeavour 
so exclusively to pursue our own happiness, 
that it generally defeats the end at which it 
aims. The more we take care of ourselves, 
the less will others be disposed to take of us. 
For though in a moderate degree it is quite 
right and proper for us to take care of our- 
selves, yet it should be the care of one of a 
number, not an exclusive care of the sole in- 
dividual self. Where the love of self too 
strongly predominates, it narrows the mind. 
It leaves no room for the benevolent affec- 
tions, and that reciprocation of kindness and 
good offices, which constitute the principal 
happiness of a social being. We are so 
formed by the Author of our existence, that 
to communicate happiness is in degree to re- 
ceive it ; and we can never so alter the con- 
stitution of nature, as to enjoy happiness our- 
* Matt. v. 8. 

o 5 



298 1806. 

selves, whilst that of those about us is wholly 
disregarded. 

The selfish principle, where it receives no 
check, is apt to increase with increasing 
years ; and though people who are under its 
influence may have remaining friends who 
are disposed to treat them with kindness, and 
render them assistance, yet it will be the at- 
tention arising from propriety, and mixed 
with pity, rather than love and respect, and 
generally will fall far short of what self-love 
will think it has aright to claim. It will 
surely then be wise to check this principle of 
exclusive self-love in its first beginnings, 
before it gain the ascendancy over us ; to 
guard against jealousy of every sort, and not 
to give way to the fancy that we are slighted, 
or unkindly treated, from only surmises, or 
a failure of little trivial at entions. This 
disposition generally arises from pride and 
selfishness, and if indulged, only embitters 
life. 1 believe we may rest in the confidence, 
that if we endeavour to promote the happi- 
ness of others, our own will be promoted in 
return. If we cultivate this disposition, it 
will become more and more habitual ; even 
sickness will not banish it altogether from 
our thoughts, but we shall endeavour to 
make the attendance we require as little 



1806. 299 

irksome as possible. It will lead to patience 
instead of fretfulness and discontent ; and 
we shall in return receive those attentions 
which will alleviate the evils we sustain. 

6th. — Some people seem disposed to accuse 
their parents of having spoiled them by im- 
proper indulgence, and shelter themselves 
under that idea. But though we may be in- 
clined to plead some excuse for a humour- 
some child, under such circumstances, the 
validity of the claim is seldom allowed be- 
yond childhood. When people have their eyes 
once opened, to see what they are, and what 
they ought to be, the remote causes will not 
be of much consequence, or have any great 
effect in extenuating their faults. When we 
see them, we can have no excuse for conti- 
nuing thern, let them arise from early indul- 
gence, or any other cause. If we perceive that 
we have been indulged in bad habits by our 
parents, we must exert ourselves vigorously 
to combat them ; not add self-indulgence to 
parental, and so increase the evil. We must 
bring ourselves under a strict discipline ; and 
if we have not been used to battle, we must 
now enter the lists, and seriously aim at being 
conquerors. And though we may feel much 
reluctance to the hardships of war, and desi- 



300 1806. 

rous of remaining at ease, yet we shall find 
in the end, that it will only be submitting to 
slavery : for our passions will gain more and 
more the dominion over us, and we shall 
neither look back with satisfaction, nor for- 
ward with a well-grounded hope. 

26th, 12th Mo.— Whenever I attempt to 
contemplate the power of the Almighty, a 
self-existent Being, without beginning and 
without end, my mind seems too weak to sup- 
port the effort, and I feel myself whirled in 
the vortex of confusion. That such a Being 
exists, myself and every thing around me 
evidently prove ; but when I turn my eyes, 
to take a view of his immensity, and the 
heights and depths that surround him, my 
head grows giddy with the prospect, and I 
am obliged to look at something nearer, to 
bring my senses out of their confusion. The 
mind of man seems formed to receive the 
truths of revelation, and those which arise 
from the works of nature ; but they are be- 
yond his abilities to fathom ; and he must 
rather u wonder and adore," than expect to 
comprehend. 

3lst, 12th 3Io.— Ci By this shall all men know 
that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one 



1806. 301 

to another."* To fulfil this precept of our 
Saviour, we must love one another with many 
imperfections : for where shall we find a 
perfect man ? The brightest characters are 
not without some shades ; perhaps they ap- 
pear more conspicuous from the brightness 
of the other parts. If we are loved, it must 
be with many failings and imperfections ; and 
we have no right to expect others should 
possess superior excellence. Formed of the 
same materials, and cast in the same mould, 
we are subjected by nature to the same infir- 
mities and temptations. Do we feel our- 
selves weak, and can we expect others should 
be strong ? Rather let the humiliating sense 
of our own deficiencies lead us to excuse 
theirs. " Love is the fulfilling of the law."+ 
It unites us in the sacred bonds of Christian 
fellowship. It leads to justice and mercy. 
It even outstrips justice ; for it inspires with 
a zeal for the welfare of each other, beyond 
what equity might demand. It makes us 
willing cheerfully to sacrifice our own grati- 
fications to the happiness and well-being of 
others. " Charity shall cover the multitude 
of sins. "J It inclines us to compassionate 
the failings of others, instead of judging them 

* John, xiii. 35. 
t Rom. xiii. 10. X l Peter, iv. 8. 



302 1807. 

with rigour; knowing how much we stand 
in need of the same compassion. Love leads 
to sympathy, one of the sweet consolations of 
humanity. It is the never-failing source of 
happiness both here and hereafter. 



1807. 

13th, 1st Mo. — Acts of charity and kind- 
ness should never be intermixed with the 
wormwood and the gall. If we relieve the 
indigent, or assist the necessitous, it should 
not be accompanied with reproach, or im- 
pressing a sense of the obligation. If we 
give what we have to give grudgingly, pr 
perform an act of kindness with reluctance, 
it loses great part of its value, and becomes 
oppressive, rather than gratifying, to the re- 
ceiver. To contribute to, and promote the 
happiness and well-being of others, should 
be our end and aim in every act of liberality : 
and the generous mind will not be disposed 
to claim any merit for doing that which is, 
perhaps, to stamp it no higher, only one of 
the duties of social life. Neither will it be 
looking for returns in submissions and ac- 
knowledgments, though the grateful heart 
will be ready to express itself. 



1807. 303 

18^, 5th Mo. — Stand in your allotments. 
I think Lavater says, in his writings, that he 
used to take some sentence in the morning, to 
serve him as a watchword through the day. 
The above seems like a kind of watchword 
frequently occurring to my mind. It takes 
in a large compass, and implies a great deal. 
We must, in the first place, consider where 
and what our allotment is, and then all the 
duties attendant on our situation. Without 
this, we can never stand as we ought to do in 
our allotment. The situation of some takes 
in a wide sphere of action ; that of others is 
more contracted. Some have apparently hard 
tasks to perform, while others glide on more 
smoothly. If we stand in our allotments, we 
must perform the duties attendant on that 
allotment, be they small or great, conspi- 
cuous, or of a more private nature. I be- 
lieve those who desire to stand firm, will find 
habitual watchfulness necessary. Many little 
trials occur, that may put our patience to the 
test, and make us flinch, if we are negligent 
or off our guard. If we consider what we 
ought to do, and keep prepared for the per- 
formance of all the little duties of life, as 
well as for those of greater importance, and 
inure ourselves to the practice of them by a 
steady perseverance, we may then be said to 



304 1807. 

keep the watchword, and stand in our allot- 
ments. 

19£A, 7th Mo. — The present awful state of 
public affairs often throws a gloom over my 
mind, which spreads to future prospects, and 
makes me look forward with fear. Yet we, 
who are in all probability drawing near the 
verge of time, one would think, need not look 
forward with many fears on our own account, 
though they may be excited for our poste- 
rity. In that case, we shall fear for those 
who seem not to have much apprehension for 
themselves ; who are not only more interested 
and occupied with present pursuits, but who 
can likewise contemplate the future with 
more hope, and see brighter prospects ahead. 
A query has often arisen in my mind, why 
those who cannot expect to have long to feel 
the vicissitudes of time, should be so much 
more disposed to be cast down with the ap- 
proach of troubles and inconveniences, than 
those who may consider it probable that they 
have many years to come. I mean to set re- 
ligious considerations out of the question : 
knowing, that, in the well-disposed mind, 
they will operate the same in young and 
old; and that faith and resignation, with 
the belief of an over-ruling Providence, 



1807. 305 

will have the same happy effect on the minds 
of both. 

I think it must arise, in general, from in- 
creased debility, and the want of that spirit 
and energy which support us in younger life, 
and enable us better to struggle through 
difficulties. In this state, the approach of 
evil is more formidable ; and we feel as if 
we should sink under difficulties, instead of 
overcoming them. 

Every thing that makes exertion necessary 
seems burdensome in the decline of life, and 
we sometimes contemplate the idea of it with 
fear and trembling. To glide gently down 
the stream, seems then all we wish for, 
respecting ourselves. But as in past exi- 
gences, which have called forth some ex- 
ertion, we have frequently got through bet- 
ter than we expected, so whatever scenes we 
may have to encounter in future, I trust we 
shall have strength sufficient for the day, and 
not only be enabled to combat, but likewise 
to overcome : not such an overcoming as to 
expect that worldly things will be altered 
for us, but the overcoming that reduces self 
under subjection to the Divine will, and 
through the influence of that power on the 
mind, brings peace and serenity, and enables 
us to rejoice even in sorrow. 



306 1807. 

lith, WthJSfo.— Thou alone, OLord, canst 
pour the spirit of supplication on the long- 
ing soul. Enable us, we pray thee, to draw 
near unto thee, through Jesus Christ, the 
appointed means : and notwithstanding the 
mystery that surrounds us, grant that our 
faith may be strengthened to lay hold on 
Thee, the Rock of Ages. And under an awful 
sense that thou art always present, enable 
us to worship thee in humble prostration of 
spirit. 

22c?, 12th Mo. — There are afflictions of so 
depressing a nature, that they almost confuse 
our senses, and take away the power of judg- 
ing ; when the future seems so enveloped in 
obscurity, that we know not what to expect, 
or where to look for alleviation. Yet if we 
take a view of the world, observe the trials 
sustained in it, and how wonderfully people 
get above those things, which one might sup- 
pose would overwhelm them, it gives us 
room to conclude, that our nature is so con- 
stituted, that it returns to some degree of 
level, and where it cannot overcome the 
evils of life, is by degrees enabled to bear up 
under them. In our deepest probations, even 
when we lie down in sorrow and awake with 
trembling, I believe we are never so de- 



1807. 307 

serted by hope, but that some fragments of it 
still cling to the soul, and notwithstanding; 
their fragility, afford a little comfort. In all 
our trials, religion is our surest source of 
consolation : but in some cases it increases 
their poignancy, and more embitters those 
evils which arise from misconduct in our- 
selves, or others who are near to us. Yet 
even here, it by degrees becomes its own an- 
tidote, and brings the soul into that state of 
resignation to the Divine will, which enables 
it to bear all things patiently; trusting that 
He who is infinite in power, is also infinite 
in mercy, and will look down with compas- 
sion on his poor creature man. That he 
who gave himself for our sins that " he 
might deliver us from this present evil 
world,"* will be our advocate with the Fa- 
ther ; and having, through the operation of 
his power, subdued all things unto himself, 
will finally be oursanctification and redemp- 
tion, and that in the end " God may be all 
in all." 

27th, 12th Mo.— u We lie down in shame, 
and our confusion covereth us."+ How many 
are there in the world who can adopt this 
language! and may we not call it an evil 

* Gal. i. 4. + Jerem. iii. 25. 



308 1807. 

world, when wickedness is so prevalent in it ? 
Though, upon the first creation, the Lord 
pronounced that all was good, yet how soon 
did man corrupt his ways, and fall from that 
state wherein he was created ! It might be 
pronounced an evil world long before the 
flood ; for I think the Scriptures declare, 
u That every imagination of the thoughts of 
his (man's) heart was only evil continually."* 
It was evil again after the flood; evil in the 
days of the patriarchs ; and according to 
both sacred and profane history, evil down 
to this present day. It was to deliver us 
from this evil world, that our Saviour came. 
To open for us a door of entrance into a bet- 
ter world, and to lead us into it, if we are 
but willing to follow him in faith. When 
we feel the pressure of natural and moral 
evil, and are burdened with the weight, shall 
we not gladly lay hold on the offered relief, 
and cleave to Him, who is our only refuge ? 
Our Saviour calls this present, an evil world; 
well may we do so too. He came to redeem 
us from a world that lieth in wickedness. 
But his prayer for his disciples was not that 
they should be taken out of the world, but 
that they might be kept from the evil. Being 
not conformed k) this world, we must keep 
* Gen. vi. 5. 



1808. 309 

our station in it, according to the will of our 
great Master ; struggling to overcome evil, 
and not sinking into despondency. Not- 
withstanding the admixture of evil, we en- 
joy, through the goodness of God, many pre- 
sent blessings for which we ought to be thank- 
ful. Let us encourage ourselves in faith and 
hope, that through the secret workings of 
His power, who rules and over-rules, all 
things will be brought into order; that evil 
will be overcome of good, and that all crea- 
tion will finally praise his name. 



1808. 

2£th, 1st Mo. — Enable me, 1 beseech thee, 
O Lord, to cast all my care upon thee, and 
commit all things to thy disposal, consign- 
ing them as into the hands of a faithful 
Creator, who is ever caring for the work- 
manship of his hands. I have no plea to 
claim an exemption from those bitter cups, 
which are so often dispensed to the children 
of mortality. But grant me grace, O Lord, 
to receive them with that meek submission, 
which is becoming thy dependant creature, 
and that true Christian resignation of mind, 
which can say, " not my will, but thine be 
done." But as we learn from thy declara- 



310 1808. 

tions in Scripture, that thou wiliest not the 
death of a sinner, but rather that he should 
return, repent, and live, we are emboldened 
to intercede for those who have swerved 
from thy law, that thou wouldst be pleased 
to touch their hearts, that they may be deeply 
sensible of their transgressions, and arriving 
at a state of true penitence, become objects 
of thy mercy and forgiveness. 

Under a sense, O gracious God, of the 
many blessings I have received, I desire to 
approach thee with thankfulness ; and re- 
viewing the various incidents of my life, 
commemorate thy goodness in both temporal 
and spiritual preservations. In the greatest 
extremity thou canst help us, when all other 
help seems ready to fail. And though our 
faith should be tried even to an hair's breadth, 
yet we beseech thee, suffer it not to be wholly 
extinguished, but grant that thy sustaining 
arm may be underneath to support us, and 
that the remembrance of thy past mercies 
may revive us with a little hope, and 
strengthen our trust in thee, who art the 
author of our salvation. 

lith, 2d Mo. — " Sufficient unto the day is 
the evil thereof."* This text cautions us 

* Matt. vi. 34. 



1808. 311 

not to be over-anxious for the morrow, not 
to be too careful about those things which 
may happen to us in future. When we feel 
our minds disposed to contemplate all the 
miseries which are incident to human life, to 
dwell with a painful anxiety on the various 
trying situations to which we may be ex- 
posed ; on the horrors of war and famine; on 
sickness and poverty ; may we not a little 
vary the text, and say to ourselves, sufficient 
for thyself is the evil tliou sustainest? Though 
it may be profitable for us to consider what 
we are, as men and creatures, the station we 
are placed in, and the inconveniences we are 
liable to, that we may not be astonished and 
overwhelmed with things which may come 
upon us ; yet, to be continually brooding- 
over them, will only unfit us for present 
duties, and perhaps not have any salutary 
influence in preparing us for those evils 
which may fall to our lot. Our reliance 
must be on Him, who promised his disciples, 
that when they were brought before kings 
and rulers for his sake, it should be given 
them in that same hour what to speak. If 
we are his disciples, we may also trust that 
he will afford us succour in the hour of need, 
and either make a way for us to escape, or 
strengthen us to bear the trials that may 



312 1808. 

come upon us. We should never be disposed 
to magnify our own sufferings; let us rather 
consider the many blessings we receive, and 
how little we deserve. This should not lead 
us to fear, but to confidence in the mercy of 
God : to thank him and take courage. Though 
we see others more deeply tried and afflicted, 
yet we know not what consolations they may 
likewise receive ; and we shall find it more 
profitable to endeavour to support our own 
trials, than-consider how we could support 
other people's. We should sympathise with 
their distress, and endeavour to alleviate it 
as much as'lies in our power; but not harass 
our minds with the fear of similar evils. 
Those things we dread will very likely never 
happen to us ; and, even if they should, our 
imagination may have pictured them much 
more insupportable than we shall find them 
in reality. We know our own failings and 
imperfections, and that much yet remains to 
be purified. We know also that this applies 
to us collectively, as well as individually. 

He who formed the world, best knows 
how to govern it, and adapt the means to the 
accomplishment of the end designed. What 
trials are necessary to complete our purifica- 
tion, he only knows ; and whether they are 
of a public or of a private nature, we should 



1808. 313 

endeavour to be patient under them, and 
look forward with hope, rather than give 
way to despair. 

7th, Sth Mo. — Exhortations to seek the 
Lord are frequent in Scripture. The same 
language has been adopted by many instruc- 
tors ; though in some instances it has been 
not a little abused. The same language is 
still held forth ; and the exhortation seems 
not less needful now, than it was in former 
days. Let us query what are the ideas con- 
nected with the phrase ? Under the Jewish 
dispensation, the Israelites were exhorted to 
seek the Lord with their whole heart, to keep 
all his commandments, and walk in his laws; 
and so long as they studied his statutes and 
walked in them, prosperity was to be their 
portion. David says, " Thou, Lord, hast 
not forsaken them that seek thee. 1 '* " Your 
hearts shall live that seek God."+ Amos 
says, u Seek ye Me," (the Lord) " and ye 
shall live.":]; Others of the prophets likewise 
give similar exhortations. The Apostle to 
the Hebrews says, " He that cometh to God, 
must believe that he is, and that he is a Re- 

* Psalm ix. 10. + Psalm lxix. 32. 

% Amos, v. 4. 

P 



314 1808. 

warder of them that diligently seek him."* 
Thus, faith is the first thing. Believing in 
God, and that all wisdom and power belong 
to him, we are led to look up to him with 
reverence. We desire to be informed what is 
his will concerning us, and we not only en- 
deavour to seek it by that outward revela- 
tion which he has been pleased to afford us, 
but feel our hearts disposed to receive any 
intimations of his will. To seek the Lord, 
does not imply any bustle of the mind, any 
more than of the body. Our own efforts 
cannot command the influence of Divine 
grace ; and to seek the Lord, seems to me not 
so much to require activity in the intellec- 
tual part, as to encourage that disposition 
of mind which is ready to receive " with 
meekness the ingrafted word." But let us 
not so far deceive ourselves as to imagine 
that we can be seeking the Lord, without a 
correspondence in outward actions. All the 
statutes and ordinances formerly were to be 
strictly kept, without any idolatrous mixture. 
We must endeavour, as far as we are able, to 
walk in u all the law of the Lord blameless." 
Thus uniting a right disposition with the 
proper regulation of our outward conduct, 
we shall seek the Lord to our comfort, and 
* Heb. xi. 6. 



1808. 315 

find him a rich u Rewarder of them that 
diligently seek him." 

1st , 9th Mo. — Hypocrisy is a detestable vice ; 
but I have been doubtful whether the endea- 
vour to shun it is not sometimes made a plea 
for those liberties and indulgences which 
our own consciences cannot approve. To be 
a hypocrite is to endeavour to deceive ; to 
endeavour to make people think better of us 
than we deserve, or really are. To avoid 
this, we may fall into the opposite extreme. 
We may say, for instance, I will not attend 
week-day meetings, lest it should carry an 
appearance of religion beyond what the rest 
of my conduct will bear. A first-day meet- 
ing I may attend as a thing of course, with- 
out any remarks being made upon it. My 
own mind tells me, I may be equally bene- 
fited by attending those on week-days ; but 
here comes reasoning on the other side of 
the question, and pleads, that if I do this, 
more will be expected from me in other 
things than will be found ; and thus I shall 
hurt religion, and incur the imputation of 
hypocrisy, if not the guilt. I am convinced 
of the benefits of temperance, but I am afraid 
to stand firm against intemperance, from the 



316 1808. 

same motives. In this way, minds seriously 
disposed may be led to make many breaches 
in morality, and wound the peace of their own 
conscience, from the fear of appearing over- 
religious, or being charged with hypocrisy. 
We should never consider ourselves as hy- 
pocrites for coming up in the practice of 
any known duties, however deficient we are 
obliged to acknowledge ourselves in some 
others ; and if we could but look forward, 
and see the benefits we gain, or the losses we 
sustain, from an adherence to, or deviation 
from rectitude of conduct, it would lead to 
circumspection, and so stimulate us in the 
pursuit of right, that every thing obstructing 
the cause of religion and virtue, would by 
degrees be removed, and those means adopted 
that would tend to its promotion. We 
must remember, the work is generally accom- 
plished by a gradual process ; by little and 
little, step after step, we arrive at the pro- 
posed summit. The descent which leads to 
danger is often likewise gradual. One little 
error is committed, one little means of help 
is omitted, and thus we sink by degrees, till 
we scarcely know how to rise again. Yet, 
O my soul ! if thou art sunk thus low, thou 
art not quite beyond hope. Help is laid 



1808. 317 

upon One who is able to bear. Pray for his 
mercy and assistance ; for His redeeming 
power who died for us. He will not turn a 
deaf ear to the supplication of the sincere in 
heart ; but by the renewings of his grace, 
will again raise thee from thy fallen state, 
and enable thee to sing the song of thanks 
for'thy deliverance. 

25th, 10th Mo.—" Every good gift and 
every perfect gift ,r * cometh from thee, O 
Lord ! Grant us faith, we beseech thee, to 
apply for those gifts, which thou art willing 
to confer upon those who ask aright ; and in 
the nothingness of self, enable us, through 
the ability afforded, to offer unto thee hearts 
devoted to thy service. 

25th and26th. — I can never regret feeling 
my heart overspread with love, however un- 
worthy may be the individual object of it. 
Love leads to charity ; to pity the weakness 
and frailties of others, and even to give up 
self to do them good and promote their wel- 
fare. A sense of duty may do all this ; but 
duty is but a cold motive in the comparison. 
Love is the most delightful sensation of the 
human soul ; and though, in this present ev il 

* James, i. 17. 



318 1808. 

world, it is often productive of painful feel- 
ings, yet it humanizes the roughness of na- 
ture, leads us to bear and forbear, and makes 
our sacrifices a pleasure. But love must not 
infringe upon justice; if we let it do this, 
it will lead us astray. When love and duty 
go hand in hand, we are in the safest situa- 
tion. We need not weigh and consider how 
far duty obliges us to go in serving another, 
what we ought to do, and where we may- 
stop. Prompted by love, we have no need 
to draw the discriminating line ; but find our 
own happiness in being able to indulge the 
overflowings of a benevolent mind. And, 
alas ! what plea can we have to be extreme 
to mark that which is done amiss ? Prone to 
evil, we can but lament the corruption of our 
nature ; and if we have not fallen so low as 
some others, be thankful for our preserva- 
tion, and consider that we perhaps have been 
favoured to escape many of those tempta- 
tions which have been a snare to others. 
May I ever be preserved from thinking my- 
self a great I ! I have never committed this 
fault, or the other fault. Oh may this lan- 
guage be far from me, and may I adopt that 
of, " Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner!" 
When I look into my own heart, and see all 
its deformity, I find cause for nothing but 



1808. 319 

deep humiliation. At the best, it seems but 
a continual struggle between nature and 
grace ; no room for boasting, but rather the 
fervent prayer of faith, that I may be en- 
dued with strength to overcome. 

7th, 12th Mo. — Increase my faith, O Lord. 
This is the frequent aspiration of my mind, 
and the breathing of my soul, when poured 
forth in supplication before thee. Suffer 
not the horrors of war, the dreadful scenes 
we hear of, or the miseries which surround 
us, ever to raise a doubt respecting the su- 
perintendance of thy providence; or lead us 
to say, where is the Lord ? Suffer not thy 
frail creature man to scrutinize thy conduct, 
or pry into the mysterious government of thy 
providence, but rather, in the littleness of 
self, adore thy majesty and power. And in 
this childlike dependance and meek submis- 
sion to thy will, often have we cause to 
thank thee that our courage is revived, and 
that even in weakness we are made strong ; 
and as thy influence is over mind as well as 
body, grant, we beseech thee, if not incon- 
sistent with thy will, some touches of thy 
love; that quickened by thy Spirit, we may 
be feelingly convinced that thou art good, 
and that for our consolation and happiness, 



320 1808. 

" Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and 
the glory, for ever" and ever. Amen. 

29th, \2th Mo.— Much has been written of 
late about evangelical preachers and evan- 
gelical preaching. The ideas affixed to the 
term I should suppose rather vague and un- 
certain. If evangelical preaching have any 
precise meaning, I should think it must be 
applied to the promulgating that doctrine 
delivered by Christ during his ministry on 
earth, and recorded by the Evangelists. 
Now, as" the disciple is not above his Mas- 
ter, nor the servant above his Lord,"* those 
truths and those instructions which were de- 
livered by Christ himself, should have the 
greatest weight ; and if any thing in the sub- 
sequent writings of the Apostles may seem 
to our shallow capacities not exactly to coin- 
cide, we had better leave them, as things 
" hard to be understood," than suffer them 
to infringe upon those precepts which were 
delivered by the lip of truth : precepts which 
not only contained those divine and moral 
truths necessary for the regulation of our 
outward conduct in all holiness and righte- 
ousness, but likewise enforced that inward 
purity of heart, which breathes love to God, 
* Matt. x. 21. 



1808. 321 

and good will to man. Our Saviour says, 
" he that hath my commands and keepeth 
them, he it is that loveth me."* Obedience 
is the fruit of love ; without which we should 
be like the barren fig-tree, which cumbered 
the ground. He likewise says, " Whosoever 
heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth 
them, I will liken him unto a wise man, 
which built his house upon a rock ; and the 
rain descended and the floods came, and the 
winds blew, and beat upon that house, and 
it fell not ; for it was founded upon a rock."+ 
We should be careful not to depreciate 
that which Christ has exalted. And those 
preachers who set aside the necessity of good 
works and moral obligations, (which some 
are accused of doing,) must give up all claim 
to the title of evangelical, since such doc- 
trine counteracts the whole tenour of the 
Gospel : and even the Apostle Paul, in whose 
writings there are some things hard to be un- 
derstood, says, respecting the elect, " Whom 
he did foreknow, he also did predestinate 
to be conformed to the image of his Son."t 
Therefore none can have any ground for 
supposing themselves of ihe elect, without 
bringing forth the fruits of righteousness ; 

* John, xiv. 21. t Matt. vii. 34, 25. 

% Rom. viii. 29. 

P5 



322 1808, 

for "he that committeth sin is of the devil."* 
Our Saviour says, " he that believeth on me 
hath everlasting life."t But this must be 
an active belief; for he likewise says, " not 
every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, 
shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but 
he that doeth the will of my Father which is 
in heaven. "J It is said, the devils believe 
and tremble ; but this is not effectually to 
believe ; for he that believeth in God, will 
endeavour to keep his commandments: thus, 
true, saving belief produces the fruit of good 
works. But not considering the harmony 
and coincidence of the Divine administra- 
tion, we sometimes depreciate one part of the 
scheme, that we may exalt another. Thus, 
when we feel the proneness of our nature to 
evil, and the need we stand in of a Saviour 
and Redeemer, and see that Christ is pointed 
out to us in the Scriptures, as the appointed 
of the Father, to be the propitiation for our 
sins, we gladly accept the free offering of his 
grace and mercy, and rejoicing that we have 
found the means of salvation, are unwilling 
to indulge any thought that may disparage 
the love of Christ to sinners, or lessen the 
greatness of his mercy to fallen man. Here 
warmth of feeling may lead some to imagine 
themselves of the elect, without considering 
* John, iii. 8. t John, vi. 47. % Matt. vii. 21. 



1809. 323 

that the offers of his grace and mercy are the 
means for our purification ; and that if Christ 
becomes our salvation, it must be by the 
operation of his power, sanctifying our hearts, 
and redeeming us from all evil. Thus shall 
we go on from one degree of holiness to 
another, till we arrive at the end of our 
faith, even the salvation of our souls. 



1809. 

2d Mo. — Toward the end of last month 
there were very extraordinary floods, occa- 
sioned by a rapid thaw succeeding some heavy- 
falls of snow. The fields around us exhibited 
little other appearance than a surface of 
water, and it flowed over the road at Balls- 
pond for a considerable w ay. Several bridges 
were washed down in different parts of the 
country. 

6th, 2d Mo. — I believe it is not profitable 
always to look at things on the most gloomy 
side. It has a tendency to weaken our faith 
in the providence of God, and his goodness 
to his creature man ; and sometimes brings 
us to that state in which we are ready to 
conclude that it is a blessing to be removed 
from this state of existence, and settle re- 



324 1809. 

specting others, as well as ourselves, that they 
are removed from evils to come. Yet all 
beyond the grave is dark and mysterious. 
Our only trust is in the mercy and goodness 
of God. But believing in the revelation he 
has vouchsafed to mankind, we feel a degree 
of confidence that if we have endeavoured to 
be conformable to his will, he will finally 
make us happy. And cannot we feel the same 
trust and confidence in Him, with regard to 
the few fleeting years we may have to pass 
in this vale of mortality ? Will not He, who 
is the final Arbiter of our future state, con- 
duct us through the present, most to our ad- 
vantage ? Most assuredly he will. But we 
see that u he maketh his sun to rise on the 
evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on 
the just and on the unjust."* That " all 
things come alike to all;"t that we have no 
power to avert the miseries of life, nor can 
any efforts of our own secure to us temporal 
gratifications. I mean not to undervalue 
human prudence and foresight ; I believe it 
is so ordered by Providence, that in many 
things they should have their effect, though 
always with the liability to fail, and perhaps 
in public calamities they will the least avail. 
If we are continually viewing things on the 

♦Matt. v. 45. t Eccles. ix. 2. 



1809. 325 

dark side, and anticipating evil, we not only 
suffer in apprehension as well as in reality, 
but by indulging such a gloomy disposition, 
we are incapable of relishing those little 
diversities of joy, which at times fall to the 
lot of most men. In those seasons when we 
feel our spirits revived, and when our hearts 
are open to receive the blessings that are 
bestowed, and enjoy the innocent gratifica- 
tions of life, let them ascend in grateful 
thanks to the Author of all good : " In the 
day of prosperity be joyful ;"* do not endea- 
vour to check it by turning to take a view of 
the miseries of life, but indulge it with 
moderation. We know that in the common 
course of things a reverse must come ; that 
this life is only a state of trial and probation, 
and that we should be temperate in all things; 
but the best preparation for its evils is an 
humble resignation to the Disposer of all 
events, a trust that he will be our never- 
failing support, and that all things will work 
together for good. 

2&th,2d Mo. — In the parable of our Saviour 
respecting the distribution of the talents, the 
servant who had received the five, gained 
other five ; and the servant who had received 

* Eccles. \ii. 14. 



326 1809. 

the two, gained other two. Both of these 
received the sentence of "Well done," from 
their lord. And if he who had received the 
one talent had made the same proportionate 
improvement, and gained another one, there 
is no room to doubt but that he likewise 
would have received the same approbation 
and the same reward. There seems therefore 
no cause for discouragement to any diffident 
minds, if upon a review of themselves they 
conclude that they have done and can do but 
little; since if they do what their hands find 
to do, with the desire of pleasing their Mas- 
ter, there is no doubt of their services being 
accepted by him. The broad river, that fur- 
nishes water to towns and cities, and has 
commerce floating on its surface, attracts the 
eye of beholders, and is obviously useful. 
Smaller rivers may in degree confer the same 
benefits. The little brook when compared 
with these, may appear very insignificant; 
yet still it has its use, and by gliding gently 
on in the course designed it, its benefit is felt 
in many solitary cottages, and it furnishes 
refreshment to the cattle that are grazing by 
its banks. Thus we may compare the man 
who has the five talents, and who makes the 
proper improvement of them, to the broad 
river : he stands conspicuous, and his useful- 



1809. 327 

ness is felt and admired. But the man with 
the one talent, who may be compared to the 
little brook, need not estimate himself as of 
no use, and though he may shrink from a 
comparison of his own labours and abilities 
with those of the other, yet, if he pursue his 
right course and occupy with his one talent, 
he will no doubt be esteemed as a faithful 
servant. Between the broad river and the 
little brook, there are a great variety of 
streams of different dimensions : so between 
the five talents and the one, there may be 
many gradations. To keep in our own sphere 
is a lesson necessary for us to learn. Not to 
aspire after those things which are beyond 
us, or fancy we must do great things because 
another does them. Every man is not called 
to the same station, or the same employments ; 
and if we do the best we can, in the situation 
in which we are placed, I believe it is all that 
will be required at our hands. To make war 
with our own evil tempers and inclinations, 
to subdue self, and keep it in subjection, is 
sometimes laborious work, and will be taken 
into the account by Him who has pronounced 
a blessing on the pure in heart, and, like the 
two mites cast by the poor woman into the 
treasury, be esteemed of more value than the 
large sums cast in by those who were rich. 



328 1809. 

20£^, 3d Mo. — Justice requires of every 
man that he should keep his expenses within 
the limits of his income. Prudence requires 
something more; that he should, if possible, 
make some little savings, to provide for sick- 
ness or other contingencies. Those who 
form their establishment to the extent of 
their income, (let the situation or class in 
life be what it may,) and mean to be just, 
subject themselves to a state of frequent 
irritation. Little disappointments sometimes 
occur, or expenses that they had not calcu- 
lated upon ; and their minds are in a state of 
perturbation how to keep up their accus- 
tomed mode of life, and yet provide for con- 
tingencies. To retrench is always so difficult, 
that it seems much wiser to arrange one's 
plans upon too small a scale, than upon one 
too large. Though economy is always proper, 
a rigid attention to it in trifling particulars 
is frequently irksome and harassing to the 
spirits. Notwithstanding all human pru- 
dence and foresight, there are many vicissi- 
tudes in life which cannot be guarded against. 
The rich become poor, and the poor become 
rich, without any merit or demerit of their 
own. In the former case, an entire change 
of plan becomes necessary, and we need not 
be ashamed of it, when it does not arise from 



1809. 329 

our own fault. In such a case we must model 
our plan according to existing circumstances ; 
and perhaps shall feel less on the whole than 
while we are struggling with endeavours to 
keep up appearances, and studying where we 
can save. Where we cannot save, we easily 
settle ; but where we can save, is often very 
difficult to find out. 

16th,4ithMo. — What is religion r is a query 
that sometimes occurs to my mind. One of 
Johnson's definitions of it is, "Virtue, as 
founded upon reverence of God, and expec- 
tations of future rewards and punishments." 
I think I should rather define it to be a sense 
of the impression of Deity upon the soul of 
man. As the mind becomes enlarged, and 
the understanding opens, it looks up to God 
as its Creator ; and in contemplating his 
wisdom, power and goodness, is led to reve- 
rence and to adore the Author of its exist- 
ence. Thus religion takes possession of the 
soul, and subsists between God and it; and, 
as we feel that all good comes from him, that 
our happiness must depend on him, and on 
having our will conformed to his will, we 
are led to the practice of all virtue; which I 
should rather say, flows from religion as its 
source, than that it is religion itself. 



330 1809. 

If religion be the impression of Deity 
upon the soul, whence arise such differences 
amongst mankind? The differences amongst 
mankind in various respects, seem a problem 
hard to solve. How they originated in beings 
of the same species, we can form no conjec- 
ture, unless they arose from the workings of 
man's imagination. No doubt, a difference 
at present subsists with regard to religion, as 
well as other things, from habits, manners, 
and education, in the different parts of the 
world. But I think we scarcely hear or 
read of any nation, without some impressions 
of religion; however they may be obscured 
or disregarded, God has not left himself 
wholly without a witness, even in the darkest 
regions of the earth. 

20th. — Farther considerations on the fore- 
going, lead me to doubt whether the distinc- 
tion be not more in words than reality, be- 
tween virtue considered as a feeling of the 
mind, "founded upon reverence of God," 
and the sense of Deity on the soul. But with 
the idea of virtue, we generally associate 
something external, that may bring it into 
action; whereas, religion having God for its 
author and end, is not dependant on outward 
circumstances, neither is the exercise of it 



1809. 331 

infringed by the most solitary situation ima- 
ginable. The soul may ascend to God in 
holy meditations and devout aspirations, 
without any external communication. 

28th, Sth Mo. — To bestow much attention 
upon the children of the poor, in having them 
decently trained and properly educated, 
seems the fashion of the present day. How 
desirable is it that steady, actuating prin- 
ciples should be the foundation of plans so 
useful to the community; and not beneficial 
only to the present rising generation, but 
in all probability to succeeding generations 
also! Fashion is a fluctuating thing; it has 
no solidity. And though I firmly believe 
there are many who seriously consider the 
subject of benefiting the poor, and the im- 
portance of giving them that portion of 
learning and knowledge, which may prove 
advantageous to them through life ; yet I 
believe there are many others who follow 
where fashion leads, without bestowing much 
thought either upon the cause or the effect 
of their conduct. 

While it is the prevailing fashion for 
mothers to nurse their little ones, and pay 
attention to their children in general, we see 
it practised with apparent pleasure and ala- 



332 1809. 

crity. But let the tide turn, and I doubt 
whether it would not be complained of as 
an insupportable fatigue. Nature would 
plead in vain, and the calls of duty be un- 
heard or disregarded. We are often in 
danger of endeavouring to make one virtue 
serve as a substitute for others. We meet 
with but few characters so listless, that they 
are satisfied with themselves without doing 
any thing that may seem commendable; and, 
therefore, adopting the virtue most preva- 
lent, they settle in self-complacency. 

If we endeavour to do good to the poor, 
upon the broad, solid basis of right prin- 
ciple, because it is our duty, according to our 
ability, to benefit mankind, we must consider 
the middle classes likewise as having some 
claim upon us, and shall not wantonly exer- 
cise their patience, by giving them unneces- 
sary trouble, or by withholding from trades- 
people the payment of their just dues, which 
often causes them inconvenience and vexation 
of spirit. How many families are there who 
adopt plans of life, which preclude their 
servants from attendance on places of wor- 
ship ; thus preventing them from being in the 
way of receiving instruction, and making 
what is called the Sabbath a day of bustle 
and fatigue, instead of a day of rest! Yet 



1809. 333 

many of these, perhaps, give a portion of 
their substance to support charities, or even 
a portion of their time to attend to the in- 
struction of poor children, though so little 
anxious for that of the adults who are more 
immediately under their care. Surely, where 
this is the case, there must be a want of those 
steady, fixed principles, which lead to con- 
sistency of conduct ; a want of that true 
Christian spirit, which breathes not only the 
comprehensive exhortation, " Do good unto 
all men," but likewise, " Whatsoever ye 
would that men should do to you, do ye even 
so to them."* 

mth, 10th Mo.— " Shall not the Judge of 
all the earth do right ?"t Most assuredly 
he will. This is the all-sustaining confidence 
that supports us through the vicissitudes of 
life. Whether we are involved in public 
calamities, or feel ourselves under the pres- 
sure of individual suffering, we lay hold on 
this faith as a door of hope ; and whether we 
are bemoaning ourselves under present evils, 
or rooking forward with the fear of those 
that are to come, the confidence that the 
Judge of all the earth will do right, is a 
sure source of consolation ; bears up our 

* Matt.vii. 12. + Gen. xviii. 25. 



334 1809. 

drooping spirits, when they are ready to sink 
into despondency, and revives us with the 
hope that we shall be enabled to get through 
all difficulties, while the various dispensa- 
tions of Providence, so incomprehensible to 
our shallow capacities, are all working to- 
gether for good. 

This firm reliance on the wisdom, mercy 
and goodness of God, enables us to receive 
every thing with thankfulness, as coming 
from him, and according to his will. But I 
cannot go quite so far as Law on this sub- 
ject, or conclude, that every man born into 
the world comes at the time, and under the 
circumstances most beneficial for him ; for 
since in the present state of things, there 
must be a variety of situations, how each 
situation can be the best possible for that 
individual who fills it, whether born of good 
parents or bad parents, or w4th a variation 
in many external things, which may be con- 
sidered as tending to spiritual as well as tem- 
poral benefit, seems rather beyond my com- 
prehension ; though, consistently with the 
goodness of God, we must suppose all to be 
in that state wherein they have sufficient 
means afforded of attaining to salvation. 

Now, though every thing should be re- 
ceived with thanksgiving, as coming from 



1809. 335 

God, yet it does not seem to me consistent 
with the feelings of human nature, to receive 
all things alike. When what we consider 
blessings, are bestowed upon us, our hearts 
rise spontaneously in gratitude to the Giver; 
and I believe such feelings elevate the soul, 
and are beneficial to it. When what appears 
the reverse is handed to us, perhaps to re- 
ceive it with patient acquiescence with the 
Divine will, is all that we can accomplish ; 
though faith in him as the good physician, 
who administers only those bitter potions 
that are needful to cure us of our maladies, 
may excite us to thankfulness for his watch- 
ful care over us, particularly when we have 
faith to believe that it will tend to our puri- 
fication : but here the thankfulness arises 
from hope. The thorn in the flesh, however 
salutary, is not pleasing; and we shall be 
apt, like Paul, to pray for its removal, though 
with submission to the Divine will. We 
cannot be said to be thankful for that which 
we pray to have removed, though we may 
be strengthened to bear it patiently, by the 
reply, u My grace is sufficient for thee." I 
cannot be thankful that my eye-sight is very 
indifferent, and my hearing defective. If I 
were to attempt to thank God in words, 
my mind would revolt from it, as not pro- 



336 1809. 

ceeding from the heart, and I should only 
act the hypocrite before Him, who would 
see through the disguise. Yet, I trust, 
I endeavour not only to be resigned to 
these trials, but patiently to acquiesce in 
them as the will of God, being firmly per- 
suaded that all his dispensations are in mercy, 
and will work together for good to those 
who love and fear him. Law says, u As 
therefore when we think of God himself, we 
are to have no sentiments but of praise and 
thanksgiving, so when we look at those things 
which are under the direction of God, and 
governed by his providence, we are to re- 
ceive them with the same tempers of praise 
and gratitude." — " If a man cannot thank 
and praise God, as well in calamities and 
sufferings, as in prosperity and happiness, he 
is as far from the piety of a Christian, as he 
that only loves them that love him, is from 
the charity of a Christian." I doubt I am in 
both cases too far from those desirable at- 
tainments. Though we cannot, consistently 
with the truth of our feelings, thank God for 
trials and sufferings under which we imme- 
diately groan, nor bless him " most for the 
severe," yet we may feel our hearts raised in 
gratitude and thankfulness to him, for those 
rays of light and hope which sometimes 



1809. 337 

beam upon the soul in the darkest hour 
of affliction, and enable us even in sorrow 
to rejoice. 

15th, 11th Mo. — As thou hast declared, 
O Lord, that " he that honoureth not the 
son, honoureth not the father,"* and that 
thou and thy beloved son are one, we entreat 
thee to accept our desires to worship thee as 
we ought : and as our finite capacities can- 
not comprehend the mystery, if we form 
wrong conceptions concerning it, we be- 
seech thee, O Lord, pity and pardon our 
mistakes. And be graciously pleased, we 
beseech thee, to accept our endeavours to 
honour thy beloved Son, by obeying his 
commands, and conforming ourselves to his 
precepts, through the assistance of the Holy 
Spirit imparted by him, that so we may be 
partakers of that peace which he gives to his 
followers, and worship before the footstool 
of thy throne forever. 

8th, 12th Mo. — Watch over one another 
for good. This sentiment has much im- 
pressed my mind ; and though I cannot find 
it as a Scripture text, 1 think it accords with 

* John, v. 23. 

Q 



338 1809. 

the doctrines of Christianity, and may fre- 
quently be useful for our meditation. Those 
who are watching over their neighbours and 
associates, with the view of spying out their 
defects, are so far from the genuine spirit of 
Christianity, that even the precepts of Him, 
who came in love to redeem and to save 
those who are lost, would perhaps have but 
little effect. But there is another class who 
think they do well to watch over one ano- 
ther, that they may keep things in order, and 
promote the welfare of society. These I 
wish to be particularly impressed with the 
latter part of the sentence, " for good." This 
should be the sole end and aim of all our 
watchings over each other ; and whenever 
we act, it should be for the good of the in- 
dividual or the community. If these should 
ever clash, it throws a difficulty in the way 
not easily got over. The appointment of 
overseers in our society may be a very useful 
one in the hands of those capable of exe- 
cuting the office with propriety ; but it is an 
office of no small importance. A man may 
be a religious man, and mean well, without 
the qualifications requisite for such a station. 
Religion is the foundation on which the su- 
perstructure must be raised; but there re- 
quires a sound understanding and a discri- 



1809. 339 

minating judgment, to enable us to discern, 
in many cases, how we ought to act. 

10th. — To do evil that good may come, is 
reprobated by the Apostle. The evil is cer- 
tain; the good must be very precarious. With 
regard to tale-bearing and detraction, I have 
often thought it difficult to draw the line 
between what is such, and what is not. 
There is certainly a marked distinction of 
character amongst men : and the good of 
society sometimes requires that it should be 
held up to view. I am not for that false 
tenderness and palliative mode of proceed- 
ing, that would cover the turpitude of bad 
actions, or make every one alike; but before 
we publish the failings of others, let us weigh 
our motives, and see that they are good. 
We are often surrounded by those whose 
minds we wish to enlighten, and give them 
a just view of men and things. This cannot 
be done without sometimes pointing out the 
riffht and the wrons: actions of different 
people, and, I think, does not come under 
the imputation of detraction ; for every man 
must stand or fall, according to his own 
actions. But if by confidential whispers we 
traduce the character of another needlessly, 
or report any thing not well-founded, we 



340 1810. 

are certainly culpable; likewise, if we en- 
courage secret information from others. If 
we always consider the motive and end, and 
watch over others in love for their good, it 
will be the best means of preserving us from 
erring on the right hand or on the left. 

We should not lead young people astray, 
by a false fear and timidity in speaking the 
truth ; at the same time, we should point out 
the impropriety of actions, and hold up to 
censure, the failings rather than the men ; 
considering that in a greater or less degree 
we all err, and fall short of what we ought 
to be, and stand in need of the kindness and 
forbearance of others in return. 



1810. 

6th, 1st Mo. — Locke says, " children may 
tell when they are hungry or thirsty, and 
should have the wants of nature supplied, 
but should not be permitted to choose for 
themselves, and say, I would have wine or 
white bread." That " the wants of fancy, 
children should never be gratified in, nor 
suffered to mention;" and that " even ask- 
ing for them should be a sufficient reason for 
a refusal." 1 think this position is wrong in 
two respects. In the first place, the prohi- 



1810. 341 

bition of asking would deprive children of 
many little innocent indulgences, which 
could hardly be anticipated by even a kindly 
attentive parent. And in the next place, it 
would deprive them of the benefit of learn- 
ing to bear refusals, which generally make a 
part of the discipline of life. Besides, if a 
child knows that it is not to have a thing be- 
cause it asks for it, the natural consequence 
is, that it will learn habits of circumlocu- 
tion, and endeavour by some indirect means 
to accomplish its end ; and this will, most 
probably, have a more pernicious effect on 
the mind, than the indulgence of many little 
fancies. T should wish as much as possible 
to encourage children to tell me, with open- 
ness and simplicity, all their little wants and 
wishes; and by gratifying those which were 
not improper, I should conciliate their affec- 
tions, and at the same time enforce the ne- 
cessity of their submitting to my judgment, 
and patiently bearing a refusal where I saw 
it necessary or proper. 

I believe Locke is right, when he says, 
" Every one can more easily bear a denial 
from himself than from any body else ;" and 
certainly, children should by degrees learn to 
consider and judge whether what they ask for 
is proper or not ; but J should fear that this, 



342 1810. 

inculcated too early, would produce reserve, 
and in a timid mind, give rise to slavish fear. 
Though habits of self-command, and self- 
denial are essentially necessary in our pro- 
gress through life, yet that sort of indepen- 
dent spirit that cannot bear to be refused 
any thing", has some tendency to foster a pride 
which cannot bear to be obliged. In our 
endeavours to avoid one rock, we not unfre- 
quently split upon another ; and it is no easy 
task so to steer our course as to avoid all the 
different shoals that surround us. In train- 
ing up children, it will not do merely to 
adopt the best written plans of education. 
Without entering into the spirit of the 
writer, and forming a judgment for our- 
selves, we shall be in danger of often misun- 
derstanding the tendency of his rules, and 
misapplying them. Besides, practical ex- 
perience will often rectify theory, and bring- 
to light, objections that could scarcely be 
foreseen. Different tempers and dispositions 
will require different treatment; and though 
some general rules may be profitablyadopted, 
yet, after having studied the best treatises on 
education, much must depend on the proper 
application of them, and a consideration of 
their suitableness to existing circumstances 
and situations. 



1810. m$ 

29th, 1st Mo. — When we take a retrospec- 
tive view of ourselves, turn over the leaves 
of our past lives, and observe, in deeply-en- 
graved characters, the many sins we have 
committed from our youth up, and the many 
deviations from that path of rectitude which 
we ought to have followed j we may well be 
dismayed, and fear and trembling may take 
hold upon us. 

In this depressed, humiliating state, what 
a door of hope and consolation is opened to 
us, by considering ourselves as still objects 
of that invitation graciously vouchsafed to 
man, " Repent ye therefore, and be con- 
verted, that your sins may be blotted out:":* 
The offer of forgiveness is still made to us : 
the fountain is yet open in which we may be 
cleansed from our impurities, if we will but 
submit to the operation necessary for our re- 
finement. Had we only to look forward to be- 
ing weighed in the balance of the sanctuary, 
we should have cause to be cast down ; most 
assuredly knowing that we shall be found 
wanting. But we have an Intercessor who 
is touched with our infirmities, and who will 
compassionate the weakness of our nature, 
when we dare not plead any thing in excuse 
for ourselves. For sinning and repenting, in 
* Acts, Hi. 19. 



344 1810. 

a greater or a lesser degree, seems to be our 
progress through life. Sometimes we may 
be said to become the subjects of sin wil- 
lingly, by giving way to those tempers and 
temptations, which we know will eventually 
lead to it. At others, we are perhaps off 
our watch, and are taken by surprise ; for 
many are the difficulties we have to encoun- 
ter in this frail state of existence. But 
though we can only look back with deep 
regret and humiliation at our past failings, 
yet we must acknowledge that we have some- 
times struggled against sin, and have been 
strengthened to overcome. This should en- 
courage our faith and hope. However short 
we may be of the " mark for the prize of our 
high calling," we should be engaged still to 
press af er it, humbly praying for that assist- 
ance which will enable us to get the better 
of our corrupt nature, and fit us for those 
mansions, where we shall find rest to our 
weary souls. 

8th, 3d Mo. — A strict adherence to truth is 
not only an essential duty in a religious point 
of view, but is indispensably necessary to pre- 
serve the morals of any community. If we al- 
low ourselves little deviations, and consider 
them as trifling, our minds will by degrees 



1810. 345 

grow callous to things of more importance; 
andweshall be in danger of finding' somesalvo 
for the grossest violations of that principle of 
truth, which ought ever to be held sacred. 

I7th,6th Mo.-" They that fear God, and 
work righteousness, will be accepted of him." 
The revival of this sentence at meeting this 
morning, gave rise to the following medita- 
tions. " The fear of the Lord is the be- 
ffinnino- of wisdom."* It creates the desire 
to know and to do that which will be pleas- 
ing in his sight. And as our minds become 
open to receive instruction, and desires are 
raised that we may benefit by it, it leads to 
a serious application to the Source of all 
power, that we may receive strength to u work 
righteousness." For we can never contem- 
plate ourselves, without feeling how weak 
and frail we are, and acknowledging that in 
us dwelleth no good thing. Even when we 
would do good, evil is present with us ; and 
all our wrestling seems ineffectual, unless 
strengthened by superior aid. Flow gladly, 
then, shall we hear the intimation, " Ask and 
ye shall receive. "+ Humbled in mind, we 
shall gratefully accept the offered terms of 
salvation ; remission of our sins through 

* Psalm cxi. 10. t John, xvi. 24. 

Q 5 



346 1810. 

Christ, and the assistance of his power to 
enable us to overcome. Thus shall we press 
forward towards the mark, and be accepted 
of God through Him. 

29th, 7th 31o.— u To rejoice with them 
that do rejoice, and to weep with them that 
weep,"* are some of the best feelings of 
human nature. They are sympathies, which 
endear man to man ; and, in minds properly 
regulated, not only lead to promoting happi- 
ness in others, but likewise to the increase of 
our own. 

19th, 8^ iVo.— OLord God, sensible of the 
awfulnessat all times of approaching thee in 
prayer, more especially, vocally in the con- 
gregation of the people who are assembled 
to worship thee, taking upon us, as it were, 
to be a mouth for them, we beseech thee, 
suffer not any to warm themselves by a fire of 
their own kindling, but let them wait till 
their- lips are touched with a live coal from 
thy holy altar. And if, under the influence 
of thy life-giving presence, they feel it in- 
cumbent on them to speak forth thy praise, 
strengthen them, we beseech thee, so to pre- 
sent their offering, that it may be accepted of 

* Rom. xii. 15. 



1810. 347 

thee. And we farther entreat thee, O Lord, 
that thou wouldst be pleased so to guide 
and preserve those who are called publicly to 
approach thee in prayer, or to speak in thy 
name, that they may not do it in words only, 
but that, through thy sacred influence, their 
conduct and conversation may also glorify 
thee, and shew forth thy praise. 

22c?, 8th Mo.— When thou sittest in judg- 
ment, O Lord, who. shall be able to stand 
before thee? We may plead that we are 
weak and frail, but we cannot plead that we 
have wanted power to do better than we 
have done. We can only throw ourselves 
upon thy mercy, and pray that we may be 
forgiven through the intercession of Jesus 
Christ. W~e stand before thee as culprits 
before their judge; not to vindicate our- 
selves, but to pray that thou wouldst be 
merciful in passing sentence upon us, and 
that through the mediation of Him, who came 
to seek and to save that which is lost, thou 
wouldst be graciously pleased to pardon our 
iniquities and transgressions. And grant, 
O Lord, if it be consistent with thy will, 
that as this earthly tenement sinks into decay, 
our spiritual life may be invigorated, and 



348 1810. 

prepared for those mansions where we shall 
be blessed with thee for ever. 



An account of the latter end of the righte- 
ous is often encouraging and satisfactory, and 
tends to animate us with the hope that our 
endeavours to live the life of the righteous 
will not be in vain. But I am not partial to 
dreams and visions. In serious matters it 
appears to me not profitable to excite the 
flights of imagination, or give up the mind 
to fanciful representations and allusions. 
Their tendency is to sink the ideas rather 
than exalt them, and ludicrously familiarize 
those things which ought to be contemplated 
with reverence. The lively hope, and strong 
assurances felt by some near the close of life, 
(and which in a few instances seem almost to 
triumph over the feelings of nature,) are not 
necessary appendages to an entrance into a 
state of blessedness. For though it is u not 
by works of righteousness which we have 
done, but according to his mercy,"* that he 
saveth us, yet it is added, " by the washing 
of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy- 
Ghost ;" by the cleansing us from our sins, 
and influencing us by his power, that we may 
fulfil all righteousness. Our obedience at 
* Titus, iii. 5. 



1810. 349 

best is but very imperfect, and we shall have 
need to pray for mercy and forgiveness. But 
as we become more and more baptized into 
his power, we shall find the work advance ; 
and being renewed in the spirit of our minds, 
may look forward with hope and trust in the 
mercy of God, through Jesus Christ, the 
Mediator ; and though not favoured with any 
strongassurances orbeatific visions, may enjoy 
a well-grounded belief that we shall be ad- 
mitted into those mansions of bliss prepared 
for the righteous. 

23d, 11th Mo. — " Remember now thy Crea- 
tor in the days of thy youth, while the evil 
days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when 
thou shalt say I have no pleasure in them."* 
I have long since passed the time when this 
exhortation could be applicable to me ; and 
am perhaps advancing to that period, when 
the years draw nigh, in which I shall say, " I 
have no pleasure in them." Nearly on the 
verge of sixty-three, it is not much to be 
wondered at, if life have, in a good degree, 
lost its relish ; and we may be said to pass 
through it, rather than enjoy it. Though the 
" sun or the light" are not yet darkened, yet 
they are so obscured, (or rather the deficiency 

* Eccles. xii. 1. 



350 1810. 

of sight is so great,) as to make time often 
hang heavy on my hands ; and a defect of 
hearing is frequently an exercise of patience, 
when conversation is passing around me. 
With these warnings, that this tenement is 
nearly worn out, and approaching towards 
decay, I likewise feel a want of energy, that 
seems almost to make me shrink from any 
exertion, and at times, to speak metapho- 
rically, even the grasshopper becomes a bur- 
den. In this state there is consolation de- 
rived from considering that we have remem- 
bered our Creator in the days of our youth, 
without waiting to be driven to it by the de- 
bilities and infirmities of age. Though I 
doubt few of us can take a retrospective 
view, and look back without many regrets; 
yet, if we can say with the Psalmist, " Lord, 
I have loved the habitation of thy house, and 
the place where thine honour dwelleth," 
there is room to hope that mercy will super- 
sede judgment, and that our souls will not 
be gathered " with sinners." He likewise 
adds, " but as for me, I will walk in mine 
integrity ; redeem me, and be merciful unto 
me."* 

Though my backslidings have been many, 
I have desired to love and serve thee; there- 
* Psalm xxvi.8, 9, 11. 



1810. 351 

fore, I beseech thee, O Lord, to redeem me 
from evil, and be merciful to my transgres- 
sions. I am often fearful that I am not suf- 
ficiently thankful for blessings ; but am more 
disposed to regret privations, than to number 
the good things I am favoured with. My 
feelings are not always consistent. If the 
world has lost its charms, and this life be 
only a shadow, why should there be any re- 
luctance to quit it upon the first summons ? 
Perhaps there are many who have no wish 
to go back ; they are willing to approach the 
confines of another world ; but when they 
get near the last point, they stop and hesi- 
tate, and are inclined to linger a little on 
this side. We acknowledge this life to be 
but a shadow, but we want an assurance, that 
when we quit it, we shall be in possession of 
a happy reality. We stand appalled at the 
prospect of the dark valley we must pass 
through, before we can become inheritors of 
light, and are inclined to put the evil day a 
little further off. We still cling* to earth, as 
if we were afraid to lose our hold. By faith 
only shall we be supported through this 
dreary passage. The more fully we resign 
ourselves to the disposal of Him, who careth 
for us, and watcheth over us for good, the 
more firmly we shall feel his supporting 



352 1810. 

power. Let us trust with confidence in our 
guide ; in Him, who has opened the way for 
us, and is touched with a sense of our infir- 
mities. Thus will faith increase our hope, 
and hope strengthen our faith; and we shall 
be enabled to pass safely through the awful 
gloom, to the realms of everlasting night. 

16^, 12th Mo.—O thou invisible Being, 
be graciously pleased to enable us to ap- 
proach thee through the power of faith. 
Our faculties cannot comprehend thee. Poor 
finite man can form no adequate idea of the 
glory of thy Majesty. But beholding the 
things that are visible, we are led to the con- 
templation of thee, the invisible God. And 
we are persuaded by reason, as well as by 
revelation, that though thy throne be in 
Heaven, thou dwellest also amongst the chil- 
dren of men ; and that all creation is upheld 
by the energy of thy power, which first 
brought the world into existence. And as 
we have thankfully to believe, that of all thy 
wondrous works, man is not the least under 
thy notice, we pray that thou wouldst bring 
us all into subjection to thy most Holy will; 
that so, order may rise out of confusion, and 
universal harmony prevail. And as we be- 
come thus subdued, we entreat thee more 



1810. 353 

and more to enlighten our minds with the 
knowledge of " thee, the only true God, 
and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent."* 
That so, our path may be, " as the shining 
light, that shineth more and more unto the 
perfect day."t And " when this corruptible 
shall have put on incorruption, and this 
mortal shall have put on immortality,"^: 
we may, through the efficacy of redeeming 
power, become heirs of eternal life. 

26th, 12th Mo.— To teach children dissi- 
mulation in any shape, is to make a very dan- 
gerous experiment on the young and tender 
mind. Sincerity is the foundation of every 
virtue ; and where openness and candour of 
disposition prevail, they afford the opportu- 
nity of rectifying many wrong ideas, and in- 
grafting right ones in their room ; likewise, 
if any little twist appear, by being known, it 
may be set to rights before the improper 
bend become strengthened and confirmed. 
Our corrupt nature seems prone to deceit 
and hypocrisy, and I am doubtful whether it 
does not often cost more trouble to appear 
to be what we wish, than it would to be- 
come so in reality. Education should coun- 
teract this tendency, and by encouraging 

* John, xi i . 3. + Piov. iv. 18. % I Cor. xv. 5-k 



354 1810. 

openness and sincerity, any warp, either in 
principle or practice, will come under our 
observation, and by that means give us the 
opportunity of guarding the young mind 
against its influence. 

The plea I have heard made use of, in ex- 
cuse for concealment and deception, is to 
avoid giving pain to those whose happiness 
we wish to promote, but who, on many sub- 
jects, both with regard to principles and 
actions, think differently from ourselves. 
This attention to the feelings of others has 
something plausible in appearance, and per- 
haps may lead parents to say to their chil- 
dren, " You shall do so, or so, but do not tell 
such, or such a near connexion, because it 
would give them uneasiness." I do not mean 
to infer that this licence would be allowed 
respecting any breach of morality, but only 
respecting those subjects on which people 
think differently. But can any parent suppose, 
that having inculcated this doctrine, he shall 
escape its being turned upon himself? Chil- 
dren are not automatons, which can be acted 
upon at our pleasure ; they think and reason 
for themselves, and that sometimes at a very 
early age. As their years increase, they 
must gain more liberty ; and their language 
will naturally be, " I will follow my in- 



1810. 355 

clinations in this or the other thing, but I 
will not tell my father or my mother, lest I 
should make them uneasy." Thus, the op- 
portunity is lost to the parents of pointing 
out to their children the dangers and impro- 
prieties to which their sentiments or con- 
duct may lead, or of opening their minds to 
perceive the evil tendencies of some indul- 
gences which had not come within the view 
of their youthful minds. I do not mean to 
aver that we are bound at all times to speak 
" the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but 
the truth." As we arrive at years of matu- 
rity, we have the power of discriminating, and 
may often see that silence is best for us ; but 
I do aver, that if we speak, it should be the 
truth, and nothing but the truth ; and not 
only the words of truth, but that they should 
convey truth to our hearers. If we allow 
ourselves latitude in this respect, we shall 
be in danger of losing that reverence for 
truth, which ought always to be impressed on 
our minds. If we consult our own feelings, 
we shall be convinced that a candid open 
character always meets our approbation ; 
that the man of uprightness and integrity, 
on whose word we may rely, and who, we 
are confident, will not deceive us, has always 
a large share of our respect and esteem ; 



356 1810. 

and that so far as any one recedes from this 
character, in such degree our respect and 
esteem will lessen, though there may still be 
other traits which endear the person to us, 
and make us wish to find excuses for that which 
our judgment must condemn as wrong. 

Casuists sometimes put questions respect- 
ing truth, that are rather puzzling to the 
human mind; as, whether it might be neces- 
sary to tell a madman truth, when mischief 
was likely to follow ? Whether one might 
point a finger, to make him believe a man he 
was in pursuit of was gone a different way 
from the reality ? or, whether one might tell 
an untruth to a robber, to save one's own 
life, or that of a friend ? Such situations are, 
I think, scarcely within the verge of possi- 
bility : and how the impulse of our feelings 
would operate in such a critical moment — a 
moment that would produce such terror 
and dismay, that we could hardly expect to 
be self-collected— it is very difficult to de- 
termine. But there is certainly danger in a 
previous decision that we may deviate from 
truth ; for when the line is once broken 
through, it would be puzzling to fix the 
place where to stop. We should see one 
case so nearly resembling the first, and an- 
other so little varied from that, that the pre- 



1811. 357 

cise mark where to fix the boundary, and 
determine, so far shalt thou go, and no far- 
ther, would leave us in as much perplexity 
as we were in at the first. 



1811. 

6th, 1st Mo. — O thou omnipotent God, 
the heavens declare thy glory, and the firma- 
ment sheweth thy handiwork. All creation 
proclaims thy wisdom, and the plenitude of 
thy power. As thou hast made man for a 
purpose of thy own glory, we beseech thee 
so touch his heart with thy love, that he may 
individually feel that thou art good as well 
as great, and be led to celebrate thy name 
with thanksgiving and praise. Every good 
and every perfect gift cometh from thee. 
Faith is thy gift, O God. Grant, we be- 
seech thee, that it may not so fail, as to 
frustrate thy kindness towards us. If our 
belief is weak, " help thou our unbelief, O 
Lord." And we pray thee, O gracious God, 
in the name of Jesus Christ, our Saviour and 
Redeemer, to compassionate our weakness, 
and as far as is consistent with thy will, re- 
move our doubts ; that so, like the disciple 
formerly, we may with full conviction on our 
minds exclaim, u My Lord and my God !" 



358 1811. 

And as we must walk by faith, and not by 
sight, we entreat thee so to strengthen our 
faith, that we may become " more than 
conquerors through him that loved us;"* 
and having put off this veil of flesh, be ad- 
mitted into those mansions, where we shall 
be favoured to see all things in the full vision 
of light. 

18th, 1st Mo.— Whilst in the ordering of 
Providence our allotment remains to be in 
this world, we can hardly, either by illness 
or any other cause, be so estranged from it 
as not to feel an interest in many of its con- 
cerns. If we have objects of affection, if we 
have loved, or if we have been beloved, we 
must feel an interest in whatever concerns 
such connexions ; and I believe it arises 
from a wrong view of religion, if we think it 
necessary to abstract ourselves wholly from 
solicitude respecting them. " Love not the 
world, neither the things that are in the 
world,"+ is an injunction that cannot be 
taken literally in its full extent, for we are 
commanded to love one another, to love all 
mankind ; but our love of any thing in this 
world must not interfere with our love of 
God, and our duty to him. When from 
* Rom. viii. 37. t T John, ii. Jo. 



1811. 359 

bodily disease or debility we conclude our- 
selves drawing towards that period when we 
must bid adieu to every thing here, it is na- 
tural to suppose that our minds will be oc- 
cupied with the thoughts of that state to 
which we are hastening, and be anxiously 
solicitous to prepare for it, as well as we are 
able, through the assistance of the best help ; 
and this help we shall no doubt be earnest to 
obtain. But the mind cannot always be em- 
ployed in religious exercises and meditations. 
Religion is an active principle, and various 
virtues are constantly flowing from it, as a 
stream from its source : " To do good and to 
communicate, forget not."* This injunction 
may chiefly apply to those who are in health 
and strength, but it is not wholly confined to 
such ; there is room for the exercise of these, 
as well as many other virtues, even within 
the limits of a sick chamber. The religious 
principle in a well-regulated mind will show 
itself not only in patience and resignation to 
the Divine will, but also in little attentions 
to the ease and comfort of those who attend 
upon us, that it may not be unnecessarily 
burdensome to them. It will also lead us to 
feel some interest in every thing that con- 
cerns those friends or relatives who are de- 
* Heb. xiii. 16. 



360 1811. 

sirous of promoting our ease and satisfaction, 
and excite the wish* on our part to communi- 
cate what happiness we can, even though it 
should be but in insignificant things. We 
must feel kindness and sympathy with them 
in their prospects, however soon we may ex- 
pect our own to terminate. If we be desirous 
more importantly " to do good, and to com- 
municate," it cannot be better effected than 
by letting the amiable virtues that flow from 
religion, shine forth in our conduct. Then 
precept will be enforced by example, and 
have a united influence over those whom we 
wish to benefit. These remarks are perhaps 
more applicable to a lingering illness, than 
to those more violent diseases, which either 
require to be only nursed in silence, or else, 
from the nature or painfulness of them, al- 
most necessarily engross the attention. But 
in all cases to avail ourselves of the oppor- 
tunities that offer, " to do good and to com- 
municate," whether it be in temporals or 
spirituals, will afford us satisfaction. 



2bth, 1st Mo.— "We walk by faith, and not 
by sight."* How consonant to our own 
feelings and experience is this assertion. We 
can scarcely look around us, without behold 

* II Cor. v. 7. 



: 



1811. 361 

ing the vice and misery that are in the world. 
Our eyes see, and our ears hear things that 
we cannot but deplore ; and we have repeated 
accounts of scenes that we not only deplore, 
but that, at times, strike us with terror and 
amazement. 

That Almighty Wisdom and Goodness 
united with Almighty Power in creating a 
world in which so much sin and misery exist, 
surely calls for the exercise of faith : yet 
when we contemplate the beauties of the 
natural world, observe how every thing in- 
animate is formed to delight the senses, and 
to answer its intended use ; and that man, too, 
respecting the body, exhibits the same won- 
derful skill and contrivance, it will lead to 
the conclusion, that the moral world, which 
is the more important part, and for which 
the natural seems designed, and to be sub- 
ordinate to it, should likewise be under the 
same regulating power; and that, however 
mysterious the present order of things may 
appear to our finite capacities, yet they are 
all working progressively towards their in- 
tended end. By faith in the revelation \ vouch- 
safed us, we are led to consider our existence 
here only as a state of probation, to prepare 
us for more durable happiness hereafter. 

it 



362 1811. 

This faith has worked wonders in all ages of 
the world, many instances of which are enu- 
merated by the Apostle Paul. And if we 
consider ourselves, as individuals, its efficacy 
has enabled us to encounter many difficulties, 
to struggle with many evil propensities of 
our corrupt nature, and to endeavour to 
overcome them. And though we feel so much 
of the old leaven still prevail, that we are 
almost ready to despair, and think our labour 
has been in vain, saying, like the disciples 
formerly, " We have toiled all the night, and 
have taken nothing,"* yet, through the pre- 
valence of faith, we again renew the toil ; 
we struggle and labour again, and with fresh 
hope, follow the word of command. The 
outward revelation of the promises of God, 
as well as the internal feelings of our own 
minds, may convince us that our labour will 
not be in vain; but that however long we 
may have to wait for the completion of our 
wishes, they will be most assuredly crowned 
with success in the end. Let us then en- 
courage this holy, living faith, which purifies 
the soul. It was to prove efficacious, and 
remove mountains, even though small as a 
grain of mustard-seed. And if we feel capable 

* Luke, v. 5. 



1811. 363 

of exerting only a little strength, to pray for 
its increase, we are assured by sacred writ 
that it will not be in vain. 

26th, 2d Mo.— [Death of at the age 

of twenty-one.^ — Her calmness and resigna- 
tion through her illness afforded much con- 
solation to her family, as she was perfectly 
sensible to the last, aware of her danger, 
and willing to be removed ; expressing her 
trust that it would ~be to future happiness. 
The Psalmist says, respecting the just, or 
rather to those who dwell in the secret place 
of the Most High, " Thou shalt not be afraid 
for the terror by night, nor for the arrow 
that flieth by day, nor for the pestilence that 
walketh in darkness."* But when we see 
one falling on the right hand, and another 
on the left, we can scarcely avoid having 
some fears excited for those who are near 
and dear to us, if not particularly for our- 
selves. Our ground of hope and confidence 
arises from the faith, that the good hand of 
Providence orders all things for the best ; 
and though this will not wholly prevent 
anxiety respecting the dispensations that may 
be allotted us, yet it is certainly the best 

* Psalm xci. 5, G. 



364 1811, 

means of keeping our minds tranquil, and re- 
signed to the disposal of that Being-, who 
knows better what is good and profitable for 
us, than we do ourselves. 

I have often thought an infectious disorder 
in a family a peculiar trial. It not only ex- 
cites fears, but often produces great hesita- 
tion how we ought to act. For though one 
would not wish to run hither and thither in 
consternation, as if God could not preserve 
us any where, and in anyplace that he thought 
fit, yet neither should we carelessly run into 
danger. We have faculties given us to j udge 
and to act for ourselves, and seem under the 
necessity of exerting those faculties, either in 
doing or forbearing. 

14£/j, kth Mo. — When we contemplate the 
infinitude of thy power, O Lord, we are 
humbled with the consideration that we are 
but as atoms in thy sight. Yet, as thou hast 
revealed to us by the lip of truth, that not 
even a sparrow falleth to the ground with- 
out thee, and that we are of more value than 
many sparrows, it encourages us to pray for 
the continuance of thy providential care ; 
and that however abased, however depressed 
we may be, thou wilt still afford us succour; 



1811. 365 

and grant that, through a Redeemer's love, 
we may be presented at last before the throne 
of thy grace, and accepted of thee ; which 
is the ardent desire and utmost wish of our 
souls. 

8th, 5th Mo. — Whether human nature be 
capable of pure disinterested love, is a ques- 
tion sometimes agitated. I believe it pos- 
sible ; but in the present state of things, it 
would be difficult to define where it existed. 
With regard to the Supreme Being, who is 
most worthy of our love, we must acknow- 
ledge that we love him, because he first loved 
us. The love of God and the happiness 
annexed to it, are too strongly associated in 
our ideas, for us to be able to separate them. 
" Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all 
thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with 
all thy might,"* has been inculcated with its 
consequent reward. " Eye hath not seen, 
nor ear heard, neither have entered into the 
heart of man, the things which God hath pre- 
pared for them that love him."t This self- 
interested love, God has declared he will 
accept ; and we need not attempt to make 
ourselves wiser than our Maker, or straiten 
the terms on which he, r in his condescending 

* Deut. vi. 5. +1 Cor. ii. 9. 



366 • 1811. 

goodness, has agreed to receive us into the 
arras of his everlasting love. But notwith- 
standing our weakness and imperfections, I 
think there is a natural principle within us, 
that leads to admire whatever is worthy of 
admiration, and to love that which is lovely, 
independently of any benefit resulting from it 
to ourselves. If we saw a fellow-being ex- 
alted above others, by his understanding, 
talents, and virtues, we could not withhold 
our admiration. If, added to the above,- he 
were mild, humble and benevolent, full of 
love and good works, we should certainly 
feel a degree cf love for such a character, 
though we could only behold him at a dis- 
tance, without coming within the sphere of 
his activity. I think it would be a sponta- 
neous feeling of the mind, without any effort. 
If we did not love that which is so lovely, it 
must proceed from something wrong in our- 
selves. 



7th, 7th 31o.—" Who is he that will harm 
you, if ye be followers of that which is 
good ?"* To be followers of that which is 
good, comprehends a great deal. It will 
lead to complying with the exhortations we 
received this morning. " Stand in awe, and 
* I Pet. iii. 13. 






1811. 367 

sin not ; commune with your own heart upon 
your bed, and be still."* To commune with 
our own hearts, and be still, is the way to 
receive instruction. And as light opens 
upon our minds, we shall have a spiritual 
discernment of those truths which are written 
in the Gospel. We shall feel that not only 
what is to be known of God is manifested 
within, but that strength and ability to 
walk in obedience to the knowledge we re- 
ceive, must be imparted also from the same 
source. As our minds are open to receive 
the first dawnings of light, and to comply 
with that which it makes manifest, we shall 
find it gradually increase, and our path will 
become like that of the just man, which " is 
as the shining light, that shineth more and 
more unto the perfect day."t 

15th, First day morning. — " Men and bre- 
thren, what shall we do to be saved ?" Per- 
haps an outline for our conduct might easily 
be drawn from the precepts of the Gospel. 
But in an affair of so much importance, I 
often feel anxiously solicitous tliat my faith 
may rest upon the sure foundation : that I 
may believe what I ought to believe, and re- 
ject what I ought to reject, as well as prac- 
* Psalm iv. 4. t Prov. iv. 18. 



368 181 L 

tise what I ought to practise. I think I feel 
no seeds of rebellion in my heart, no dispo- 
sition to reject the counsel of God in any 
respect, so far as I can clearly discern it. 
Yet, in a situation so awful as that in which 
we are placed, wherein Eternity seems to 
hang on the actions of time, I cannot say that 
my mind is always unclouded by doubts, or 
that the prospect appears clear and bright 
before me. Sometimes my spirits are de- 
pressed with fears ; though, at other times, 
animated with hope; and I trust that a de- 
gree of living faith in the goodness and mercy 
of God, will preserve me through the heights 
and depths of this uncertain world. The 
Apostles said unto the Lord, " Increase our 
faith."* If they, while present with him, 
found this application necessary, no wonder 
that we also should find it needful to put up 
the same prayer, and solicit that any remains 
of unbelief may be removed, lest the bless- 
ings we are desirous of should not be ob- 
tained. " Lord, I believe ; help thou mine 
unbelief."t I believe sufficiently to lead 
me to apply to thee, as the only true helper ; 
strengthen my faith where thou seest it weak, 
and enable me to rely with full confidence in 
thy wisdom, power, and goodness ; and that 
* Luke, xvii. 5. + Mark, ix. 24. 



I 



1811. 369 

whosoever cometh to thee, thou wilt in no 
wise cast off. 

11th Mo. — O Lord God, we are humbled 
and abased before thee, when we look back 
upon our numberless transgressions, and con- 
sider the proneness we feel in ourselves to 
evil. We thank thee, O Lord, for thy inesti- 
mable gift of Jesus Christ, who has opened 
for us a door of hope, that through Him, we 
may obtain the remission of our sins ; that, 
by our sincere repentance, our transgressions 
will be forgiven, and our iniquities remem- 
bered no more. Thus, when we lament our 
weaknesses and infirmities, we need not sink 
into despair ; seeing that, according to the 
doctrine of the Apostle, " we have an ad- 
vocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the 
righteous."* 

Strengthen us, we beseech thee, O Lord, 
more and more fully to obey his command- 
ments, and follow his precepts, that being 
purified through faith, we may be presented 
before the throne of thy Grace, and join 
in saying, " Blessing and honour, and glory 
and power be unto Him that sitteth upon the 
throne, and unto the Lamb, for ever and 
ever." + 

•IJohn, U. 1. tRev. v. 13. 

R5 



S70 1811. 

28th, 11th Mo.— u If any man will come 
after me, let him deny himself, and take up 
his cross daily, and follow me."* This was 
the exhortation of our Saviour, who was, 
no doubt, well acquainted with the nature 
of man, and what course it was necessary for 
him to pursue, to prepare for a state of hap- 
piness hereafter. He never encourages his 
followers to imagine that a state of temporal 
ease and indulgence will fall to their por- 
tion ; he rather points out to them the ne- 
cessity of a constant warfare, a struggle with 
all their evil tempers and inclinations, as 
well as tribulations from without, which all 
who are not of the spirit of the world must 
inevitably encounter. The seeds of our cor- 
rupt nature begin to appear in our infantile 
state. Impatience and anger are perhaps 
the first fruits that show themselves : as our 
intellects open, the passion of revenge begins 
to operate ; and at a very early period, a 
child will feel the pain of a hurt suspended, 
by a blow being returned upon even an in- 
animate thing that had occasioned it. 

We may remember that the same passions 

that produce evil, lead likewise to good, 

under proper control ; and whether such an 

admixture in our constitution is not neces- 

* Luke, ix. 23. 



1811. 371 

sary to produce those energies which are 
requisite to form a good character, is not for 
us to determine. As the reasoning faculties 
gain strength, we see the necessity of keep- 
ing the passions under subjection : reason 
points out what ought to be done, but falls 
short in putting it in execution ; we must, 
as dependant creatures, apply for help to 
perform that good which reason has pointed 
out. 

How we came to be placed in a state 
where so many trials are to be encountered, 
the flesh warring " against the spirit, and 
the spirit against the flesh,"* will prove but 
a fruitless inquiry : we feel that it is so, and 
if we are wise, shall act accordingly; trusting 
in the goodness of God, and resting in the 
persuasion that this probationary state is the 
best adapted to prepare us for that future 
happiness for which He has created us. 

I believe, whoever examine their own 
feelings and propensities, must be sensible 
that there is something in their nature which 
leads to evil, and which they want assistance 
to overcome ; and perhaps it is not less pro- 
fitable for them to look up to their Heavenly 
Father for help, than it is for a helpless 
child to look up for assistance to its earthly 

* Gal. V. 17. 



o!2 1811; 

parent. Were we placed in a state of im- 
becility, standing in need of help, and un- 
able to attain it, our lot might appear hard ; 
but we are as sure of finding the necessary 
assistance when we seek it, as a child is of 
finding assistance from a good parent ; a 
parent who will seek its welfare, and guide 
it in the road to happiness. To accomplish 
this, the earthly parent often finds discipline 
needful ; and as the same corrupt nature re- 
mains with us in riper years, it may lead us 
rationally to conclude that our blessed Re- 
deemer saw the continuance of discipline 
necessary, and that to deny ourselves and 
take up the cross, was the only mode for our 
purification. We shall find exercise enough 
for this denial of self, in the daily inter- 
course of common life, without any of those 
voluntary humiliations and abstinences which 
sometimes engender pride. If we watch over 
ourselves, and with vigilance endeavour to 
keep down every wrong temper and impro- 
per disposition, I believe that we shall not 
only feel that we have a cross to bear, and 
many self-denials to endure, but shall also 
be engaged to pray for help, and that we 
may be strengthened to overcome. And 
though, by degrees, evil may be subdued, 
yet I doubt if we shall ever attain to such a 



1S11. 373 

state, as to say that a Christian life is not a 
state of warfare. After all our endeavours, 
we shall be still pressing' " toward the mark, 
for the prize of the high calling of God, in 
Christ Jesus."* 

12th Mo.— a God so loved the world, that 
he gave his only begotten Son, that who- 
soever believeth in him should not perish, 
but have everlasting life." + 

This is not a dead faith, a mere assent of 
the mind. " With the heart man believeth 
unto righteousness." £ Righteousness must 
flow from faith, as a stream from its foun- 
tain ; faith works by love, to the purify- 
ing of the soul. If we really believe that 
Christ came into the world to redeem us 
from evil, and to instruct us in the way of 
salvation, how can we do otherwise than 
endeavour to follow his example, and walk 
according to his precepts ? If we think we 
have faith, Avithout any effects flowing from 
it, or any fruit being produced by it, we 
shall certainly deceive ourselves, and in the 
awful day of account, be in danger of re- 
ceiving the sentence, " Depart from me, ye 
that work iniquity," " I never knew you."§ 

• Phil. iii. 14. + John, iii. 16. % Rom. x. 10. 

§ Matt. vii. 23. 



374 1812. 



1812. 

15th, 1st 3Io. — O Lord God, suffer us not, 
we beseech thee, to be deluded by any who 
may say, " Lo, here is Christ,"* or, lo, he 
is there ; but preserve our minds steady in 
that faith which leads to salvation. And 
though one may say, this is the way, and an- 
other, that, keep us, we humbly pray thee, 
from deviating either to the right hand, or to 
the left. Neither suffer us to be led away 
by an impatient desire to find Him whom 
our soul loveth, but quietly wait thy ap- 
pointed time for the manifestation cf Christ 
in our hearts. That being led and guided 
by his spirit, we may be built up in the most 
holy faith, and in the confidence that thou 
wilt be found of all those who seek thee 
with sincerity. Thus, O Lord, may we be 
comforted with a gleam of hope, and not be 
utterly cast down by the discouragements 
that surround us ; but being strengthened by 
Him, who declared that he would be with 
his disciples to the end of the world, we may 
stand firm against every assault, and in due 
time experience thy salvation. 

* Matt. xxiv. 23, 



1812. 375 

18th, 1st Mo. — Perhaps a query may arise, 
how is Christ manifested in our hearts ? By 
subduing- all the evil propensities of our cor- 
rupt nature, and substituting- in their room 
love to God, and love to man. By giving 
us "joy and peace in believing."* By our 
considering Him as our all in all, and look- 
ing to him alone for strength, hope, and con- 
solation. We possess no inherent power of 
our own. " We live, move, and have our 
being" in Him who created us. God so 
compassionated our depravity, that he gave 
us his beloved Son, not only to be a ransom 
for our transgressions, but to redeem us from 
all evil. As we feel his baptizing power 
operating in our souls, struggling for good, 
and assisting us to overcome evil, so far is he 
manifested to us. And as we give way to 
this influence, and submit to his governing 
principle within us, so far is his kingdom 
erected in our hearts. 

Our best interests are concerned in coming 
under the sway of his righteous sceptre. He 
manifests himself in mercy, and he manifests 
himself in judgment : and the more we at- 
tend to his manifestations, the more clear 
will they appear; keeping down all wrong 
things and wrong dispositions, and bringing 
* Rom. xv. 13. 



376 1812. 

us under the obedience of faith. Thus will 
He become our " wisdom, and righteousness, 
and sanctification, and redemption,"* and 
finally give us an inheritance with the saints 
in light. 

22d, 1st Mo. — Oh for an increase of living 
faith ! This is often the prayer of my soul, 
when tossed on the sea of this tempestuous 
world. Long have public affairs borne an 
awful appearance ; and the attempts at rob- 
bery and shocking murders, that have been 
committed within these few weeks, seem to 
fill the mind with terror and dismay. 

Why so many dreadful evils should be per- 
mitted under the government of a merciful 
and good Providence, is a query that will 
sometimes obtrude itself. But how can that 
which is finite, comprehend the counsels of 
Him who is infinite ? Let us remember, 
that we must " walk by faith, not by sight. "t 
The language of the Most High, through his 
prophet, is, " My thoughts are not your 
thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." 
a For, as the heavens are higher than the 
earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, 
and my thoughts than your thoughts. ":f 

As obedient little children confide in their 
* I Cor. i. 30. + II Cor. v. 7. % Isaiah, lv. 8, 9. 



1812. 377 

earthly parents, and though they cannot 
always understand their movements, or com- 
prehend why they do things, yet always look 
to them for guidance and assistance, and 
cling to them for protection, so should we, 
who have often felt and acknowledged the 
goodness of our heavenly Father, rely on 
his protecting power, and trust that all things 
are working together for good. 

When our faith seems almost ready to fail, 
we may derive some consolation from the 
instruction of the Apostle to the Romans, 
" Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, 
but not to doubtful disputations."* This 
shows great tenderness for those who are 
weak in the faith, and encourages them in 
the belief that though it may be but small, 
even as a grain of mustard-seed, they will 
not be rejected ; though they should be kept 
from those things that may stagger it, and 
prevent its increase. Nothing but confidence 
in God can calm the mind under the various 
shocks it may meet with : surely then, it will 
be wise to cultivate in ourselves this trust 
and reliance, as our only source of consola- 
tion through the vicissitudes of time ; not 
dwelling always on the gloomy side of things, 
but letting the bright side sometimes have 

* Rom. xiv. 1. 



378 1812. 

its turn. Thus, through the prevalence of 
faith and hope, we shall be enabled to press 
forward to the end ; when we shall no longer 
see things as " through a glass, darkly,"* 
but shall have them opened to us in the clear 
vision of light. 

23d. — I think I am never happier than 
when I can feelingly trust in the goodness and 
protection of that Being who created us. In 
this state of mind a holy tranquillity seems 
to cover the soul ; all the wayward passions 
subside, and even the terrors of darkness are 
vanquished. As our affections are raised to 
heavenly objects, those that are earthly re- 
cede from our view. Things temporal would 
have no preponderance in the scale with 
things that are eternal ; but that the temporal 
things are seen and present with us, whilst 
those that are eternal can only be contem- 
plated by the eye of faith. 

If we consider this life only as a state of 
probation, a state designed to prepare us for 
a better existence, all the goods and the evils 
of it will sink in our estimation : and reason 
as well as revelation confirms us in the truth 
of this opinion. In the various views we 
take of the world, we are animated with thi^ 

*I Cor. xiii. 12. 



1812. 379 

persuasion : our faith and our hope are re- 
vived, and notwithstanding all the discou- 
ragements that surround us, we press forward 
with alacrity to the end of our race : know- 
ing (as far as finite creatures can know any 
thing) that our labour will not be in vain, 
but that we shall receive the consummation 
of our wishes, an eternal mansion in the 
heavens which will never fade away. 

1st, &th Mo. — I suppose there are many 
unbelievers respecting the doctrine of spi- 
ritual communion. As it can neither be de- 
scribed nor defined, nor become an object of 
any of our outward faculties, it seems impos- 
sible to say any thing to enforce the truth of 
the doctrine, but what the Scriptures assert 
respecting it. Yet I think we may appeal 
to serious, devout minds, whether they have 
not sometimes felt themselves so raised above 
every thing earthly, and their spirits so 
elevated to Heaven, that they have been 
ready to exclaim, in the language of Jacob, 
u Surely, the Lord is in this place :"* or 
when they have been waiting in awful silence, 
have they not sometimes been so enwrapped 
in holy, devout feelings, that, like the disci- 
ples on the mount of Transfiguration, they 

* Gen. xxviii. 16. 



380 1812. 

have said, " Lord, it is good for us to be 
here,"* let us make here a tabernacle. We 
have found that which our souls have longed 
for ; and can say, through a degree of living 
faith, " In thy presence is fulness of joy ; at 
thy right hand there are pleasures for ever 
more."t 



lst,4:th Mo. — " Without controversy, great 
is the mystery of godliness ; God was mani- 
fest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of 
angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed 
on in the world, received up into glory.":]: 
This is a short summary drawn up by the 
Apostle Paul, for the use of Timothy, and 
no doubt contains what he means by the 
" mystery of godliness." 

If, in that early period, the scheme of our 
redemption and salvation by Jesus Christ 
was a mystery, it seems not likely that it 
should now be more clear. We are told that 
the thing was, but have no clue to guide us 
to find out how, or in what manner it was 
effected. It is a mystery entirely above our 
finite capacities to comprehend. We are in- 
formed that, through repentance and faith in 
Christ, we shall receive the remission of our 
sins, and obtain salvation : but how " God 
* Matt. xvii. 4. tPsalmxvi.il. i I Tim. Hi. 16. 



1812. 381 

was in Christ, reconciling the world unto 
himself,"* is not for us to fathom. The 
whole tenour of Scripture informs us, that 
those who fear God and work righteousness 
will be accepted of him; and if, with sincerity 
of heart, we avail ourselves of the offers of 
salvation, which God in his mercy has vouch- 
safed, I trust we may leave those mysterious 
parts which have troubled and perplexed 
some of the wisest in all ages. We are com- 
manded to come unto Christ, like little chil- 
dren : that is, in simplicity, willing to be 
taught and instructed in the right way. 
" Even the wayfaring men, though fools, 
shall not err therein. "t So plain, according 
to the prophet, is the way of salvation. 

Certainly, then, if we feel this singleness 
of heart, such a portion of light will be 
afforded us as is necessary to guide us right, 
without our perplexing ourselves with the 
endeavour to find out things beyond our 
comprehension. Let us keep as near as we 
can to those ideas that Scripture authorizes; 
and though the same things may be viewed 
in different lights by different people, and 
different inferences drawn from them, this 
should not break in upon true harmony. I 
should regret that it ever became necessary 

* II Cor. v. 19. t Isaiah, xxxv. 8. 



1812. 

in our Society to sign articles of faith, or 
even that we should be obliged to declare 
opinions respecting any of those mysterious 
subjects, which the human mind can neither 
develop nor understand, though it may con- 
template them with thankfulness and admi- 
ration. I entertain no doubt, that articles 
of faith are much more generally subscribed 
as an initiation into one or another particu- 
lar society, than from any serious considera- 
tion of what the articles themselves contain ; 
and when they have been closely investi- 
gated, they have often proved that bone of 
bitter contention, which has split the Chris- 
tian world into such multitudes of sects. 

19th, &th Mo.—« My righteousness I hold 
fast, and will not let it go ; my heart shall 
not reproach me so long as I live."* Excel- 
lent would this resolution be, were we in 
possession of the inherent power to fulfil it. 
But weak and dependant, both in body and 
in mind, poor, frail mortals learn sometimes, 
by sad experience, that " it is not in man 
that walketh to direct his steps"+ aright; 
but that " the steps of a good man are or- 
dered by the Lord." J All boasting is here 
excluded ; we cannot even say that we will 

* Job, xxvii. 6. t Jere;n. x. 23. % Psalm xxxvii. 23. 



1812. 383 

do well, any farther than as we are assisted 
by that Power, through whom we are enabled 
to perform every good word and work. Here 
then, is an exercise of deep humility, and an 
inducement to look unto Him who came to 
" redeem us from all iniquity."* Peter, no 
doubt, thought he could have confidence in 
himself, that he should never deny his Lord 
and Master ; but the event proved other- 
wise ; and I believe, some of us in this day 
have been most apt to fail, when we have 
trusted to our own strength, and our own 
powers, instead of looking to Him for help, 
who can alone preserve us, and order our 
steps aright. " Wherefore let him that 
thinketh hestandeth, take heed lest he fall."t 
We may trust that this state of humble 
dependance is most profitable for us : not to 
lead us to despondency, or to slacken our 
own exertions; for, if with sincerity of heart 
we endeavour to do our best, and pray for 
the Divine blessing and assistance, we may 
rest assured that it will not be withheld ; 
since nothing will be required of us, but what 
our Maker and Redeemer will strengthen us 
to perform. 

26th, 5th Mo. — It often seems to me cause 

* Titus, ii. 14. + I Cor. x. 12. 



384 1812. 

of thankfulness, when I feel my mind not only 
covered with universal love, and disposed to 
wish well to all mankind ; but when, confined 
within a narrower circle, T feel the disposi- 
tion to give up some of my own conveni- 
ences and satisfactions, for the gratification 
or accommodation of others. This disposi- 
tion, I am persuaded, does not contribute 
more to the happiness of other people, than 
it does to our own; for I believe it is so con- 
stituted in the nature of things, that we never 
confer happiness, without feeling some re- 
turn of it in our own bosoms. The disposi- 
tion to fret and fume at every little disap- 
pointment, or when we cannot command 
things just as we wish, is an incessant cause 
of disquietude. In our intercourse through 
life, we shall meet with many things in oppo- 
sition to our own sentiments and inclina- 
tions ; many little rubs and trials, which, to 
an irritable mind, are sources of much dis- 
quiet. We often see the impropriety of 
giving way to our irritable feelings on these 
occasions, and perhaps in some measure en- 
deavour to struggle against them. But 
though reason can point out these failings, 
its force is not sufficient to remove them. 
It is but reason and passion striving toge- 
ther; self struggling with self. 






1812. 385 

How then, must these evil propensities of 
our nature be overcome ? By considering 
that the same Power that commanded the 
boisterous waves to be still, must be like- 
wise applied to on the lesser occasions. If 
we see any very heavy storm approaching-, or 
look forward to any great conflict wherein we 
doubt our own strength, our minds are imme- 
diately turned to Him who has all power, 
with prayers for his assistance. Let us keep 
in view, that in all the lesser exercises of 
our faith and patience, that same Power is 
the only one that can enable us to get the 
better of our corrupt nature. Contesting in 
our own power and with our own strength, 
without a reliance upon Him for help, will 
avail us little. Even the small curl that 
ruffles upon the ocean, will no more subside 
at our command, than the boisterous waves. 
We must feel our own insufficiency and de- 
pendance, before we shall be induced to look 
unto him for strength ; and when we have 
been thus humbled, and in the consciousness 
of our own weakness, we seek for help from 
Him who is alone able to help us, how often 
have we found every evil disposition to sub- 
side at his command, and a holy tranquillity 
cover our souls. I believe it is by constantly 
turning our attention to Him who came to 



386 1812. 

redeem us from all evil, that we can attain 
quietness of mind and rectitude of conduct. 
Let us consider him as ever present with us: 
by his secret reproofs, checking us from evil, 
even in the bud, and strengthening us in the 
performance of every thing that is good, 
whether it be in overcoming the secret cor- 
ruptions of our own minds, or in our more 
obvious conduct. Thus, under his guidance 
shall we go on from strength to strength, and 
be partakers of that peace which th,e world 
can neither give nor take away. 

28th, 5th Mo.— We had some remarks, this 
Yearly Meeting, on the danger of associating 
much with those not of our Society, not from 
any idea of attributing particular holiness 
to ourselves, but as it leads to an assimila- 
tion with the customs, manners, and spirit of 
the world, which the principles of our So- 
ciety testify against. 

Observation must convince us, that it rarely 
happens that those of our Society who mingle 
much with others, retain that simplicity of 
dress and behaviour, which is considered as 
its characteristic. The temptations to de- 
viate from it are certainly greatly increased 
by intercourse and visiting with those of 
other persuasions ; and though many topics 



1812. 387 

of discourse may be familiar to both parties, 
yet the latitude allowed by others in what the 
world deems innocent amusements, will be 
very apt to excite the desire in young people, 
of being partakers with them in such things, 
and of throwing aside those peculiarities 
which seem as a bar in the way to indul- 
gence, though considered by many amongst 
us, as a hedge of preservation from the temp- 
tations that are in the world, as well as 
worthy to be practised for their own intrinsic 
propriety. These sentiments do not preclude 
us from uniting with those of other societies 
for any benevolent purposes, or from that 
friendly intercourse by which we can be 
useful to any, but are only intended to 
guard us from falling into temptation, and to 
strengthen us to keep a watch over ourselves, 
that we may follow the advice of the Apostle, 
not to be" conformed to this world."* 

O Lord God, grant, I beseech thee, that 
as I draw nearer to the verge of another life, 
I may increasingly experience such a change 
of heart, as may prepare me for thy heavenly 
kingdom. And as thou hast declared in 
Scripture, that through faith in Christ we 
shall receive the remission of our sins, and 
become heirs of salvation, I earnestly pray 

* Rora. xii. 2. 



1812, 

that his power may so operate in my heart, 
that I may not only be strengthened to over- 
come sin in the outward act, but that every 
evil feeling- that arises from our corrupt na- 
ture may also be subdued. Thus, as years 
increase, may I press forward from grace to 
grace ; and whether through the awful con- 
flict I may be animated by the radiant beams 
of hope, or ready to sink under the misgivings 
of doubt, still, O Lord, do thou uphold me 
with thy power, and receive my spirit into 
the arms of thy everlasting love. 

(On the 27 th of the 6th Mo. her husband 
suddenly departed this life.) ***** 
I had often looked forward to such a sudden 
event, from his constitutional complaints; and 
from our approaches to advanced age, had 
frequently queried in my own mind which of 
us would be first called from this scene of ac- 
tion. The lot is now decided, and I have 
only to look forward to the same change, 
which, according to the common course of 
things, I cannot expect to be long before it 
arrives. But observation on my own feelings, 
as well as on those of others, convinces me 
that though we view things in this manner, 
either for ourselves or our near connexions, 
still there is some space left between. We 



1812. 389 

see the stroke near, but not just at hand ; as 
time passes on, this little space remains to be 
filled ; some short interval continues in idea, 
till after all we are taken by surprise. I am 
persuaded that as age increases, our feelings, 
like our passions, are less keen than at an 
earlier period. Things that cannot be of 
long concernment to us, we view with less 
solicitude than in younger years, when our 
plans for the enjoyments of this life are all 
overthrown, and the fabric which our ideas 
had erected is entirely demolished. Not- 
withstanding this sentiment, I do not know 
that I am less anxious than formerly for the 
welfare and happiness of those that are likely 
to remain behind me. 

Under the present trial, I feel much cause 
for thankfulness on many accounts — that the 
event happened at home, amongst our friends, 
ready to assist us — that we very speedily ob- 
tained medical advice, who assured us that 
nothing could have been done, if they had 
been here at the instant; that it appeared to 
be without the least struggle, or any violent 
pain, and that we had reason to believe a 
rather sudden removal was according to the 
wish of the deceased. These are sources of 
satisfaction, and claim our thankfulness ; but 
some perturbation of mind must take place ; 



590 1812. 

as this gradually subsides, we may trust it 
will be succeeded by those tranquil religious 
feelings which may be of lasting benefit to 
our souls. 

oth, 7th Mo.— On sixth day, the third of 
the seventh month, attended the interment 
at Winchmore-hill. Had only a silent, so- 
lemn pause at the ground. * * * * 
To feel the mind deeply humbled, whether 
it be under afflictions, or from any other 
cause, is to me a subject of thankfulness, be- 
cause I feel it to be always a profitable state. 

12th, 1th Mo. — Most gracious God, suffer, 
I beseech thee, the sacred influence of thy 
Holy Spirit to guide and conduct me through 
the remainder of my days ; through the rem- 
nant of time that may be allotted me in this 
world : that maintaining a state of watchful- 
ness, I may be ready to receive the summons 
to depart, whenever it shall please thee to 
send it. I beseech thee, enlighten my eyes 
and strengthen my judgment, that I may be 
able to decide with clearness in any thing 
wherein I am called upon to act; and not 
only enable me to decide with clearness what 
I ought to do, but so rectify my will, that 
it may be brought into conformity with thy 



1812. 391 

most holy will in all things — that acknow- 
ledging thy wisdom and goodness, I may 
always confide in thee, and in truth and sin- 
cerity say, " Thy will be done on earth as it 
is in Heaven." 

9th, 8th Mo. — The weather very wintry ; 
a great deal of wet, and so cold, that we 
have several times had a fire ; the sun rarely 
seen. Every thing wears a gloomy aspect — 
a threatened war with America— no pros- 
pect of peace any where else — provisions 
very dear, and the miseries of the poor very 
great, notwithstanding much attention and 
liberal contributions. What will be the 
issue, is not in man's foresight to form a 
judgment; but we must endeavour to rely 
on Him who rules the world in his wisdom,. 
and who can bring good out of those things, 
which are, to our dim eyesight and confined 
views, apparently evil. 

9th, 10th Mo. — Many seasons of anxiety 
fall to our lot in our passage through life: 
that they may be sanctified to our benefit, is 
the earnest prayer of my soul ; that our 
trust in God, and confidence in his goodness 
may never fail, remembering, that according 
to the words of the Apostle, " Whom the 



392 1812. 

Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth 
every son whom he receiveth."* Many are 
the heights and depths through which we 
have been mercifully preserved ; and we may 
trust while we rely on him, that we shall never 
be deserted by his all-sustaining Power. 

15th, 10th Mo. — When I consider the very 
trying situations that many are placed in, 
even within the compass of my small know- 
ledge and acquaintance, I feel my spirits 
sometimes so depressed, that I have been 
ready to conclude, that the best thing which 
could happen to any of us would be, to get 
well out of the world. But how would this 
accord with the idea of our present existence 
being only a probationary state, to prepare 
us for a more happy one hereafter ? We 
must endeavour, through faith, to let pa- 
tience have its perfect work. We do not 
always view the world, and the things of the 
world in this gloomy light : though anxieties 
sometimes press heavy upon us, there are 
other seasons wherein we experience a calm 
and tranquil enjoyment, and feel our souls 
raised in grateful thankfulness to the Be- 
stower of every blessing. And even in the 
rugged part of the road through which we 

* Heb. xii. 6. 



1812. 393 

have to travel, some reviving prospects opeii 
to cheer us in our way, to strengthen our 
hope, and stimulate our courage, that we 
may not utterly faint. 

20th. — When we consider how prone we 
are to evil, and the necessity of discipline to 
correct our errors and purify our souls, we 
are sometimes strengthened to pray that the 
Lord's hand would not spare, nor his eye 
pity, until he had made us what he would 
have us to be. Yet the pressure of affliction 
is sometimes so heavy, and the prospect so 
full of dismay, that we can scarcely forbear 
saying, " if it be possible, let this cup pass 
from me ;" perhaps without being able in 
that meekness and resignation which be- 
comes such dependant creatures, to add, with 
truth and sincerity of heart, " not my will, 
but thine be done." 

We dare not pray for any thing contrary 
to the Divine will, but perhaps we can 
scarcely forbear aspirations that that Will 
may be to remove the stroke away from us. 
We know that God wills our sanctification 
and redemption, and that he best knows what 
is good for us, and what means are most con- 
ducive to that end. 

s5 



394 1812. 

We desire, O Lord, to bow in awful sub- 
mission before thee ; that every will may be 
subdued that counteracts thy most Holy will, 
and that we may receive with patient re- 
signation, whatever thou mayst appoint. 
Have mercy upon us, O Lord, we beseech 
thee, in temporals as well as spirituals. 
Thou alone canst restore peace to the 
wounded soul, and health to the diseased 
body. Strengthen our faith and confidence 
that in due time all things will work toge- 
ther for good ; and so humble our souls be- 
fore thee, that we may receive with thank- 
fulness all thy dispensations. Support us, 
we beseech thee, through all the various 
struggles we may have to encounter; and so 
enlighten our minds and guide our conduct, 
that whatever may be the result respecting 
temporal things, we may not have to look 
back with unavailing regret. 

1st, Uth Mo.— Evils that we dread are 
frequently borne better when they fall to our 
lot, than we could have any expectation of; 
and we should endeavour, as far as we can, in 
all cases, not to have our minds fixed on tem- 
poral things, but to look forwards to those 
which are eternal ; having faith to believe 



1812. 395 

with the Apostle Paul, that " Our light 
affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh 
for us a far more exceeding and eternal 
weight of glory, while we look not at the 
things which are seen, but at the things 
which are not seen ; for the things which are 
seen are temporal, but the things which are 
not seen are eternal. "* 

28th, llth Mo. — In seasons of the greatest 
depression, I think I have never been wholly 
deserted by hope : not that fallacious hope 
which can only be satisfied with having the 
completion of our wishes in all circum- 
stances ; but that hope which arises from 
faith in the goodness and mercy of God : 
that he will not afflict us beyond what is for 
our benefit, and that if he in his wisdom 
should not see meet to remove the evil under 
which we suffer, he will either mitigate it, 
or increase our strength, so that we shall be 
enabled to bear it ; and though " man is born 
unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward, " + 
yet that " affliction cometh not forth of the 
dust, neither doth trouble spring out of the 
ground :"J but that all are under the provi- 
dential care of Him who created and up- 
holds all things by his power. This hope 

* II Cor. iv. 17, 18. t Job, v. 7. + Job, v. 6. 



396 1812. 

often cheers and invigorates the mind, even 
though the prospects before us may have but 
a sombre appearance. 

We never feel the benefit of being amongst 
kind relatives and friends more than in times 
of sickness and anxiety; and I often feel 
comforted with the thought, that my chil- 
dren will be left amongst those who will 
care for them, when my head is laid in the 
silent grave. 

4^, 12th Mo — A patient submission to the 
Divine will, under every dispensation, is a 
more acceptable sacrifice than any offering 
we can make. If we are stopped short in 
our career of pleasure, or when pursuing any 
temporal gratifications, a little serious reflec- 
tion sometimes leads to the acknowledgment 
that it may be beneficial to our best interests. 
But if we are stopped in our progress in those 
undertakings which are laudable, and which 
are not only useful employments for our- 
selves, but productive of benefit to others, a 
double portion of faith seems requisite to 
reconcile us to the disappointment. Yet 
such is the mysterious government of Provi- 
dence, that we often see the most useful 
members of society cut off, by what we are 
apt to term a premature death ; or disabled, 



1813. 397 

by ill health, from the exertion of those 
energies which promised to be beneficial to 
mankind. 

There are passive duties as well as active; 
and we must consider that it is not our own 
righteousness that we are to go about to 
establish, but the righteousness that is by 
faith. If we are pursuing this principle in 
our conduct, however zealous we may be in 
our endeavours to accomplish those things 
that seem right and proper, or that we may 
judge will be useful to others, we shall at 
the same time endeavour patiently to submit 
to a prevention, arising from whatever cause; 
trusting that the watchful eye of Providence 
remains over all ; and whether we are called 
to the performance of active duties, or laid 
aside for a time, as servants of our supreme 
Master, a dutiful submission and acquiescence 
with his will, is requisite on our part. 



1813. 

3d, 1st Mo. — If we look up towards the 
heavens, or down towards the earth, we can- 
not do otherwise than behold the display of 
infinite Power. But to be the subjects of 
infinite Power, if not accompanied with in- 
finite Goodness, would be a source of terror 



398 1813. 

rather than consolation. But respecting the 
human race, where shall we look in merely 
externals, for the traces of infinite Good- 
ness ? Infinite Power and infinite Wisdom 
are conspicuous in all the works of creation: 
every thing that exists is fitted for the end 
designed ; and the animal creation seem to 
rejoice in the goodness of their Creator, 
having their wants and their gratifications 
proportioned to each other. Is man, then, 
the only discontented being who goes mourn- 
ing on his way ? Though he meets with 
many things to regale his senses, and afford 
transient enjoyment, yet he falls short of that 
present happiness, which is the portion of 
inferior creatures. Is not this a strong proof 
that this state of existence constitutes but a 
part of his being ? Man has the gift of re- 
flection ; and to reflect, is to contemplate the 
trials and afflictions of man in this present 
state, and to look forward to the future with 
solicitude and anxiety. Man, though placed 
in Paradise, became corrupted : he was 
tempted, fell in with the temptation, ate of 
the forbidden fruit, and was expelled from 
that state of happiness which he was other- 
wise to have enjoyed. If we would con- 
template infinite Goodness, we must with- 
draw our mind's eye from beholding* the 



1813. 399 

miseries of war, where such havoc is made 
amongst thousands and tens of thousands of 
our fellow-creatures, who are commanded to 
slaughter each other, by a being like them- 
selves, only elevated to power. We must 
likewise withdraw our minds from dwelling 
too much on the wretchedness of poverty, 
where a family of half-famished children are 
looking in vain to their parents for a supply 
of their wants, even to those parents who 
would be glad to work for them, could they 
find any employment : notwithstanding these 
scenes call forth our sensibility, it seems al- 
most impossible, in the present situation of 
things, to afford any adequate relief. I be- 
lieve infinite Goodness can only be compre- 
hended by the internal feelings of the mind, 
co-operating with that revelation dispensed 
to us in the Holy Scriptures. Here we are 
taught to confide in the goodness of God, 
and, through faith and hope, look forward to 
permanent happiness. 

In the Old Testament, before a future 
state was so clearly revealed, worldly pros- 
perity and happiness were often promised as 
a reward to the righteous : but the Gospel 
dispensation breathes a very different lan- 
guage. The whole tenour of it precludes 



400 1813. 

us from the expectation of finding the good- 
ness of God in dispensing temporal blessings : 
we are exhorted to seek and to pursue those 
which are eternal. 

The lip of Truth pronounced a blessing on 
the poor and the afflicted, whilst woe was 
denounced against those who received their 
consolation in this world. A renunciation 
of the world, and all worldly tempers, a 
taking up our daily cross, and, through faith 
and obedience, looking forward to future 
scenes for our reward, is the uniform doctrine 
of the Gospel. The language of our Sa- 
viour is, " In the world ye shall have 
trouble;" but in Him we are to expect 
peace. In this holy peace, bestowed by the 
Saviour of the world, we feel the infinite 
Goodness of God extended to man ; and in 
this view every thing around us bears a dif- 
ferent aspect. It seems consistent with the 
nature of rational beings, to endeavour to 
view things as they ^really are ; and it may 
inspire an increase of confidence, that, as we 
fall so short of that happiness here, for which 
we seem designed, and for which we have 
proportionate faculties, that we shall feel 
the accomplishment of our wishes in a state 
that shall be hereafter. And this should en- 



1813. 401 

courage us to press on with alacrity, lest, 
respecting ourselves as individuals, the end 
designed should be frustrated. 

Notwithstanding there are many things 
for which we cannot account in the visible 
creation, yet in whatever our capacities can 
comprehend, we see every thing admirably 
fitted for the purpose for which it was de- 
signed, the means always adequate to the 
end. Is not this ground of assurance that the 
government of Providence over the moral 
world, however incomprehensible to us, is 
likewise working its intended end, the salva- 
tion and final happiness of man ? Under the 
influence of this impressive faith, we contem- 
plate, and confide in infinite Goodness ; we 
thank God, and take courage. Though en- 
compassed with those things that appear to 
be evils, we consider them all, through in- 
finite Mercy, working together for good. 
We endeavour to fulfil, with alacrity, the 
duties of our station ; comfortingthe afflicted, 
and relieving the distressed, as far as our 
ability extends ; and, animated with faith 
and hope, can often acknowledge the good- 
ness of God even in bestowing temporal 
blessings, which, though we are not to 
centre in them, are subjects for grateful 
praise. 



402 1813. 

6th,2d Mo. — Prayer is an ascending of the 
soul to God; a thirsting for him, and feeling 
desires raised to be united to him, as the 
Source of all good. It is said of a wicked 
man, that " God is not in all his thoughts."* 
Of a righteous man, it may be said, that God 
19 in all his thoughts. All his employments 
and transactions have a reference to God : to 
gain His favour is the predominant desire of 
his soul ; his affections are set upon Heaven, 
and heavenly things, and the breathings of 
his soul are aspirations to the Supreme 
Good. This is the prayer of the heart, 
which strengthens and vivifies, while it finds 
acceptance at the throne of Grace. The 
righteous man feels his own weakness and 
infirmity : he knows how frail he is ; he looks 
up to God for help, counsel and preserva- 
tion : if he fall, he knows where to seek for 
pardon and reconciliation. It is said of the 
just man, that though he fall, he shall rise 
again. Though deeply humbled, he trusts 
in the mercy of a Redeemer, who has pro- 
mised, that, upon true repentance, he shall 
be forgiven, and his sins blotted out. Thus, 
upon the wings of faith and hope, he en- 
deavours to ascend to Heaven ; he is ani- 
* Psalm x. 4. 



1813. 403 

mated with fresh courage to pursue his way: 
his confidence is revived by the declaration of 
Him who said, "Ask and it shall be given you, 
seek and ye shall find:"* and, through this 
strength, he finds acceptance at the throne of 
Grace, and worships the Father of spirits, in 
spirit and in truth. 

2d, 3d Mo. — Last night, in a wakeful mood, 
busied and perplexed with the cares of this 
life, and looking forward with anxiety, my 
mind seemed comforted with the revival of 
the sentence, " Trust in God." Could we 
but confide in him as we ought, our anxieties 
respecting the things of this life would be 
greatly alleviated. Trust in God, calms the 
weary spirits, and composes the mind under 
all the vicissitudes of life. We look forward 
with hope, that all things will be ordered 
for the best, and feel tranquillity, even 
though encountering the various troubles 
that surround us. Oh that our faith may 
never fail! but that, " although the fig-tree 
shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in 
the vines ;"+ though various disappoint- 
ments and trials should cloud all our pros- 
pects respecting this world, we may yet adopt 
the language of the prophet, " I will rejoice 

*Matt. vii.7. t Hab. iii. 17, 18. 



401 1813. 

in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my 
salvation !" 



9th, 5th Mo.—The parable of the la- 
bourers in the vineyard, who were called to 
work at various hours of the day, affords 
great encouragement to those who are wil- 
ling to labour, even though they may have 
been idle till the eleventh hour, often com- 
pared to the evening of life. Perhaps at first 
sight, it may not be equally encouraging to 
those who are called at an early hour to go 
into the vineyard and work. They may be 
tempted to say, our reward will be no greater 
if we " bear the burden and heat of the day," 
than that of those who " have wrought but 
one hour."* But let us remember that it is 
not at our option at what time we shall be 
called upon to labour, and that a willingness 
on our part to obey the summons whenever 
we receive it, is indispensable. u Why stand 
ye here all the day idle?"t was the query 
put to those last sent into the vineyard : 
their answer was, " Because no man hath 
hired us," and they went in faith, being only 
told, " Whatsoever is right, that shall ye 
receive." Nothing appears but that it was 
necessity, not choice, that occasioned their 

* Matt. xx. 6, 7, 12. + Ibid. 






1813. 405 

standing idle so long, as there was no hesita- 
tion in going, when called, at any of the 
hours mentioned. And if we farther consi- 
der the parable as symbolical of life, we 
know how difficult it is for those to labour, 
who are entirely unaccustomed to it, whilst 
others, who have been in the habit of it from 
an early period, get through it with ease and 
alacrity. Let us encourage the faith, that 
we are under the direction of a kind and good 
Master, who will assuredly not withhold 
from us the promised reward, though his 
bounty may often increase it. 

11th, 5th Mo. — OLord, all power in heaven 
and in earth is thine. Thou sayest, Let 
there be light, and there is light : thou com- 
mandest, and it cometh to pass. Suffer us 
not, we beseech thee, ever even in the most 
transient glance of thought, to compare thee 
to an austere man, or a hard master; but 
whatever commands thou mayst give, or 
whatever dispensations thou mayst allot us, 
give us faith to believe that they are ap- 
pointed in mercy and love. And as our Sa- 
viour expressly declares, " No man can come 
to me, except the Father which hath sent 
me draw him ;"* we earnestly beseech thee 

* John, vi. 44. 



406 1813. 

to draw us nearer and nearer to thy heavenly 
kingdom. Influence our minds, we humbly 
pray thee, to believe in Christ Jesus, our 
Lord, with a saving faith; that obeying him 
in the simplicity of little children, we may 
find acceptance with thee ; and that feeling 
our hearts touched with a sense of thy good- 
ness and mercy, we may acknowledge, "Great 
and marvellous are thy works, Lord God 
Almighty, just and true are thy ways, thou 
King of saints."* 

16th, bth Mo. — Great riches are great temp- 
tations. Their tendency is to lead from 
Christian humility, and to set up the pos- 
sessors with the importance of self. Often 
they serve as wings to fly away to the regions 
of luxury and dissipation. " Give me neither 
poverty nor riches,"+ was the prayer of one 
formerly who considered the danger of both 
states. Both have their peculiar tempta- 
tions, and riches are not to be indiscrimi- 
nately despised: but how few consider them- 
selves as only stewards, and that they must 
give an account to their Master of all the 
possessions over which they have exercised 
their stewardship. The poor may be said to 
be in bondage to hard labour; but does it 
* Revelations, xv. 3. + Prov. xxx. 8. 



1813. 407 

follow that the rich are free ? Though they 
may live in the fatness of the land, and ap- 
pear to dwell at ease in their possessions, 
yet are they in bondage to customs and 
fashions, and perhaps enjoy as little, or less 
of real liberty, than those in a lower situation. 
How often is it settled, that people in 
affluence must live in a certain style ; that 
they must support a particular character in 
life, and do as others do in the same situa- 
tion ; and well will it be, if they do not think 
it necessary to conform to some customs 
which are an infringement on morals. I 
suppose people can hardly be reckoned gen- 
teel, without ordering their servants to say 
that they are not at home, when they do not 
choose to receive company. The extenua- 
tion alleged is, We must do it to avoid 
giving offence, or be continually exposed to 
intruders. The laws of fashion will not allow 
us to say that we are particularly engaged, 
but they will permit us to say that we are 
not at home, though suspected, or even 
known to be so. But if people in high life 
can reconcile this, by saying that they under- 
stand one another, how is it possible to pre- 
vent the pernicious effects resulting from it 
on the lower classes of society ? or how can 
masters or mistresses find fault with servants 



408 1813. 

for deceiving them, or saying they were at 
home, when suspected of being improperly 
absent ? 

If people would but seriously consider the 
dangerous consequences likely to accrue from 
some customs which they inadvertently adopt, 
it would surely be a check to their proceed- 
ings. Every deviation from truth, even in 
the smallest things, lessens that habitual re- 
verence for it that we ought to feel, and 
which is the glory of a nation, as well as 
that of every individual of the community 
throughout all classes, from the monarch 
upon the throne, to the meanest of his sub- 
jects. 

30th, 5th Mo. — That one event happeneth 
to all, " one event to the righteous and to 
the wicked;"* that " Our Father, which 
is in Heaven," " maketh his sun to rise on the 
evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the 
just and on the unjust, "t is a truth often 
brought before our view ; but let it not 
stagger our faith, for we are looking forward 
to a better country, beyond the boundaries of 
time. And whatever may be our allotted 
portion here, if we endeavour, through faith 
in Christ, who hath opened for us the door 
* Eccles. ix. 2. t Matt. t. 45. 



1813. 4C9 

of salvation, conscientiously to discharge our 
various duties while we are possessed of men- 
tal ability, we shall, no doubt, whenever our 
change comes, enter into that rest prepared 
for the righteous. 

When the faculties are gone, either from 
derangement or any other cause, the mind is 
as incapable of acting, as the body is of ex- 
ertion in the decrepitude of old age ; both 
excite the tender sympathy and care of our 
friends, and may perhaps afford them lessons 
of instruction, and call forth feelings which 
may prove a lasting benefit to them. 

6th, llth Mo. — A life of ease and indul- 
gence, I am persuaded, does not forward our 
progress in the road to Christian perfection. 
To take up a cross merely for the sake of 
self-discipline, may seem unnecessary. There 
are many crosses which we must unavoidably 
bear in our passage through life ; therefore 
wilfully to inflict them on ourselves, we are 
ready to conclude, cannot be required of us. 
But there is a medium between the austerity 
of a convent, and the luxury of the world ; 
and to choose this point is, I believe, our 
truest felicity. 

However plausible self-indulgence may 
appear, with regard to the happiness of this 

T 



410 1813. 

life, experience will convince us, that it has 
not appertaining to it, either the promise of 
this life, or of that which is to come. 

As labour and exercise strengthen the 
body, and make it hardy and robust, so men- 
tal discipline strengthens the mind. If we 
sit down and say to ourselves, even with 
respect to things in their nature innocent, I 
will allow myself every indulgence of which 
my situation admits, we shall find such a 
resolution productive of uneasiness instead 
of felicity. Our wants will increase without 
our being able to satisfy them ; effeminacy 
and a false delicacy will prevail ; and what 
we shall eat, what we shall drink, and where- 
withal we shall be clothed, will be in danger 
of occupying our minds. The clothing of 
the husbandman and the viands of the la- 
bourer need not be adopted by those in 
higher ranks and stations, neither would it 
be possible to determine exactly, what in- 
dulgences ought to be allowed, and what 
rejected. Different indulgences and self- 
denials are adapted to different constitutions 
and situations in life ; but let us in all states 
endeavour to keep our bodies in subjection, 
remembering that too much ease and luxury 
only tend to enervate the soul. Let us con- 
sider of how little importance are all things 



1813. 411 

of a temporary nature, and keep them in 
their due place ; knowing* that those who 
would be disciples of Christ, must take up 
their daily cross and follow Him ; not suffer- 
ing their minds to be engrossed with tempo- 
ral gratifications, but looking forward with 
an eye of faith to those that are eternal. 

Uth, 11th Mo.— "If Godwill indeed be 
with me, and will keep me in this way that 
I go, and will give me bread to eat, and 
raiment to put on, so that I come again to my 
father's house in peace, then shall the Lord 
be my God."* 

The Creator, in merciful condescension to 
his creature, seems to have accepted this con- 
ditional promise. Perhaps the situation of 
Jacob, and the perturbed state his mind was 
most likely in, might contribute to make 
some outward evidence peculiarly necessary. 
Probably too, some outward manifestations 
of Divine power might be requisite for those 
who were surrounded by idolatrous nations, 
to strengthen their reliance upon God, and 
confirm their faith, that be whom their fa- 
thers worshipped was the only true God. 

More noble, indeed, was the confidence of 
Job, who in the midst of the greatest cala- 

* Gen. xxviii. 2), 21. 



412 1813. 

mities had faith to say, " Though he slay 
me, yet will I trust in him."* Something 
similar likewise was the declaration of Ha- 
bakkuk : " Although the fig-tree shall not 
blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines ; 
the labour of the olive shall fail, and the 
fields shall yield no meat ; the flock shall be 
cut off from the fold, and there shall be no 
herd in the stalls : yet will I rejoice in the 
Lord, I will joy in the God of my salva- 
tion." f Whatever might be the allowances 
made to mankind in former periods, before a 
future state was fully made known, and when 
the promises were chiefly relative to worldly 
prosperity, no such allowances are now to 
be expected. In the present day, under the 
Gospel dispensation, when the hopes of im- 
mortality are clearly revealed to us, no ifs 
or thens can ever be suffered to take place- 
In all situations the Lord must be our God. 
We must love Him and confide in him with 
all our hearts : there must be no reserve in 
any shape ; we must surrender to him body, 
soul, and spirit, with an entire submission. 

In the greatest calamities that can befal 
us, and even when our tongues are ready to 
cleave to the roof of our mouths for thirst, 
still we know that he is our only hope ; that 

* Job, xiii. 15. + Hah. iii. 17, 18. 



1813. 413 

when he pleases, he can open rivers in high 
places, and fountains in the midst of the val- 
leys."* But though we should die for thirst, 
we know that our Saviour and Redeemer 
has never promised us worldly prosperity, 
but a glorious state of immortality is held 
out as our reward. And though we should 
perhaps find it a hard lesson to learn to re- 
joice in tribulation, yet when we are ani- 
mated with the hope that from the various 
blessed effects attending it, it will work " for 
us a far more exceeding and eternal weight 
of glory,"+ it may well reconcile us to bear 
it. And as He who is called the Captain of 
our salvation, was made perfect through suf- 
ferings, so we his followers must be con- 
tented to walk in the same path, looking 
forward to the " recompence of reward" at 
last. 

9th, 12th Mo. — Yesterday, a subject of 
painful delinquency came before our Monthly 
Meeting. It led me to reflection on the neces- 
sity (in every sense) of keeping the heart with 
all diligence, and carefully guarding against 
the intrusion of improper thoughts ; once 
indulged, they are in danger of leading to 
improper acts ; the passions which ought to 
* Isaiah, xli. 18. t II Cor. iv. 17. 



414 1813. 

be in subjection assail us with increased 
force, and are nourished by vain imagina- 
tions : thus evil thoughts are often succeeded 
by evil acts, such as perhaps we might have 
started from with horror at the first sug- 
gestion, and which will be inevitably fol- 
lowed by confusion and remorse. By suf- 
fering any improper ideas to dwell on our 
minds, they gain strength, their turpitude 
lessens in our view, and they gradually ac- 
quire such an ascendancy over us, that when 
temptations are presented to us, we are in 
great danger of falling in with them, instead 
of struggling to resist them. When we con- 
sider the corruption of our nature, and our 
proneness to evil, there is little room to trust 
in our own strength, or place much confi- 
dence in ourselves : we are at best, but weak, 
frail creatures, and with all humility should 
apply for help and strength to Him who is 
willing to impart it according to our need, 
adopting the language of that prayer taught 
us by our Lord and Saviour, " Lead us not 
into temptation, but deliver us from evil." 
Preserve us, we beseech thee, in a state of 
watchfulness and prayer, guard us from all 
the snares that surround us, and so purify 
our souls, that we may find acceptance of 
thee, O Lord. 






1814. 415 



1814. 

7th y 1st Mo. — O Lord, I beseech thee, have 
mercy upon me. Pardon my iniquities, and 
blot out my transgressions. 

This is the language of the truly penitent 
soul, when humbled under a sense of its va- 
rious sins and infirmities ; the language that 
seems almost spontaneously to arise in our 
minds, when we consider the holiness that is 
required of us, to gain an admittance into that 
state, where nothing that is impure can ever 
enter. When we look back with regret, and 
forward with dismay, we are sometimes ready 
to adopt the language of Nehemiah, when 
he considered the sins of the people, and 
thought upon the devastations of Jerusa- 
lem, " O Lord God of Heaven, the great and 
terrible God."* But let us rather look to- 
wards the covenant of love, than contem- 
plate the Almighty in all his terrors : rather 
look towards him as a Father, willing to re- 
ceive his repentant children, than as an in- 
exorable Judge. 

The consideration of our own failings leads 
us to compassionate more than censure the 
failings of others. We know how often we 

* Neh. i. 5. 



416 1814. 

have fallen into temptation, but we know 
not how much stronger may have been the 
temptations of others, nor how much lower 
we might have fallen, had not the mercy of 
God prevented us. We can seldom review 
ourselves without seeing much more cause 
for humiliation than for any self-exaltation. 
Under these impressions, we joyfully receive 
the glad tidings of the Gospel, that a Saviour 
and Redeemer is born unto us, whose invi- 
tation to sinful man is to repent and believe; 
to come to him in faith, assured that upon 
our sincere repentance, our sins shall be 
blotted out. That He who came to be a 
sacrifice for sin, and to finish transgression, 
will, through the operation of the Holy 
Spirit, sanctify our hearts ; and as we sub- 
mit to his power, so cleanse us from all im- 
purity, as that through him, we may find 
acceptance with the Father. 

1st, 2d Mo. — Persons well informed, of 
the best abilities^ and with the most serious 
intentions, entertain such different apprehen- 
sions respecting the mysterious parts of the 
Gospel, that it seems sometimes difficult to 
know what to decide, or where to fix our 
wavering faith. Why we are involved in so 
much obscurity with regard to those things 



1814. 417 

that seem of so much importance, and which 
excite our earnest solicitude, is inexplicable 
to us ; for finite capacities cannot fathom in- 
finite Wisdom, nor the things formed com- 
prehend the plans of Him who formed them. 
Perhaps the darkness that envelops us may 
be designed as an exercise of faith. Being 
assured that infinite Wisdom is accompanied 
by infinite Goodness, we may rely with entire 
confidence on our Divine Protector, trusting 
that however dark may be the path through 
which we are to walk, if we do but endea- 
vour to keep close to our Guide, we shall 
arrive at a happy termination. If he hold 
but a glimmering light, we shall do well to 
follow it, though we may be able to see little 
of the path through which we are passing, 
or of the surrounding objects. Our Saviour 
said to the Jews, " Search the Scriptures ; 
for in them ye think ye have eternal life : 
and they are they which testify of me ; and 
ye will not come to me that ye might have 
life."* Their minds were so filled with the 
ideas of worldly prosperity and glory, that 
they did not understand those prophecies 
that pointed out the humiliation and suffer- 
ings of the Saviour of mankind. 

If we search the Scriptures to find the way 

* John, y. 39. 

T 5 



418 1814. 

to eternal life, let us not turn away sorrow- 
ful, because Ave dislike the terms. Our Sa- 
viour's public discourses, which were ad- 
dressed to the multitude, were generally 
plain and simple, and easy to be understood. 
Though there were some deviations from this 
rule, yet any mysterious parts were chiefly 
directed to his disciples, or in private con- 
versations, where we may suppose the parties 
were better able to comprehend him. To 
the multitude he gave plain rules of conduct, 
and evinced his power and authority by 
working miracles. If any man doubted of 
his doctrine, he gave him a clue to ascertain 
its truth. " If any man will do His will, he 
shall know of the doctrine whether it be of 
God."* Let us, with the docility of little 
children who are obedient to their parents, 
follow this rule, and endeavour, in true sim- 
plicity of heart, to do the will of our hea- 
venly Father, as far as it is revealed to us. 
In this frame of mind, I believe we shall be- 
come more and more enlightened : Divine 
knowledge will be unfolded to our view, 
and our path will be like that of the just, 
which " is as the shining light, that shineth 
more and more unto the perfect day."+ 
* John, vii. 17 + Prov. iv. 1 8. 






1814. 419 

3d, ith Mo. — Have mercy upon us, we be- 
seech thee, O Lord. Thou hast formed us, 
and brought us into being. So enlighten 
our understandings, we pray thee, that we 
may clearly discern the path wherein thou 
wouldst have us walk ; and, however igno- 
rant we may be respecting other things, 
suffer us not to be ignorant of that which 
appertains to our salvation. All the bless- 
ings we enjoy proceed from thy bounty ; and 
as faith is thy gift, O Lord, grant us such a 
portion of it, that we may at all times rely on 
thee. And as our Saviour has declared, that 
no man can come to him, except the Father 
draw him; so influence us by thy grace, that 
we may come to Him, who is the Way, the 
Truth and the Life ; that, being enlightened 
and guided by the operation of the Holy 
Spirit in our hearts, we may be safely con- 
ducted through all our doubts and diffi- 
culties, and at last be received into those 
mansions of bliss, prepared for all those who 
follow on to know Thee the Lord, and Jesus 
Christ, whom thou hast sent. 

29th, ith Mo. — " In the day of prosperity 
be joyful, but in the day of adversity con- 
sider."* 

* Eccles. vii. 14. 



420 1814. 

We thank thee, O Heavenly Father, for 
all the blessings of life. And we believe that 
the incense of a grateful heart will be ac- 
cepted of thee. Suffer not, we beseech thee, 
our affections to be too much entangled with 
the perishable things of this life, but so tem- 
per adversity with prosperity, that we may 
not forget the end of our existence, but be 
prepared for a mansion with thee hereafter. 
We entreat thee, so impress our minds with 
a sense of thy love and mercy towards us, 
that we may never repine at any of thy dis- 
pensations, nor doubt of their being all in- 
tended for our good. And under the in- 
fluence of living faith, enable us to offer up 
praise and thanksgivings to thee, for all thy 
favours ; most of all, for the means of salva- 
tion through Jesus Christ ; by whom we 
hope to receive the remission of our sins, and 
be finally accepted of thee. 

3d, 7th Mo. — Meeting meditation. We are 
come here as a public acknowledgment that 
God is to be worshipped; likewise with 
the hope of witnessing the prediction of our 
Saviour verified, " Where two or three are 
gathered together in my name, there am I in 
the midst of them :" that thus, feeling some 
* Matt, xviii. 20. 



1814. 421 

influence of the holy spirit on our minds, we 
may be enabled to offer an acceptable sacri- 
fice, and worship the Father in spirit and in 
truth. But as the human mind seems inca- 
pable of spiritual adoration for any long con- 
tinuance, it may be likewise profitable, when 
the time is past in silence, to take some re- 
trospective view of our own conduct, and 
consider whether we are making any advances 
in that straight and narrow way, that leadeth 
to life eternal. There are few characters 
so perfect, but that there are some outward 
blemishes attached to them, some frailties 
and infirmities, that most easily beset them. 
And as every heart knoweth its own bitter- 
ness, so may every heart know its own sins 
and weaknesses, by bringing all to be tried 
by that unerring light, which discovers every- 
thing that is secret, and sheweth unto man 
what his thoughts are. 

21st, 8th Mo. — I believe I am rather apt to 
look at the gloomy side of things, and to be 
depressed by fear, more than encouraged by 
hope. From every thing that requires exer- 
tion or energy I am apt to shrink, and, like 
the slothful man, " think there is a lion in 
the way." I believe increasing deafness 
sometimes contributes to depress my spirits, 



422 1814. 

and make me sink into supineness : yet, when- 
ever I look back over my life, I may thank- 
fully acknowledge that I have been sup- 
ported through all its vicissitudes ; com- 
forted in the hours of anxiety, and strength- 
ened in the hours of trial f and I trust that I 
can now say, in a degree of faith, that I feel 
a willingness to submit to the refining hand, 
in whatever shape it may be manifested ; so 
that it may but purify my soul, and fit it for 
a heavenly mansion. 

24*A, 9th Mo.—" Behold, I am vile."* This 
was the self-abasing language of one who had 
endeavoured to walk in the fear of the Lord, 
and to fulfil all righteousness. Of one, re- 
specting whom the Almighty bore this testi- 
mony, that he was " a perfect and an upright 
man, one that feareth God and escheweth 
evil."t Yet, when the infinite power and 
majesty of the Supreme Being were more 
fully displayed before his eyes, his declara- 
tion was, " I have heard of thee by the hear- 
ing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth thee: 
wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust 
and ashes." J If these were the feelings of a 
man who had walked in integrity before 
God, what must be those of many of us poor 
* Job, rl. 4. + Ibid. i. 8. J Ibid. xlii. 5, 6. 



1814. 423 

creatures, who cannot look back with the 
confidence of holy Job, that we have con- 
scientiously endeavoured to discharge all the 
various duties of life, but have to lament 
how often we have failed, and fallen short of 
our duty both to God and man. 

In this state of deep humiliation, when our 
sins and transgressions rise up in judgment 
against us, a ray of hope beams upon the 
soul, from the consideration of the mercy of 
God, through Christ Jesus our Lord. He 
has declared that those who come unto him, 
he " will in no wise cast out;" and that, if 
we sincerely repent of our sins, we shall be 
forgiven. This is our source of consolation, 
when we consider how frail we are, and how 
impure we must appear before Him, who 
chargeth " his angels with folly," and " the 
heavens are not clean in his sight."* But 
when humbled and depressed in spirit, does 
not a query sometimes arise, Am I a true 
penitent ? I believe the best way to judge 
of the sincerity of our repentance for past 
faults, is to examine our hearts, and consider 
whether we now endeavour devotedly to fol- 
low the leadings of our great Lord and 
Master, praying that he would cleanse us 
from all sin, and grant us strength to resist 
* Job, xv. 15. 



424 1814. 

temptation. Then may we press forward, 
supported by faith and hope, trusting that, 
through the operation of his power on our 
minds, we shall be redeemed from all evil, 
and gain an admittance into the kingdom of 
everlasting rest and peace. 

It is the experience of many of us, that 
weakness belongeth to us, but that u our 
sufficiency is of God." The Apostle Paul 
endeavours to enforce the doctrine. " By 
grace are ye saved, through faith; and that 
not of yourselves, it is the gift of God."* It 
is the operation of this grace in our hearts 
that can alone redeem us from evil, and 
enable us, as we come under its guidance, to 
fulfil all righteousness. 

31st, 10th Mo. — Oh how my soul at times 
longs for a state of rest ! Rest from continual 
watching ; from struggling with the sins and 
infirmities of a corrupt nature. How can 
this state of rest and peace be obtained ? By 
coming to Jesus Christ ; to Him whose de- 
claration is, " I am the Way, the Truth and 
the Life;"+ " God so loved the world, that 
he gave his only begotten son," that all men 
" through him might be saved. "J My hope 
and trust are in the mercy and goodness of 

* Eph. ii. 8. t John, xiv. 6. % Ibid. iii. 16. 17. 



1SU. 425 

God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. I wish 
to avail myself of this mercy : to come to 
Christ as my Mediator and Redeemer: the 
means appointed by the Father to bring us 
from death unto life, and to gain for us an 
entrance into his heavenly Kingdom. But 
the process of redeeming love is a subject 
too exalted for the comprehension of our 
faculties. I pray for a right faith : that Faith 
which is the gift of God ; and to be drawn 
by the heavenly Father, without which our 
Saviour declares no man can come unto him. 
I desire to come unto him in the simplicity 
of a little child sensible of its own ignorance, 
and wishing to be taught. I have no pre- 
conceived opinions to be zealous for, no wish 
to square any thing to my own judgment; 
but as far as I know myself, am simply de- 
sirous that my mind may be so far enlightened 
that I may see the right path, and be enabled 
to walk therein. My anxious wish is to be- 
lieve what I ought to believe, and to practise 
what I ought to practise ; sometimes accom- 
panied with an earnest solicitude that no 
want of faith may prevent my application for 
help ; crying out, with the father of the child 
recorded in the Gospel, " Lord, 1 believe, 
help thou mine unbelief." If there remain 
any weakness of faith that would frustrate 



426 1814. 

thy kindness, strengthen it, I beseech thee, 
and clear away all doubts. I believe that 
thou art the Christ, the sent of the Father, 
to take away the sins of the world, and re- 
store fallen man to Divine favour. I long 
to feel thy sanctifying power operating on 
my mind, to cleanse it from all impurities, 
and fit it for a heavenly mansion. 

However unable we may be to comprehend 
the mystery of our redemption, we need not 
fear that such ignorance will preclude us 
from the benefit of it ; for the sincere desire 
to walk according to the light afforded us, 
with the disposition to receive farther in- 
structions that may be opened to our minds, 
will, no doubt, find acceptance with the Fa- 
ther of mercies. 

6th, llth Mo. — I feel the necessity of the 
renewal of that baptism which purifies the 
soul, and fits it for a habitation in the hea- 
vens. Under this abasement of self, hope 
still survives, and encourages us to trust in 
the mercy of God, through Jesus Christ, our 
Lord, who came to redeem us from all evil, 
and purify unto himself a peculiar people, 
zealous of good works. Thus brought into 
the valley of humility, I hope and believe 
that the discipline of life has been beneficial 



1815. 427 

to my soul : it has been good for me to be 
afflicted, and brought into a state of abase- 
ment. I had too high a spirit, too much 
confidence in myself; perhaps likewise, a too 
great desire after self-approbation, as well 
as too strong a wish to gain the applause of 
men ; both useful in moderation, but taking 
their rise in a species of pride, and pernicious 
when carried to excess. . 



1815. 

1st Mo. — [Extract from letter.'] — To keep 
children in the proper state of obedience, 
without having them stand in too much awe, 
is sometimes difficult. I have always wished 
that they should be afraid of doing wrong, 
but not afraid of me. I would encourage them 
to lay open their little hearts, and speak 
their thoughts freely; considering that by 
doing so, I have the best means of correcting 
their ideas, and rectifying whatever may be 
amiss. 1 am, from judgment, no great dis- 
ciplinarian ; if I err, 1 had rather it should 
be on the lenient side. Fear and force will, 
no doubt, govern children while little, but 
having a strong hold on their affections will 
have most influence over them in their pro- 
gress through life. Obedience I do consider 



428 1815. 

as an indispensable thing' in education ; but 
perhaps it would be imprudent to call it 
forth too frequently on trivial occasions. 

It may be said, that good principles are 
what we must chiefly depend upon for their 
conduct in future life; they are, no doubt, 
essential, and will have their effect. But 
respecting near connexions, duty, unaided by 
affection, is but a cold motive : where they 
go hand in hand, they strengthen each other ; 
but where duty and inclination draw dif- 
ferent ways, it frequently occasions a great 
struggle. Besides, good principles make a 
much stronger impression when inculcated 
with an affectionate familiarity, than when 
delivered in a dry lecture. 

To exalt one child with the view of either 
lowering or stimulating another, I am con- 
vinced, as far as my judgment and observa- 
tion extend, has a pernicious effect upon 
both. Most children will feel some sparks 
of envy kindled at frequently hearing an- 
other praised in comparison with themselves; 
this, where once given way to, is a torment- 
ing, and generally increasing passion, and 
prevents that love and harmony which should 
subsist in families; and which, where it pre- 
vails, leads them to rejoice in the happiness 
and good conduct of each other. 



1815. 429 

16£/j, kth Mo. — " Is any among you afflicted ? 
let him pray. Is any merry ? let him sing 
psalms."* Here seems advice for all the 
different states of mind that we may feel in 
our course through life. " Is any man af- 
flicted ? let him pray." This precept seems 
to accord with the general feelings of man- 
kind, or at least, with all the serious or re- 
flecting part. It is natural, in a state of sor- 
row, to turn our minds towards Him who can 
alone help us, to pray to Him who has all 
power, for the mitigation of our sorrows, or 
for support and consolation under them. We 
know that He who has wounded can alone 
heal, and we feel our minds relieved, as we 
are enabled to approach him in faith. Hum- 
bled and depressed in spirit, we are led to 
seek comfort from religious considerations, 
and in the ebullitions of grief, lift up our 
souls to God, though we may not have been 
much used to it in any other state. 

" Is any merry ? let him sing psalms." 
Here is pointed out to us the disposition we 
ought to cultivate when we are in a state of 
happiness and worldly prosperity. Thank- 
fulness and gratitude of heart to Him who is 
the bestower of every blessing we can enjoy 
either here or hereafter. But this precept 

* James, v. 13. 



430 1815. 

is not, I think, so often followed. The exu- 
berance of spirits which is sometimes felt 
to arise from present enjoyments, is too apt 
to overflow in various channels, and the 
Power by whom our blessings are conferred, 
is but little thought of. This negligence 
has a tendency to bring us again under dis- 
cipline; and convincing us that this world is 
not a state designed for permanent felicity, 
to make us turn our thoughts to a serious 
preparation for a better. 

Be temperate in all things, whether in joy 
or in sorrow ; looking to Him who rules over 
all; praying to him in the hour of affliction, 
and not sorrowing as those without hope, 
nor yet elevated in the seasons of joy and 
prosperity ; but with grateful hearts cele- 
brating His praises, who gives and takes away, 
at his pleasure, according as his wisdom sees 
best for his creatures. 

20th, 7 th Mo. — " Blessed is he whose trans- 
gression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. 
Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord im- 
puteth not iniquity."* Under any debility 
of body, or depression of spirits, how natu- 
rally are we led to contemplate the happi- 
ness of such a state. To trust that we are 
the objects of this mercy, that our pardon is 

* Psalm xxxii. 1, 2. 



1815. 431 

granted, and that we shall find acceptance 
with the Father of spirits, affords the most 
consoling hope that the mind of man can 
entertain. And if our hearts are sincere and 
upright, why should we be disquieted with 
doubts and apprehensions ? Why should we 
give way to desponding thoughts, instead of 
confiding in the goodness and mercy of God, 
through Jesus Christ, who has declared, that 
upon true repentance we shall be forgiven, 
if we come unto him in faith. But a query 
arises, Do I truly and sincerely repent ? and 
have I this right faith ? When we are deeply 
interested about our eternal welfare, it is a 
subject of too much importance to be trifled 
with, and we do right in endeavouring to 
examine every thing closely ; but the Scrip- 
tures hold forth the language of encourage- 
ment too strongly to suffer us to despond ; 
and in both the Old and New Testament the 
mercy of God to penitent sinners is fre- 
quently declared. Faith works by love to 
the purifying of the soul ; and if we submit 
to this operative principle, and are desirous 
to be more and more governed by it, and 
abide under its influence, there is no doubt 
that we shall make some progress heaven- 
ward, and evince, by the fruits we bring 
forth, that our repentance is sincere. 



432 1815. 

15th, llth Mo.— Most holy Lord God, I 
approach the presence of thy Divine Majesty 
with fear and trembling. I beseech thee, 
hold out the sceptre of thy love, that I may not 
be utterly cast down, but draw nearer and 
nearer to thee, who hast declared thyself to 
be a God of mercy and loving kindness. Day 
after day, and year after year, I have struggled 
to maintain a warfare with the corruptions 
of human nature ; and though I have often 
been vanquished and fallen, yet I trust, 
through thy strength and renewed help, I 
have been again raised up ; for which I 
desire to offer unto thee thanksgiving and 
praise. 

I humbly hope that thou, who seest the in- 
most recesses of our souls, seest that I have 
desired to love and serve thee as I ought. I 
desire to feel gratitude for all thy preserva- 
tions, in both spiritual and temporal things. 
Thou hast saved me when I was careless and 
negligent, and held me back when I was 
ready to be rebellious. At all times and in 
all seasons, thou hast been my stay and sup- 
port. Thou hast, whenever I have sought 
unto thee, stretched out a hand of help ; and 
thou hast encouraged me with a ray of hope, 
that, through redeeming love, thou wilt 



1815. 433 

pardon my transgressions, and receive my 
weary soul into a mansion of eternal rest. 

4^, 12th Mo. — Devotion arises from the 
overshadowings of Divine love on the soul, 
when our hearts are raised to the Fountain 
of all good; and when in contemplating his 
wisdom, power and goodness, we prostrate 
ourselves before him in adoration and praise. 
This seems to be the highest state of devotion 
of which our nature is capable : we are con- 
scious of our own nothingness, and the ex- 
cellency of his Majesty, and, under the sacred 
influence of his power, worship Him in spirit 
and in truth. 

But true devotion stretches much farther, 
and has a more extensive influence : it must 
be brought into all our conduct, and regulate 
all the concerns of this life. True devotion 
implies the desire to be conformable to the 
Divine will in all things ; a devotedness of 
mind to do, or to be, whatever His wisdom 
may appoint. When we are endeavouring 
to arrive at this state, it makes us quick- 
sighted, to discern all the intimations of the 
Spirit of Truth in our minds, and prompt to 
obey all its dictates. Devotion does not 
lead to a seclusion from the world, but to 
fulfil the various duties allotted us in it. 

u 



434 1815. 

Times of retirement are no doubt necessary. 
We must acquaint ourselves with God, and 
meditate in his law ; and it will be well for us 
to avail ourselves of such reading-, and other 
helps, as may draw us to a nearer acquaint- 
ance and more intimate union with him. But 
let us remember, that though we have the 
example of our Saviour for retirement and 
prayer, yet it is likewise recorded of him, 
that he u went about doing good." 

Devotion can never be an excuse for the 
neglect of any of our duties ; but if it have a 
proper influence over our minds, will prove 
a stimulus to the more diligent perform- 
ance of them. The fulfilling of one duty 
will not serve as a discharge from another. 
Let us not scrupulously tithe the mint, and 
the anise, and the cummin, and neglect the 
weightier matters of the law. 



12th 9 12th Mo. — I know that I cannot walk 
upright, unless supported by thee, O Lord ! 
Preserve me, I humbly beseech thee, through 
the vicissitudes of this day ! Bring down 
every proud thought ; and if consistent with 
thy will, clear up every doubt that obstructs 
my soul in its near access to thee. And as 
thou hast declared that thou wilt hear those 
who call upon thee, and that those who 



1816. 435 

trust in thee shall not be confounded, I feel 
my heart raised with a degree of hope and 
confidence that through thy beloved Son, 
whom thou hast appointed to be the door of 
the sheepfold, I may gain an entrance into 
the sacred inclosure, and find rest and peace. 



1816. 

14^/i, 3d Mo. — I have several times read 
Law's Serious Call, and his Christian Perfec- 
tion, and I think, always with some benefit. 
Though there appears in some parts a tinc- 
ture of superstition, and many of his rules 
are incompatible with the common concerns 
of the world, and adapted only to a monastic 
life, yet, in others, there is such strong rea- 
soning, and so much of the genuine spirit of 
Christianity, that it can scarcely fail of rais- 
ing some heavenly desires, some breathings 
of soul after that state of holiness and con- 
formity to the Gospel dispensation, which, 
though it may have claimed our approbation, 
we have only beheld as at a distance, and 
not brought home to our own conduct, as a 
line of measurement. We are so surrounded 
with the things of this world, and our feel- 
ings in many instances are so deeply inte- 
rested in it, that we frequently stand in need 



436 1816. 

of a stimulus to arouse and excite us to a 
proper sense of duty, and of the situation in 
which we stand, relative to another world. 
Whatever helps are offered to us, to prepare 
ourselves for this more durable and im- 
portant state, we shall do well to avail our- 
selves of, and not let the spirit of the world 
so govern our tempers and actions, as to 
draw us from that holy guidance which will 
enable us to overcome the world, and re- 
deem us from evil. 

10th,6th Mo. — In looking over some letters 
between John Locke and his friends, I find 
William Molyneux objects strongly to the 
rule he lays down, " never to suffer a child 
to have what he craves, or so much as speaks 
for," and makes some pertinent remarks on 
the subject. He says, it is denying a liberty 
between a child and his parents, which is 
granted between man and his Creator. "And 
as between the creature and Creator, all 
manner of repining upon denial or disap- 
pointment is forbidden, so, in the case of 
children, all frowardness or discontent upon 
a refusal, is severely to be reprimanded." 

This part of Locke's system I mentioned 
some objections to, page 340, and therefore 
felt pleased that others agreed with me in 



1816. 437 

opinion. In the answer to Molyneux's letter, 
Locke says, he thinks he has been rather mis- 
understood ; but still urges the point, that 
prevention is better than cure ; that children 
should be careful not to ask any thing of 
their parents, but what they think will be 
approved: for that a reprimand upon their 
ill-bearing a refusal, comes too late. This 
seems to imply, that children have more pe- 
netration and judgment than we should give 
them credit for ; and though W. M. ex- 
presses himself to be satisfied, the objections, 
I think, stand much upon the same ground 
as before. 

16th, 6th Mo. — Different motives may in- 
duce various individuals of our Society to 
quit it. Perhaps the most general one is, 
that the way is too strait and narrow to 
suit their inclinations, and that they do not 
much trouble themselves to examine farther. 
I think there are others who feel some serious 
impressions, some desires to prepare for a 
heavenly mansion, who yet perhaps enter- 
tain the opinion, that there is more strictness 
amongst us than is necessary. They want 
to be religious without so much of humilia- 
tion and the cross, and hope to satisfy their 
minds with some forms of religious worship, 



438 1816. 

which they find their own powers will enable 
them to practise, and upon which they can 
look back with self-complacency, And I 
think there are likewise some who, with de- 
vout and religious feelings, are led to be- 
lieve that a conformity to some outward 
ceremonies is necessary, in order to become 
members of Christ's kingdom. These senti- 
ments have perhaps gained additional force, 
from the comparison of their own spiritual 
experiences with the description of those of 
others. They are in haste to participate in 
a spiritual supper; and if they meet with 
those who invite them to partake of the ele- 
mentary bread and wine, distributed at what 
is called the communion table, and who ex- 
press their own satisfaction in so doing, 
they are flattered with the hope, that they 
may there, in the breaking of bread, find 
Him whom their souls desire. And if the 
practice of such forms be accompanied with 
faith ; if the spiritual senses are refreshed, 
and the fruit produced is holy, I should 
hardly dare to endeavour to shake the faith 
of such, in the use of them, however unim- 
portant they might appear to me ; I should 
rather consider them like the meat offered to 
idols, which either eaten of, or abstained 
from in faith, would meet with acceptance. 



1816. 439 

I doubt whether some religious minds may 
not let in a degree of despondency, from 
comparing their own feelings with those de- 
scribed by others. They hear them speak of 
spiritual enjoyments and communications, 
which upon close examination they cannot 
appropriate to themselves ; therefore fears 
and doubts intrude, that lead them to think 
they are not in the right way. But if with 
sincerity of heart they endeavour to walk 
before God in humility and fear, desiring 
to love him above all, and to fulfil all the 
duties he requires of them, they may rest 
assured that they are the objects of Divine 
regard, and that he will dispense to them 
that portion of spiritual food, which is pro- 
fitable for them. I believe there is a great 
difference in the description of spiritual feel- 
ing. Some persons would perhaps only say 
that their minds were in a state of comfort- 
able, solemn silence, when others would ven- 
ture to put a higher stamp upon it, and say, 
that they sat under the overshadowing wing 
of Divine love. The same difference would 
most likely occur in many other things, and 
probably arises (in part at least) from natu- 
ral warmth of feeling and temper. But these 
feelings are not the test by which we are to 
be tried. The language of our blessed Lord 



440 1816. 

is, " If ye love me, keep my commandments;" 
if our conduct evince this love, we are the 
disciples of Christ, and need not doubt that 
we shall be owned by him hereafter. 

To the class of the first description, it 
would be well to recommend serious inquiry; 
to admonish them to contemplate the im- 
portance of the subject, whether there be not 
something to be thought of, and something 
to be done, in order to a preparation for that 
state in which we are to be finally placed 
hereafter ; whether a life of dissipation and 
negligence will make us fit subjects for the 
kingdom of Heaven. 

If the second class were to read the Scrip- 
tures attentively, and consider the holiness 
of life and conversation there enjoined, and 
the purity of heart necessary to gain an en- 
trance into Christ's kingdom, they would see 
that the cross, and that holy discipline which 
it enjoins, must be submitted to, in order to 
salvation ; neither can any outward forms be 
substituted in its room, or serve as an equi- 
valent. Under the dispensation of the law, 
as well as under that of the Gospel, forms 
and ceremonies would avail nothing without 
the devotion of the heart. God, by the 
mouth of his prophets, expresses his abhor- 
rence of their sacrifices and vain oblations, 






1816. 441 

when their iniquities had separated them 
from him. And our Saviour declares, that it 
is not one or the other place that makes wor- 
ship acceptable, but that u the true wor- 
shippers shall worship the Father in spirit 
and in truth."* 

The third class seem to me, after " having; 
begun in the spirit," to seek to be " made 
perfect in the flesh. "t They have felt some 
spiritual desires raised, some hunger and 
thirst after the bread and water of life; and 
I trust, if they had abode in simplicity and 
patience, without seeking high things for 
themselves, they would in due time have been 
replenished therewith. If they think that 
they have found a readier way of attaining 
them through ordinances, let them reflect 
that the ordinances can be but the means, 
not the end. Let them beware of mistaking 
a warmth of imagination for the fervours of 
piety, or of considering any exalted feelings, 
or the practice of any ceremonial obser- 
vances, as a proof of their religious advance- 
ment. Rather let them examine themselves 
by a different touchstone ; see whether their 
love to God and man increases ; whether 
they are in that state of humility to which 

* John, iv. 23. t Gal. iii. 3. 

u5 



442 1816. 

a blessing is annexed, and whether they 
abound in righteousness and good works. 

30th> 6th Mo. — In looking over Owen's His- 
tory of the Bible Society, I have found much 
to interest and amuse; the sums collected, 
and the number of Bibles distributed, appear 
quite wonderful. Those who believe that 
the Scriptures are the revelation of the will 
of God, and profitable to make us wise unto 
salvation, would be likely to be zealous in 
spreading those Divine truths ; but such an 
ardour in the cause amongst the various 
ranks and classes of society, which are united 
together in the same object, would have 
seemed beyond conception. 

The Apostle Paul, after describing the 
excellency of faith, and believing in Christ, 
says, " So then faith cometh by hearing, and 
hearing by the word of God,"* having pre- 
viously inquired, " How shall they believe 
in Him of whom they have not heard, and 
how shall they hear without a preacher ?"+ 
To circulate the Scriptures appears the most 
likely means of disseminating the knowledge 
of the Gospel of Christ ; and when we con- 
sider that there only are life and immortality 
* Rom. x. 17. + Ibid. x. U. 



1816. 443 

clearly revealed to us, and that the rules of 
life there laid down have the greatest ten- 
dency to promote our happiness both here 
and hereafter, it seems almost a thing of 
course, for every well-wisher of mankind to 
join in the endeavour to promulgate them, 
as far as his ability extends. 

This is opposed by some, from the suppo- 
sition that the Scriptures want a comment 
or explanation to make them understood. 
That much obscurity hangs about some parts 
must be conceded. But who are those that 
can unravel the difficulties, and give a 
clear explanation ? I should think not 
the wise and the learned much better than 
the illiterate, if we may form a conclu- 
sion from their differences amongst them- 
selves, and their bitter invectives against 
each other ; remaining, after all, fully 
persuaded that their own opinions are the 
right. 

All Christian sects profess to draw their 
sentiments and doctrines from the same 
source, though they arrive at different con- 
clusions. Perhaps the subjects treated of 
in some parts cannot be brought down to a 
level with our capacities, while the rules and 
instructions by which we are to form our 
lives, may be easily understood. Whilst I 



444 1816. 

was reading- of the many who were joining 
in the distribution of sacred Truth, the re- 
flection crossed me, how little some of them, 
probably, were acquainted with those writ- 
ings. Others, perhaps, who know a little 
more of them, are not much disposed indi- 
vidually to a conformity with their rules, 
and are thus pulling down with one hand, 
while they are building with the other; their 
example not coinciding with the gift they 
confer. They will give money to distribute 
a Bible, and at the same time they will give 
money to be entertained and amused with 
those pastimes which are in opposition to it, 
and which could not be performed by per- 
sons who were endeavouring to make the 
doctrines of Christ the rule of their conduct, 
and to work out their soul's salvation. Were 
an actress to read the Scriptures, and her 
mind become imbued with a sense of religion, 
I think she must see the necessity of re- 
nouncing her present mode of life, from a 
conviction that it could not possibly accord 
with that purity of heart, life and conversa- 
tion, so strongly enforced in Holy writ, where 
we are told, swearing, jesting, and even 
every idle word, must be given an account 
of in the day of judgment. As it is said, 
that they who " turn many to righteousness 



1816. 445 

shall shine as the stars for ever and ever;"* 
some may think, that by joining in a good 
work, they shall come in for a share of this 
benefit, and commute for the indulgence of 
their own transgressions. Vain imagination ! 
There may be others who are led to think 
more seriously on the subject than they have 
ever done before, and thus find their own 
advantage in it. 

However, it does not come within the 
business of the Bible Society to investigate 
the various feelings of those who support it : 
that so glorious a cause may be supported is 
their object, and I should be induced to be- 
lieve that the motives generally were good, 
however mixed with human frailties and 
inconsistencies. 

17th, 10th Mo. — I apprehend it is not an 
uncommon case for people, instead of endea- 
vouring to make their life and conduct con- 
formable to their creed, to endeavour to find 
out a creed conformable with their disposition 
and conduct. They in many instances quit 
those societies in which they have beeu 
brought up, not because they think they can 
live more soberly and righteously in any 
other, but because they can, with less feeling 

* Dan. xii. 3. 



446 .' 1816. 

of restraint, indulge themselves in the pride 
and vanities of life. In some cases perhaps, 
they may even take upon themselves the 
baptismal vow, promising- to " renounce the 
Devil and all his works, the vain pomp and 
glory of the world," and intending at the 
same time to give themselves up to the more 
free enjoyment of the pomps and vanities 
of this world, than they had done hereto- 
fore. 

If a man make any change in his principles 
or practice that produces amendment in his 
life ; if he become more holy, just and good 
than formerly, more conformed to the ex- 
ample and precepts of Christ ; whatever his 
change may have been from or to, we must 
give him credit for the sincerity of his re- 
ligious principles ; but if none of these fruits 
be produced, whatever may be his professions, 
we shall be apt to conclude that he is endea- 
vouring to deceive other people, and perhaps 
himself. 

We read in the Scriptures of various wash- 
ings of the Jews ; of John's baptism, and of 
the Disciples of our Saviour baptizing : but 
where we shall find any thing that could give 
rise to the forms established either amongst 
Roman Catholics or Protestants, I know not. 
The considering water as made holy by 



1816. 447 

saying a few words over it, sprinkling; with 
it, and marking- a cross on the forehead, with 
other established ceremonies, I should sup- 
pose to be a much later institution than the 
times of the primitive Christians. 

22c?, 12th Mo.— We raise our thoughts to 
thee, O Lord, desiring that our lips may 
show forth thy praise. All the blessings we 
receive are from thy bountiful hand : and 
thou alone canst relieve all our wants. Oh 
may thy mercy and compassion never fail, 
but grant that we may continually be the 
objects of thy regard ! We deplore our many 
transgressions, and the various defilements of 
our corrupt nature. But we have nothing 
to offer unto thee as an atonement ; no lamb 
without blemish to bring for a burnt-offering; 
no goat to offer in sacrifice for our sins, like 
the Israelites of old. But in deep humility 
we approach thee, in a degree of faith, that 
through thy mercy in Jesus Christ, who gave 
himself to be a propitiation for the sins of the 
whole world, we shall experience our repen- 
tance to be availing, and that through him 
we shall find redemption and salvation. 
Grant us, we pray thee, O Lord, an increase 
of faith ; and so influence our hearts that we 
may grow in love to thee, and our obedience 



448 1816. 

become more and more perfect: that assisted 
by thy holy Spirit, we may be conformed to 
the example and precepts of our blessed 
Saviour and Redeemer, and at the conclusion 
of time be acknowledged as his disciples, and 
receive the welcome sentence of, " Come, ye 
blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom 
prepared for you from the foundation of the 
world."* 

2&th, 12th Mo. — I think in the Scriptures, 
both of the old and new Testament, the 
characteristic most recommended respecting 
women, is industry, keeping at home, and 
managing their own families and households 
well. In Proverbs, speaking of a virtuous 
woman, and enumerating her various good 
qualities^ it is said, " She worketh willingly 
with her hands."— " With the fruit of her 
hands she planteth a vineyard" — " She looks 
well to her household, and does not eat the 
bread of idleness. "+ The Apostle Paul 
strongly enforces the advice to women to be 
keepers at home, not wandering from house 
to house, being tattlers and busybodies. 
" The aged women" should be " in behaviour 
as becometh holiness." " That they may 
teach the young women to be sober, to love 
* Matt. xxv. 31. + Prov. xxxi. 13, &c. 



1816. 449 

their husbands, to love their children, to be 
discreet, chaste, keepers at home."* 

I doubt in the present day whether this 
advice is sufficiently regarded. I think the 
women, in many instances, seem rather en- 
croaching upon those employments and pub- 
lic interferences which are more peculiarly 
the province of men ; and this endangers their 
forgetting or neglecting those private duties 
which come more immediately under their 
care ; and the right fulfilling of which has an 
important influence over mankind in all 
ranks of life. I do not mean to infer that 
women are never called to the performance 
of any public duties. Some instances of this 
occur in Holy writ : and some stations in life 
may require an exercise of both the public 
and private duties, as far as it can be accom- 
plished. But as the public character is not 
that which is suitable or desirable to be 
generally sustained, I think it would be well 
not to set it up too high, or bestow on it any 
particular commendations which may excite 
the imitation or emulation of others. 

Where some duties must be neglected to 
fulfil others, it requires great caution how 
we step forward. And as the human mind, 
even when it takes a religious bias, is prone 

* Titus, ii. 3, 4, 5. 



450 1817. 

to endeavour to do something that may ap- 
pear great, and that it may look back upon 
with self-complacency, we should be careful 
not to propose any object of excitement that 
may in the general conduct of life be pro- 
ductive of prejudicial consequences. 



1817. 

8th, 2d Mo. — " Surely, goodness and 
mercy shall follow me all the days of my 
life."* This language must proceed from 
strong faith and confidence in God. No 
doubt from experience of the past, the 
Psalmist is led to anticipate the future : and 
from exalted feelings of the happiness of his 
present situation, encompassed with the 
blessings and care of the Almighty Shepherd, 
so that his " cup runneth over," he breaks 
out in the rapturous exclamation, " Surely, 
goodness and mercy shall follow me all the 
days of my life ; and I will dwell in the house 
of the Lord for ever."t 

May not some of us also acknowledge that 
mercy and goodness have followed us all the 
days of our lives ? that however depressed 
and afflicted, we have not been forsaken : that 
in all our trials and probations, Divine mercy 

* Psalm xxiii. 6. t Ibid. 



1817. 451 

has been extended towards us ; that His 
" rod and his staff have comforted us," and 
that we have felt his assisting power to lead 
us in the paths of righteousness. This should 
animate us to take courage and not be cast 
down below hope ; trusting that the Almighty 
Arm is still near to support us, and that if 
we continue to wrestle, we shall at last re- 
ceive the blessing. 

Yesterday I entered my seventieth year. 
I believe few can feel themselves on the verge 
of another world, without experiencing some 
awful sensations. We know not where, or 
" what we shall be."* What state of being 
we shall be in, and what will constitute our 
happiness, we can form no adequate idea of. 
Whilst in this state of existence we behold 
the beauties of the visible world. " The 
heavens declare the glory of God : and the 
firmament showeth his handiwork. Day 
unto day uttereth speech, and night unto 
night showeth knowledge. "t But respecting 
the mode of our future existence we cannot 
even conjecture. Yet from beholding the 
wisdom and power manifested in the crea- 
tion of this material world, may we not form 
the conclusion that the spiritual world will 
far more exceed in glory, and place those 

* I John, iii. 2. + Psalm xix. 1, 2. 



452 1817. 

who are permitted to enter into that King- 
dom in a state of happiness beyond what 
they could either " ask or think ?" But when 
on the brink of eternity, the awful feeling 
of our situation does not so much arise from 
the ignorance we are in respecting what 
mode of existence will take place, as from 
the consideration, that " we must all appear 
before the judgment-seat of Christ."* Even 
fear and trembling are ready to take hold on 
us, when we remember all our iniquities, and 
that our most secret thoughts are laid open 
before our judge. I think it is somewhere 
said that mercy shall cover the judgment-seat 
to a hair's breadth. We must trust in the 
mercy and goodness of God ; that he will 
compassionate his creature man, and not be 
extreme to mark that which is done amiss. 

27th, 2d Mo. — Sensible of the importance 
of our present state respecting futurity, what 
can we do, O Lord, but fly to thee for suc- 
cour and support ? We are poor, weak and 
ignorant, insufficient for any thing without 
thy help. I trust the hearts of many of us 
are open to receive instruction ; suffer us 
not, we beseech thee, to grope in darkness, 
so as to endanger our utterly falling. We 
* II Cor. v. 10. 



1817. 453 

come unto thee, not in our own wisdom and 
righteousness, but in the simplicity of little 
children, desiring to be taught ; serious and 
sincere in our inquiry, " What is truth ?V 
and solicitous to walk according to its dic- 
tates. Endue us, we beseech thee, O Lord, 
with such a portion of knowledge as may make 
us " wise unto salvation ;"* that through 
the assistance of thy holy Spirit, we may 
walk forward in the just man's path, which 
h is as the shining light, that shineth more 
and more unto the perfect day." + 

We have gone astray like lost sheep, and 
our sins are multiplied upon us. But we 
look unto thee for mercy and redemption, 
through Jesus Christ our Lord, who has de- 
clared himself to be " the way, the truth 
and the life." J Grant us, if consistent with 
thy will, such an insight into thy spiritual 
kingdom as may enable us to walk forward 
with some clearness : and such an increase of 
faith, that our belief and practice may be 
well-pleasing in thy sight. Thus, being 
guided and enlightened by thee, may we 
press forward, step by step, till we arrive at 
" the mark for the prize of our high call- 
ing;" and are prepared for a habitation with 
thee for ever. 

» II Tim. iii. 15. + Prov. iv. 18. J John, xiv. 6. 



454 1817. 

27th, 3d Mo. — I believe most serious per- 
sons, at times, feel that calm tranquillity of 
mind, from the power that religion has over 
it, in which they can acknowledge that they 
experience a degree of happiness, and a por- 
tion of that peace, which our Saviour be- 
stowed upon his disciples, and which it is 
not in the power of the world to give, nor 
wholly to take away. Adam Clarke says, in 
his notes on the New Testament, " Every- 
man must know if he is in a state of accept- 
ance with God." Is not this going too far ? 
Many a timid mind may distrust itself; and 
in this situation, people may give way to 
doubts and fears, lest they should not be in 
that safe state which will ensure their salva- 
tion, who are nevertheless objects of Divine 
favour and love. I believe the best of u 
cannot examine ourselves, without seein 5 
that we err either in act or thought ; that we 
have not, with all our endeavours, fulfille 
the conditions proposed to us, and must at 
last throw ourselves upon the Divine mercy, 
in the hope of forgiveness and acceptance. 
But however well-grounded may be our 
hope through the mediation of our Saviour 
and Redeemer, still it is but hope ; it does 
not amount to confidence and assurance ; 
and though there are instances recorded in 



i 



1817. 455 

Scripture of some who had attained to such a 
state ; and there may have been some in- 
stances since, where the feeling of certainty 
has overcome all doubt, yet the examples 
that can be depended upon are but rare, and 
unless it were experienced just at the closing 
period, would probably not tend to promote 
that humility and watchfulness, so necessary 
to our progress in the Christian life. 

20th, 4ith Mo.— I come unto thee, O Lord, 
deeply humbled under a sense of my trans- 
gressions : u Have mercy upon me, O God, 
according to thy loving kindness ; according 
unto the multitude of thy tender mercies, 
blot out my transgressions."* I come unto- 
thee, imploring forgiveness through Jesus 
Christ our Lord, who came into the world 
to save sinners ; to redeem us from the bond- 
age of corruption, and cleanse us from our 
iniquities. I often feel the witness in my- 
self of the truth of his assertion, " Without 
me ye can do nothing." Deeply mourning 
over the corruption of my nature, and its 
propensities to evil, and feeling how weak 
and frail I am, I can only earnestly apply to 
thee for help and strength, through Jesus 
Christ our Lord, whom thou hast appointed 

* Psalm li. 1. 



456 ]817. 

to be our sanctification and redemption. 
Accept my sincere repentance, I beseech 
thee, O Lord ; and grant that through his 
holy aid, I may be cleansed from all faults, 
and become more and more fitted for a 
heavenly kingdom. 

21st, ith Mo. — " Who can understand his 
errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults. "* 
The Prayer-Book translation is, " Who can 
tell how oft he offendeth ? O cleanse thou 
me from my secret faults." In a sermon on 
this text, Paley concludes the " secret faults" 
to be those of which the Psalmist himself 
was not aware at the time, or that he did not 
see them to be faults at the time. Though 
I do not recollect that this idea ever struck 
me before, his arguments on the subject ap- 
pear to me conclusive : the petition to be 
cleansed from secret faults, must mean some- 
thing more than those faults which are only 
secret from other people. In the New Tes- 
tament, we read that u that servant which 
knew his Lord's will," and did not " accord- 
ing to his will," was to " be beaten with 
many stripes." " But he that knew not, and 
did commit things worthy of stripes," was 
to " be beaten with few stripes. "t Thus 

* Psalm xix. 12. t Luke, xii. 47, 48. 



1817. 457 

ignorance cannot claim an exemption from 
punishment, though much less culpable than 
transgressing against knowledge. Serious 
reflections on myself convince me, that in the 
course of my life I have committed many 
errors, which have not struck me to be such 
at the time, (or at least, not forcibly so), but 
which have afterwards, when my mind was 
more awakened, been subjects for deep com- 
punction. And as we have no certainty that 
future time may not sit in judgment on the 
present, as the present does on the past, it 
raises strong desires to be cleansed from 
every sin wherein we have offended, as well 
as earnestness in our prayers for help and 
preservation : that our minds may be so en- 
lightened that we may see every thing in its 
proper colour, and that we may receive that 
spiritual aid, which will guard us against all 
secret, as well as presumptuous sins. 

\0th, 5th Mo. — Yesterday evening, we re- 
ceived in the course of their family 

visit to our Meeting. They seemed to have 
a particular insight into the state and varied 
feelings of my mind, and encouragement and 
consolation were freely administered. 

When the spirits have been depressed, it 
is reviving to be encouraged with the belief, 

x 



458 1817. 

that we are still the objects of Divine mercy 
and regard ; and our faith afresh invigorated 
with the hope, that He who has been our 
morning light, will likewise become our 
evening song. 

30th, 5th itfo.-This morning was the con- 
cluding meeting of our women's Yearly 
Meeting. To how many will it be the con- 
cluding meeting in a much more extensive 
sense of the word ! I think, whatever we 
may have lost, we have certainly gained in 
humility and meekness of deportment; and 
as far as I can judge, they more extensively 
operate than they did in former times. 

9th, llth Mo.— The decease of the Princess 
Charlotte, and disappointment in her still- 
born infant, seem to have produced general 
regret and lamentation. The prospects of 
joy and gladness are turned into mourning 
and heaviness ; and what results may follow 
this loss of an expected heir to the Crown, 
gives rise to some solicitude. Thus does it 
please Providence often to baffle our most 
hopeful expectations in a national as well as 
individual capacity, to convince frail, erring 
man of his imbecility, and that a greater than 
he plans and rules all the kingdoms of the 






1817. 459 

earth. It will be our wisdom to look to Him 
in all events, having full confidence that as 
His wisdom is above our wisdom, and his 
thoughts above our thoughts, so he will 
order all things for us better than we could 
for ourselves. Our foresight is short ; we 
can penetrate very little into the future, and 
can form but a very imperfect judgment re- 
specting the consequences that may follow 
from any present events. The most promis- 
ing appearances often fall far short of our 
sanguine expectations ; and dispensations 
that have appeared gloomy, have opened 
upon us with increasing brightness. We 
should endeavour to attain a patient sub- 
mission to the Divine will in all things, and 
so to walk in his holy fear, that we may have 
a well-grounded hope that his blessing will 
rest upon us, whatever outward dispensations 
we may have to encounter. 

26th. — " All the days of my appointed time 
will I wait till my change come."* 

This sentiment seems expressive of re- 
signation and acquiescence with the Divine 
will. And I believe, whenever we are dis- 
posed to quit the world, from feeling its 
disappointments and disquietudes, or from 

* Job, xiv. Ik 



460 1817. 

being weary of life, we may conclude that we 
are not in a right frame of mind, or in that 
state which is acceptable to God. 

Whether it be from the pressure of afflic- 
tion, or the gradual encroachments of age, 
that the wish is excited to escape from this 
state of existence, still we should consider 
that all things are under better direction 
than ours, and that we know not what be- 
nefit may accrue to ourselves or others from 
our longer continuance in this vale of tears. 
And notwithstanding we may sometimes give 
way to regret or discontent, I doubt, after 
all, whether we should not be like the man 
in the fable, who called upon Death to re- 
lease him from his burden, but on his ap- 
proach, desired him only to help him on 
with his load again. The Apostle Paul ex- 
pressed his desire to depart and to be with 
Christ, but it was with the willingness to 
remain and labour for others. Sometimes 
bodily sufferings are so great, that people 
desire to be released; but in rightly-disposed 
minds, the wish is accompanied with prayer 
to be preserved in patience and submission to 
the Divine Will. These are cases different 
from that impatience of spirit on account of 
smaller evils, which sometimes prompts the 
wish to escape from life ; but we ought wil- 



1818. 461 

lingly to submit to any trial that may be a 
means of promoting our eternal happiness. 
Let us fix in our minds, that God is good, 
and that all the dispensations that he allots 
us are intended for our benefit ; and thus, 
through faith, patience, and resignation, our 
souls will ascend to him ; we shall experi- 
ence consolation under all the trials we may 
have to encounter, and be sustained with a 
well-grounded hope, that all this will work 
together for good. 



1818. 

25th, 2d Mo. — I have passed my birth-day 
without thinking of it at the time. That 
birth-day which brought me to the period 
that is said to be the " days of a man's life ;" 
a period at which few arrive, in comparison 
of the multitudes that are swept from this 
stage of existence earlier in life ; yet I might 
almost say with the Patriarch, " Few and 
evil have the days of the years of my life 
been ;"* few compared with eternity, and 
evil with regard to my sins and transgres- 
sions. Yet I thankfully acknowledge that I 
have been in degree favoured with the dew 
of heaven, and the fatness of the earth : and 

* Gen. xlvii. 9. 



462 1 818 . 

though I have had a continual struggle with 
the corruptions of nature, and in some de- 
gree, to wrestle for a blessing ; yet I think a 
grain of faith has still been my portion, and 
in merciful condescension, a hand of help has 
been stretched out to support me. Draw 
nigh unto me, and I will draw nigh unto you, 
seems to be the language of the Creator to 
his creature man. If we do but avail our- 
selves of this invitation, I think we shall 
find our faith increase. Though we have 
been long fed with only milk, our strength 
will be renewed; we shall be enabled to 
bear meat; and as we press forward in sim- 
plicity of conduct and upright intention, we 
shall at last become " conquerors through 
him that loved us."* 

Throughout all the various turnings of my 
life, I have been used to ponder my latter 
end, and I think, with sincerity of heart, 
have desired to be prepared for it. What 
shall I do ? has frequently been the language 
of my spirit, and I trust the disposition has 
been felt to walk forward in the clear vision 
of light. But faith has sometimes been at a 
low ebb. A cloud has rested on the taber- 
nacle, and I have had long to stand still in 
the wilderness, until it again became a pillar 

* Rom. Tiii. 37. 



1818. 463 

of light. " O send out thy light and thy 
truth,"* that they may lead me and guide 
me. Let not my hope in thee, O Lord, 
fail, but continue to support me in old age. 
And when this tenement of clay is dissolved, 
grant me, I beseech thee, an admittance into 
thy Heavenly Kingdom. 

5th, 3d Mo. — " Who is among you that 
feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of 
his servant, that walketh in darkness, and 
hath no light? let him trust in the name of 
the Lord, and stay upon his God."+ When 
our minds are enveloped in a cloud, and 
we are surrounded by obscurity and con- 
fusion, what advice can we receive more 
pertinent than to trust in God, and stay our 
minds upon him. Weak as we are, we have 
no inherent power in ourselves to dispel the 
darkness ; we can only trust in the goodness 
and mercy of Him who can lead us in the 
right path, and cause darkness to become 
light round about us. If we look into the 
sacred writings, many are the texts we shall 
find, encouraging us to trust in God, with 
an annexed promise that it will not be in 
vain. " Trust in the Lord, and do good, 
so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily 
* Psalm xliii. 3. + Isaiah, 1. 10. 



464 1818. 

thou shalt be fed."* And as spiritual food 
is as necessary to sustain the soul, as natural 
food to support the body, no doubt, that if 
our hearts are upright before God, and de- 
pending upon him, we shall be favoured 
with that portion of each, which is necessary 
for us. " Trust in the Lord with all thine 
heart, and lean not unto thine own under- 
standing. In all thy ways acknowledge him, 
and he shall direct thy paths. "+ If we trust 
in the Lord with all our hearts, in full 
confidence that he is able and willing to 
guide all those who come unto him in the 
simplicity of children, if we are desirous to 
be taught by him to walk in that way which 
is well-pleasing in his sight, without exalt- 
ing ourselves, or leaning to our own under- 
standings, we may rest assured, that how- 
ever gloomy may be the way we have to 
travel, He will direct our paths, and grant 
us the knowledge that maketh wise unto 
salvation. 

With this knowledge, it will be our best 
wisdom to rest contented, without perplex- 
ing ourselves with the difficulties that occur 
to us in the administration of God's provi- 
dence over the world ; things impossible for 
our faculties to comprehend or fathom. Let 

* Psalm xxxvii. 3. + Prov. iii. 5, 6. 



1818. 465 

us trust in the full confidence of faith, that 
every thing is under the care and superin- 
tendance of a wise and good Being, who will 
bring order out of confusion, and ultimately 
cause all things to work together for good. 
This faith affords us no plea for sitting down 
in ease and slothfulness ; it should rather 
stimulate us to endeavour to do all the good 
we can, believing that in so doing, we are co- 
operating in the Divine plan, and knowing 
that our labour will not be in vain. In thus 
doing, we shall also follow the example of our 
blessed Saviour, who from the time that his 
acts are recorded, spent his life in doing 
good. 



*5 



6th, 3d Mo. — Last night I awoke with 
head-ache and oppression, when the lan- 
guage that seemed to arise in my mind was, 
" Into thy hands," O Lord, " I commit my 
spirit."* And I thought, that if I were near 
the awful brink of eternity, I should have 
felt strength to utter this ejaculation. I 
have often fervently prayed that my trans- 
gressions might be forgiven, and blotted out 
from the book of remembrance ; that through 
the mediation of a Saviour and Redeemer, I 
might obtain pardon for my sins, and become 
* Psalm xxxi. 5. 

x 5 



466 1818. 

so thoroughly sanctified by the operation of 
his power on my heart, that I might meet 
with acceptance with the Father. Oh, saith 
my soul, that I may always be supported 
with this grain of faith, which will gain the 
victory over death, hell, and the grave ! 

22d, 3d Mo.— Yesterday morning, M. D. 
and her daughter E. sat an hour with us, in 
the course of a family visit to our quarter. 
Affectionate advice and encouragement were 
handed forth ; may it tend to increase our 
faith, and stimulate us to press forward in 
the right path. 

23d, 5th Mo.— u If thou doest well, shalt 
thou not be accepted ? and if thou doest not 
well, sin lieth at the door."* The mode in 
which this question is asked, implies, If thou 
doest well, thou shalt be accepted. This 
law, expressive of the dealings of the Most 
High with his creature man, has never been 
abrogated ; and indeed, seems fresh sanc- 
tified under the Gospel, in many of our Sa- 
viour's discourses to the people. " I was 
an hungered and ye gave me meat ; I was 
thirsty and ye gave me drink-," + &c. To 
those who had performed these deeds, the 
* Gen. iv.7. t Matt. xxv. 35. 









1818. 467 

invitation was given, " Come, ye blessed of 
ray Father, inherit the kingdom prepared 
for you ;" whilst to those who had not per- 
formed those good acts, the sentence was 
pronounced, " Depart from me ye cursed.'' 
Likewise at the conclusion of the sermon on 
the Mount — u Whosoever heareth these say- 
ings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken 
him unto a wise man which built his house 
upon a rock,"* and it stood firm against the 
surrounding tempest ; whilst he that did 
them not, was " likened unto a foolish man. 
which built his house upon the sand," and it 
was overthrown. 

Through the frailty and corruption of our 
nature, " we all have sinned and come short 
of the glory of God."+ We have no righte- 
ousness of our own to plead ; we have all 
transgressed, and come under the judgment 
of condemnation. But here the Divine good- 
ness interposes for our help. Through the 
mercy of God, in Christ Jesus our Lord, we 
are again put in the way of salvation. Bv 
sincere repentance, coming to Christ, be- 
lieving on him, and obeying his commands, 
we are promised the pardon of our sins, and 
acceptance with God. But let us remember 
his warning, " Without me ye can do no- 
* Matt. vii. 25, &c. 1- Rom. iii. 23. 



468 1818. 

thing."* This state of dependance is not 
only profitable, but necessary. 

Whenever we consider ourselves, how 
prone we are to evil, and how liable to fall 
into temptation; so that sometimes, even 
when we intend good, evil seems present with 
us, we must be conscious of our imbecility, 
and the need in which we stand of something 
superior to our own strength to direct our 
steps aright. To walk forward in humility 
and fear, and in reliance upon that Divine 
help, is our only safe state. By grace we are 
saved through faith. And as we experience 
the redeeming power of Christ to be operat- 
ing on our hearts, we shall find him to be our 
strength in weakness, our riches in poverty, 
and a present Helper in every needful time. 

19th, 7th Mo.— u Could ye not watch with 
me one hour ?"t When assembled for the 
worship of God, or retired to meditate and 
wait upon him, does not this language of 
gentle reproof sometimes assail our minds ? 
We feel how difficult it is to keep them fixed 
on their proper object, and prevent them from 
straggling to various other things, and in this 
state find some comfort from the considera- 
tion of the gracious apology that our blessed 
* John, xv. 5. t Matt. xxvi. 40, 41. 



1818. 469 

Saviour mercifully made for his disciples. 
" The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh 
is weak." Perhaps there is scarcely any thing 
more difficult than to maintain this .watch. 
We could comply with forms of worship ; we 
could read or pray, or adopt any thing that 
called for activity of body or mind, better 
than keep a silent watch. Our faculties are 
disposed to slumber, and though our Saviour 
may be withdrawn from us but as at the dis- 
tance of a stone's cast, drowsiness overpowers 
us. But though we are sensible of, and re- 
gret the weakness of our nature, yet it should 
not tempt us to give up the struggle. We 
sometimes toil long and catch nothing ; and 
we may sometimes wait long without being 
favoured to feel the presence of the Master: 
but we may rest assured it will not be in vain. 
He knows how frail we are ; he remembers 
that we are but dust. His eyes are continually 
over us : he marks all our endeavours, and 
whilst we strive to do our best, will merci- 
fully assist and strengthen us, not only to 
watch against every intruder, but also to run 
the race that is set before us. 

15th, 10th Mo.— Without thee, O Lord, 
thy poor dependant children must be misera- 
ble. In all states, and in all situations, the 



470 1818. 

devout soul ascends to thee. In the season 
of prosperity, it flies to thee on the wings of 
joy and thanksgiving-; in the hours of ad- 
versity it flies to thee as the only hope of re- 
lief and consolation. Without being enabled 
to look to thee in every situation, we must 
be forlorn and comfortless. I sometimes let 
in a fear that I do not love thee as I ought. 
But wilt thou not, most Gracious God, accept 
it as some proof of love, that my soul can find 
no rest but in depending upon thee? In- 
crease this hunger and thirst after thee, I 
beseech thee, O Lord. And when contem- 
plating the wonders of thy power, and the 
mysterious government of thy providence 
over the children of men, my imagination is 
sometimes apt to wander into things too hard 
for me to comprehend ; check every thought 
that would lead me from a pure faith, and 
endue me with that knowledge which can 
alone make wise unto salvation. " Secret 
things belong unto" thee, O Lord, " but 
those things that are revealed belong* unto 
us and to our children."* 

We pray unto thee for strength to follow 
thee in simple obedience to those truths that 
thou hast been pleased to make known, not 
doubting that by doing thy will, we shall, 

* Deut. xxix. 29, 



1818. 471 

according to the words of our Saviour, be 
more fully instructed in his doctrine ; and 
that such discoveries will be made to us, as 
will assist us in our progress to that eternal 
rest, after which our souls so ardently aspire. 

3lst, 10th Mo. — The present appears to me 
an era, in which Friends, if they keep to 
their original integrity of conduct, may do 
much o-ood in the world. We are no longer 
the poor, despised people that we used to be : 
we hold a different rank in society. Those 
of other persuasions generally feel no repug- 
nance to uniting with us in schemes of public 
utility, and our sentiments are not without 
their weight in the scale. How much then 
does it behove us to watch well over our- 
selves, that we may not by any improper con- 
duct, lessen our means of usefulness. The 
more opportunity we have of doing good, 
the greater will be our responsibility. And 
perhaps there are many dangers and tempta- 
tions to which we are now exposed that call 
for increasing watchfulness, lest we should 
not support the character of the disciples of 
Christ. " They are not of the world, even 
as I am not of the world."* Our Saviour 
does not pray that they should be " taken 

+ John, xvii. 14. 



472 1818. 

out of the world," but that " they should be 
kept from the evil." Many, even among our 
Society, have fallen the victims of the love of 
show and expense. This taste leads people 
into those risks and extensive concerns which 
often end in their ruin, and are sometimes 
attended with shameful delinquencies in mo- 
ral character. 

1st, 11th Mo. — Prosperity in our passage 
through life often exposes us to more dangers 
than adversity. It fosters pride and self- 
complacence ; leads us to set a higher value 
on ourselves than we ought to do, and has a 
tendency to captivate our minds by the en- 
joyments of this present world. Adversity 
enforces humility, and leads us to look for- 
ward to another life. 

When we indulge ourselves in wishing for 
power or riches, we are but little aware of 
what we wish for. To covet power for the 
sake of ruling over others, and making them 
subservient to our will, we could not justify, 
even to ourselves. And if we covet it with 
the idea that it will enable us to do much 
good, and that we may use it for the benefit 
of others, experience will, most probably, 
convince us that we have laboured under 
much self-deception. If we covet riches that 



1818. 473 

we may spend them in ease and luxury, we 
shall find it end in disappointment ; for it is 
not in the power of such things to confer real 
happiness. And if we covet them with the 
prospect that we shall be more useful to 
others, and have the capacity to do more 
good, let us consider the deceitfulness of our 
own hearts, that they may not be enlarged as 
our abilities are increased, and that where 
much is given, much will be required, whe- 
ther it be of knowledge, power, or the good 
things of this life. 

" Let your moderation be known unto all 
men ;"* is the language of Holy writ : and 
this moderation should be prevalent in our 
desires as well as in our conduct. If we do 
but in good earnest apply the power, the 
knowledge, or the riches, of which we are at 
present possessed, to do the good that we 
can, we shall perhaps have a more ample 
supply than we had estimated, and our lives 
may be productive of much fruit ; like the 
widow's oil in the cruse which appeared to 
be but a small quantity, we shall find that it 
will produce a sufficiency for all our wants. 

If we are called to any station or situation 
in life, I do not know that we ought to reject 
it, merely because responsibility is attached 

* Phil. iv. 5. 



474 1818. 

to it; for if we can do good, we should not 
shrink from labour because it is unpleasant 
to us, but if duty point the path, set our 
hands and our hearts cheerfully to the work. 
There is scarcely any thing in life to which 
some degree of responsibility is not annexed. 
If we are blessed with sound limbs, we ought 
to use them according to their office ; if with 
a good understanding, we are bound to culti- 
vate it. If we are possessed of riches, we 
should use them as good stewards who are to 
account for them. If we have servants, we 
are responsible for our care and good treat- 
ment of them ; and if children, much more 
so, and likewise to labour for their benefit in 
various respects. No relationship or situa- 
tion in life can be exempt from responsibility; 
and though we may not covet those situations 
where it is increased, to endeavour to escape 
it wholly will be in vain, because, in the na- 
ture of things, impossible. To be content 
wherever we are, or in whatever circum- 
stances we are placed, filling up the measure 
of our duties as well as we are able, is the 
only wise and safe plan ; the plan which will 
most promote our happiness in the present 
life, and give us a well-grounded hope that 
we shall receive the welcome sentence of 
" Well done thou good and faithful ser- 



1818. 475 

vant;" "enter thou into the joy of thy 
Lord."* 



6th, 11th Mo. — Some friends who are 
anxiously solicitous for the welfare of their 
children, are yet fearful of giving- them much 
religious instruction, lest their minds should 
be led to form any improper ideas, or acquire 
a wrong bias. But whilst we endeavour to 
guard against one extreme, we should be 
careful not to fall into another; and I think 
some previous religious knowledge is neces- 
sary, before children can learn the benefit to 
be derived from silent waiting. 

When Samuel went to Eli, with the appre- 
hension that he had called him, the instruc- 
tion that he gave him was, " Go, lie down ; 
and it shall be, if he call thee, that thou 
shalt say, Speak, Lord, for thy servant hear- 
eth."+ Here seems much comprised in a 
short sentence. Samuel is informed by Eli, 
who it was that called him, how he was to 
answer, the readiness he ought to show in 
attending to whatever might be imparted to 
him, and his willingness to obey ; for all this 
is implied, in " thy servant heareth." 



7th, 12th jT/o.— Thou shall not " put a 

♦Matt. xxv. 21. tISam. iii.9. 



476 1818. 

stumbling-block before the blind, but shalt 
fear thy God."* These two things seem 
incompatible with each other. We cannot 
fear God, and do that which will cause the 
blind to stumble ; for " cursed is he that 
maketh the blind to wander out of the way."+ 
And if we consider the import of these texts? 
we shall be led to conclude that they extend 
much farther than the thing specified, and 
should so operate, as to have a general influ- 
ence over our conduct. It should be a set- 
tled rule, never to lead any body astray, 
whether bodily or mentally blind. We 
should never prompt any one to do anything 
that we think not right for him to do, either 
by an affected show of civility to him, or for 
our own gratification : never propose to any 
one to do that, which we should perhaps say, 
behind his back, he had better not have done ; 
it is a breach of that truth and sincerity of 
conduct which we ought inviolably to main- 
tain. We are in a higher degree culpable, 
if we lead those astray who are young and 
inexperienced, and who are probably looking 
towards us in some measure for guidance 
and protection. Job comforts himself with 
having been " eyes to the blind, and feet to 
the lame." And I believe we shall always 

* Lev. xix. U. t Deut. xxvii. 18. 






1818. 477 

look back with satisfaction on those circum- 
stances of our lives, wherein we have helped 
others to do right, either in their spiritual or 
temporal concerns. 

25th. — OLord,we beseech thee, "Lift thou 
up the light of thy countenance upon us."* 
Sensible of our own insufficiency, we pros- 
trate our souls before thee, earnestly praying 
for thy help and protection ; and not only 
for thy help and protection, but that thou 
wouldst open our hearts to receive instruc- 
tion, and give us strength to follow the coun- 
sel which thou art pleased to impart : that 
thus, knowing thy will, we may be guided 
by thee in all things. O Lord, we acknow- 
ledge our trangressions. We know that all 
our sins are beheld by thee, and that the in- 
most recesses of our hearts are open to thy 
inspection. We pray for thy forgiveness, 
through Christ our Mediator and Redeemer, 
that our repentance may be accepted, and 
our hearts purified, through the cleansing 
operation of his spirit. So strengthen us, 
we beseech thee, O Lord, that we may more 
and more follow on to " know thee, the only 
true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast 
sent;"t that, having our faith reanimated, 

* Psalm iv. C. t John, xvii. 4. 



478 1818. 

we may press forward with hope, and, in the 
conclusion, " rejoice in thy salvation."* 

26th. — When I sit down by the fireside, in 
my own chamber, to take a short repose in 
the afternoon, the thought often arises whe- 
ther I am not getting into habits of too much 
self-indulgence. Threescore and ten years 
of age may afford some plea for an increase 
of those indulgences that are within our 
reach ; but I think it requires watchfulness, 
that they do not extend too far, lest we should 
begin to think ourselves of most consequence, 
when we are in reality of the least. Yet 
many things conspire to promote this self- 
importance. Our friends and relatives, per- 
haps perceiving some increasing debilities 
and infirmities, are careful respecting us ; 
they prompt us to take care of ourselves, and 
withdraw from every thing that may fatigue 
or trouble us ; and I believe we sometimes 
give way to their apprehensions, lest we 
should in any respect become burdensome to 
them. 

When I have been sometimes contemplat- 
ing the happiness of my own situation re- 
specting temporals, and comparing it with 
that of those of inferior classes, I have felt 

* Psalm ix. 14. 



1819. 479 

my heart touched with compassion. But 
when on the other hand, I have looked at 
the situation of those much above me, and 
considered how unhappy they would think 
themselves, if reduced to mine, it has led me 
to the conclusion that there is a more equal 
distribution of happiness than one might, at 
a casual glance, imagine : and if it would be 
grievous for some, in a higher situation, to 
reconcile themselves to that which I find so 
comfortable, there is the same foundation to 
suppose that those of a lower class areequally 
satisfied with a much smaller portion of 
worldly goods than falls to my share. If we 
have food to eat, and clothing to put on, with 
a house to shelter, and fire to warm us, we 
shall not be precluded from earthly enjoy- 
ments. Few situations are so deplorable, 
but that, with a contented mind, they will 
afford some comforts ; and, without it, the 
highest cannot be happy. 



1819. 

8//«, 1st Mo. — Four weeks to-day, 



has been confined with a severe and dan- 
gerous illness. Her unvaried kindness to her 
near connexions has led them to look to her 
in all seasons of difficulty and affliction, when 



480 1819. 

they have always experienced her readiness 
to sympathize with and assist them. She 
was " kindly affectioned," and could not bear 
the shadow of being at variance with any 
body. But I am speaking of her in the past 
tense, and as if she now were not. What 
will be, is in the womb of futurity ; and we 
should cultivate the faith, that every thing 
is under the direction of an All-wise Being, 
who knows what is good for us, better than 
we know ourselves. 

29th. — Early on fifth-day morning, theSlst, 
my sister M. departed this life, and was in- 
terred at Winchmore Hill on the 28th, after 
a meeting. 

One cannot help feeling regret, that a life 
so useful should not have been prolonged, 
besides that which arises from our own par- 
ticular attachment. But with regard to her 
state, we have every consolation ; and let us 
bear in remembrance, that God's thoughts 
are not our thoughts, neither are his ways 
our ways. And whether in joy or grief, in 
sickness or in health, in prosperity or adver- 
sity, let us reverently bow before Him ; and, 
under the various dispensations of his provi- 
dence, come unto him with the offering of 
adoration and praise. 



1819. 481 

1st, kth Mo. — Assist me, I beseech thee, O 
Lord, to cast all my care upon thee in a living 
faith ; in a faith that can rely with confidence 
on thy mercy and goodness, and, in a firm 
dependance upon thee, under every dispen- 
sation. Thou alone canst supply all our 
spiritual and temporal wants ; and all our 
hopes centre in thee, as the source of every 
blessing we can possess. Lead us on, we 
pray thee, O Lord, in that path which will 
bring us nearer and nearer to thee ; that, 
when all our struggles through life are past, 
we may find a place of rest with thee for ever. 

27th, 6th Mo.—" Satan hath desired to 
have you, that he may sift you as wheat."* 
This was the language of Christ to his dis- 
ciples, when near the close of his mission on 
earth. And the text has often occurred to 
my mind, accompanied with feelings that 
have almost tempted me to think whether I 
was not in the same predicament. When we 
are in a state of much anxiety respecting 
temporal things, evil suggestions relative to 
those which are spiritual, sometimes arise ; 
our minds become perplexed and bewildered 
amidst the doubts that surround us, and we 
are almost ready to give way to " an evil 

* Luke, xxii. 31. 

Y 



482 1819. 

heart of unbelief."* We cannot compre- 
hend the mysterious government of Provi- 
dence over the moral world, and debilitated 
in mind, we are perhaps more apt to fall 
from that living faith that can alone support 
us. But let us recollect the consoling addi- 
tion made by our Saviour to Peter, after 
having informed his disciples that Satan had 
desired to have them, that he might sift them 
as wheat : " But I have prayed for thee that 
thy faith fail not." We may trust that his 
mercy is extended to all who have but a 
grain of faith to come unto him; and though 
at times it may appear so weak, that we are 
ready to cry out, " Lord, help thou mine un- 
belief," yet if we endeavour in simplicity to 
rely upon him, he will disperse the clouds 
that surround us, and grant us a portion of 
that knowledge which maketh wise unto 
salvation. 

28th. — It is no new thing for religious 
minds to be tempted and tried ; they lament 
their desertions and the withdrawing of 
Divine favour, and frequently feel them- 
selves in a bewildered state. In this situa- 
tion, we should endeavour to possess our 
souls in patience, supported with hope; and 

* Heb. iii, 12. 






1819. 483 

when more clearness and brighter prospects 
appear, like the Apostle Paul, when he was 
met by his Christian brethren, thank God. 
and take courage. 

1st, 1th Mo. — In a testimony respecting a 
deceased friend, above a year ago, it was re- 
marked that she had said, there was iniquity 
even in our best things, or our best per- 
formances. I do not exactly remember the 
expression, but the sentiment has since often 
occurred to my mind, with an acknowledg- 
ment of its truth. We are poor, weak crea- 
tures, and can have nothing to boast of. 
Even when we endeavour to do our best, it 
is mixed with much to lament, and we have 
cause to regret our deficiencies, and feel 
humbled under them, rather than to look 
back with any self-applause. 

To go to a place of worship, is so far 
well; but have we such a command over our 
thoughts, as to prevent the intrusion of any 
improper ones while there ? or have we 
watched and struggled against them, with all 
the vigilance we were able ? We perhaps 
do an act of charity ; but has it been from 
proper motives ? and has it had nothing of 
ostentation, self-consequence or importance 
accompanying it ? When we weigh all our 



m 1819. 

actions in the impartial scale of truth, we 
shall be made sensible how much they fall 
short, either in thought, word, or deed; and 
that to us belongs nothing but " confusion 
of face." 

29th, 1th Ifo.— Happy is it for us, when 
we feel all our hopes and wishes tempered 
with resignation to the Divine Will. In 
riches or in poverty, in joy or in grief, in 
life or in death, if we put our whole trust in 
God we shall not be moved. He knows 
what is most profitable for all his creatures, 
both for us, and for those about whom we are 
most anxious; and we may so confide in 
him, as to rest assured that he will cause all 
things to work together for good. 

2Ath, Sth Mo.— If we steadily and patiently 
endeavour to pursue the right path, as far as 
knowledge is imparted to us, and occupy 
with those talents that are committed to our 
care, we may comfort ourselves with the hope 
that the endeavour will be accepted by Him 
who knows all our weaknesses and infirmi- 
ties, and the temptations to which our frail 
nature is liable. Though we are sometimes 
surrounded with darkness, and our faith 
seems almost ready to fail, yet let us re- 









1819. 485 

member who it was that said, " My grace is 
sufficient for thee."* When he sees meet, 
he can dispel the darkness, and cause us to 
rejoice in his salvation. 

14£A, 11th Mo. — I often struggle for re- 
signation, and a more complete acquiescence 
with the Divine Will. I can say, with the 
Apostle Paul, " I keep under my body, and 
bring it into subjection ;"+ but I do not feel 
capable of exerting the same influence over 
my mind. I believe this can only be effected 
by the operation of that Power who can 
" subdue all things unto himself."^: He 
watches over all the workmanship of his 
hands, and his providence is continually ho- 
vering over us for good. His power is the 
same over the perturbations of the soul, as 
over the boisterous elements, and he can 
diffuse a calm over the mind as easily as over 
the tempestuous ocean. The prayer of faith 
will ascend to Him : he will pluck our feet 
out of the miry clay, and set them upon a 
rock whose foundations are fixed, and will 
stand firm against the rain, the floods and 
the wind. I think we shall do well not to 
perplex ourselves with contemplating the 
various evils of life, or the mystery of ini- 

* II Cor. xii. 9. x I Cor. ix. 27. $ Phil. iii. 21. 

y3 



486 1820. 

quity. Secret things belong unto God, and 
he only can reveal them according to his 
good pleasure. Our concern is with those 
that are revealed ; and we may trust that we 
shall be sufficiently enlightened to pursue 
the right way. Submission to the Divine 
Will in all things is our duty, and will 
prove the source of our greatest happiness ; 
for when our will revolts against the Divine 
Will, nothing but misery can ensue. How- 
ever perplexing or depressing may be the 
trials we have to encounter, still we should 
endeavour not to let our faith fail ; but con- 
templating the goodness and mercy of God 
through the whole course of our lives, con- 
tinue to trust in him ; and even " although 
the fig-tree shall not blossom, neither shall 
fruit be in the vines,"* yet we should raise 
our souls to " rejoice in the Lord, and joy 
in the God of our salvation." 



1820. 

2cf, 1st Mo. — To those who are advanced 
to that period of life in which they may ex- 
pect soon to step out of the world, and leave 
all its concerns, what relates solely to the 

* Hab. iii. 17, 18. 



1820. 487 

individual self cannot be a subject of much 
importance. Through hope, I endeavour to 
struggle on ; and am at times fully sensible 
of the haopiness of a calm acquiescence with 
the will of God, in all the dispensations of 
his providence, whether in those obviously 
great trials that call forth the sympathy of 
our friends, or in those more trifling ones 
which are felt chiefly by ourselves. 

29th, 1st Mo. — That we may not be over- 
whelmed by the terrors of the Almighty, he 
is proclaimed to us throughout the Scriptures 
as a God of mercy and loving kindness ; ap- 
pealing to the warmth of our own affections 
and declaring it more possible for a woman 
to forget her sucking child, than for him to 
forget his people. To consider him as a God 
of love is most consoling to the human mind. 
When we see him only in his majesty and the 
greatness of his power, we may feel (like the 
Israelites of old, when they beheld his glory 
upon Mount Sinai) struck with terror and 
amazement. But when he is represented to 
our view as a Father in Heaven, full of be- 
neficence and love, and giving us his blessed 
Son to redeem us from evil and draw us to 
himself, it inspires us with confidence, and 
enables us to overcome slavish fear, and trust 



488 1820. 

in him for our happiness both here and here- 
after. 



«. 






Ibth, 3d Mo. — To stand in our allotments, 
and endeavour to fulfil the duties of that 
station in which we are placed, is always 
profitable advice; but the human mind is 
generally prone to seek something great, and 
those who are well-disposed, and with true 
devotion of heart endeavouring to perform 
their Heavenly Father's will, are sometimes 
in danger, if they do not feel themselves 
called to particular exertions and acts of 
public dedication, of letting in a fear that 
their private services are not acceptable. 
This may lead them from the simple path of 
duty, to seek for something of more impor- 
tance to evince their dedication. But those 
who have the ten or the five talents are not 
always called upon to employ them in the 
same way, though the adequate improvement 
will be necessary ; and if those to whom only 
one talent is given, should attempt to do 
great things, and to occupy with it on the 
same plan as those who have the ten, they 
would soon get into confusion, and not be 
able to make any improvement at all. 

23d, 9th Mo.— Often during my illness 



1820. 489 

have I felt the comfort of attention from 
near relatives. And I hope I have been 
truly thankful to Him who has been my 
Preserver through life, that my mind has 
been covered with calmness throughout. I 
know how much I stand in need of mercy, 
and I have sometimes found my mind over- 
shadowed with clouds. But as the struggle 
is still maintained to be more redeemed from 
the corruptions of nature, it seems a proof 
that Divine goodness is not withdrawn, and 
that I may hope to have that mercy granted 
of which I stand in need. 

13th, 10th Mo.— a Our Father which art 
in Heaven !" Though our Lord and Master, 
thou permittest us to address thee by the en- 
dearing title of Father ; thus engaging us 
to love thee, and to approach thee with filial 
affection. To trust that as a father pitieth 
his children when they go astray, so wilt 
thou pity us who are the workmanship of thy 
hands, and help us to walk forward in the 
right path. If in all the terrors of thy Ma- 
jesty thou shouldst lay thy hand upon us, 
who could bear its pressure, or stand before 
thee ? But thou art graciously pleased to 
reveal thyself to us as a God of mercy and 
loving kindness ; willing to accept of our 



490 18121, 

repentance, and receive even the returning 
prodigal. Thus encouraged, we put up our 
petition to thee, O Father, for the forgive- 
ness of all our transgressions ! humbly be- 
seeching thee to help us to come unto thee 
in true faith, that we may be instructed and 
guided like submissive and obedient chil- 
dren; looking unto thee for that assistance, 
without which we can do nothing, and ac- 
knowledging that all power belongeth unto 
thee! 



25th, 12th Mo. — When we contemplate the 
various scenes of imbecility of body or mind 
that we have witnessed, or that surround us, 
we cannot surely covet old age as a blessing. 
Nevertheless, if our lives can be of use to 
others, or profit ourselves in better preparing 
us for those regions of peace and purity? 
which through abundant mercy we hope to 
enter, we may well endure, not only with 
resignation but with thankfulness, all the 
privations to which it subjects us. 



1821. 

25th, 1st Mo. — When thick darkness that 
might be felt was over the land of Egypt, 
" all the children of Israel had lioht in their 



1821. 491 

dwellings."* What a privilege this was ! 
But it is a still greater privilege to be fa- 
voured with spiritual light, that we may see 
clearly what we have to do, and the way in 
which we ought to walk. I often long for 
this spiritual clearness, that I may have a 
right faith, and be strengthened to walk in 
conformity with it. But this would be walk- 
ing by sight rather than faith ; a state which 
we are informed is not to be our portion, 
while we are struggling with mortality. We 
may trust in the goodness of God, that he has 
revealed enough for our salvation, if, with 
simplicity of heart we endeavour to walk 
forward in that light which he has afforded : 
but, if instead of this we endeavour to stretch 
our reasoning faculties beyond their powers 
and penetrate into those things which are 
sealed mystery, we shall only get more and 
more perplexed, and perhaps miss that light 
and that way, in which it is said, " the way- 
faring men, though fools, shall not err 
therein. " + 

6th, 2d Mo. — When I look back to an early 
part of my life, and make a comparison be- 
tween that time and the present, I often feel 
surprised at the different state of society ; 

* Ex. x. 23. t Isaiah, xxxv. 8. 



492 1821. | 

particularly respecting those various public 
institutions, associations, &c. which have of 
late been formed for the benefit and improve- 
ment of mankind. I think the change may 
in part have arisen from the different influ- 
ence of the female character in society ; their 
joint exertions with the men, helping for- 
ward the great work of meliorating the hu- 
man race : and where Women are the objects, 
much of the minutiae is particularly the pro- 
vince of women. Private charity was per- 
haps as great formerly as it is in the present 
day, but it was, I think, more confined to the 
domestic circle. 

But it often happens, that as a nation rises 
in one part of its character, it falls in an- 
other. I suppose dissipation and extrava- 
gance are now as prevalent as ever, and 
justice and integrity at a lower ebb. Fifty 
years ago bankruptcy was a rare thing ; now 
it is become so frequent that, except by the 
persons concerned, it passes almost unno- 
ticed, even though accompanied with great 
delinquency. What shall we say to these 
things ? Not give up our endeavours to do 
good where we can, because a great deal of 
evil still exists, or that many of our exer- 
tions prove abortive. When any thing pro- 
fitable is on the wheel, the adversary of man- 



1821. 493 

kind frequently endeavours to stop it, and 
mar the work. We can only pray to our 
Heavenly Father to put it into our hearts to 
do good, and assist us in the prosecution of 
it ; being under the daily conviction that 
without his help we can do nothing ; but 
that if his blessing attend the work, it will 
assuredly prosper. 

28th, 3d Mo. — I find infirmities increase 
upon me, and I am often led to think on the 
similitude there is between childhood and 
old age. I have not attained to the full 
assurance of Faith respecting futurity, but I 
trust hope is prevalent : and when I look 
back and consider the many preservations I 
have experienced in the course of my life, it 
surely calls for reliance on the mercies of 
God, that he will not forsake me in old age, 
and that through Christ my Saviour and 
Redeemer he will grant me pardon for all my 
transgressions. This has been the soul-sus- 
taining hope in all my conflicts, and I trust 
will not forsake me at the last. 

14£/i, bth Mo. — On seventh-day morning 
departed this life, having survived her 



husband nearly four years. I too am hasten- 
ing to the same period, and whether the in- 

z 



494 1821. 

tervening time maybe long' or short, I desire 
without anxiety to leave to Him who knows 
better than his creatures what is most con- 
ducive to their welfare. About two weeks 
ago, I found a shortness of breath so very 
troublesome that I consulted T.S. about it. 
I became better ; but at this better I seem to 
stop, and though my breath is in some degree 
relieved, I feel much languor and debility. 
I trust I am supported with a degree of faith 
that the mercy which has been so often ex- 
tended to me through life will not forsake 
me, that He who careth for his creatures will 
not lay upon me heavier burdens than he will 
enable me to bear, and that at last, when the 
closing scene arrives, I shall be favoured to 
lay down my head in peace. 

18th, 6th Mo. — Whether I am waiting for 
returning illness, or for returning strength, 
seems often to my mind very doubtful. I 
believe I had oftener looked forward to a 
speedy dissolution than to a long previous 
illness ; but whichever may be my allotment, 
I hope I shall be resigned to it, and while my 
mind is capable of being raised in supplica- 
tion, that the prayer for mercy and forgive- 
ness may be put up, and that help afforded 
which can sustain us through all diffi Acuities. 






1821. 495 

26th, 6th Mo. — Yesterday afternoon we 
had a very satisfactory visit from A. B. She 
particularly united with me in some of the 
thoughts that had occupied my mind during 
my late illness, and I felt peculiarly gratified 
in hearing clearly all she said : a thing latterly 
of very rare occurrence either in public or 
private religious opportunities. With re- 
gard to the body, I think 1 have been tread- 
ing a circle; but I hope the mind will be 
prevented from again slipping into the round. 
" All the days of my appointed time will I 
wait, till my change come." And may He 
who knows what is best for me enable me to 
bear the turning of his hand upon me, until 
all be removed that obstructs an entrance 
into his kingdom. 



THE END. 



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